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I detest traveling. I detest long flights even more

I detest traveling. I detest long flights even more

Old Oct 5th, 2022, 01:45 PM
  #41  
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Originally Posted by LucieV View Post
If you're under 110, and if you've got an experienced guide, you'd be fine.

I just want to say how much I like your screen name.

I'm kind of baffled by all those saying that your marriage is doomed because your wife likes to travel and you don't like to travel.

But I'm also baffled by your feeling the need to do something you don't like doing just because your wife wants to do it.

(And then again, as I've stated many times, I'm also baffled by the assumption that people who like to travel are in any way superior to those who don't like to travel.)
The Screen Name comes from a couple of Podcast I used to do.

My marriage isn't doomed and neither is time with my wife. I've said it again and again--I will do absolutely anything for my wife. My problem is that I find zero value in travelling. It exhausts me. There is nothing relaxing about jet lag and armpits whether they be garbage holes across an ocean or Vancouver--which is a dirt pile of filth, by the way. Spent way too long there for business and I was only there one week a year.

My thing about the superiority complex of these advanced beings called "travelers" is that they immediately roll their eyes and discount that even a successful, functional, human being can dislike travel. I could afford to go anyplace in the world--tomorrow. Can't be bothered. I love working and well... working and... more working and... working more and... Travel seems so counterproductive. Working to pay piles of money to go elsewhere to do something that I derive no financial, spiritual or social benefit from isn't sensible. Now on the flip side---My wife is what matters and if makes her happy and connects us even more; I'm not turning it down. I'm not saying I won't do it. I'm saying, I'd rather not... My wife gets anything and everything she wants. Full stop. I need to find a way to reduce or manage her travel demands with me especially on destination and distances. I don't want to go to bloody North Africa. I don't want to go to Africa at all. Ever. Never, ever. I will though--once. I'm German by heritage and I don't ever want to go to Germany FFS.

Maybe it's the spectrum I live on... If I can't justify the expense, I don't want to do it. Or... Can't do it. Aaarghh!!!
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 01:51 PM
  #42  
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@BLGB

I will spend every second with my wife. I'll shop with her, I'll do anything. I certainly don't want any buddies around when I'm with her. I don't have many, anyway. I'm not one for "buddy time." it's a little silly in middle age to go on a vacation with another couple. I like my wife uninterrupted.
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 01:56 PM
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Speaking of a dead horse, you've more than adequately made your point that you don't like to travel.

No one begrudges you that and a number of people find some of your dislikes & issues relatable. Others have offered you suggestions for coping with your dilemma.
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 02:00 PM
  #44  
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WeisserTee
I tried to get her to think about places like that but then she went full race card on me and pulled the: "You only want to go to white places" schtick. I'm German---My father hated Germany and returned only once to prove just how much. I sure won't go there. I wouldn't want to go to Italy, either. Who wants to sit outside at a cafe eating spaghetti and drinking beer in 100 degree heat surrounded by poorly made, exhaust belching Italian cars? Spain? For what? Barcelona? Why? Nope. Greece. Uh-uh. The places are crowded. Space, safety and peace and quiet is all I want. Museums? Bah! Food? I can get food anyplace. Culture? Culture is for petrie dishes.
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 02:05 PM
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oxbgirl:

I'm sorry you're not enjoying the commentary but I'm having fun with some people. It's known as engaging others. I'm also a high functioning autistic. Now that you've mentioned that I've only done an adequate job of making my point, I see now, that there's still work for me to do.
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 02:26 PM
  #46  
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AT, I don't claim to be an expert but I do know a few people on the spectrum and that information does provide more insight into your situation I apologize for doubting you when I first read your post. I hope you and your wife will find some middle ground when it comes to travelling.
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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 02:41 PM
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Originally Posted by AgentWhittaker View Post
oxbgirl:

I'm sorry you're not enjoying the commentary but I'm having fun with some people. It's known as engaging others. I'm also a high functioning autistic. Now that you've mentioned that I've only done an adequate job of making my point, I see now, that there's still work for me to do.
Don't sweat it. You are engaging enough.

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Old Oct 5th, 2022, 04:50 PM
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The hard part is knowing what to leave out, or when to stop.
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Old Oct 6th, 2022, 05:51 AM
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It's beginning to sound like a Meatloaf song - I will do anything for love but I won't do that.
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Old Oct 6th, 2022, 07:13 AM
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Originally Posted by hetismij2 View Post
It's beginning to sound like a Meatloaf song - I will do anything for love but I won't do that.
That's great!!! LOL!
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Old Oct 6th, 2022, 06:42 PM
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Not to hijack the thread, AW, but by any means do you have a gay brother with similar traits who is single? Asking for a friend.
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Old Oct 6th, 2022, 07:43 PM
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Hee, hee Seamus.
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Old Oct 8th, 2022, 11:13 AM
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Originally Posted by AgentWhittaker View Post
Ten Things I'd Rather Do Than Travel:

Sit on my dock and listen to silence for a week uninterrupted--except for my beautiful wife of course
Take a walk through my forest and take in nature
Get up and go to work everyday
Build something
Stain my deck
Entertain a few musician friends, play music and drink wine
Wrench on my car, lawnmower, or something
Spend a week with my step kids hunting or fishing
Chop and stack firewood
Skin a porcupine
De-fur a skunk
Eat the crotch out of a dead horse
Cleanse my body with rotten fish

There's more. I know there is.
Ok, good list. I scratched the one thing you won't be doing if you don't go.

