"Somewhere between 45 and 60 you fall off the Jimmy horizon." Maybe that explains the singular lack of Jimmies in my time in Kolkata. Aside from the exceedingly annoying guy who absolutely refused to let me walk around New Market on my own. Maybe I just didn't recognize him as a Jimmy.

Those guys ain't Jimmys, thursday. They're just a pain in the arse. I nearly thumped one the other day for doing the exact same thing. If it wasn't so late here, I'd tell ya about it.

Proper Jimmys have a certain grubby charm and a line of chat that would strip paint from an old picket fence. You know it immediately. They would never be so crass as to cross the line. You have to cross it.

There's the trick.

"I nearly thumped one the other day for doing the exact same thing." Pity you didn't, lol. I annoyed the guy annoying me so much, he yelled after me not to come back when I left!

Oh Dogster, how did I miss this until now. I am truly touched that you found the time to help me with my endless questions in the midst of all of this!!

PLEASE keep going..(I was going to say "please keep it up.")


xxx A fan

"Dogster, 98 replies and counting, but waaaay more hits"

grrrrgrrrr.....OK I admit it Kathie, I'm following along too, grrrrrggrrrrr!

Dogster, how was your afternoon with "the girls"? - LOL :D

Jaya, my afternoon/evening with the girls was what I was referring to in my reply to Marija. I truly don't know when it will pop out. Today I'm on a plane, so I'm not in the zone, right now. I'm off to Gordon House in Mumbai. Check these fantastic reviews:

http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Rev...harashtra.html

lol lol lol.

Dunno if they have wireless, dunno anything. I'm heading, bit by bit, for the edge of the known civilized world. On March 5th I drop off. Free-fall from then on in. I'll reappear, a lot grubbier, in Udaipur three weeks later.

I'm so pleased I slotted this 6 nights in Kolkata. I was wreckage when I arrived. Now, despite missing eyebrows, a sore back, long toes and the worst haircut in India, I'm feeling almost strong enough to continue. There'll be a brief battering of Jimmys in Mumbai - I'm in Colaba, Jimmy Central - but I'm scraping the bottom of that infinite barrel. As I think you can read above.

I've found a new pit. I spent six hours staring into the maw. Then I had to clamber out, fast - for fear of my immortal soul. I think I'll go for more elevated pursuits for a while. I need art, dancing and beauty, simplicity and calm.

I'm still shaken, in a profound way, from my close encounter with the Devil. So, if I'm to share that experience - I want my words to be very, very precise.

Now, I have to close this laptop and catch my flight. See ya in Mumbai.

Looking forward to seeing you in Mumbai - have a good flight - Kingfisher I presume, and a good couple of days before you drop off the edge. Sounds like you've picked an "interesting" hotel - such reviews - hope you've got a bolt hole lined up. Do look after yourself!

Look forward to your next instalment and views of Gordon House Dogster as we stayed there in December 06 .

Love the position .Found our room a little noisy - more to do with staff chatting outside the room and the open atrium rising from ground level .

Did not love the staff and in fact found them a bit off hand but then again it does not bill itself as 5 star etc .And I recommend the fresh pomegranate juice at Cafe Leopold which is just around the corner from your hotel .

Will you post your itinerary as promised so we can follow along, conjuring up adventures for you in your absence?

Hiya Dogster. Hope you achieve the zone quite deeply in Mumbai. Hope all is swell.

Dog
I've not had the time to sit down and read this thread in its entirety yet. Must do it though. I've read snippits. Love your writing!! You have a growing fan club here.

Carol

Well Marija, I just happen to have that information close at hand.

