cherylcd

I have posted about my trip to Rajasthan which I thoroughly enjoyed. I now want to go back and do a spiritual journey through parts of India. I would like to visit some temples and mosques as well as spend a few days at an ashram for some meditation. Any suggestions form anyone. I am looking to go in February or first part of March 2010. I will be doing this solo as my husband is not interested in going back for this. I would be interested in joining a group or anyone who is interested. All comments welcomed.
Thanks

dogster

Hi cheryl: I'm not entirely sure a couple of days at an ashram will get much more than a sore back from sitting in an uncomfortable position - but I certainly applaud the idea.

Have you ever practiced meditation? As I'm sure you know, it ain't something you'll pick up in a couple of days. As I'm sure you also know, meditation doesn't actually require you to be ANYWHERE... it simply requires you to BE. Actually, you can do that at home. If you have to go somewhere 'spiritual' to meditate then there's actually something completely wrong with your methodology. Start again.

But that's not the point of this question.

I will say this up front - exercise some caution. The spiritual salvation industry in India is geared to people just like you. That said, to spend time in the preeence of any man, woman or child who has found their grace is a unique experience. First you have to find them. Then you have to believe.

You may find, IF you stumble across the right person, that they send you away, telling you to work out WHY you need a spiritual journey in the first place, then come back in a few years. There ain't no quick fixes for a lost soul. If they welcome you in with open arms... caution.

I don't think you can schedule enlightenment. If you could, I would've booked an appointment years ago.

There are, however, tons of New Age kinda limpy, massagey, touchy-feely joints around where you can pay through the nose for spa-salvation. The more you pay, the more saved you will be.

Down market, you'll find youself sleeping on a mat on the floor, washing in freezing water and spending hours listening to some loon mumbling in front of a microphone. You will, apparently, transcend this and return home uplifted. Or not.

I'm not going to recommend anything.

You want a spiritual journey? Well, the journey starts right here... YOU have to find where to go - and you probably won't find it in an internet chat room. Ashram advice is not appropriate. It's not like comparing the Taj to the Oberoi. One man's guru is another man's fake.

But I think, if I'm reading correctly, that your needs may be a little less extreme. There are a number of yoga based trips and tours, full of time for mediation and deep breathing, general soul cleansing without the doctrine. Maybe this is a better option. Mostly you just settle down in one cool hotel, take classes, do lovely temple touring with lovely like-minded people, eat great food and approach the whole thing in a thoroughly Western, cod-mystical way. Which is perfectly cool by me.

Is this more what you're after? The more you can define what you want, the better chance of finding it. You have to pose the question before can get an answer.

So go stand in front of a mirror. Ask your REAL guru what to do.

And if this all sounds like hippy-gobbledegook, that ain't nuttin' to what you're going to hear in India.

cherylcd

Ouch!!! that really hurt...I am fully aware of being able to meditate anywhere, anytime etc. that is not my full purpose for going back. I am aware of the scams that can occur anywhere not only in India but rigth here isn the good ole USA. I lost a child-20yr son about a year ago very unexpectedly. While I was in India I found a peace about coming to terms with his loss that I have not found here-where I am. Maybe a spiritual journey is not the correct term for what I want. I am not interested in going to sleep on a hard floor, wash in cold water etc. in an ashram and sitting in an uncomfortable position for hours on end. I didn't do that while I was there on my first trip and true I could stay right here in the states and get all that I want. That's not the point. I want to recapture the peace that I felt. I can't get that feeling here-where I am no matter how hard I try, no matter how long I stare in the mirror and look at my REAL Guru. Unless you have been in my shoes you have no idea how I feel or what I need to come to terms with this profound loss in my life. SO before you crucify me and make snide remarks, walk a mile in my moccasins...only then will YOU understand

Kathie

Cheryl, I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like what you need is time to be alone with yourself in a setting that doesn't remind you of your loss. If you felt that peace in India, I can imagine why you want to return there.

Do you know what kinds of things in India helped you feel that peace? That can help you know what you need on this trip. I know people who have found peace in Varanasi, the Indian city of the dead. Is that what you need? Or do you need a place - any place - that can offer you silence and solace and comfort? Plenty of people take "alone" journeys to help them come to terms with a major loss. You do need to look inside to discover what you need on the journey... you already have some ideas, stick with it.

dogster

cheryl - I'm not trying to bring you down at all. I'm sorry if you thought that. Do you think your reaction might have more to do with YOU than me? Snide? I don't think so. Read my reply again. I thought it was more acute than snide. Crucify? No, not at all - that has already happened. I can only base my reply on the information you give me. I still stand by all I said.

