Dear Ekscrunchy,

Thanks for your kind words.

I've been thinking about how it would be for a solo female traveller in Pakistan. When my husband and I first thought about the trip, it wasn't certain whether he could go, because of work commitments. I was determined to go in any case, and corresponded in detail with our travel agents here in Canada and in Pakistan. They assured me that it would be fine for a female to travel alone in Pakistan.

As it turned out, my husband did come with me, and we were together nearly all the time. On one day he felt unwell. I ate alone twice (in restaurants in Lahore). People glanced at me with curiosity, but nobody said anything and the food and service I received were just as good as when my husband and I ate together.

I also found that when I spoke to our guide, our driver, or any of the hotel staff in the various hotels and towns in which we stayed, I was treated with respect and courtesy. Of course, I don't know whether Pakistani men felt uneasy speaking to me, but they never betrayed any uneasiness.

One day in a village where we stayed the northern areas, my husband, our guide and our driver went out for a day-long excursion. I'd had enough driving for the time being and decided to spend the day in the hotel. (We were the only guests.) I spent the morning in our room, reading. A member of staff (male - we never saw any female workers in any of the hotels or restaurants) brought tea to my room (I hadn't ordered it - it was a surprise treat) and, as expected, behaved with perfect courtesy. At lunch he returned to the room and asked what I'd like to order. He took my order and then served me in style in the garden in front of the hotel.

Later in the day, the owner of the souvenir shop attached to the hotel took me for a ride on his motorcycle. (I am about fifteen years older than he). I was panicking and had no idea whether I would be committing some horrible breach of Muslim etiquette by accepting (or refusing).

I remembered reading a newspaper article years ago that said we should all take small risks every day, so I decided to put myself in his hands and accept. I figured that in his own country, he must know what is all right and what is improper.

In fact the motorcycle ride was the second best highlight of the trip (after the Khyber Pass). My companion treated me with courtesy and dignity. We stopped by a river bank and bathed our feet in the river. The climb back up the bank was steep, and my companion offered me his hand on several occasions. Again, I thought I might be committing some horrible local sin even by touching him, perhaps condemning him to the scorn of his community if anyone found out, but absolutely nothing happened. The difference in our ages, and the fact that my companion knew I was married and that my husband would return in a few hours, may have been factors. I don't know. In any case, he was a true gentleman.

So: on the few occasions when I was alone in Pakistan, I felt safe and was never treated with anything less than courtesy. I could imagine returning to Pakistan and doing a similar trip on my own, if my husband could not come. But I have to stress that we had a guide and driver with us nearly all the time. I think it would be hard for anyone, male or female, to undertake a long trip in Pakistan without a guide - at least on your first visit. It takes a while to get the hang of things.

I'd be interested to hear comments from anyone, especially women, who have travelled in Muslim societies.

Did you ride the motor cycle side-saddle? How do the women generally ride motorcycles?

Hello Femi,

I was wearing trousers and so rode the motorcycle "astride," clutching on to my companion, but other women that I saw in Pakistan rode side-saddle. It was my first trip on a motorcycle and quite an exciting trip it was!

Vorkuta, thanks for that detailed and thoughtful response. I think a guide would be the way to go, for certain. I loved reading your report.

Thanks for starting this post Vorkuta because I think it highlights how Pakistan is really not what many people expect it to be. I'm Pakistani but my husband is Scottish and travelling around the country we had absolutely no problems as an inter racial couple - as long as you behave and act according to the customs of the country people are fairly easy going. In regards to communicating with Pakistanis, in the big cities just about everyone speaks English - so don't be wary of approaching locals - people will be genuinely pleased to help. Motorcycle rides are rite of passage in Pakistan - so it's great you got a chance to go on an impromptu tour - if anyone gets a chance to go along with a local (I wouldnt recommend hiring a bike on your own unless you're very experienced) then do it - you may close your eyes at times (in the cities) but it'll be a blast. I say if anyone reading this post gets a chance, do go to Pakistan - especially the northern parts - I dont know if tourism will ever take off (not with the political situation the way it is) but there is still lots to see and explore. And as I mentioned before, if you are wary, then Islamabad is the perfect starting off point - there are quite a few Westerners there because of the embassies and businesses - plus bars, clubs, if that's the kind of thing you're looking for, not to mention being a gateway to the mountains.

Dear Samscomps,

Thanks very much for your sympathetic and informative message.

I've been following the news from Pakistan particularly closely this week and am awfully sorry to hear of the troubles in Karachi and Peshawar. It's all the more saddening to read such news when you have visited a city or country and grown very fond of it. But I'd still return in a heartbeat.

Loved your report and enthusiasm for a fascinating country-would love to visit it myself.