So...nothing happens in Canberra? Or, llamas in the carpark.
 

A couple of weeks ago I pulled into Canberra's City Markets undercover car park and was immediately confronted by two ladies parking their llamas (for free, I might add, as they'd led them around the boom gates).

There were two fully-grown llamas together with a smaller beast, either an immature llama or an alpaca (I'm not good on these things) that had been painted in a lime green-and-pink colour scheme. I should add that the ladies in question were leading the animals, not riding them, which given the girth of one of them was just as well.

Your intrepid correspondent is posting this to refute the common belief that nothing of any interest ever happens in Canberra. This foul libel was last repeated here by an Irish poster who, as is often the case, had arrived at his conclusion without having bothered to visit the city.

I have never been to Dublin, but I've been assured by Irish friends that sightings of brightly coloured llamas and other interesting beasts are very common in that city - but mostly late at night, whereas I saw mine at 11:00 am, and I was stone cold sober.

OK, everyone, I think that now we should all chip in for a T-shirt for Neil: "Please don't feed me, I am not one of the llamas".

Hi Alan, LOL! I will chip a dollar (a US one at that) for Neil's T-shirt.

But, what concerns me is this. First the flying chickens and now the lime green and pink llama's.

Uhm, does anyone knows if our dear Neil imbibes in the morning? Shall we get overwrought and worried about him?

And I suppose we will be hearing about this too on CNN! ::)

Come on, guys. The falling chickens were in Newcastle. I didn't start that one.

Alan, I think we should chip in to buy Neil some beer! If he's telling stories like this when he's sober, imagine the yarns he will come up with after he's had a few! ((B))

Now who's to believe that Neil was truly sober when he saw this?

>There were two fully-grown llamas together with a smaller beast, either an immature llama or an alpaca (I'm not good on these things) that had been painted in a lime green-and-pink colour scheme<

Another question arises as to the girth of one of them - which one Neil - the animal or the lady??

Very kind offer, John - a carton of Sam Adams Boston Lager will do very nicely, thanks. Or given the date, should that be Guinness? I'm sure AustraliaZoolsGreat will back me on that.

LN, you of little faith. What a pity I didn't have the camera with me so I could silence the doubters. Alas, it may be too late - my son informs me that yesterday "a bunch of Christians" threw a barbecue outside his workplace, not 300m from the aforesaid City Markets. He's home sick today, muttering darkly about poisoning plots. And I haven't seen the llamas lately...

The girth belonged to the owner, not the beast.

Neil

Some people are just unbelievers! Cynics!

Some years ago, I used to find a large white rabbit in my front yard, when I came home from work. (No - it didn't have a watch or a waistcoat, though!).

I used to say hello to it and it'd just sit there, until I went inside. No-one I told ever believed me. I even took photos and no-one believed me! :(

Some months later, after he had disappeared, it came up in conversation, and a friend commented that she had actually seen it there one afternoon, when she dropped something off - "but I thought it was just another of M's stories come to life!"

Sheesh!

But Margo, a white rabbit versus two limegreen and pink llamas plus one baby one? Your story has more of a ring of sensibility to it, LOL.

I still think dear Neil was just having a bad morning, but then again after the flying chickens I guess we have to believe him.

By the way, did you name the rabbit Harvey?

I still say you Aussie's have more fun then anyone.

Alan,

I will "see" LoveItalys $1 US and raise to $4.....but I want a picture of Neil IN the t-shirt.

Melodie

Trust me, Melodie, you don't want to see a picture of me in a T shirt - any T shirt.

...and LoveItaly, in the interests of accuracy it was a big white llama, a big brown llama and a little pink-and-green llama. Let's not make this story any weirder than it is already, OK?

I've since been told that llamas get very stressed if they're separated from the other llamas, so even if a farmer is taking one to the vet another one has to be loaded to keep it company.

I suppose this would be the wrong time to mention that a few years ago I was nearly run over by a kangaroo belting down our street early one morning? And on another occasion I saw a large hare taking the same route? And this after explaining patiently to intending visitors to Australia that no, you won't see kangaroos hopping down the streets.

Which reminds me that some years ago a wombat was arrested for trespass when it found its way into Canberra's city police station. That was in the paper, so it must be true.

OMG Neil, I just read your last post and I do indeed owe you an apology. I must confess that when I read your original post I read it as the two fully-grown llamas were painted in a lime green and pink.

Now that you have clearly explained that it was only the immature llama or alpaca that was painted lime green and pink you do not know how relieved I am. I am sure many others are also!

For a bit there we were quite worried about you. But obviously all is well and we should not concern yourself. Seeing a lime green and pink baby llama (or whatever it was) is of course not to fret about.

In fact I am so relieved you are alright that I am rescinding my $1.00 (US mind you) and am sure that Melodie will be withdrawing her $4.00.

I actually think we will all sleep better now that the story has been cleared up.

