Reflection on a Fortnight in Bangkok and Phuket: A Trip Report
 

Wrapping the first few days of this report up, I realize that my prose tends to run a bit long, making it somewhat unsuitable for this board. However undeterred, I have decided to place my report up in ?installments,? allowing Fodorites a chance to read my experiences and observations in chunks rather than be flooded with it up front. Today, I will begin with my administrative groundwork piece, which will be followed by seven other installments as I try and condense two-weeks worth of fun into a manageable volume, all culminating, I hope, in our 300 plus picture diary being posted on line as well. It is a lot of work, not to mention the post I return to after a two-week absence, but if I don?t do it now, chances are, it won?t get done! So as they say, on with the show?.

As the world was celebrating the over commercialization of Valentine?s Day my wife and I were touching down at JFK, concluding a two week journey that took us from the traffic clogged streets of Bangkok to the tranquility of the Andaman Sea. Overall, the excursion was a complete success, rolling up an amazing culture, cuisine and language into one unforgettable package. This is not to say the trip went off hitch-free, far from it, all of which will be detailed in the tome I am sure this report will become.

But first, the administrative issues must be addressed, hopefully providing Fodorites with a modicum of assistance in their Thailand trip planning, returning in some small way the wealth of information I so graciously received prior to my trip. Being as budget conscience as my wife and I are, we turned to Gate1 Travel for a low cost option to the Far East, a requisition they fulfilled to a T. The basis of our two-week outing was Gate1?s ?Best Buy Bangkok? jaunt. This basic package rolled up roundtrip airfare from New York, five nights hotel accommodation, transfers to and from the airport and a couple of guided tours thrown in for extra measure all for $942 per person. Having sworn off package tours, I saw this as an excellent way to piggy-back off of the masses while still allowing my wife, the lovely LaNita, and I the freedom we enjoy when traveling abroad. In short, once we got to Bangkok, we ditched the tours in lieu of my own itinerary.

Of course, being budget conscience and wanderlustful does have its drawbacks, most notably being put up in a hotel that is some distance from anything of note. This was personified in the Amari Atrium, our room for the duration of the Bangkok trip. Overall, the lodge was very clean, the amenities well received and the staff overtly friendly and attentive to keeping the riff raff out. However, as we were to discover, reaching the Bangkok of tourist fame would require at least an hour in a taxi (due entirely to the perpetual state of gridlock that ails the so-called ?City of Angels.?) as the Skytrain was not within easy walking distance and the khlong to the aft of the hotel was repeatedly described to us as ?only for Thai people,? despite my assurance that I wanted to see how ordinary Thai people lived and would immensely enjoy plying down, what was described to us, ?the smelly, polluted river.? In the end, transportation was cab exclusive for us, a ride that always seemed to cost 100 Baht with the meter (roughly $2.50USD), even though the traffic would vary considerably. Others have raised issue with the accommodations, citing ?rock hard beds? and ?noisy plumbing.? Our room on the fifth floor had both of these problems, the bed being comparable to a slab of concrete and our neighbors toiletry habits, unfortunately, public with every flush, yet we were so exhausted at the end of each day, neither kept us from a decent night?s rest.

We also deviated from course with a decision to add some time in Thailand even after the tour reached an end. Being our first trip to the former nation of Siam, and seeing as how New York in February can only be described as ?frigid,? we decided that an extra week in the Indian Ocean warmed waters of Phuket would be in order. To this Gate1 was more than accommodating, arranging our inter-Thailand airfare and an extra night at the airport hotel on our return ? necessitated by the international flight schedule. While they also were more than happy to provide us a selection of hotels for our time on the Pearl of the Andaman Sea, we had our gaze fixed squarely on Le Meridien?s Phuket Beach Resort and the price Gate1 was offering for that option ($300/night) was more than the chain was offering on its Web site ($220/night), which was more than I eventually got it for on my own through BestHotel.com ($162/night), so I politely declined their assistance in the matter.

Le Meridien?s accommodations were superb, and the time LaNita and I spent there were both relaxing and enjoyable. While we definitely wanted this hotel due to rave reviews we had received from friends across the globe, we were not in a mind to spend for any bells-or-whistles, so we opted for a ?mountain view? room, rather than the ubiquitous ?ocean view? observation selection. As it turns out, the view was far more attractive than I had imagined, and LaNita even commented on our last evening there that she would ?miss this view,? since it was so ?tropical and comforting.? In addition to the wonderful feel we had with our abode, the staff at the hotel was enormously friendly and helpful and the restaurant selections, while pricey for the island, were top notch. The only complaint we had came at billing time, when we noticed a ?service charge? of 600 Baht a day on top of a daily tax of 14.7%. As of yet, I am not sure what that charge went for, seeing as how a service of 10% was included in every expenditure we ran up during the course of our stay. In the end, it was only a minor sticking point, mentioned only so that others can be aware, and does not change my high recommendation for this place on the whole.

As for Gate1, overall, I rate this troupe very highly for providing just enough assistance to get us to Thailand and back and would recommend their services to anyone traveling on a budget, with one caveat. We previously traveled with them to Prague over Thanksgiving, and while the airfare and accommodations we more than suitable, we found their optional excursions overpriced and poorly planned. In my opinion, it is best to stick with them for their basic packages and do any option expeditions that grill your cheese on your own volition.

Tune in tomorrow as I proceed with the real meat-and-potatoes of the trip.

nice start..looking forward to more....why didn't you choose a hotel slightly more expensive in bkk?? didn't they offer one?? i stayed in the royal river some years ago on a northwest package, much like your package and it was very nice for the price...no complaints except for a very small pool...this was the base hotel and there were at least 5 better choices...

where did they purt you in prague?? i also was there at thanksgiving and we stayed at the savoy, booked through priceline...5*--great deal

rhkkmk,

To answer you questions first before I proceed.

In retrospect, I wish we had opted for a more expensive, and thus better located, hotel options. There were plenty of other choices that no doubt would have been better for us. However, and this is a lesson I take away for next time, at the time of booking the vacation, I was not familiar with Bangkok's layout and had no idea that the Atrium would be so inconvenient. As they say, you live and you learn.

As for you Eastern European excursion, we stayed at the Movenpick in the Andel blue-collar neighborhood. The uber-smart hotel was a bit out of the way for central Prague, but by being within walking distance to the Czech capital?s super-efficient metro system, it proved to be a reasonable selection for the budget conscience (and at $399/person for that trip including roundtrip airfare and five nights accommodation, I was not complaining).

And with no further adieu, up, up and away we go!

Day One

Every odyssey must being somewhere, and for us the first step was taken into the maelstrom that is check-in at the international departure wing of JFK airport. I am not for sure why it surprised me that this process was so chaotic, but even for JFK this was unacceptable. The minute we walked into the terminal, we had to produce our passports and tickets, which I was unprepared for and thus was scolded by the East Indian woman in charge of the procedure. I did not appreciate this harsh treatment one bit given that I am an accommodating traveler, respecting authority at all turns and had done nothing wrong outside of showing up without documentation in hand. From this we proceeded to a ?line,? perhaps large jamboree of people would be more appropriate, to scan all of our baggage before we were finally allowed to check in. All of this, mind you, occurred in the 15 feet between the doors and the x-ray machines, and with people checking into trans-Pacific flights, an aggregate notorious for bringing the absolute maximum allotted luggage, so space was at a premium.

This only further enhanced my trepidation about our carrier, China Airlines, with whom I had no previous experience, but people had thrown up a bevy of warning flares about. However, a ray of sunshine flooded an otherwise cloudy day when I first set foot on the new Airbus 340 that was to be our stead for the 19 hour voyage to Taipei, complete with personal entertainment units and seats that exceeded my expectations of lawn chairs stapled onto a fuselage. Once airborne, the flight crew was Johnny on the Spot with food and beverage service and the extremely long flight, infused with a stopover in Anchorage, was not nearly as painful as I had anticipated.

Once in Taipei, we had the pleasure of a three-hour stopover before continuing on for another four hours to Bangkok. Landing in Bangkok, I had to do a double take at what I thought was for sure a hallucination induced by copious quantities of caffeine and sleep deprivation; a golf course sandwiched between two tarmacs! This seemed a perplexing place to erect golf course, for untold number of reasons, but after LaNita confirmed my visualization, I realized the madness had not completely taken over. In total, we spent more than 24 hours in transit, which while providing ample opportunity for me to catch up on my recreational reading, took significant toll on our bodies, as can be expected.

