Oh Mang, it goes without saying he was aroused. Who wouldn't be at the sight of a geriatric, pregnant stick-insect staring myopically up at you, splayed out on the floor, clad only in loose pajamas? At times in India, my friend, not even the pajamas.

Horrible.

I cruelly denied him his happy ending. He returned the compliment. I saw him later sobbing in the street. An hour with Dogster in pajamas does that to some people.

Remember trav, only us guys know of my secret nom-de-plume. So if he'd said 'I see you're having puppies' I'd have thought it rather strange. But I do like the sound of 'body dismorphia' - much better than 'fat'. 'Fat' and 'Dogster' are two words that have never before existed in the same sentence.

As for 'grossly distended', Mang - NOTHING about the Dog distends these days. Well, not grossly, anyway.

The only gross thing I keep stumbling across are these farang gentlemen 'of certain years' with a sweet Thai lass surgically attached to their wallet. There are a lot of them about. I look with an expression of perfect blankness. What is most interesting is that they are always looking at me, waiting for a reaction. They know. Deep in their hearts, they know...

But the moral acrobatics of that situation are quite beyond me. Who am I to deny anybody happiness? I simply object on aesthetic grounds. It's not a good look.

Of course, they're not ALL old. But they are almost all overweight, unattractive and inevitably twice the size of their companion. Which gives rise to boudoir visions I'd rather not entertain.

This all says more about me, I guess, than the people in question. Maybe, deep in my heart, 'there but for the grace of God, go I'. Maybe I'll move to Pattaya in my dotage with a gross of Viagra and a bar-full of dancing girls ... mmm - but maybe not. I'd still have to look in the mirror.

My idiotic 'unmanaged, somewhat random, jerking and weaving wandering' will have to suffice. There, WITH the grace of God, I will go. If the byproduct of that is an adventure I can share, my stumblebummery will be of some value. I'm fortunate to have found a Forum that lets me do just that.

Two more sleeps and I'm home.

Oh Dogster your description of the farang gentlemen is perfect! How often have I caught myself staring at them in what I am sure is a totally blank way......
What day do you actually arrive back in Melb? We may be landing the same day. I will look out for you! J

FANTASTIC !!!

referring to patricia's (BH) pics...

rhkkmk - LOL. The placement of your comment right beneath Jules' is so funny. I then noticed the IMMEDITATE (note the time) addendum!

Oh, and Dogster BTW, might be time for you to take a break from these massages you've been getting! :D

Welcome back Dogster - get yourself of to the vet soon and have that hind leg sorted out. Can't have a wonky dog wandering around Melbourne.

Looking forward to all the new stories you are due to give us - rest the leg and use the fingers for a bit.

Welcome back ma-a-s-a-a-y just be a little premature. Heh. We'll see.

So where are you? Still in Bangkok I gather - just looking at the dates on your posts - I've been away from here for a couple of days and thought you must be on the way home by now!!!

Where ever you are have fun and take care - if those are compatible ideas.

BostonHarbor...great photos. Did you seen the gladiator show? Jordan greatly exceeded my expectations. And your photos prove it.

Yup Mary, Bangkok. Centala Gland at Centlal Worrrrd. Just me and seventy restaurants.

I was going home tomorrow but today I had 'A Sign'.

I was lurching along the covered walkway from Central World to Siam Paragon at six o'clock, peak hour, this evening. As you know, my paw is hurting so I stop and take breaks at strategic intervals. This comfort stop was just above a busy intersection staffed with four traffic policemen, clad in luminous pink reflective jackets, each with a golden Thai crown on their chests. And a hat. And those tight trousers that policemen seem to like.

One had white opera gloves on. The gloves reached right up to his shoulders and seemed connected to his crisp white shirt. Quite why he was wearing opera gloves, I don't really know.