And again dear Neil, my most humble apology from your friend across the Pacific.

Now about that kangaroo and the large hare? Uh, was that seen on one of your morning ventures? Maybe a slight less sipping the night before would be a bit of a help. Do you think?

Honestly dear ones, I don't know why anyone bothers with the Europe or the US Boards. If they only knew what they were missing by not visiting the Oz Board.

Cheers to all of you! And thanks for all the good chuckles, especially you Neil.

LoveItaly
We do have fun on this board - and it's free of dress-Nazis as well. We do expect you to dress - but who cares in what. And shoes - not even required in some areas.

You get to engage with the locals - and Neil! And some of us are normal! :P

Margo, we're supposed to be dressed??

Neil, was the kangaroo belting down your street driving a Holden V-8?

Your story about the wombat being arrested brought back a memory I have from long ago. Two neighbors in a small Idaho town were having a quarrel about one of the neighbors chickens making a lot of noise when the sun came up. The quarrel got so bad that the police were called and the chicken was arrested and jailed, charged with disturbing the peace. The owner was fined $50 and the chicken released into his custody.

Just when you think it can't get any stranger, Neil has to "one up himself" and come up with bolting 'roos and hares! I hardly know what to think! No wonder his wife has signed him up for a sausage making class...anything to get him OFF THE STREETS!

Personally, here in the states, I know that Martha Stewart is under house arrest, so I have no explanation for the very preppie pink and green llamas, and I will not rest until I have an explanation!

LoveItaly, you're so wrong, as is Neil..now more than ever, I want a t-shirt picture...I'm perverse in this way...just a glutton for punishment!

I agree with LoveItaly as to the Europe boards...poor deluded posters...on and on about where to go in Tuscany and no mention of multi-colored llamas, deranged hares, frozen chickens or felon wombats. So sad.

Melodie

Oh dear Melodie, I was thinking the same thing today, the Europe board consist of questions regarding the most fantastic romantic hotel in Rome for under $100.00 per night. Or the most wonderful Rome restaurant where tourist are never seen. Or - well you all get the general idea. Where to stay in the "real" Tucscany etc.

Meanwhile this Ausssie board has post that go waaaaaay beyond anyones imagination.

Falling chickens, lime green and pink baby llama (or whatever it was), kangaroos and large hares dashing down the main street, the white rabbit hanging around in the front garden at all times of the day and night, the chicken in Idaho that was arrested and thrown into jail for disturbing the peace (good grief I knew Idaho was strange but really!) and etc.

And Neil being mentioned on CNN - a shock that was!

And BTW, what in heavens name is a wombat, felon or not??? That needs to be explained to me.

Well with a father raised in OZ, I am use to shall we say "a wonderful and funny life". Oh dear dad, he would have love our Neil.

Now about being dressed, uhm am always dressed but Margo, I am usually without shoes when I am at the computer. Does that help me fit in? LOL.

Regarding the T-shirt, I am still willing, I know we would all love to contribute to the charity to Neil, perhaps a T-shirt plus the beer. I know that Alan and JohnInMiami can get things rolling. And in the meantime Neil's wife can uh "keep Neil busy at that sausage making class".

And again, what in heavens name is a wombat??????

Here you go, LoveItaly, courtesy of Google images...
condor.depaul.edu/~gandrus/ jpg/pics/wombat.jpg

Lee Ann

Hey Melodie

Here in the states we were really feeling safe and secure with Martha tucked away in jail and Ken Lay and Bernie Ebbers scooting in and out of the best restaurants. I mean how well do you need to know people in Washington to keep your butt out of jail after embezzling mlllions from the companies, the employees, and the stockholders! Cheech

But sad to say - Martha's now out there again - making our streets unsafe again!

Could be we'd be ahead of the game if we shipped a couple of our guys over to Canberra to let the llamas, frozen chickens, and Neil to deal with. Lol Neil!!!

Sorry, LN, right now we're having enough trouble processing our own corporate criminals, but they won't be put away for long. Send Bernie Ebbers to us and we'd give him a slap on the wrist and a year or two in a government health farm - but the lawyers will love you. I used to work for a telco and even at this distance I found his story laughably unbelievable - a CEO who just didn't notice that huge sums in key, easily identifiable operating expenses were being booked up to capital to disguise an operating loss? Come on!

We also have a long-running telco saga, the case of One.Tel, whose founders actually managed to convince the son-and-heirs of the Murdoch and Packer media empires to stump up many millions to shore up a company that was bleeding to death from a hundred self-inflicted wounds, including spending a small fortune on a feng shui consultant for the corporate HQ. Nobody felt too sorry for Rupert Murdoch and Kerry Packer, but their presence encouraged a lot of ordinary mug punters to invest in this turkey. And yes, in between ever more confusing court appearances the perpetrators are usually to be found living it up in the best restaurants.