I do have to say, though, that you are not Robinson Crusoe in having to deal with profound loss. I'm sure you think right now that nobody could possibly understand how you feel... well, that's actually not true.

I'm not going to trade horror stories with you. I am 60, not 22, and like the rest of us in here, didn't get to this age without a few million tears. So, please, don't play that 'walk a mile in my moccasins' crap with me. I don't appreciate it.

I know just a little about grief - so let me be straight with you. Nothing is gonna help you. Only time. Your terrible wound is still raw. The best you can do at this moment is divert. India is a great diversion - but if you come here wounded, you won't go back healed. I'm in Kolkata right now.

What you NEED, it seems to me, is a break from that relentless weight, a respite from the hourly, daily reminders of before. What is positive is that you have identified your need and feel strong enough to do something about it. I'm sure now that we have moved into this new zone of clarity some good options will emerge.

Although just how you imagine a group of total strangers can help you come to terms with your grief via a travel forum is quite beyond me. Let's see what ensues.

I suppose you'll think this reply is equally cruel, but that is not the intention. It's based on experience. Sooky, touchy-feely, 'poor you' will merely extend your pain. Straight talk can work wonders - if you're not ready yet to hear it, well, that's fine. You'll get there.

cherylcd

Dogster I only ask for suggestions. Nothing more nothing less. Whether I decide to go with a group of strangers or by myself is for me to decide not you to judge. No my reactions have to do soley with you. Yes I perceive your comments as rude and perhaps that is you I don't know I can only assume based on your responses to me and as you I don't appreciate your crass comments. By the way I am 50 not 22. Within a year I lost my father and my son but Im not here looking for pity only suggestions. You have given yours and thank you. Please with all due respect do not respond to me anymore.

cherylcd

Kathie,
Thanks for the suggestions. Yes I have looked into Varanasi and it is one of my possibilities!!

Craig

Cheryl - dogster is well-respected on this board and has insights well beyond what most travelers can offer. He does not judge - he can be crass at times but I can assure you his feedback is completely in your interests. Keep an open mind. He actually "gets it". I sympathize with your situation. While I have not been through it, I feel your pain. I hope you can plan a trip that is therapeutic for you. Just don't blow off those who are truly trying to help you because of their directness. We all need a little bit of forced reality from time to time.

Kathie

cheryl, I agree with Craig that dogster is trying to be helpful, but I understand that his comments feel like battering to you right now. Perhaps at another time reading what he has said will give you a different perspective.

Dogster mentions time as a great healer. Indeed, it is. But you've had a year and you are still deep in grief. So what else do you need?

The experience of being in the here and now, totally present, not preoccupied with the past nor worrying about the future is a great healer. I think that's why travel - especially to an intensely unfamiliar place - can be so helpful. It magnetically pulls us into the present. People talk about being "in the zone" when they travel. That's often what they mean. Is that something you experienced when you were in India?

If I were considering a journey to help myself heal from a major loss, one of the questions I'd be asking myself is whether I need silence to be able to hear my own thoughts and feelings (a trip where the destination is doing "nothing) or whether I need a trip of intense experiences to jolt me into the present - into feeling alive again. Over the course of your healing, you will need both of those experiences, but the question to answer is what do you need now?

Jaya

Cheryl, I think Dogster's reply was appropriate advice and I still concur that the spiritual business in India is rife with scams.

Try Ananda Spa in Rishikesh. It's an elegant Aveda spa in a peaceful, stunning location north of Delhi. A little on the pricey side, but very reputable.

Mango7

Cheryl- Try to look at Dogster's suggestions positively. You eventually see that he has your best interests in mind. He makes some very good points.

Time is the great healer, but ask yourself: Would your son want you to go through the hell you're putting yourself through over him? I would think not. He'd probably want you to remember the great times you both had together and to be happy.
Nobody really knows what what happens after we leave our earthly domain, but I am a firm believer we will once again see our passed loved ones. So please cheer up like your son would want you to and let your grief go. Its not doing either of you any good. Take care.

Becalm

If you are truly drawn to return to India, trust your gut - there is a reason - whatever it is.

