Wannabe female solo traveller seeking reassurance
 

Hi all
I first posted this on travel tips and ideas, but realised it was better to post it to the Destination forum.

After lurking around this forum for many months now, I find it almost embarrassing to write this post. I have read numerous trip reports on here and hopefully one day I can contribute one of my own.

But before I can do that, I need to overcome this reluctance (more like fear, tbh) to travel solo. I have previously traveled 'alone' in my mid to late 20s, but not the kind you would put in the solo travel basket. I lived in Dubai with a family member for six months where I had to go out on my own and meet people. I did a study abroad program for 9 months in the UK and I spent a month in the US - 5 days alone in NY and a tour group for the rest of the time. The common elements to all these trips were that I spoke the local language and felt a sense of security for some reason. And they were all quite successful.

But now I want to really want to do the solo thing, and I have a strong desire to visit SEA (Vietnam, Thailand, Laos and Cambodia), India and Sri Lanka. But I constantly find myself worrying about taking such a trip.

My concerns:

Living in a hostel: 2015/16 will be my year for travel. However, I'm in my (early-ish) 30s now and have never stayed in a hostel which I imagine is filled with young, loud, extroverted people. I am shy and introverted and struggle to initiate conversation with strangers so I imagine it would all be very overwhelming. I guess I am looking to hear stories from people like me and how they coped. Are there any other budget options in these countries where I would meet people who are not into just drinking and partying and who are traveling to learn about the culture (apologies for sounding like a snob, or an introvert, whichever way you want to look at it)?

Security: I guess this stems from the fact that I would not know the local language, but I worry about safety for female solo travelers, particularly in India (sorry if I am jumping on the fear-mongering bandwagon).

Using public transport: I guess I'm not referring to short trips but more about the long term/over night journeys as I would love to explore, especially going off the beaten track. Is it safe to go off the beaten track if traveling solo? How do i stay safe if i do?

Like i said, writing this is a bit embarrassing because it seems like for many of the regulars here, traveling solo is like second nature. Where would you recommend I start to get over the initial nerves? Apologies for rambling on. Any advice would be appreciated :)

I would suggest splitting this into at least two trips. SEA is very easy traveling, and you should find little language difficulty. India is graduate level travel, save it for when you feel more comfortable traveling solo, or even tackle it with a small group tour company like Intrepid.

I do not do hostels - of course I am much older - because I dislike sharing bedrooms with random strangers - although I am fine with assigned room mates on tours. However, you will find few hostels in these countries in any case, instead look for cheaper hotels. Any Lonely Planet or Rough Guide will clue you in on the right area of town to meet travelers - although do avoid KSR in Bangkok!

How long a trip? I once spent three months traveling through Singapore, Malaysia, Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia, with a few days in Thailand, and could easily have spent longer.

Hi,

As an introverted femail currently in Cambodia after exploring Thailand and Laos - definitely go!!

I can only speak for Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, but here is my experience:

For hostels, if you do your research you can usually suss out quieter non-partier hostels in most places. Tripadvisor and booking.com are great resources. Also, opting to stay in a 4-6 person dorm and opting for all female dorm tend to attract more mature travellers. If you can't find any hostels that seem nice enough, staying in a private room in a guesthouse isn't that expensive by western standards, often only a couple dollars more than a dorm bed. and it's possible to meet people by doing tours and activities, though harder. I've stayed almost entirely in very clean hostels that are generally pretty quiet. A couple of times I've roomed with loud obnoxious guys, but you can easily change roomsr hostels if need be and nobody spends much time in the room anyway. Ive stayed in rooms with men and women of all ages, even some grandmas. Hostels skew toward twenty-somethings but there are definitely tons of 30+ people as well. It's nice to have a chat with fellow travellers over breakfast or grab a drink together, but I also have been able to spend tons of intorverted alone time in shared hostel rooms and while out exploring.

I have also felt perfectly safe everywhere I have been so far.

I've taken buses and minibuses with no problem whatsoever but opted to pay a bit more to fly between some locations due to horror stories. It's not a safety issue so much as a comfort issue from the stories i've heard in the countries I've been.

There are a bajillion solo female travellers around the countries i've been in! You should absolutely do it.

I can't beleive I spelled "female" wrong haha, sorry for not proofreading!