Thankfully, clearing customs at Bangkok was rather uneventful, if not lengthy. Afterwards, we were met by a representative of Diethelm Travel, the company representing the interests of Gate1 in Thailand, who handled our luggage, whisked us into a taxi and hurried us away from the madness of the airport to the psychosis of Bangkok proper.

Once settled into the hotel, I adopted by usual overseas mantra of further depriving myself of sleep until a ?normal? bedtime, in a desperate attempt to experience as little jet lag as possible. LaNita, while wholeheartedly embracing the credo on the flight over, feel victim to the siren?s song of the bed and pillow and thus I was left to my own devices for a few hours. I took this opportunity to have a quick swim in the surprisingly pleasurable fifth floor terrace pool and to dine at the Mingles restaurant onsite, which we were provided welcome drink coupons for upon check in. Sadly, I had flown 9,000 miles and was unable to get Thai food at this establishment, opting for the only thing even remotely Thai on the menu: Thai tacos. I later found out that in order to get Thai vittles at the eatery you had to bring down the room service placard from your quarters and select Thai food options from that. Alas, I was stuck with Tex-Mex dinner selections accompanied by a sad sack trio brought in for our dinning enjoyment, all of which epitomized the ?Lost in Translation? syndrome I had begun to feel hanging out alone in a hotel bar. The welcome drink was yet another farce, as I ordered a beer, and was told that the drink coupon only applied to a tea of coffee. With that, I paid my bill, went back to the room and decided to call it a night. I had made it to 8:30.

In tomorrow's installment, Wat Po and lessons on not trusting anyone!

Keep'em coming. Having written an Installment trip report on this forum, I remember that lack of timely response gave me a feeling of sending the writings into the electronic void. rest assured that your posts are being recived by nearly sentient beings.

travelbear.

Upon learning of your plan to write a multi-installment trip report, I've gotta admit that I was more than apprehensive. Now that I've seen you're writing style, I can't wait for the the next one.

<i>was scolded by the East Indian woman in charge of the procedure. I did not appreciate this harsh treatment one bit given that I am an accommodating traveler</i>

When anticipating a return from virtually any country, my wife and I have come to brace ourselves for rudeness. The service industry in America is simply arrogant for the most part.

One quick anecdote about that in planning my trip to Thailand: After having booked airline reservations for about nine months, I was informed that the schedule had changed. Despite that the entire booking was done using either business or first class seating, the American Airlines clerk informed me that he had rebooked me on a flight that had neither. I said that was unacceptable because they were charging me for business class air miles. I kid you not that the conversation went as follows, beginning with the clerk:

&quot;They're the front seats on the airplane. Everyone on the airplane will still be behind you.&quot;

&quot;I'm going to do you a huge favor and pretend you didn't say that.&quot;

&quot;I didn't intend to be flippant.&quot;

&quot;For someone who didn't intend to be flippant you're doing one helluva a good job of being flippant. Find a way for me to make use of the upgrade air miles you're charging my account or get me a supervisor.&quot;

<i>my expectations of lawn chairs stapled onto a fuselage.</i>

If you tell me you're not a stand-up comic, I have no reason to believe you.

<i>Wat Po and lessons on not trusting anyone!</i>

After having read so much about the infamous scams at the major sites, I was kind of disappointed that all of them were the same. It seemed to me that the scam artists should express their individuality better by using more creativity. I was much relieved on the last day of my trip (Feb. 13) when I was told that the name of the World Trade Center had changed and that my helpful new-found friend would take me to the newly named building.

Day Two

My initial schedule for our first full day in Bangkok, which I had begun to flesh out soon after booking the trip in May, was thrown into flux the week before we embarked on the trip. The Big Cheese at my company, upon hearing that I was headed to Bangkok, thought it would be a great idea if I could do a bit of work while I was there. At first, I was completely against the notion of allowing my employer to invade my holiday, but after he began ponying up the money to pay for not only mine, but also LaNita?s, plane ticket, I acquiesced. What can I say, I am a complete money whore, and I saw it as a small price to pay ? what equated to half a day ? for having a substantial portion of my trip paid for.

Thus, my preliminary plan of taking the Ratanakosin Temples River Walking tour outlined in Lonely Planet?s Thailand, guidebook, would not have been feasible for the morning. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Since I had a bit of time prior to my meetings, and we were wide-awake at o? dark thirty, I found what I thought would be the highlight of the walking tour: Wat Pho.

We arrived at the doorstep of Wat Phra Chetuphon, as the Buddhist temple is know among the locals, shortly after 7:00 in the morning, a full hour until the complex officially swing open its doors to tourists. For this, I give thanks to one of the few honest cab drivers we had during our stay in Bangkok, a chatty sort that opted for the expressway ? at a cost of 40 Baht ($1.00) ? and alleviating at least half an hour?s worth of traffic congestion. So here we are, nothing is going to really open for another hour and I was on a time crunch, so we did what any intrepid independent tourist would do, we played dim-witted and went in regardless of the time. To be as respectful as possible, never mind the fact that we had already broken the rules, we decided not to enter any of the temples prior to 8:00 and confine our wandering to the grounds.

Standing alone, Wat Pho is an impressive site, with a list of superlatives as long the contemporary Thai name: Bangkok?s oldest and largest Buddhist house of worship, containing more and larger Buddha images than anywhere else in Thailand ? including the sizeable reclining Buddha of Murray Head fame ? not to mention the nerve center of the traditional Thai massage school. This grandeur was only magnified by the fact that we were the only farang ? the name bestowed upon Western visitors to Thailand ? in sight, able to enjoy an awe-inspiring sunrise on the ancient and hallow grounds. Perhaps most impressive to us was the architectural work employed at Wat Pho, the classic Thai combination of vihara and uposatha emphasized by a three-tiered pitched roof system, in addition to the extraordinary array of Buddha images. Sprinkled into the mix were the timeless images of Buddhist monks going about their daily business, all coalescing to make our first morning in Bangkok a memorable one, evidenced by the more than 100 images we captured on our Cannon Digital Elph camera at this site alone. As a note, this trip also marked the first time that we were to ?go digital,? the results of which we were delighted with as the trip drew to a conclusion.

As the clocks greeted 8:00, we were first in line to by tickets (read: I handed the ticket booth the 40 Baht for the two of us before he had a chance to open the register) to not only the grounds in general but also the 151 foot long reclining Buddha effigy, which was not open to non-Thais until 8:30. We patiently awaited the midpoint of the hour, giving us an opportunity to observe the convening of school on the temple site, a scene that conveyed the history of this spot, being the earliest center for public education in Thailand. Most rewarding to us though was that our promptness and patience was further rewarded by the temple guard, who allowed us into the shrine a full five minutes before any of the other non-Thais, of course that we continued to stare at him with a look of ?open, open, open? didn?t hurt matters. This granting us unfettered access to the reclining Buddha and its notable 49 foot high, mother-of-pearl inlayed feet. As we were leaving we could see the now growing crowd of tourists miffed at the image of us inside, while they were held at bay. Needless to say, being early paid off in this case, an idea we would carry with us throughout the rest of you time in Thailand.

The hour grew late, my appointments drew near, and so off we went back to the hotel, hiring a cab for the task. It was here that I first realized my Berlitz Thai-in-a-box course was going to fall short. Thankfully, the hotel was kind enough to provide us a card printed in Thai to give to cabbies to get us back to the hotel. But I was in a hurry ? an oxymoron in Bangkok ? and the card did not provide the appropriate translation for ?please take the Expressway as I am in a bit of a rush.? We tried everything to try and tell the driver that I was more than happy to pay the extra 40 Baht to get us to the hotel a bit faster: handing him 40 Baht up from, motioning with my hands to take the elevated highway, pointing to the word ?expressway? in a phrase on the notice hanging from the back of his seat, unrolling my Periplus map of Bangkok and pointing to turnpike all the while providing nods of approval ? all to no avail. All of our attempts were met with a smile, a horizontal shake of the head, and a shrug of the shoulders. So for the next hour and a half, the amount of time it took us to wind our way through the stopped up streets of the Thai capital, I searched frantically though my phrase book for the Thai equivalent to ?step on it,? which apparently the good folks at Berlitz do not think is an important phrase for travelers to Thailand learn (though ostensibly pom ja glap mar nai eek sip nar tee, I?ll be back in 10 minutes, is important enough for inclusion in the traveler?s vernacular).