This organization is the "real deal" http://yssofindia.org/index.php?flg=9 It may or may not be for you. They have retreats here in the States also www.yogananda-srf.org
See if it resonates with you Cheryl.
You may want to start by reading "Autobiography of a Yogi" and see what you feel about it.

As Dogster implied, the true peace you seek lies within. If it takes a trip to India to find it - so be it.

We wish you well. Let us know where your search takes you. We care. yeah.... even that sometimes crass rascal with the poor bedside manner, Dogster. In his own way, he was trying to protect you from those who prey on the vulnerable.

peace

marya_

Cheryl,

I am so very sorry to read of the unimaginably terrible loss of your son. My heart goes out to you. I also give you a great deal of credit for thinking creatively about ways to move forward. Travel can play a great role in the process of self discovery and in the process of healing. All best wishes.

Cicerone

My suggestion would be that you pick a small city, and get to know that area and its people. You may, as I do, just get a sense of joy and peace spending time in small villages in India. Visit local temples, mosques and churces, and to the extent information is available, read up on them. Once you feel a bit comfortable there, you can start asking locals for their recommendations for local healers. Religion in India is a profound part of the culture in a way in which I don’t think non-Indians fully grasp, and in my expereince within any small city (or even village) there are dozens, if not hundreds, of local healers, study centers, temples dedicated to a miracle which occurred there, etc.

I don’t think it is a matter of finding something now on a website. I don’t think it is a matter of going someplace expecting to be healed, or having a set itinerary for what is to be an inner spiritual journey; both of which I think you sense from the fact that you <i>unexpectedly</i> found a sense of peace when you went to India. I also don’t know that meditation is even going to be part of your healing process. It may be something entirely different.

You might consider going someplace in Rajasthan where you last felt that sense of peace and spending more time there to see if it returns. After an initial hotel stay, you could look into renting accommodation for a longer term. This again can usually be accomplished by asking around (hotel staff can be a good source for this).

I think Varanasi would be a good choice. My other suggestion would be Rishikesh, which is mentioned above. It is on a much smaller scale than Varanasi, and has numerous ashrams along its river bank. The Ananda would certainly be an excellent choice (see http://www.anandaspa.com/), not sure if that is in your budget for a longer term; I would also look at the Alistair Sawday book (<i>Special Places to Stay India</i> http://sawdays.co.uk/, click on the book for India) and at Neemrana hotels which has one or more hotels there (see http://www.neemranahotels.com.). There is also a charity organization there called Ramana’s Garden run by an American woman who works with orphans and poor women; you may find visiting the orphanage, or even volunteering there, in combination with visits or stays at ashrams, to be a rewarding experience. See http://www.sayyesnow.org/ (The orphanage has an amazing children’s dance troupe which performs at Ananda, which is how I found out about them. The woman who runs it is a force of nature I will say, an amazing spirit.)

You might consider Dharamsala which is the Dalai Lama’s headquarters in India. I don’t know how often he is there, but you can visit the headquarters and there are numerous meditation centres in town.

There are of course famous ashrams like the OSHO Asrham in Pune or Amma’s ashram in Kerala where the guru is known for her healing hugs. In Bangalore, there is the Whitefield Ashram, and the ISKCON (International Society for Krishna Consciousness). All of these offer meditation courses, and provide meals and accommodation (and their own websites, see for example http://www.amritapuri.org/ and http://www.osho.com/) I am not sure if such a large-scale experience is what you are looking for.

dogster

Having shot the messenger, she's taken her bat and ball and gone home. Click on her name.

I fear the splendid advice, attention, compassion and empathy above has fallen either on deaf ears - or no ears at all. Probably not much point in adding any more - Elvis has left the building.

Mango7

How about ears that only believe what they want to.

Jaya

Clicked her name and it took me to a page I've never seen before. She's gone, vaporized! I didn't know you could do that to your account.

Just us regulars here again. I'll have a drink for each of you (although not necessarily all in the same day)!

mohan

Dear cherylcd: My heart goes out to you. I do have an American friend who has been going to an ashram near Bangalore for the last twenty years. She and her friends all said it was a life-changing expereince. I was drawn to this person in yoga class because she seems to be more calm and peaceful than most and her energy is different from everyone else. If you are interested, I can get the information for you. Feel free to email me at mohaan@earthlinkdotnet subject ashram. Everyone will have an opinion and think his is king, I wouldn't pay too much attention if i were you. Follow your heart and concentrate on your own journey. May peace be with you.

Jaya

Mohan, the OP has disabled her account so she probably won't see your response.