OceanBreeze1

moremiles, yes the stress seems to be a contributing factor. My Mom recently lost one of her sisters & a very dear lifelong friend. Mom is having a tough time coping with those losses (although she will not openly admit it).

gail

An almost universal feature of Alzheimers is the inability to learn new tasks - no matter how often you show someone, how simple the task - so learning to use a computer and internet is likely not going to happen now.

The driving issue - always a very tough one, but something that must be dealt with. In many states (including mine, MA) you can not "get them to revoke her license". There is no provision for MDs to report any one to DMV for any diagnosis other than blindness or seizure disorder - not can family do it. If a person is applying for a handicapped license plate (not placard) there is a way to get a licesne revoked thru that process - but it is rarely used.

The only practical way to deal with the issue is to deal with the car. Sometimes it can be "broken" or "in the shop" for long enough to end the discussion - but the car usually has to disappear - just disabling it makes it seem to sit there in the driveway taunting them. And there are legal and ethical issues here - you would be technically stealing your parent's car. In case of my MIL we got the MD to tell her she needed to stop driving for 3 months until she recovered from some unrelated medical event - I think actually pneumonia.

Availability of alternate transportation is usually a problem - so add that to your list of things to worry about. We know people who have hired inexpensive teenagers to drive their parents around - teens love to have the job and elders loved the company and youthful energy.

USNR

At first, because we lived in a rural area, we were on dial-up with Earth-Link. This was about 15 years ago. My wife was a successful real estate salesperson. I was retired but very active in volunteer work.

Dial-up, believe me, was an advance from just having a computer box unconnected to anywhere. The first computer entered our home about 20 years ago. Maybe 24 years. As time passed, we hooked up with the Internet world through a local service provider. All these steps seemed like logical progressions.

With friends all over the world, we keep up a chatter. And with Skype and a web cam, we "see" each other regularly.

Unfortunately, many friends our age refuse to enter the computer world. Some even believe unless something is handwritten that it is not proper. I say "phooey" on such codgerdom. Come, grow old with me, the best of life is yet to be, as the poet said.

nytraveler

Aricept helps most patients at least somewhat - but you must realize is that what it does is delay decline. Nothing can bring back what has been lost. And what has been lost may not be clear immediately. the usual side effects are some nausea. For that reason it's important that someone monitor the dose, increase only if needed - and be sure the person is eating and drinking enough.

There are a couple of other drugs but Aricept is the standard for mild to moderate. It is possible to combine with another drug and there is also one for more severe patients, although how effective the latter is is not yet clear.

What is most important is that the person have a regular schedule, keep in contact with family and friends as much as possible and take part in activities that they enjoy.

My dad is sometimes confused now (esp later in the day) but fine most of the time - esp if you talk to him about things in the moment (that is, what's in today's paper, who's doing what in the game on TV etc). He tends to be more confused about "systems" type of things. My mom has now taken over the finances completely - but she makes sure he always has money - just $100 or so in his wallet - and gets him to do things like pay the lawn service when they come. He knows there are things he can;t do anymore - like drive - but feels better when there are thing he can take care of. (When I go shopping for them he always makes a point of stowing all the groceries away, keeping track of what they need for the next food run etc.)

As far as driving is concerned - definitely get anyone with AD off the road as soon as possible. They're definitely a risk to others as well as themselves. We ended up selling the car so my father wouldn't have to look at it in the driveway - although before his last hospitalization he volunteered that he didn't feel confident driving it any longer.

annhig

USNR - you are an example to us all.

I'm sure that my dad would have embrassed new technology with the same enthusiasm, but my mum has trouble programming the TV so I suspect that she is destined to remain a computer-free zone.

nelsonian

USNR my brother is just about to turn 60, and refuses to use Skype. He could keep in contact with his nieces and nephews much more easily or even myself and his Mum who lives with us. He has downloaded it but never uses it.

annhig

nelsonian -

i confess to some sympathy with your brother [and I'm quite a lot younger than him]. I have to force myself to deal with each bit of new technology, and Skype is one of the things that I'm still not comfortable with.

nanabee

USNR, wow. You are a lucky man indeed. Sounds like you have a wonderful wife too. I agree with you, I think the ability to learn new stuff whether it be computers, or any other new skill does keep the brain active and working.

My uncle is 82 and strong as a bull (and stubborn as well) and he refuses to try new things. I hope I can remember to see life the way you do at age 82!

Thanks for sharing.

nanabee

Oh, meant to add my uncle is in the early stages of dementia. One thing I can recommend for families who have concerns about a loved on is to find a volunteer or group or company that has professionals (not necessarily medical) who are knowlegable in this area to advise you. I have been given the name of a company that does this. The worker has been involved with Alzheimer's care for 14 years (she is still quite young) and is a wealth of information.

JudyC

Many heartfelt thanks to you all who contribute this thread, looking after ageing parents is one of the most difficult challeges among my generation.

LoveItaly

It has always been a challenge for each generation, JudyC. But at least now there are more groups and organizations to turn to when dealing with elderly relatives that have health problems. It is still very difficult and heartbeaking but I reflect back on what my parents went through and their parents went through with little assistance at all. Bless everyone that does the best they can to assist the ill and often elderly in their time of need.