After arriving, rushing into a suit and hurrying out the door, I was offered a foretaste that perhaps the hotel concierge?s agenda was not completely inline with the independent travelers?. I had a specific address I needed to be at, a precise time I needed to be there, and if this morning?s Thai language snafu was any indication, I was not sure I would be able to adequately tell a taxi driver where I needed to be, thus the need to enlisted the help of our hotel staff. I showed the concierge the address, and that I needed to be there in the next 30 minutes, to which he replied ?why you need to go there?? To me, my intents mattered not, mind you I am in a jacket and tie at this point indicating a business meeting, and I simply asked again if he could arrange a cab for transport. Nevertheless to him I must have had ulterior motives, as he asked me if the address was a jewelry store, in which case he could recommend another one that I might be ?more comfortable at.? My frustration level had reached its zenith and so in visible disgust, I took my address, went out to the bellhop and asked him politely to call me a cab for this address, a task he performed like a champ and was rewarded with a 100 Baht tip for his troubles.

The remainder of the day was rather uneventful, as business matters often are, and I?ll spare everyone the intricate details of the Thai government?s recent decision to tighten institutional money lending requirements in an effort to reduce Baht speculation. Through one theme that would remain throughout our stay in Bangkok introduced itself on my trio of cab rides around the Silom area; the Thai cab driver?s instinct to see farang in the vehicle and immediately direct the radio dial to the Western music station. At first, I thought the driver was simply surfing through channels and just happened to stop at the first one not advertising the latest greatest new thing on the market. But by the third time it happened, I realized this was being done for my ?benefit.? Try as I may, using the phrase ?Thai don tree dee,? roughly ?Thai music good,? I was only met with a smile, some unintelligible Thai phrase, and the radio left where it was. I will say this for the people of Thailand, they are friendly in their misunderstanding of my rudimentary Thai, even if it all just sounds like gibberish to them.

As I was ?working,? a term I use loosely given the nature of my meetings, LaNita was taking advantage of the pool and spa options at the hotel, so that when I arrived back at the hotel that afternoon she was refreshed and ready to head back out in an attempt to see Wat Arun, Bangkok?s venerated ?Temple of Dawn.? It was at this juncture that we tried as we might to take the Saen Saep khlong behind our hotel, only to be rebuffed on more than one attempt, the final defeat being handed down by the aforementioned concierge. Yet the afternoon was growing late, and the concierge, again trying to force his own agenda on us, a fact I recognized only after it was too late, offered a car ride to us to a suitable spot to take a ferry ride. At this point, I had had my fill of arguing for the day, and so for the agreed upon price of 100 Baht allowed him to take us to the place where we could pick up the ?appropriate? water taxi.

Coming from the Northeastern United States, I thought I had seen every racket in the book, but the unsavory types in Thailand had a thing or two to show me. Along the way, LaNita asked me, where we might be headed, since no specific details were given by the driver when he picked us up. In my naivete, I told here we must be headed to the nearest Chao Praya river ferry pier, which ultimately was where I wanted to be anyway. I was only part right.

The driver, aka Sam the Siam, took us down the soi adjacent to the Shangri-La hotel, and then so graciously offered to walk with us up to the pier and point to us where we purchase our tickets, also so graciously offering to wave at this buddy the ticket taker for us. But it was only after standing in the line that I become conscious of what he had taken us to; an overpriced tour of the Thronburi canals! Realizing this, we immediately turned around and started heading back down the road to search out the ferry pier we initially wanted, running into our driver, aka Leggs McThailand, who seemed more than a bit chagrined that we were not taking the tour. What did I care, we had paid our fare to him, and the time before Wat Arun closed was quickly approaching, so I did not have time to play these childish games anymore. Besides, I really wanted to see Bangkok from an aquatic vantage point.

Old Man River is a marvelous way to not only see the ?real Bangkok,? but also to beat the fury of the city?s iniquitous traffic snarls. The ferry, although not providing much time to ensure your surefootedness upon boarding, provided a quick, efficient means to witness the minutia of daily life in the metropolis. Even though we were unable to make the wat before it shuddered its doors for the day, we thoroughly enjoyed the commuter boat ride up the river ? and as it turned out, back down again ? capturing amazing pictures of the city?s abject poverty and opulence residing side-by-side on the water?s edge.

Dinnertime was upon us, or at least our as of yet unadjusted internal clocks, and for this evening I had selected Harmonique (Soi 34 off of Thanon Charoen Krung, 02 630 6270) for our dinning pleasure, based in large part on recommendations I had received from the Fodor?s board and the pleasantries bestowed upon the place by Lonely Planet. The bistro?s open-air atmosphere and laid-back feel were well received by both LaNita and myself after a rather busy day, as was the full-color picture, English menu and affable host and hostess. What was not equally well received by us both was the repugnant country lounge singer tape of soft rock resounding throughout the restaurant. Imagine if you will, Leann Rimes karaoke vocal clone singing The Cutting Crew?s ?I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight,? it was like someone was beating a baby with a cat! Cest la vie, we were determined not to let it spoil the otherwise calming mood set in the place.

For appetizers, we selected the recommended pork curry, in addition to the mussels and crabs selection we picked from the menu. Both of these dishes were outstanding, though the mussels and crabs were a notch above. Entrees? consisted of grilled prawns on a hot plate for LaNita (200 Baht) while I enjoyed the chicken with cashew nuts medley (185 Baht), admittedly an Asian entr&eacute;e favorite of mine. Both dishes were tremendous, and received high marks from us.

Following our evening meal, we took a stroll along Thanon Charoen Krung and happened upon marching band practice at Assumption College, a school for local children. The adult chaperones were agreeable enough, allowing us to snap a few photos to remember the moment. The rest of the evening was spent examine vendor wares along Thanon Silom. That evening we turned in around 10:00, with plans for a day trip out of Bangkok slated for the morrow.

Day Three

Ayuthaya, the ancient capital of Siam and now a UNESCO World Heritage site held a special attraction for me, so it was with unusual pep that I bounded out of bed at 5:00 the next morning to begin our trek northward to the former commerce, commercial and legislative hub. Following the omnipresent continental breakfast at our hotel, we set off as the dawn broke over Bangkok for Hua Lomphong Railway Station. Having some negative experiences already in our first full day in town with our hotel trying to arrange taxi transport, we opted for hailing a cab ourselves on the street, utilizing the ?taxi card? that came with Nancy Chandler?s ?Map of Bangkok,? a handy little reference tool that I would recommend anyone have on a trip to not only to Thailand, but especially its hectic capital. The record is printed with both English and Thai script to the names of most places of note in the city, in addition to some practical phrases no traveler should do without on a Thai outing.

Hailing a cab was little problem for us; as luck would have it, there was one conveniently located 10 paces off the hotel?s property parked on the sidewalk. This car?s hack, no doubt trying to seize the opportunity presented by naive farangs in the Oriental city, offered to take us to the station, for a mere 200 Baht as he suggested. Resisting temptation to laugh at loud at such a ridiculous price for a ride that would be shortened by the lack of traffic at this hour (yes, you read correctly, there is actually a time of day when Bangkok?s legendary traffic tie-ups take a catnap), I offered to pay him an admittedly inflated 150 Baht, to which he bached at, but yielded as soon as he could see were we serious about our one, and only, counteroffer. In my opinion, the only time to do any serious traveling around the city is either late at night, or early in the morning, as the ride to the train station was not only quick, but also useful in providing a glimpse of millions of Bangkok citizens going about their daily lives without much intrusion.

Arriving at the station I dubbed ?Grand Central Far East,? we had little trouble arranging passage to the northerly conurbation that was capital of Siam from 1350 to 1767, utilizing the very friendly and helpful ?Tourist Services? counter well marked at the train station. For 20 Baht a head, we would ride third class the 53 miles to Ayuthaya from Bangkok, a prospect I was looking forward to as not only providing a proverbial breath of fresh air from the smog ridden city, but also to see the daily of life of the people both on and off the train. So, looking for a train car with a ?3? painted on the side, we hopped on the carriage, assumed seats on the window and settled down for the two hour journey ? a voyage billed to last an hour and an forty minutes, but with all the efficiency of a state owned railway in reality took all of two hours.