Mar 4/5
VADODARA: TAJ GATEWAY
http://www.thegatewayhotels.com/inde...&page=Overview

Mar 6 - 9
KAVANTH: IN A TENT
Kavanth Fair/Chhotra Udepur Fair

Mar 10/11
CHHOTRA UDEPUR: KALI NIKETAN
www.nivalink.com/kaliniketan/index.html
HOLI

Mar 12/13
BALASINORE: GARDEN PALACE
http://gardenpalacebalasinor.blogspot.com/

Mar 15.
AHMEDABAD: House of M.G.
www.houseofmg.com

Mar 18.
ZAINABAD: Rann Riders
www.rannriders.com
incl: Night in CAMEL CART

Mar 21/22
DANTA: Bhavani Villa
http://bhavanivilladanta.com

Mar 23 - 26.
POSHINA: Darbardadh Poshina
www.poshina.com
Mar 24/5/6: The Chitra Vichitra Fair

March 27 – 31
UDAIPUR: JAGAT NIWAS
www.jagatniwaspalace.com
Mar 29/30/31 UDAIPUR MEWAR

April 1
DELHI: THE IMPERIAL
www.theimperialindia.com

I'd put money on 50% of it changing.

It's very late here in my cyclone at Gordon House, I'm too tired to write and it's too noisy to sleep. This is what sleeping pills are for.

Thanks! If you don't surface in Udaipur we'll at least know where to start searching. Mark your trail...

Haha. You're a maniac, Dog :D

Dogster
I think I was trying to find the name of an obscure hotel in Asia. Like all good internet searches, zigging rather than zagging, the next thing I knew I was voyeuristically surfing through Fodor’s Asia forum. I didn’t plan to like it there – but I got lucky, in that sharp stick at the right moment sort of way. So I have been here since Bhutan, learning more about myself with every chapter you write. I have been trying to shake the tourist for a while now – lose her in a crowded side street, sacrifice her to the touts. But in some hotel mirror, I am always so disappointed to see that she is still along for the ride.
The more I read from you, the where and what you are doing becomes less important to me – it is the how and the why I find so challenging and intriguing. Your prose is acute - unsettlingly, beautifully vivid, the questions posed so tangled with poetic lyrics – I am never sure if I want to be you, or avoid you. Your writing is exactly what I was looking for, fuel to grow.
The artistic soul is a restless companion. Your creative talents, though perhaps detoured to this new muse, are much appreciated by this reader. Thank you – the lights don’t reach this far, but know I am out there, taking it all in.

tyro - that's a beautiful reply. I've written three lengthy answers, all of which have been eaten by this crap wireless connection I'm on. Maybe it's telling me something. Your words meant a lot.

Thank you.

To the rest of you reprobates - yup, I made it alive. With the luck of the Dog I given an upgrade from cattle to business class, met a Bollywood film star and saw the tallest man in India. He was HUGE.

Then I arrived at Gordon House. Mmmm. More on that later.

[I'm scared to write more - everything gets swallowed and thrown away]

Glad to hear you've arrived safely and in the comfort of biz. I look forward to hearing about the Gordon House.

Hi Kathie: arghhhh - how can a place have it so right and get it so comprehensively wrong? This place has been driving me crazy since I arrived. It's a pefectly nice boutique hotel with one tiny flaw - you can't sleep in it.

The rooms on the street side of the hotel bounce with noise from the disco below, the 'quiet' rooms on the other side have a blizzard of white noise from a bank of air-conditioning units lined up like jet motors right outside the grubby windows.

Oh, I forgot to mention the construction site next door.

The staff has heard it all before. Every complaint, every weeping guest at 2.00 a.m., every outraged early departure. It's not as if they can do anything.

The reality here is that the core business is the restaurant and disco. The hotel is a boutique afterthought. They couldn't really give a stuff, I suspect. There'll always be another dumb punter who hasn't read Trip advisor. Very nice, in a kind of European way - grossly overpriced, as usual. But it's broken. Can't be fixed.

LEt me say - in the strongest terms: do NOT stay here.

It's 11.22 p.m. in room 407. I'm on the fouth floor. I can hear the disco, it's loud; feel the beat of drums in my floor. Gordon HOuse has begun its nightly guest-torture. You can have it too - only $220 a night. I want to kill them - but there's no one to kill.

That's the pisser - there's no solution, therefore no complaint worth making - and nowhere to direct the punters rage. I see it on the face of the few guests stumbling bleary to breakfast. They hate it too. So, if the staff seem a little distant - they're just waiting for the inevitable complaint. All they see is misery.

Unspeakable. As the night wears on they turn the disco UP. They know you hate it before you even check in. They're right.

I'm a little tired, so I'm being restrained in my criticism. One day I'll tell you what I really mean.