China in October, 2010 for 3 weeks or so.....
 

A friend and I, both reasonably well-travelled women in our 60's, are planning to visit Beijing, Shanghai, Xian and Hongkong as well as take a Yangzi cruise for 3 days or so. We are undecided about whether to book on with a tour group or hire a car with driver and guide. We would appreciate any advice on which of these methods to choose, along with hotels suggestions and ideas for what to see aside from the obvious sites in these cities. Also, any experience with the Yangzi cruise boats would be welcome.

Thank you in advance...

As you're "reasonably well-traveled", my suggestion of which to choose is...neither! It's quite easy to get around in China independently, particularly with the sites you've chosen.
If you do decide you want to go with a tour group, OAT has an interesting itinerary to which you can add Shanghai if that's a must for you: http://www.oattravel.com/Trips/2010/...iver-2010.aspx

When I was planning my trip to China, I was advised often that the Yangtze river cruise was really not worth the time investment. If you like the idea of three days of leisure (that is, not much to do!) as a break in the middle of the trip, it might work for you, but I was glad that I hadn't allotted the time for it when I read others' accounts of it.

Hotels of course depend so much on your price/comfort level. As my trip was some time ago, I can't give you recommendations that would be authentic, but I enjoyed Sim's Cozy Guesthouse as much as the Hotel Marco Polo in Beijing, just in different ways.

Here's my trip report for some idea of getting around on your own without one bit of the language (and with a really bad sense of direction): http://www.fodors.com/community/asia...s-in-china.cfm

Please provide more details. When are you going and for how long? What is your budget for hotels, and what do you enjoy seeing? Are you arriving in Beijing and departing from HongKong?

Before you decide to take a tour I suggest reading PeterN_H's post on this thread: http://www.fodors.com/community/asia...ritz-tours.cfm

In terms of what to see this is also worth reading: http://www.fodors.com/community/asia...-itinerary.cfm

I (female now over 60) have traveled in China with a high-end tour group (Smithsonian), a budget tour group (Intrepid) and on my own (for 7 weeks). I enjoyed all three visits, but the solo trip was easily the most fun. BTW, I did the solo trip by public transport - trains and buses - with a car and driver just a couple of times for day trips.

Shanghainese.....Our budget, for about three weeks in China,beginning around the 8th, is $4000. plus international airfare. We don't really know how that money will be divided...haven't done enough research yet. Yes, we'd like to fly into Beijing, visit Xi'an, Shanghai, Suzhou and depart from HongKong. Our interests are more cultural...altho a cooking class or two would be fun. We want expecially to see the Forbidden Palace, the Hutongs, the Great Wall.....the list is quite long, as you can imagine. We've decided to forego the Yangzi cruise, based on advice on this and other forums. Any advice or a suggestion for another city or two would be welcome. We do like the idea of boutique hotels and/or courtyard hotels, where possible.
Thanks, Cathio

The 8th of which month, please? $4,000 is a nice budget to cover hotel, food, sightseeing and travel within China. Good decision to forego the cruise, check on this forum and other sources for the Guilin/Yangshou area and Yunan province (Lijiang, Zhongdian, etc.) to decide which one to add to your itinerary for some experience still on the tourist routes but away from the large cities.