It did not take long for the personal side of Thailand to rear its head, as large corrugated metal towns were set up all along the rail while in the city limits. People there were doing everything I expected to see on the morning ride: preparing fresh fruit to market, seating out for daily school lesson, culling chickens, fishing, ad nauseam. Though, despite my best mental preparations, I am afraid nothing could prepare me for the depths of poverty some of these people lived in, a condition that appeared worse than some dismal destitution I have seen Third World countries such as Mexico and Morocco.

Our fellow passengers on the rail trip were genial enough, providing no harassment, allowing us to sit back and enjoy the spree as we took in the sites and sounds not only off the track but also in the car, as vendors hawked their goods through the middle isle the entire length of the ramble, a cornucopia of commodities that ranged from Coca-Cola and Pringles to fresh prawns and skewered chicken. In more ways than one, the train ride was an absolute delight, setting the stage for what turned out to be the highlight of my trip ? though LaNita was later besotted by the turquoise charm of the Phi Phi islands.

Initially bopping off the train at the wrong stop, seeing a map on the platform labeled ?Ayuthaya Historical Park? and figuring we must be at the right place, we managed to hop back on the train before it pulled out and eventually arrived at the ?real? Ayuthaya station, clearly marked in Roman script as such. Following advice laid out in Lonely Planet?s manual we walked due west to the river, brushing off a swarm of Tuk Tuk drivers that offered to take us any and everywhere, eventually finding the ferry that would deliver us to the opposite shore for the mere sum of 1 Baht a person, a figure equating out to less than one cent for all the foreign exchange types out there.

Arriving on the opposing bank though, Lonely Planet?s authors apparently headed for the first tavern they could find and composed the rest of their manual while shot gunning a dozen consecutive Singa?s in a dimly lit room, as absolutely nothing was were they said it would be, and those few storefronts we could find were either not the promised guesthouse, or had not been said guesthouse since Bill Clinton was occupying the Oval Office. Our dithering and obvious confusion must have oozed from our pores as the swarming tuk tuks became relentless offering to take us to the park, only laughing at us when I replied we knew where we were going.

So it was with some trouble that I stumbled upon the New BJ Guesthouse (on Thanon Naresuan 035 244 4046), about half a mile east of where Lonely Planet?s map marked it?s X, and despite their handbook?s description, was not located next to a ?two-storey wooden house with a charming view of the temple.? Here we were able to procure two bicycles for the day, with one bicycle chain, at a cost of 50 Baht a person and one New Jersey Auto Operator License left as a deposit, lest we fail to return with our rental units as nightfall beset the dusty town.

An old mantra holds that you never forget how to ride a bike, but I am here to testify that a decade off the pedals has a way of inducing cycle amnesia, as LaNita hopped on the cycle and immediately rode into straight into the bushes and I was almost run down by a Hell?s Angels gang of Honda motor scooter riding locals. Add to the confusion that driving, when done by the rules of the road in Thailand, is on the left hand side. So with some Bambi-esque wobbling, and Clark Griswold-esque foreign ignorance we headed down the road trying to reach the edge of the Historical Park at the same time as trying hard not to find out how much medical insurance coverage I had while traveling abroad (I was to later find that amount could be summed up as not much).

First on our targeted list of ruined temples, mostly due to the fact that it was closest and could be reached via the large grass field that we were traveling on in lieu of the pavement, was Wat Phra Mahathat. For a 30 Baht admission per person, we were able to walk about the park on our own volition providing we did not disrespect the decapitated Buddha sculptures, thanks to those pesky Burmese marauders, by doing such things as taking our picture with them ala wacky beach boardwalk muscle bound men plywood cutouts. Fortunately, this was clearly marked for us on a rusty sign present as we entered the park, evidently some Westerners find daft pictures such as these get the biggest rise out of friends and family back home, respectfulness be damned.

This site also contained one of the most photographed, and possible mislabeled, Buddha images in the town; a Buddha head discarded by the Burmese hoarders after they were finished laying ruin to their arch nemesis? citadel, that the passage of time, and the pursuit of nature of seen fit be overgrown with tree branches. In fact, by walking around the ruins, we were able to see first hand just how thorough the raiders from the West were in the utter destruction of Ayuthaya, as the number of Buddha images with heads intact could be counted on one hand with fingers left over.

In all, we spent the better part of an hour taking in the remains of the site that dated back to the 14th century, before we decided to tempt the wheeled bipedal gods once more and strike out on to the remainder of the park. The cobwebs eventually feel out of our collective cycling noggins and with the agility of a U.S. Postal Service Team Tour de France rider we decided to take a survey of the whole historical park before investing any more time at one particular ruin. This decision was no doubt helped along by the setting in of Ayuthaya?s mid-morning sweltering heat, and the idea that we might spend all day peddling around being usurped by sitting poolside with cool drink in hand.

The park as a whole defies description, and the opportunity to tour the city by rented bike was a great suggestion offered by the presumably smashed Lonely Planet writers. Some much history offered up on one site and a relatively unobtrusive method of seeing it combining to offer a tranquility I have not found often in my travels. While, all the defaced temples deserved some time, we simply did not have it to give unfortunately, so after seeing the vast majority of the sites, we returned to one of the most impressive sites seen at the forefront of our bicycling expedition, Wat Ratburana (60 Baht entrance fee per person). The collective opinion of LaNita and I was that this site offered some of the most striking Khmer inclined architecture, evoking thoughts of Angkor Wat. In addition, we were able to make our way into the temples chedi, allowing me to play out my childhood Raiders of the Lost Ark fantasies and LaNita to live out her modern day Alias flights of the imagination. Contained deep in the bowels of the temple were some rather impressive fresco paintings, which no doubt would have been flooded by the package tourists masses at many other sites of similar ilk.

Spending roughly four hours in the historical park, we halfhearted decided to call it a day, having no idea what the train ride back held in store, and wanting to enjoy a little down time at the hotel after having such a great workout during the morning hours. We returned the rented bicycles to the guesthouse and settled on lunch at the unnamed open-aired canteen located across the street. Overall, the little caf&eacute; offered decent enough food at a reasonable enough price. I had the Beef with Oyster Sauce (50 Baht) while LaNita was more inclined to try the Shrimp with Coconut Rice (60 Baht), since in her words, putting anything with coconut milk will make it good. As it turns out, the Shrimp dish was a bit too spicy for her palate, and so being the amicable sort; I traded dishes with her. What do you know; coconut milk does make it better!

After lunch, tired, sweaty, sore and more interested in the nearest massage parlor than more sightseeing, we decided to give in to the gnat-like tuk tuk drivers, taking up the first off for a ride back to the train station. Oddly enough, those little three-wheeled, motorcycle and golf cart mishmashes, thick as thieves and undeterred in the early morning were no where to be found on the entire walk back to the ferry stop! This is no doubt a version of Thai poetic justice, leaving you alone the one moment you want their services, choosing the generally bother and annoy you the rest of the time.

By the time we reached the river, with our train station destination in sight, we gave up all hope of catching a motorized ride. At the station, we found our ticket price per person had doubled to a whopping 40 Baht a person ($1.00), as the only option headed back to the megalopolis was second class. While comfortable enough with air-conditioning and reclining seats, I found the express train ride back devoid of the local flair that made our morning trip so colorful. In short, for a trip as short as Bangkok to Ayuthaya, always opt for the cheaper third class option for more of a peak into ordinary Thai lives.

We returned to our hotel at approximately 2:30, and spent the remainder of the afternoon, as foreshadowed during our morning bicycle ride lounging poolside with cool drinks in hand. After all, this was a holiday for us both, and I was determined to treat it as such when possible. Not to mention, the morning had been so wonderful, I simply did not want to tempt fate and head into the Bangkok brouhaha for fear it would spoil my good mood, as the city did at every other turn during our trip.

That evening I had made dinner reservations at Mango Tree (tucked away on Soi Than Tawan off Thanon Surawong [02 236 2820]), again relying heavily on recommendations received by other travelers on this discussion forum. Upon arrival, I was very impressed by the ambiance the restaurant set outdoors in a quiet little corner of an otherwise frenzied city. The babbling brook gave a nice touch to the place, and immediately I felt more relaxed than I had been since we arrive (no doubt the few pre dinner Singas helped this relaxation process along).