If you don't go, i.e. make this decision all about you, then your wife will be unhappy and so will be the kids and the Egyptian family. Negative feelings all around, except for you, sitting on the dock of the bay by yourself with the wife 6000 miles away.

If you go and focus on doing what makes her happy then the kids and family will also be happy about. Even you could be happy about going when you see the positive feelings that you create.

Either way, the feelings will last the rest of your time together. Maybe 50 years. If you don't go then you will never be able to make it up. But you know about the "happy wife, happy life" saying.
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Old Oct 9th, 2022, 05:26 AM
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Originally Posted by mrwunrfl View Post
Ok, good list. I scratched the one thing you won't be doing if you don't go.

If you don't go, i.e. make this decision all about you, then your wife will be unhappy and so will be the kids and the Egyptian family. Negative feelings all around, except for you, sitting on the dock of the bay by yourself with the wife 6000 miles away.

If you go and focus on doing what makes her happy then the kids and family will also be happy about. Even you could be happy about going when you see the positive feelings that you create.

Either way, the feelings will last the rest of your time together. Maybe 50 years. If you don't go then you will never be able to make it up. But you know about the "happy wife, happy life" saying.
I'm all about that. Oh, believe me, I know I'm going. I just have to be able to ensure that she understands that I don't do crowded areas---Tourist garbage like the triangle thingy's in the desert that people think matter--that's the one thing I might do, even though looking at Pyramids seems really, really stupid--- A bus in Cairo filled with dregs and suicide vests--not my thing. A market or bazaar---no chance. I need her to compromise. I've already resigned myself to going someplace I'm terrified of. (Because a Christian man married to a Muslim woman, visiting Egypt seems such a good idea... What could go wrong?)

the more I work through this, the more I see that a) I am 100% hopelessly travel averse and b) my wife is currently not willing to compromise but expects me to. So what I'm focusing on now are resorts in Egypt. Not hotels in cities---Perhaps if we do a place with pools, and activities far from the crap, I could have a partial win. I also don't want to fly for 13 hours. I'll murder myself after hour 5 so I'm suggesting we make a two day stop someplace reasonable, that isn't an arm pit and then continue on the journey. Instead of two weeks, go for three and give me a place to regroup and mellow into the trip.

She has to realise that if she wants me to travel, she can't expect me to go to a place that is as unsettled, terroristic, violent, murderous, disgustingly unclean, and brutally uncultured as Egypt and then expect me to go on another trip that she feels she needs to take me on. I'll waste 20K on this and if it's a f*ck up, I'll never spend a dime on a trip again. I'd rather spend money on things that are more important--a new bathroom, a kitchen reno, an addition on the house... This whole thing just seems like a frivolous waste of time, effort and money to have your husband pay to take you and the kids to a place he'll hate simply because your lineage starts there.
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Old Oct 9th, 2022, 05:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Seamus View Post
Not to hijack the thread, AW, but by any means do you have a gay brother with similar traits who is single? Asking for a friend.
Yeah but we sent him on a trip to Egypt for graduation and he got thrown off the top of an apartment building. He probably shouldn't have been singing show tunes, wearing sequined shorts during a revolution but hey... He was posthumously given the Darwin Award so there's a little bit of a silver lining, I suppose.

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Old Oct 9th, 2022, 05:42 AM
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I was going to make a constructive suggestion, but after that last post?

However - you have had a good whine, now if you are actually going how about doing some constructive thinking instead? Key question - are you going to be staying with family? That will affect any itinerary.

Buy or borrow some guide books, they should give you a clearer picture (no culture in Egypt - one of the world's first civilizations!?). Consider a Nile cruise, you will be insulated from the countryside. I believe there are resort hotels on the Red Sea, it is/was a big diving destination. Go over to the Africa board and ask for some practical help.
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Old Oct 9th, 2022, 07:38 AM
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I get that you are travel averse, but your description of Egypt is offensive at best. No culture? Perhaps you should do some actual research on the history of the country you keep bashing.

<<<she can't expect me to go to a place that is as unsettled, terroristic, violent, murderous, disgustingly unclean, and brutally uncultured>>>

The same can be said for much of the US.
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Old Oct 9th, 2022, 07:47 AM
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Are you assuming that the Agent is from the US?.

Last edited by mlgb; Oct 9th, 2022 at 08:20 AM.
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