You're in the adult version of "tween", a little reluctant to mingle with 20-something party animals and a little young for a guided tour with seniors. The biggest challenge when travelling alone is loneliness, for me as a male too. My solution is to take walking tours, guided day tours, or any other short-term activity which presents a fairly captive group to strike up conversations.
As for accommodation, in Vietnam the flood of privately-operated small hotels offers nice places at a third of the price of North America or Western Europe. Enjoy the bargains. I guarantee the friendly Vietnamese staff will make you feel more like a family guest than just a client. And I take some sort of device to connect to the Internet so I can e-mail friends, do last-minute research, and generally stay in touch just as I do at home.

Thanks for all the replies, they have been really helpful. It's good to know that there are alternatives to to hard partying hostels.

Thursdayd: I'd be looking to travel for approx. three months. Also, I am hoping to incorporate more travel into my life meaning, if things go according to my imagination, there will be a few more trips over the years. I also agree with you about India - I will opt for a tour group etc when visiting the country. Do you know much about solo travel in Sri Lanka?

travelmiss: Thank you so much. You have been really helpful. I think a combination of hostel and hotel/guestroom might be what I'm looking for. DO you have any recommendations for hostels that you liked? How long have you been travelling for? I do like the idea of chatting to fellow travellers and picking their brain on things to do and not to do, I just don't want to spend every waking minute with them. Honestly, I'm a bit of a non-drinker and these types of social gatherings are always a challenge for me because I can't simply just join in!

Southam: thank you, I definitely feel like the awkward tween of the travel world. And given Vietnam is at the top of my list, you response is appreciated :)

Three months is great for SEA. You might find my 2002 three month trip interesting, although back then I was still using tour groups part of the time: http://wilhelmswords.com/asia2002/index.html

I did Sri Lanka on my own, but I had a car and driver for that trip. Click on my name for the TR.

BTW, did you read the solo trip report thread on the Travel Tips board?

Responded on the other thread with general tips.

I wouldn't hesitate to visit Sri Lanka on my own, though I would hire a car and driver for the trip.

Places like Thailand, Laos, Cambodia are very easy on your own. I'd look for inexpensive guesthouses rather than hostels.

Thanks guys. Guesthouses seems to be the way I'll consider going. And I'll save India for another.

Thursdaysd, I've slowly been going through your blog. Great stuff! Thank you for pointing me to it :)

Glad you're enjoying it! You might like mytimetotravel.wordpress.com as well.

In Laos and Cambodia you can find very comfortable guesthouses with your own shower, toilet and air con for around $20US.

Hostel breakfast is my favorite way to meet people!! I really liked one stop hostel in cambodia - they have a few locations. I stayed in a 6 bed female dorm in siem reap and felt the location and level of socialization was perfect - always people to chat with over breakfast and a sign up board for shared tours, but quiet at night with no party craziness. I was one of the youngest in my room over the week at 24 y/old.

At cloudy hostel in bangkok it was extremely quiet, luxurious, and the staff were great. I was definitely the youngest traveller I met there and nobody was there to party. Avoid khao san road to avoid that kind of traveller.

Generally, I've felt safer in hostels than in guest houses becaue there is usually 24 hour reception and people around. Guesthouses are less likely to advertise online and so you might be better just showing up and finidng one if you prefer that to hostels and don't see anything online. In chiang mai, I saw the attrocious quality of a guesthouse for $12 a night vs a hostel bed for $6 a night and the hostel was infinitely better, clean, friendly, no late night craziness - so you may have to pay significantly more than a hostel for air-con, cleanliness, etc. I also like private rooms in hostels where available so there are still people around but they dont wake you up.

Travelmiss: thank you for your response. I'll certainly look into these hostels :)

As a Sri Lankan female who loves to travel, I don't think you will have any trouble making your way through the island. Most of us speak English (not full-on Queen's English but enough to get by) so you won't have trouble communicating with the locals.
If you're not too worried about time, then public transport (buses/rail) will give you the chance to view the country in the way Sri Lankans do but it will take a lot longer than is usually stated on the schedule. If not, car/driver is the best option to spend time effectively.
There are hostels advertised on booking.com and agoda that you can check out but guest houses are a good option as well. The prices are not too bad and you get all the privacy (plus your own bathroom!! WIN!)

Please do go! If you don't like where you are, go somewhere else. If you don't like the experience at all, go home. In the end you know that you tried without regrets.

I'm in a similar situation where I'm finally taking a long solo trip and it'll be a first time in a hostel. I start my trip next week. :)

If there's time and you have the funds go somewhere on your own to get a feel for it. I did a couple weekend trips and a 10 day trip abroad.



Also-- Make an appointment with your doctor to go over your travel plans and start getting the proper vaccines.