That evening, we began with an appetizer of Deep Fried Shrimp Cakes (160 Baht), followed by Spicy Mixed Seafood and Sweet &amp; Sour Soup with White Sea bass in Ginger &amp; Tamarind soups (140 and 120 Baht, respectively). For the main course, I went with the Stir-fried Mixed Seafood with Red Curry Paste in Coconut Milk (ok, ok, so it does make a difference and at 200 Baht was not an expensive adventure) and LaNita tried her hand at the Red Snapper with Garlic Chili Basil (200 Baht). Enjoining the pleasant ambiance of the restaurant to create a relaxing environment was live entertainment courtesy of a pair of traditional Thai dancers and a small ensemble of ranaat ek playing band members.

Unfortunately, the food did not live up to my expectations, and LaNita was a bit put off that her ?foods keeps starring back,? thus causing her to not enjoy the red snapper nearly as much as she might sans cranium. So we left feeling disappointed with the fare. Having a chance to reflect on the meal, in all fairness, this may not have been entirely Mango Tree?s fault. First, we ordered a lot of food and did not expect the portions to be as large as they were. Thus, by the time the entrees arrived, we were already feeling full. Second, I discovered the blending of profuse quantities of Singa and Thai food caused by stomach to revolt, thus I was extremely uncomfortable as I finished dinner. Combining all of this, the overarching theme was that we enjoyed the dinner experience at Mango Tree, and we would recommend it to other travelers. Though, the sanction comes with a word of caution about ordering too much.

With full bellies, we wheeled ourselves into the nearest taxi and headed back to the hotel. Tomorrow would be a big day, as I had planned to cram in all that we had missed thus far in Bangkok. Little did I know at the time, but the seedy underbelly of touts in Bangkok was conspiring to make our day a living hell.

Day Four

O miserable, wretched touts, how I wish upon you reincarnation as a frog or rat! Or put another way, constant harassment throughout the day solidified an overall negative view of Bangkok on this trip, not that the city had far to fall by now.

The schedule was jam packed as we once again beat the roosters up in an attempt to beat the heat, both emitted from the street thugs and the sun, striking out for a pre-dawn hour tour of some of Bangkok?s most sacred a famous holy places, the City Pillar and the opulent Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew. Wolfing down a scrumptious continental breakfast of bagels and ?assorted cheeses,? we grabbed a cab by 6:30 that morning and were dumped off at 7:00 along the north wall of the Grand Palace. If we were trying to beat the crowds, mission accomplished, as not only was the area bereft of tourists, but locals as well.

A note to set up one possible reason for the awful treatment we would receive that day. LaNita, going against my better judgment, thought that 90-degree weather begot shorts. I was worried not only about the way she might be treated, but also how her attire would be received in a Buddhist temple that has a strict dress code. She assured me that the temples would all have coverings at them, and as such, he choice of attire should not be cause for concern. I beg to differ.

First stop on our merry-go-round of marvels was City Pillar, Lak Meuang, the symbolic center of Bangkok. Even though Lonely Planet said the temple did not open until 8:00, we had no problems gaining entry, simply walking into the complex and planning on being respectful and leaving if anyone said anything to us. What surprised me about this shrine, given our earlier experiences with arriving early to Wat Pho, was the number of worshipers that were there at the early dawn hour. This gave us a sort of window into some of the daily lives of the city?s devout, as we were able to see them offering up offers to the deity of the City Pillar, Phra Sayam Thewathira (Venerable Siam of the State), a spirit that is considered the guardian spirit of the city. Among the offerings being made were the usual incense and flowers, draped on the unusual pig?s head.

However, despite my best attempts to be unobtrusive and observe proper rules of decorum, it did not take long to get the sense that we were not welcome, as people looked at us and spoke under their breath, obviously put off by our presence there. Perhaps it was the fact that LaNita was in shorts, and had not covered her legs up, or maybe it was due to the fact that we were there before it ?opens? for tourists. Whatever the cause, we did not see any sense in overextending our welcome, and we left the complex less than 20 minutes after we arrived. In hindsight, I would have liked to spend more time there, as there was much to see and I was interested in how the worshippers gave thanks to the city?s guardian spirit, particularly in the practice of commissioning of dances of lakhon kae bon. Regardless, I still had plenty on the agenda for the morning and did not see our departure as a major disruption to the schedule.

After exiting the temple square, we were joined on our stroll along the sidewalk by a tout we will refer to as Ret Besterd, to protect his identity. Seeing farangs that were no doubt lost and in need of his help, after all Westerns can?t possibly enjoying walking, Ret Besterd, no doubt holding up his civic duty, informed us that the Grand Palace would be closed today due to an unnamed Buddhist Holiday, but one I think I is correctly identified as Kor Tourists Screwus Po. That was odd, I replied to Mr. Besterd, since the guy at the front gate told us we would have to wait until 8:30 before we could enter. Besterd of course said the guy at the front gate was not aware of the holiday and that he would be only informed at the last moment.

Ret, may I call you Ret, thank you for all your wonderful help. Now we have a chance to see the outside of these other impressive sites, since we were unable to go to the Grand Palace today, shucks! Oh but my friends, you mustn?t walk on this sidewalk ? the walkway across the road from the eastern wall of the Grand Palace, in front of the Ministry of Defense ? since this sidewalk is only for the military.

The military you say Ret! Well I guess I?ll just have put myself in harm?s way as I admire the stunning contrast at the moment of the gold-topped Wat Phra Kaew against a foreboding looking sky. Ret though, putting his own life in danger apparently since he was not military (or maybe he was), walked in front of us the entire length of the walk, on doubt to sacrifice his own body should bullets be flung in our, non-military-personnel-walking-on-the-street, direction. When we reached the end of the path, there was Ret with yet another helpful tip.

You can only get into the temple (hey wait a minute, isn?t the temple closed?!) with pants and long sleeves, Ret informed us, pointing to my shorts. Don?t worry, I assured Ret, as I pulled the bottom part of my pants out of my bag to be zipped on before I entered the temple, I think I will be covered (pun intended). This sight was more than Ret could handle, who looked at me like the dog had just sat up and spoke as I explained to him how I could easily take my pant legs on and off as the situation dictated. You could literally see him trying to come up with something, anything, to drag us with him on his quest for jewel shop commission, but finally being completely befuzzled and at an apparent loss for words, he elected to simply leave us alone. I bid you farewell Ret.

Unfortunately for the rest of the day, this was the rule rather than the exception. We heard from many other touts on our meandering path to the Grand Palace, all of which with similar stories. If the temple wasn?t closed for a Buddhist holiday, it was closed for repairs, or cleaning, or remodeling, or the weather, the day, the season, you name it, they had them all. After about the fourth one, we had about had enough, and were more than ready to duck inside the temple for the day, which despite all that our earlier friend had tried to tell us, was open! I guess the Buddhist decided to move their holiday for our benefit.

Before going onto the temple grounds though we decided it best to cover LaNita?s legs with something. After leaving City Pillar she had begun to feel real self-conscience as we walked the perimeter of the Grand Palace complex. So before getting in line to await the opening of the palace gates, we ran across the street to a small store front with many sarongs on display, no doubt for all of the inexperienced Westerners, present company included, that did not dress in proper attire.

The store though had a better idea that just selling us a sarong; rather they offered to rent us one. For 100 Baht, they gave us a sarong; then told us we would get 70 Baht back after we returned. Seemed like a good enough deal, since we really didn?t want to purchase one if we could help it, so it was with no misgivings I handed over the proper bill, wrapped the cloth around LaNita?s legs and went to stand in line. If early morning was any indication though, the store had a trick up their sleeve for us upon our return.

At the appropriate hour, Buddhist holiday be damned, the Grand Palace opened for business and we joined the initial rush for the gates. The Grand Palace and Wat Phra Kaew grounds are only opened from 8:30 to 11:00 and 1:30 to 3:00, but being there as early as we were, I was surprised to see the number of tourist anxiously awaiting the site to open. After we entered though, I was glad we got there when we did, because it did not take long for the entire sight to be completely overrun with tourists, guides and massive tour groups, making enjoyment of the many marvels nearly impossible.

The admission seemed a bit steep to me (200 Baht a person) for such a short amount of time in which we had to see everything, but after we separated from the initial rush, I was speechless. The level of sumptuousness we were greeted with the minute we entered the greater Wat Phra Kaew was unparallel with anything else I have seen in the world, and it goes without saying LaNita and I were both very impressed. While the option was available for us to either hire a private guide, or rent an audio program of the grounds, we found the pamphlet that was provided to us as we entered to be more than sufficient. It explained in detail what each of the structures in the Wat (and subsequently the palace) was, it?s historical significance and other interesting little factoids about the area.