I stood looking down at them from way up high, watching as they stood fearless in the traffic, directing the flow. Opera gloves was doing all the work - but, in the midst of the carnage, he FELT Dogster. With a wave of his white glove he halted the one million cars and stared up at me. I wiggled my head. He smiled. I smiled back. I didn't know whether that was a gun in his holster or he was just pleased to see me.

Then, in the middle of the road, he snapped to attention and saluted. I returned the salute. His companions looked up at the walkway. Before I knew it, I had four pink traffic policemen in a row smiling broadly, all saluting.

I knew this was 'A Sign'.

The owner of a certain very small establishment in a certain city in S.E.Asia responded with alacrity to my sudden E-mail enquiry, hurling upgrades, cut rates and a free night at me.

This was the Second Sign.

Bangkok Airways has an amazingly cheap return flight to this certain destination.

This was the Third Sign.

A certain restaurant in this certain city, despite nightly attempts at failure, is still operating.

This is more a miracle than a sign.

So, once again, Dog has fallen into that gap between intention and execution. The 'unmanaged, random jerking and weaving' continues...

So swing around three times in that red leather chair, Boston - raise a cup of your favorite beverage and click the heels of those ruby slippers. Dogster ain't in India anymore.

He's Swimming to Cambodia.

Wow you just cannot ignor those signs!!!!!!!!!!!!J

LMAO. Sounds like you had an extra special moment with the police officer, Dogster. I was almost getting aroused by your story(and I'm totally straight). I remember there used to be a website with tons of photos of buff-looking Thai policemen- It's pretty hilarious knowing there are people with this type of fetish. So the question begs to be asked: Was the Dogster packing a piece that day too?

Glad you're having fun..

Ah, Bangkok! The city of signs.

And, I'll bet that tightly-clad, opera-gloved police officer also had his very important WHISTLE. Don't you just LOVE the way they all get a feeling of power when they blow those whistles? lol

DS made it home yesterday, dog, so you won't be running into him anytime soon. Too bad.

Enjoy your travels!! Must be nice to be away for soooo long.

Carol

So, is Asia so attractive? Or is Melbourne so UNattractive? Or is it just the thought of sitting down and writing something? (lol!)

We assume its the doggie paddle that is propelling you to Cambodia.

Oh well done - you really shouldn't miss that. You did say you needed to go before so I guess something special is dragging you there.

Look after the paw and eat well!

Mang: you are a tremendously rude old man. lol. But I'm pleased I [nearly] turned you on - if you're anything like me, such moments are few and far between. It truly hadn't occurred to me that Thai policemen are the object of sexual fantasy - but now that I come to think of it...

Perhaps that was what inspired me and I didn't even know! I'll have to examine my secret thoughts. Maybe that website will turn the tables...

thursday hit the nail on the head. No, it's not the thought of writing something - quite the reverse. I found the Bamboo Room very conducive to my thespian activities last August.

[For those wondering what I'm talking about, go here:]http://www.hotelbeangkor.com/

and here:
http://www.fodors.com/community/asia...-siem-reap.cfm

Buit the reality is certainly that Melbourne is a great deal LESS attractive than... well, almost anywhere I can think of. A friend of mine once referred to it as 'Bleak City'. He was right [although thoroughly pilloried in the press for saying so]. So, once again, your intuition is correct.

I think, thursday, that you are a very wise woman.

As for whether something special is dragging me, Mary - dunno. We'll see.

Icy cold coconut juice for breakfast, a million lotus flowers arranged around my room, a build-up of wax in my ears, a rather good gaspachio just out the front door, the remarkable 'Samot' - teetering on the edge of nightly implosion, my friend the armless book-seller, the prospect of having my feet nibbled by piranhas in the market, the occasional company of one Mr. Dishman, host of Hotel Be, the expat life of Siem Reap [which is a lot different from the expat life of Pattaya], the daily prospect of a zoom to Angkor Wat... ahhh, that's Siem Reap.

And a lot more. Maybe I'll do a 'Live from... ' post again.

That gets me in the writing mood.