Japanese Host Gift Giving Question
 

I've bought a gift for each of our apartment rental owners and am now wondering if I'm breaching etiquette with my selection.

The gift is a wooden cutting board with a nice map of our island, along with a small knife. It's essentially a cheese cutting board, but could really be used for anything. The map is done in the traditional Dutch Delft blue, since our island is Dutch.

I've bought a white gift bag with red tissue to put each of them in.

Would this be an appropriate gift? Also, is it better to give it upon our arrival or at departure? I just don't know how I would get to them in the bottom of my suitcase and get them wrapped properly right when we get to the apartments.

Any info would be appreciated. :)

Statia, I know that giving a knife or scissors as a wedding gift in Japan is considered very bad luck, and just isn't done. But I think you're OK with this gift, especially if it's a cheese board with the small knife only a minor part of the set.
The wrapping sounds fine--no problems there. I'd give it on arrival, especially since it's from your home and not Japan. Unless you are saying it would be difficult to pack the gift wrapped, and also difficult to wrap it on arrival for immediate presentation. If so, you could give it on departure.
The etiquette of gift-giving in Japan is very complex, but there's a lot of leeway for foreigners. Your thoughtfulness will be appreciated as the major thing.

Give peanut butter. They love peanut butter, especially the crunchy version with jelly mixed in vertically.

Thanks so much for the insight. :)

Cheese board/knives sound lovely. Make sure it's wrapped properly. Give at the beginning of the stay, but don't be offended if the host/hostess won't open your gift on the spot. You might also want to explain what it is.

No, I would NOT consider a jar of peanut butter as an appropriate gift. (And, please, no cake/brownie mix either). You won't know the taste of hosts/hostesses. Food gifts look proper if it is fancy, or some assortment or comes in a box. (Like chocolate box or biscuits in gift tins).

Hi Statia. I was only kidding. I didn't have the heart to let you hand over a jar of cheap novelty peanut butter to an unaware Japanese friend. Who knows, it might have been a hit or you may have ended up dripping with Sakatori sauce.

Well, I don't have the space for the "Goober Grape" in my luggage. And, we can actually get that here now and then in our one small grocery store. But, I figured I would stick with the original gift I purchased.

I will admit however, that DH and I both got a chuckle out of the idea of the peanut butter. Very clever, Mango. If I knew for certain they loved it, I would jump on it.

DH has come down with a severe case of bronchitis mere hours before our departure. Our little hospital here is doing everything they can for him, and I hope he is well enough to travel on this journey we've saved and planned for so long.

Back to make another pot of boiling water to waft over him as he tries to sleep for the 3rd night with no luck for the coughing. What bad timing, considering we've rarely been sick in our 15+ years here.

Thanks again for all the info.

Glad you have a sense of humor :) Can you find out if they like peanut butter for me? I'm guessing that they do. Have a great time :D

Oh, I'm curious now, Mango. I have had a wonderful repoire with them by email so I will probably ask at some point out of curiosity. ;)

Will report back.

Sounds like a nice gift. Maybe wrap it before you pack it into your checked luggage. You could take the gift bag too.

I thought that the custom for gift receiving in Japan was to open it immediately.

What is the Japanese word for cheese? Maybe "chee-zu"?

dextromethorphan for the cough!

I disagree with the previous poster. You should not wrap gifts to carry in suitcase. At some airports where electronic scanners are not available, aiport staff opens suitcases and checks everything. Packages are always opened. In fact I even try to use clear plastic bags sometimes so the people can see instead of opening every little bag I have.
When I visited Japan, I took several boxes of an assortment of candy for gifts. I also took gift bags, tissue and even wrapping paper and ribbon with me, so I did not have to buy there.
When I needeed a gift, it was easy to take out of suitcase and wrap it or put in the gift bag.
Jelly Belly candies were a hit.

I can't imagine an airport in Japan where electronic scanners are not available, and have never experienced any difficulty at airports in Japan with wrapped packages in luggage. Statia was worried about not being able to have time to wrap the present on arrival in Japan but before meeting. So, the decision to bring it wrapped in the luggage is a good one.
Also want to correct this comment: <<I thought that the custom for gift receiving in Japan was to open it immediately.>> It's actually just the opposite. You don't open a present on receipt, unless the giver encourages it. And the giver usually does not encourage immediate opening because it appears as if one is bragging about their gift. The usual practice is to downplay the gift with the words, "This is just a small present, hardly anything at all." (Even better if you can say it in Japanese.) It relieves the recipient of indebtedness.

I would suggest giving the gift when you leave because, as I understand it, it is beholden on the receiver to be extremely effusive in their thanks and not just at the point of receiving it. Therefore they may feel honour bound to keep repeating their thanks throughout the stay.

My reading also suggested that a gift should not be opened in front of the giver. I took several gifts on my recent trip and the receiver did not open them whilst we were present.

This also gives you the opportunity to wrap the gift up properly after you arrive.

Statia, how very cool that you are finally on the eve of your Japan trip!!

I have seen you bookmarking and planning for like over a year on the Asia board. Maybe much longer as i recall you commenting on my trips w/my teens and that was like 3-4 yrs ago.

I love your idea of the cheese board. This is timely because I just flew United internationally a few days ago, and in my carry-on bag I had a kind-of-sort-of cheese board and cheese spreading utensil.

The cheese spreader had no sharp edges at all, totally blunt. The "cheese board" was not a wood board at all- it was a flattened wine bottle w/an engraved seal instead of a paper label, which some very creative person had put into a kiln and flattened out. Very cool gift, but I had major angst re getting it thru security.