However, our enjoyment of the Wat area was short lived as the package tourist soon made it impossible to get any decent photographs or even to find a quiet corner to enjoy, so we proceeded on to the grounds of the palace themselves. It did not take long to separate from the hordes, and their schedules, so we were able to tour the well manicured lawns of the palace complex in relative solitude, treated to a changing of the guard ceremony in the process. Overall, we spent roughly two hours on the palace grounds and can definitely say it was the highlight of my experiences in Bangkok.

Having had our fill of Thai royalty for the day, we left the complex to strike out for our next destination, Jim Thompson?s house, and our next adventure, going there by tuk tuk. Ever since first hearing about Jim Thompson, his silk empire and his subsequent disappearance I became fascinated by the legend and did some studying up on it before we arrived in Thailand, which including reading William Warren?s book, Jim Thompson: Unsolved Mystery. This proved to be a great read, and even further heightened my desire to see this amazing Thai home that he had constructed.

Before we could go though, we had to return LaNita?s rented sarong so I could get 70 Baht back. However, the minute we walked into the shop, I wish we had just kept the wrapping, as the once friendly shopkeepers turned immediately into aggressive touts upon our return. The minute we handed the sarong over they pushed brochures in our face and told us, ? now we take you to the big Buddha.? The problem of course is that we did not want to see the ?big Buddha? as we politely thanked them for the use of the sarong and attempted to leave their shop. Notice I say attempted because for the first, and only time, we were in Bangkok we were physically restrained as we tried to leave. Needless to say, this did not sit well with me, or LaNita, as we had to take their hands off of us and proceed to hailing a tuk tuk, which are plentiful in this area and did not take long for one to stop.

But our aggressive merchant was undeterred even as we got into the tuk tuk, telling the driver to ?just go.? He actually held on to the vehicle and was telling the driver where we wanted to go, which meant he was telling him to take us to the big Buddha! This was the final straw for LaNita. Even though I kept telling the tuk tuk driver Jim Thompson?s house and was searching frantically through my satchel for my translation card, the shopkeeper kept telling us that we WERE going to the big Buddha, because we had to see it and furthermore, he WAS going to take us. LaNita was not going to stand for this, and like a volcano, just exploded onto the guy telling him off in every single language she could muster. Proper or not, it worked as or tuk tuk sped away, leaving our less than honest shopkeeper standing empty handed on the street. I just feel sorry for the people that gave in to him, no telling how badly he has ripped others off.

Even though our tuk tuk driver could sense our agitation, and thankful just sped away, we only got a block before he had to stop and ask us again where we were going, and perhaps most importantly, how much we were going to pay him to get us there. The minute we stopped our shopkeeping friend started walking towards us, so I just agreed to pay him the 300 baht he was asking so we didn?t have to be here any longer, a horribly inflated sum, but at the same time, a small price to pay for my freedom.

While this should have been simple enough, it wasn?t, since our tuk tuk driver didn?t know where he was going! So after asking all of his tuk tuk cronies for the next two blocks various questions in Thai, he finally stopped, transferred us to a new tuk tuk, said thank you to us, and sped off without collecting a single baht from us. This was odd to me, so before I agreed to get into our new carriage, I made sure the driver knew where we were going, and how much (albeit more than I would have wanted to pay) it was going to cost us. Having been assured that were we all in agreement, off we went on a zany tuk tuk ride.

It did not take long to see why tuk tuks are not more popular with foreign tourists we see populating the air-conditioned cabs. Aside from being noisy and cramped, they are loud and the pollution they emit, mixed with that from the traffic on the street, is only too much to bear! The ride took us roughly 30 minutes, and to my surprise, the driver led us straight to Jim Thompson?s house. I paid him his fare and he was on his way, and we were left to enjoy a little peace and quiet after the imbroglio we just endured.

At once, Jim Thompson?s house is an inspiring and relaxing oasis in the midst of a desert of smog and smell. I was drawn in immediately to the lush surroundings, amazing architecture and attention to detail. Regardless what William Warren says in his book, Jim Thompson must have been a gay man, because there is simply no way a straight man could have designed like this (I mean this as a compliment, not to be take as a derogatory statement, unless you are a heterosexual male interior designer, in which case I apologize)!

We entered the compound, purchased our ticket and waited a short while for the ?English? tour, which I say because our tour guide?s command of language was awful, and had I not done some research into the Jim Thompson legend before our arrival, I doubt I would have gotten anything out of the tour from our guide. Regardless, the design was inspirational, as it turns out, serving as the inspiration for our new bedroom.

Determined to get more out of the tour, we headed back through many parts of the house after the rest of the group was dismissed and was surprised at how many people choose not to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. On the complex there are two smaller buildings hold various other pieces that are part of the larger Thompson art collection, which in my opinion, as equally as impressive as anything inside the home. Yet, even though our guide invited us to enter them on our own time, we were the only two people in either of the structures. Of course, this is not all bad, as we were able to enjoy the peace and quiet available without a crowd of people to hurry us along.

For lunch we turned to the caf&eacute; on site, thanks to a suggestion from one of the Bangkok travelers on Fodor?s and were quiet pleased with the level of service, the food and most of all the ambiance. In fact, the staff went above and beyond my expectations when they gladly plugged in my camera battery for charging after I requested, something I knew was hit or miss but they were happy to help. After dining, we strolled through the main store, saw a few pieces we were interested in, but decided to head to the Jim Thompson silk shop on Thanon Rama IV in hopes of finding a better deal.

Fortunately, the warehouse store is only a few Skytrain stops away, which means we did not have to deal with the traffic or the touts, a prospect I welcomed and what a spectacular sight the Skytrain was! Clean, quiet, efficient and uber-easy to navigate, words cannot explain how impressed I was with the Skytrain system. Hello New York, are you taking notes! We had no trouble getting to the proper stop; only having to deal with yet more touts as we went to the store (on the corner of Thanon Rama IV and Thanon Surawong).

Somewhere, and at this point I am not sure where, I read that better bargains were to be had at the silk shop than on the grounds at Jim Thompson?s house. Perhaps I went to the wrong silk shop, or maybe the material I read was dated, but from what we observed at the silk shop in question, you are better off making your purchases at the store on the home site, as everything we came for was more expensive than the other sight. It goes without saying, this did not exactly provide a modicum of happiness in a day filled with despair, so we spent the next 10 minutes contemplating what, if anything, we wanted to do next.

After our experience with the store, and the unscrupulous types around, we had finally had enough, and decided to call it a day, heading back to the hotel. While LaNita was perfectly content to sit poolside for the remainder of the day, I did not yet feel whole and wanted extract a measure of revenge for what I saw a completely ruined day due to the constant harassment that we faced. So I concocted a plan to get back and those bloody touts.

To set the stage, the minute you step off the hotel grounds, it was to be expected that you would be approached for someone?s services. Knowing this, I decided to visit the 7-11 a few doors down from our hotel to pick up a ?few things.? Speaking to my safety, it should be noted I was within eyesight of the hotel security shack at all times and a very busy stretch of road. Sure enough, on my way back, a man approached me and started into the usual sales pitch, which is ?hello, how are you, where you from, how long you been in Bangkok, what you done.?

My plan was an uncomplicated one, I would simply lie to him at every turn, giving the polite answer he was not looking for but would beg him asking more from me until he realized I had already done whatever he suggested! My goal was equally as simple, I wanted to waste as much time of his as possible, after all, I had nothing else going on at this point (around 4:00) and my day had been so miserable. I am proud to say this worked.

First he asked me how long we had been and when we were leaving, to which I told him tomorrow (lie). This looked like it fazed him a bit, but he was undeterred, after all, the afternoon was still young and he could get something out of me no doubt. He then began asking what we did during our stay, to which I listed every possible landmark I could think of, not in rapid-fire succession, but more in a contemplative way as to give the impression that I was thinking the individual experiences as I was saying them, again to waste time. Much to my surprise, he sat there and listened to me rattle off the name of Bangkok landmarks for the next 10 minutes, each time you could see his spirit being crushed more and more, but I was determined to outlast him on the street.