I needed a break and came online--Neil, you get the laugh of the day! One of my good friends lives in Canberra so perhaps she can corroberate your (outlandish?) tale...or perhaps she can't.

At any rate, I'm in for $10 to put towards a pair of glasses (eye glasses, not beer, Neil) and a call to a good therapist!!!

OWJ, the fact that you know where to find a good therapist is a bit of a worry. As the old English saying goes, "All the world's mad save thee and me - and even thee's a little queer!"

Just to prove that stranger things than coloured llamas can happen on the other side of the Pacific - from the NY Times of Mar 19,

"Several Imax theaters, including some in science museums, are refusing to show movies that mention (evolution) - or the Big Bang or the geology of the earth..."

I give up - can't compete with that.

Dear LoveItaly.

Point me to that question about romantic hotels in Rome for under $100...I can answer it -- short answer, there aren't any! :) And the "real" Tuscany is anyplace someone hasn't written a book about!

Elendi has provided you with a link on wombats, so that should be cleared up now. I think they're my favorite Aussie critter...I find them adorable. Another term you'll hear for them is "ground bears" (as opposed to "drop bears", which I'm sure will be featured in Neil's NEXT posting)!

And, to the file of "More Information Than I Really Wanted to Know" you'll be astounded, I'm sure, to learn that the wombat "scat" is actually square. Yes, it's true. They are very fond of marking their territory on rocks, and "square" doesn't fall off...nature is an amazing thing, no?!

Regards,

Melodie
Certified Aussie Specialist

Neil,

Don't be too worried about me. That good therapist of mine has really turned me around. You should've seen me before.

Where were those IMAX theaters located? I'm guessing the Midwest and the Southern US. The school district next to where I live has been in the news b/c their HS science texts had a sticker disclaiming evolution!!!

OWJ

Melodie--square poop? I'd love to share that strange fact w/my students but how does one bring that into a conversation ;)

OWJ, the article did say that it's not a lot of Imax theatres so far and I think only in the South. What part of the country do you live in? The people who instituted free, public and secular education in the 19th century must be spinning in their graves, mustn't they?

After reading Melodie's story I hope nobody will think that multicoloured llamas in a city car park is odd. In the (possibly) unlikely) event that it's true, isn't that a great example of the workings of natural selection, beginning with the first wombat who by pure chance got a breeding edge from being born with a square anus?

On second thoughts, something seems wrong with this story ...

Neil--
I live in the Southeast, in a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia. As an educator, the suppression of ideas is utterly frightening and personally I think religion has no place in our public schools.

There is a club called "Fellowship of Christian Athletes", for example, that holds meetings in school one morning a week and is run by one of our teachers who receives a $ supplement. IMO, that is wrong! I have no issues with the club itself but it should be outside of school and run without school funds. Can you imagine a similar club for Jewish kids, Hindus or Muslims? Rather divisive, wouldn't you agree?

And as for square anus', I'm quite worried that after my rantings above some will think I have either a square one or one that's been sewn shut....
OWJ

Neil,

Is it possible this was merely a pink llama being dyed green for St Paddy's Day. After all, there is (ick)
green beer.

I wore green on the 17th, why shouldn't aussie-irish llamas?

AndrewDavid

Just when I thought you Americans had trumped us, I open up today's "Herald" and discover that the Australian government has come to the rescue. 30 refugees held in detention centres as suspected illegal immigrants are to have their cases reviewed ... on the grounds that they've converted to Christianity. This follows representations by religious-right members of parliament. I am NOT making this up.

AndrewDavid, your explanation makes perfect sense to me. Another possibility is that it was indeed an alpaca, bred to produce pink wool using a genetic modification process that was accidentally contaminated by tree frog genes. No doubt Pat will advise if any woolly and uncomfortably warm tree frogs are spotted in the jungles of Far North Queensland.

Hi Neil,
Sounds to me like someone was pre-empting the necessity for dyeing the shorn llama wool, or is setting a new trend of buying the wanted wool-colour 'on the hoof', thereby ensuring less likelihood of running out before finishing whatever the wool is being used for!
And as for kangas tearing down the road; when we were driving around Canberra in 1990, our driver was forced to plant foot on the brake as a couple of kangas decided to cut across our tracks less than a couple of metres away.
Have enjoyed a good chuckle, 'posters'.
Dot

dotty,just over 3 hours ago I was driving around the big road that circles Parliament House, having just passed the US Embassy, when four sizeable roos bounded across the road in front of me. I won't ever again be able to laugh at the legendary visitors who expect to see kangaroos hopping along the streets in Australian cities. Not in Canberra, anyway - the place is rife with the pests. Incidentally, they were grey.

This thread should go in the Fodors Hall of Fame!

To One Wandering Jew,

as to how to bring up this amazing fact about the wombats to students, or in polite conversation, I don't think I can really advise you.....

it's taken me 2 years and this forum to find the "right" venue to share that little tidbit!

Regards,

Melodie