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THE SLOWEST TRIP REPORT EVER POSTED BY AN AMERICAN VISITOR TO THE ANTIPODES or Cassowaries, Cape Trib and a night of sheer terror

THE SLOWEST TRIP REPORT EVER POSTED BY AN AMERICAN VISITOR TO THE ANTIPODES or Cassowaries, Cape Trib and a night of sheer terror

Old Dec 21st, 2004, 07:17 PM
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THE SLOWEST TRIP REPORT EVER POSTED BY AN AMERICAN VISITOR TO THE ANTIPODES or Cassowaries, Cape Trib and a night of sheer terror

Long lost friends

Our drive out of Cairns was uneventful, only marred by my leaving my passport behind. But where we were going you didn’t really need one. Our first stop was the animal park at Port Douglas. We felt that this brought us closer to the native fauna than our experience at the Taronga Zoo and we got up close and personal with a baby crocodile ( cuter than a koala and even awake!). We stopped off at Mossman for a hike at the gorge. There are a lovely series of short walks laid out by the local Aboriginal group through the rainforest and along the river.

Unfortunately the local Chinese downtown was closed due to a family dishwasher strike and we were unable to compare it to that wonderful outback Chinese cuisine we enjoyed in Ayr.

While waiting for the ferry across the Daintree we were able to photograph various examples of large fake crocodiles. (I’m not sure if this is the home of the largest fake crocodile or if that’s near the Mary River, NT, would an Ozzie venture an opinion? By the way, might local men be Ozzies and sheilas be Harriets?) Crossing the river on the short ferry ride we were actually able to see the real thing.

The road beyond is fairly narrow, with many examples of falling rock, but very beautiful, with spectacular views of box jelly fish infested beaches.( Does anyone else think its obnoxious for the Australians to have all these luscious beaches and then spoil them by raising box jelly fish?)

We soon reached our next destination, the Tropical Fruit Ice Cream Stand, mentioned in all the best guide books. Being a pig I sampled most of the flavors on offer and settled down with an extra large cup. A local know it all claimed the ice cream was actually made in Cairns and only flavored north of the river. But he was a pill and probably was just being sourgrapes because he hadn’t thought of the very successful Tropical Fruit Ice Ceam Stand. North of the Daintree is off the grid and definetly populated by some off their meds transplants from the population centers further south.

We were headed to Cape Trib to spend two nights at a flying fox research station. As we pulled in the driveway the rain closed in. Where we parked it seemed as if the rainforest had begun to reclaim the station which consisted of 2 portables joined by a covered verandah and a few cabins and toilet/shower structure. We went out to meet a giant lizard that had disabled the solar installation (across the river is off the grid).

John turned to me and indicated he thought we had made a terrible mistake. One of the newly arrived volunteers apparently thought the same and was busy enquiring as to where he could book a returnflight to Zurich. We went over to the pens and met the subjects. I never did find out exactly what was being researched, but we did get to handle the flying foxes. These creatures which look picturesque flying about the Botanical Garden in Sydney are fairly gross at first hand.

At dinner we met a few more of the staff and had to share the table with an injured fox who had a rather bad case of excema. A bilby came by and was fed cold spaghetti, apparently a treat for bilbies. We learned the area was infested with amythest pythons who were eager to cuddle up with the flying foxes and that all hell would break loose if they got into the pens.

We retired to our cabin , only to dicover it windowless and screenless. I ask you, who was going to save us from the amythest pythons?. Our pillows had the worst case of mildew in the southern hemisphere. We sailed them out into the jungle and they had disappeared by morning. The rotting vegetation in the forest produces a bio-lumenesence which could easily be mistaken for python eyes and I dared not step off the deck for my 3 AM pee.

Dawn finally broke in the tropics, At breakfast we heard about the difficulties of land conservation. The actual World Heritage area is relatively small and the state gov’t has minimal funds to expand it. The various land owning factions are apparently at each others throats and everyone seems to have a different program to save or ravage the environment. Pleading an urgent appointment across the river we fled after breakfast and even at $10. per night this was not good value.

Next: Our sampling of the dubious comforts(?) of Port Douglas and eventually our triumphant return to the comforting arms of Pat and Mike at the Lilybank B&B.

Happy New Year to all,

AndrewDavid

PS I promise to complete my report before we immigrate to Canada.



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Old Dec 22nd, 2004, 02:48 AM
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You shouldn't have said that last bit, AndrewDavid. Now we can all tell the Canadian authorities about you, and you'll never make it over the border. Judy_in_Calgary and Susan_in_Toronto take note!

Another amusing report, very welcome even if slightly overdue. Best wishes for Christmas!
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Old Dec 22nd, 2004, 03:57 AM
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Hi Andrew, thank you for posting that - I remember you talking about it and your recount is even more amusing. You did find yourselves with an an eccentric up there, to say the least! I made a couple of enquiries after you left Cairns, this is the man who wants to chop down every coconut palm tree in the country, on the grounds that they are not true Australian natives. Now if a coconut manages to float in from reasonably close shores ie, PNG or Indonesia and establishes itself into a viable and valuable tree on our fair coast, why should we worry?
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Old Dec 22nd, 2004, 06:09 AM
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I cannot wait for the next installment!

I'm considering this report an "early Christmas present"

Melodie
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Old Dec 22nd, 2004, 11:37 AM
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I am so glad to see that some of the "nitwits" from the South are alive and well and still remaining in the jungles of far north Queensland - the thought of having to put up with them down here again is just too much to take!
Sorry though that you had to encounter one them as they are a breed known especially well around the Cape Trib. parts. I seem to recall that they do get to travel to Tasmania every once in a while to fight the chopping down of some sacred tree or something like that. Anyway this is what makes North Queensland particularly special and different with the only exception being parts of the Louisiana & Mississippi swampland with their own variety of "Yowies" (sp?)
Also I have it on good authority that the natives of Hawaii came over and saw our beautiful beaches and especially bred those dreadfull little stingers in an attempt to draw our tourists over there but they forgot that further south ( where the beaches are much better anyway ) the little nasties don't survive.
At least you got to see our home grown biolumenescence which is certainly unique in the world or at least to that part of the globe where everything that stands still for 5 minutes becomes emerald green - boots, shoes, clothing, pythons and backsides at 3AM so you were quite right not to have that pee as an attack of the green on that part of the anatomy is embarrassing to say the least. You just don't know what little things might grow in it. I can well remember one of my more stupid ideas of camping in Kakadu once when something similiar happened together with the grunting of crocs which is rather disturbing to say the least. It should have been nice but when one is waiting for the moment when you will be devoured by either a croc or a python it is not condusive of a good night's sleep.
I must say that it is 'bout time that your report came out too and are you off to Canada some time soon? Who will be left to save your country?
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Old Dec 22nd, 2004, 08:39 PM
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Old Dec 23rd, 2004, 03:54 AM
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Andrew

Funny/interesting report. Don't worry about your plans to emigrate to Canada. You still have me and I have a great flashlight to help you cross the border.

Where's the chili recipe for Neil and Bill and me?



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Old Dec 27th, 2004, 03:24 PM
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Thanks for kind words

Liz, No stingers in Hawai'i luckily. We are off to Honolulu and Big Is. for a week at the end of January

Michi, Chile recipe sent

More to follow.

Happy New Year to all

AndrewDavid
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