I have to hand it to this one though, he was not easily put off and come hell or high water, he was going to find a way to make a buck off of me. So thinking we were leaving the next day, he asked where we were going, how we were getting there and if we had a place to stay, looking for a way to suggest something and make a buck no doubt. Even my answers in the affirmative to all of those were not a deterrent to him as he then asked what our plans for the evening were, to which I said we had reservations at a restaurant with some friends of ours in Bangkok who were coming to pick us up.

At last, victory! A full 20 minutes from the time he first engaged me, he finally made his get away with a simple, ?enjoy your stay in Thailand? and a walk down the sidewalk. I felt somewhat vindicated, I had gotten back some of my time.

That evening we didn?t even bother with heading out and just had dinner at Mingles before headed off to bed. Tomorrow would be our last full day in Bangkok and we had shopping lined up with the help of one guide Fodor?s knows well, the one they call Ratt.

On a programming note, I?m taking the weekend off from posting, so for all, or any, of the people that have been following along, be looking for the next update on Monday.

travdelbear,

<i>The level of sumptuousness we were greeted with the minute we entered the greater Wat Phra Kaew was unparallel with anything else I have seen in the world</i>

<i>a completely ruined day due to the constant harassment that we faced.</i>

I don't understand how you square those two comments and I only point them out to provide some perspective and context.

Each of us has different experiences. I, for example, experienced at least two helpful Thais for every tout. When my wife and I were virtually starving, a man came up to us and saw that we were looking around. We asked him for a clean place to grab a bite to eat. Not only did he show us two places, but he escorted us to them so we could make our own decision, entirely free of pressure. One was owned by his sister and another by his friend, facts he openly explained before recommending them. I could bore you with a long list of help we got from Thais on the street, ranging from which line to get into to catch the proper boat to how to find the National Museum, information wihtout which we would have been hopelessly lost.

As for the touts, they're part of the &quot;adventure.&quot; My wife and I approach travel to foreign cultures as an adventure. With that mindset everything becomes interesting and enjoyable, including the attempt of those who thrive on attempting to dupe us.

As for the touts in Bangkok, they are by far the nicest touts I have ever experienced. A quick &quot;thank you, but I know the game,&quot; accompanied by a hearty smile on my face instantly rid us of each and every one of them.

By the way, just because a Thai comes up to you and asks how long you've been in Bangkok etc., etc., it doesn't mean they are a tout. I had many pleasant conversations with Thais that started out with that line of conversation and none of them were touts. They simply wanted to know and, more often than not, wanted to practice their English.

As a matter of fact, my wife and I <i>hate</i> big cities. We tend to avoid them like the plague. However, the main attractions of Bangkok were so compelling that we simply couldn't avoid this huge city with about 10 million peole. We left Bangkok thinking that it must be the best of the big cities, because we loved every minute of it.

By the way, in the middle of writing this post from my comfortable suburb outside the nation's (USA) capitol, two gentleman came to my door. The conversation went like this, beginning with the person knocking on my door:

&quot;How are you doing?&quot;

&quot;How may I help you?&quot;

&quot;I'm just trying to be polite by asking how your day is going.&quot;

&quot;And I'm trying to be polite by asking how I can help you.

&quot;Thank you very much. Have a good day.&quot; Considering how quickly he and his partner walked away, I concluded that his parting comments were disingenuous at best.

Now what was that about touts in Bangkok?

--Mike Buckley

MikeBuckley,

Your point is well received, not everyone in Bangkok is a thief and not every person that approaches you on the street is looking to take advantage of you. There are people who are genuinely trying to help and in fact two days later in our trip, my wife ended being completely embarrassed because she immediately said ?We are not interested? when someone approached us in the airport, when in all actuality they just wanted to hand us a map.

That being said, on the day in question, we ran into no such people. I am not apologetic for relaying our experiences, because they are just that, our experiences. Every person is going to have a different experience when they travel, and you should take whatever opportunity you can to see the world. However, I do not feel as though I was adequately warned about how aggressive the touts might be in the city. You said ?a quick &quot;thank you, but I know the game,&quot; accompanied by a hearty smile on my face instantly rid us of each and every one of them,? which is what I read in Lonely Planet and other posts as well. Yet, that was my initial approach and while it would dismiss 80% of the people that approached us, we were still badgered by the more persistent touts to the point of harassment. Going one step further, the shop keeper incident involved physically holding us by the arms as we tried to walk away, you cannot tell me that incident can just easily be dismissed! If you had had a similar one, no doubt your day would have been ruined. My wife actually felt threatened, which is not a feeling that can be just sloughed off and attributed to ?the traveling experience.? Between my own uneasiness and her apprehension we were not up for much more of Bangkok at that point.

We love big cities, in fact we live in the immediate shadow of the nation?s largest and spend every chance we can in it. One of my favorite activities in any large city is simply walking around with a camera in hand, taking pictures and poking my head in various markets and shops. Yet the treatment we received on the whole that day prevented us from doing that. Aside from the two more persistent touts, we were bothered no less than 10 times in one hour. I just want others to be prepared, as I did not think I was.

Keep in mind also that this is an installment story. Once I wrap everything up (you read correctly there is an end), I plan on just giving my general impressions. Impression number one, Thailand is a great country! Impression number two, the Thai people are very warm and friendly. Impression number three, do not judge the country on the whole based on your experiences in Bangkok. Personally, I can?t wait to go back to Thailand, but I can tell you right now, I will spend the absolutely minimum amount of time I can in Bangkok. That is just my opinion, which when put together with 50 cents might get you a cup of coffee, do with it what you will.

All of that being said, it is important for people such as yourself to offer up your own experiences as well. I am the biggest proponent of a complete free exchange of ideas, so that everyone can pull from a pool of experiences. In fact, I am glad that you had good experiences with strangers in Bangkok, it comforts me, and no doubt many of our experiences can be chalked up in some part to the particularly area we were in that day, as most other parts of town people would generally leave us alone with a simple ?no thank you.?

i'm about to go to bkk for the 6th time...touts don't bother me at all...we see them coming and do not miss a step....we are not polite....they probably thing we are new yorkers...we don't care...we keep walking....sometimes we say &quot;NO&quot; and keep walking,,,,not looking at them...we have a signal between us---&quot;do you have your cell phone&quot;...it warns us to a person approaching...keep walking, don't look at them...ignor them...IT WORKS...

i do not find touts in 99% of bkk....i only find them in the areas where many tourists are apt to be ....the tourist spots...so you deal with it...

in my opinion you did make a mistake wearing shorts....and i think you learned this lesson...did you get your refund for the sarong?? we never wear shorts in bkk except at the pool...we have never experienced a problem..

i am loving your report and look forward to next week...
throw that damn guide book away...it does no seem to have prepared you for bkk at all...

travelbear -

Finding your report very interesting, but agree that whatever guidebook you used failed you. I haven't read a guidebook that didn't indicate that one had to be appropriately dressed especially for the Grand Palace, and for other temples, as well. And if not in your particular guidebook, there have been so many threads here about proper dress.

With the exception of a few children touts outside the Grand Palace, we never encountered touts to the point of being annoying or threatening. We found walking right past them or a simple &quot;no, we're not interested&quot; sufficed. And this has worked well, regardless any country we've visited.

As to traffic, except for one morning when there was lots of bridge traffic coming to the Peninsula Hotel (located on the Thonburi side of the river) - our driver waited at the Pen ferry stop on the BKK side, while our guide took the ferry over to pick us up, we got on the Pen ferry and were in the air conditioned car within 4-minutes. From there it took less than 15-minutes to get to the Grand Palace.

Maybe it was our timing, but we never ran into BKK traffic that would delaying our arrival anywhere.

Waiting for the next chapters in your adventure.

travelB.... good stuff man.. these are the types of travel stories I like.. your experiences may have not been all rosey but they are more like the true thailand. or at least the expats life. trust me.

Sandi.. I think your driver took you threw a worm hole? trafic is insane especially from 8Am too 9pm... travelbear had it worse cuz he was on new Pathubari rd.. one of the more natorius rd's for trafic.

If I need too get anywhere fast I usually take a minute too pray. and hop on a motercycle taxi..

We are going to Thailand for the first time on March 2nd. We really appreciate your literary style.I am originally from NY and now Miami. The touts cannot be worse than Jamaica. I just say No Thank you smile. Another approach is to make believe you do not speak English and speak broken Pig latin.They usually smile and leave you alone.When I return on the 27th, I will attempt to write as interesting trip report as you have.

For touts in thailand just say mai/or mi dai and wave them off.

never tell touts how long your in town..