Yeah, they screened me and my carry-on, but they let me through (at Dulles).

As previous poster said, if the utensil is not a knife, but is merely a spreader (without any serated edges), hopefully it is ok for the Japanese.

I would not wrap it at all. Just take the bags and tissue w/you, but leave the gift wrapped only loosley in bubble wrap. I chose to have it in my carry on, so I could be sure I knew what was happening w/it. And it made it thru ok! I think the idea of an extra gift, like some chocaolates (I took USA chocolates, Giradellhi) takes the focus off the cheese spreader even more.

Re the broncitis in your hubby-- that is more detrimental than any of the above. Please check back in and tell us how it goes. If you do leave, take antibiotics w/you! If he really has bacterial bronchitis he will need them. Steam won't do it if it is bacterial. And it can be very hard to tell if it is bacterial or viral- it can seem viral, AND CAN EVEN TEST VIRAL, but then switch. And if he starts the trip immunocompromissed, no telling where he could end up without antibiotics.

Buenos suerte! Bien viaje! (Can you tell I m getting ready for a trip to Peru con mi hijo?)

Thanks for all the further advice. It's now too late for me to buy any other additional gifts due to the stores being closed and not opening again before our departure. I plan to give the gifts on departure because I also thought about the recipient feeling that it should be reciprocated.

emd, yes I've been wanting to go for a very long time and planning for over a year.

Hubby is doing better (thank goodness), but now I'm not feeling so good. So, we're taking off with neither of us being 100% and hoping for the best that we don't get really sick on the last leg of the trip (14 hours), or while there. Say a prayer for us! :)

I'll post a trip report when we return.

Looks like I won't have to worry about the gift issue, after all. DH became more ill last night, we never slept, and at 3 a.m. decided we had no choice but to cancel our trip. We are heartbroken, but firm believers that everything happens for a reason.

We will try to rebook again next fall. :(

Statia, I'm so sorry to hear that you have had to cancel the trip. I know that it has been something you have been dreaming about and planning for quite a long time.

The only saving grace is that you were able to make the decision before you left rather than realise a day or two in the trip that you had made a big mistake by coming.

I trust that your husband makes a full recovery and that you both get a chance to enjoy Japan properly sometime in the future.

Statia - I am also so sorry to hear you had to cancel. I have been seeing your posts about your trip now for a long time. To start a trip being ill, I think, is not that wise. I also am canceling my trip to Japan scheduled for 11/12 as I have a knee issue which does not lend itself to traveling with a JR pass and staying in five different places. ;-) Last year when I was in Japan I fell on my first day there and broke my fifth metatarsal and had to come home. So I can certainly commiserate with you.

Hi Statia- You did the right thing, don't feel bad. I had to cancel my Thai trip recently due to opening a new business. It was painful, but we will be going in April now. Its better that your husband work on his health. I'm not sure if bronchitis can be fatal, but stranger things have happened. Get well please (Go buy some goober jelly/peanut butter!:)

I so hate hearing about trip cancellations! I hope all of you recover fully and are able to thoroughly enjoy a trip at some later date. Best wishes.

Thanks everybody. It was a hard blow to decide to cancel after planning and preparing for over a year, but we now realize we made the right decision. DH was hospitalized today and could be on the verge of pneumonia.

We lost a lot of money on fully paid apartments that were non-refundable canceling 3 hours prior to departure, but a smalll price to pay for him not having moved into the pneumonia stage on a 14 hour flight. He is being well taken care of in our little hospital here. We are bound and determined to start re-booking everything in January for next November.

Thanks again for the wishes. :)

Oh, and Mara....best of luck with the knee surgery. I see that there are a lot of people here who know how we feel and that is quite comforting. :)

Statia - No travel insurance, oh dear, I learned my lesson about that a while back.

Oh, so far no one's mentioned surgery for me....

Here's hoping your husband gets well soon and you can reschedule and have a wonderful trip.

Very sorry to hear about this unfortunate turn of events. Anyone who has travelled very much at all has experienced illness just before departure, while they're away, or on return. All of us remember these occasions, and sympathize with you. It is difficult to change plans, but you did the right thing. Best wishes for a good recovery and the renewal of your plans for a wonderful holiday. With the return of health comes an upsurge of hope.

Thanks, WillJame. :)

We've traveled extensively in Europe and have honestly never had an incident with health issues on trips prior to this. We live in the tropics and the climate must agree with us because we have rarely been sick since moving here years ago.

We have decided to reschedule for mid-November next year and I will be getting on those plans come January. And, many of our rental agents have been more than accommodating in going against their cancellation policies under the circumstances. I'm overwhelmed with their generosity. So, the funds lost won't be as bad as we anticipated.

Mara, I'm glad to hear there are no surgery plans for you in the near future. But do take care of that knee! :) And, I do hope you get back to Japan soon.

Mango, I'll be sure to add Goober Grape to the list next time. ;)

Hubby is resting somewhat peacefully in the hospital tonight and I'm hitting the hay after no sleep for over 48 hours now. Bags are still packed and by the front door. We hope to now make it to Houston a week from today if he is well in order to visit family so that not all of our vacation time is lost.

Thanks again for the comfort my Asia Board Fodors friends. I'll keep you posted on the next "go round" of plans.

Hope your DH gets well soon [-o<

glad you're feeling more up, Statia. Hope DH clears up soon :)

Thanks, mrwunrfl and mango...he's finally home tonight and resting peacefully for the first time in a week. There are much worse things in the world than missing a trip to Japan (although it was quite a blow). He's still with me and on the mend and that's all that really matters at this point. :)