Actually Cityboys idea I also use, though don't try German because many might throw back a few words(not that I speak german, tried a few words and the guy returned with a gabble of German). In total honesty even after all these years if I am alone I still get people comming up to me but when I am with a Thai it 'never' happens.
Regarding traffic there is a rumour that the traffic did quieten down between 3.16 and 3.18 in the morning of the 14th June 1997, but I think it's just 'rumour'....seriously, it is a huge city and has what almost any city of such a size would have anywhere in the world, I have been insulted in Paris and even Melbourne, it's a vibrant bustling city and should be approached/accepted as such.

<i>there is a rumour that the traffic did quieten down between 3.16 and 3.18 in the morning of the 14th June 1997</i>

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day Five

We have officially had our fill of Bangkok and cannot wait to escape. However, pulling from our other travel experiences, we decided to have one day set aside, today as it was, for souvenir shopping and tying up any loose ends. As far as I was concerned, the only loose ends I had left to tie up was getting out of dodge, so shopping for Thai crafts it was.

To help us in our task, we enlisted the aid of one Vimoirat Kantapiyo, or Ratt as she goes by. Anyone that has followed the Thailand threads on the Fodor?s board has no doubt seen her name tossed about, and the overall sentiment seemed to be that for the price (200 Baht an hour in her Toyota Corolla cab) she did a bang up job as a driver and general ?guide,? although it is important to point out that she is not technically a guide. Add LaNita and myself to that list of people who highly recommends her services after the wonderful experience we had on our shopping tour.

I first contacted Ratt via email ([email protected]) approximately one month before we were to arrive in Bangkok and through our discussions told her LaNita and I would be interested in picking up Thai arts and crafts at a discount price. Her first suggestion was a trip to the Chatuchak weekend market, which sounded like a great idea.

Talat Nat Jatujak, as the bazaar is known in Thai vernacular, is a massive conglomeration of stalls on the northern edges of Bangkok that is open every week on Saturday and Sunday. On its own, it does not look like it would be that difficult to navigate, especially with Nancy Chandler?s map that we had purchased. However, I knew that by this point in the trip, I would be tired of trying to figure everything out on my own, and welcomed the chance to hire a local guide for the day to take us directly to that which wanted without wasting a lot of time wandering about.

From the moment Ratt picked us up, promptly at 8:00am as we had arranged, she did just that, taking care of everything that we needed. Standing all of 4 foot 11 inches, she is a warm and friendly woman, the experience of her years worn on her face like a badge of familiarity and understanding. Any trepidation we may have had about hiring this person off the internet were immediately washed from us, as she instantly opened herself up to us, not only for her wealthy of city wisdom but also as a window into her life and experiences.

As we rode the half-hour or so to the market so filled the idle time with conversation about what we were to expect at the market, the necessary Thai vocabulary interspersed with anecdotes about her husband and two grown children. If we were thirsty, she had plenty of drinks on hand for us, and any questions we had she answered without hesitation.

This professionalism carried through from the moment we first step off the shuttle bus from the parking lot to the market. What struck me most was the way she listened to what we were looking for, even though we really didn?t know what it was at first. To begin with, she said we would be best to ?have a look around,? to get a feel of what was available and from there she would take us to the best available spots, rather than those stalls up front that no doubt pick up the vast majority of farang purchases. As we began to take interest in certain pieces, she would whisper into either LaNita?s or my ear what would be a good price for the item, giving us the chance to bargain with the merchant at first, then stepping in herself when she could see need for an intermediary. From the get go, she carried all our bags for us through the market, despite my protests, and put up with the constant back and forth that we are privy to as we debate the merit of some purchases. In the end, every good we purchased I felt we paid a good price for, whether it was a good price or not for the market as a whole is inconsequential to me.

Our time in the market was relatively short, and by noon we had bought all that we needed to buy, with the exception of one piece I wanted to price, an antique Siam map. For this Ratt had just the place in mind, but first it was time for lunch.

As an added bonus to the day, Ratt took us to a place no doubt the exclusive domain of locals, the name of which I did not catch. For only 60 Baht, we had our pick of the buffet that included many wonderful Thai curries served over either noodles or rice. Sensing LaNita?s hesitation about some of the dishes, Ratt dished up small portions of everything, giving her a taste of some authentic Thai without feeling obligated to finish an entire plate she might otherwise leave half eaten. During lunch, I turned the conversation to some of her other clients, telling her how well regarded she was on the Fodor?s board, speaking specifically to ?the spirit house ladies? and their excellent experiences with her. With a smile, she remembered back to their stay and seemed genuinely honored that word of mouth had been the impetus for her now thriving business. Moving into the new century though, Ratt shared her new domicile on the Web, www.geocities.com/ratt_bkk, where future customers can review and request her services. All though at press time, the Web site is still under construction.

After lunch, Ratt took us to the River City shopping center to one particular shop she knew dealing in antique maps. Unfortunately, the shop was closed for lunch when we arrived, but this offered us a chance to poke around a bit in a shopping center we would not have otherwise gone into. Yet, despite all the stores I was most impressed with the sculpture garden on the top floor, offering better than average views of the river and surround city in a tranquil haven above the bedlam that is Bangkok.

We returned to the store, made my purchase and were off, bidding Ratt farewell as she returned us to the hotel. Overall, LaNita and I can not say enough about how impressed we were with Ratt?s services, only wishing we had picked her up earlier for some of the other areas we had gone to see.

For our last evening in Bangkok, I made reservations at the Seafood Market and Restaurant (89 Sukmumvit 24, Sukhumvit Road, 02 661 1255) on the recommendations from Frommer?s, which admitted the place was out of their target price range, but was just so much fun you had to go. At first, I did not know what I was getting us into, but welcomed and fun mealtime adventure, which is exactly what we got!

The Seafood Market is to kitsch what Bangkok is to traffic, but I don?t think we could have had more fun if we were flinging handfuls of sticky rice across the table at each other. The entire restaurant is set up like a gigantic supermarket, filled with countless tables and lined on the back wall with the fresh seafood selection from which you choose. The concept is simple, you walk back to the soon-to-be-vittles on ice, tell the lady pushing your shopping cart what you want, and she bags it up and follows you as you select more. Once are you done, your shopping cart is wheeled up to the check out lane, where it is weighed, then slayed as you have a seat back at your table. The wait staff, taking a peek at what you bought, asks you how you want it prepared, and in two shakes of the lobster?s tail it is placed before you ready for eating. In case, you haven?t gathered so much, a high recommendation is passed on for this place, but not if you are looking for anything authentic, only for a great dinner experience.

After dinner, perhaps most appropriate given all that we had seen on our Bangkok safari, we had the most colorful cab driver of the entire trip, a Laotian man who had apparently toked on some wacky bettle before getting behind the wheel. More than half insane, evidenced by the constant laughing at the most inappropriate time, he saw us as the perfect candidates for sounding boards to not only his English, but also his views on world politics. Finding out we were from New York, he laughed, and said ?Osama good, planes in buildings, al Queda,? followed by more squirrelly laughing. Needless to say, this did not exactly sit well with us, but I went along trying to relay to him how devastating that event was. All of my concerns though feel on deaf ears as he continued to pontificate, intermingled with more laughter, about the inner workings of Muslim terror organization and how ?Bush bad, America hate Bush.? Deciding to throw a wrench in his cogs, I told him that the nation LOVED Bush and how he is the best President ever! This obviously did a number on him, because after he finished his latest bit of laughing, he simply said, ?ok, I believe you? and was quiet for the remainder of the ride home.

The day was another good one for us, bringing our count of good days to three versus only one bad day in Bangkok, which overall we rated as a success in our life?s trip report. But for all the culturally experiences we had had in the big city, the evening was spent packing our suitcases in earnest, as LaNita and I both were ready for some down time on the Southern Thailand island of Phuket. Our flight left would be wheels up at 11:00 the next morning.

Hi Travelbear,
Delighted to hear about your good experience with Ratt. I am the &quot;spirit house lady&quot; who posted the original recommendation for her. I was given her name by other expats in Singapore, for whom she is a treasured resource on shopping expeditions.
BTW, her sister offers a similar service in Chiang Mai. We did not use her, as we were so exhausted by the time we got to CM, that on that trip we chose to just do the cooking school and veg by the pool at the Regent (Four Seasons.) But I would be willing to wager that her service is just as enjoyable as Ratt's.