I would think of it as getting a terrific bargain if I could get a business class seat for the cost of economy, if that is what the OP's wife actually got.

>>>Guess it takes all kinds. In the scheme of things it is only 8 or 10 hours out of a whole vacation . . . does anyone really need that much togetherness?<<<

I'm surprised at the people in my office that talk to their SO's at least 20 times during the work day.

Is much work getting done? ;)

kybourbon: Guess those are a helicopter spouses :)

I don't see any issue with a couple wanting to sit together. There is nothing unusual in that. Perhaps some of you need to look at your relationships with your partners. LOL

My wife would not care whether she was getting a first class seat or not, if she was not going to be sitting with me. Her priority would be being together, not enjoying a free upgrade. Is that really so unusual or hard to understand? (and yes I asked her before writing this)

Comments about things like jealousy etc. directed at the OP are ridiculous. They both WANT to sit together. Is that so hard to understand? He is not asking for them both to be upgraded, he is willing to have them both sit in Cattle class! He isn't asking for MORE, he is asking for and saying they would be happier with LESS.

The chances are the OP can easily get what they want, to be together. The chances are the person sitting next to him in Cattle class will be more than willing to exchange seats with his wife.

That's the answer and all the OP needs.

"The chances are the person sitting next to him in Cattle class will be more than willing to exchange seats with his wife.

Wouldn't it be funny if his seat was next to a couple and when he offers the ticket up front, the man would take it leaving his own wife behind in economy? Or even better i

"The chances are the person sitting next to him in Cattle class will be more than willing to exchange seats with his wife.

Wouldn't it be funny if his seat was next to a couple and when he offers the ticket up front, the man would take it leaving his own wife behind in economy? Or even better if he gives the ticket to his own wife to advance while he stays behind in economy?

I say consider yourself (or your wife) really lucky and be very, very quiet so AlItalia won't notice the mistake and take back the upgrade.

I could care less if we sit together. We have lots of "together time". If I got an upgrade and hubby tried to have me downgraded to sit with him.....look out! Its a wonderful treat for the wife. Maybe they can trade places halfway through and each one get some decent sleep in a larger space.

And...I agree, darn near anyone in coach would make the swap with wifey in Bus Class. Just ask me! I'll do it.

<<< That's the answer and all the OP needs >>>

Well, I'm glad that that is now finally settled.

Bottom line is: if you have ever flown business class or first class overseas you would run not walk to stay up there despite your spouse sitting in economy.
In all my years of being a flight attendant, I have NEVER seen a spouse give up their seat "up front" to sit with their spouse back in economy.
I think that a man on my flight from London this week kinda summed it up:
He was upgraded as he was a valued flyer but his wife was on miles. He begged to have her upgraded too but after being told No he said to me "tell her that I am sorry but to enjoy her free beer and wine back there". Enough said...
And as to evaluating your relationship? Everyone I know would NEVER give up a free $$$ seat overseas to sit back in economy just because they had to sit away from a loved one for 8 hours?

My husband would be the one upgraded in this situation and i would never insist he downgrade. The same price for a business seat in miles is a tremendous bargain, I would be happy for my husband.

I think someone complaining about being separated from their spouse for one flight might have more relationship issues than those who think its no big deal.

Maybe this thread should be moved to the Fodorite Lounge.

It isn't about what any of YOU would do or not do.

The OP wants to sit with his wife. Either both in business or both in cattle class. Yes anyone with half a brain would prefer business but not everyone would be willing to be separated. I don't know what it is you can't get about that.

Just accept that is what the OP wants and what YOU think about it or what YOU would do is irrelevant.

And for the record, if I were given an upgrade but my wife was not, I would be trading with someone in economy. It wouldn't even be a decision, it's a non-decision. We fly together. To get two seats together is the ONLY time I would fight for a seat change when flying.

Just to answer a few of the questions and comments given above. I resent Phillyfans assertion that wanting to be together implies we have relationship problems. In fact, it appears that you may have relationship problems with most people given your attack upon my wife and myself.

I appreciate all of your comments but want you all to understand that there really are some people who just enjoy being together even for only an 8-9 hour flight.

This trip is for our 45th anniversary and we like to talk, listen to movies together and lean on one another when tired. We share our meals and assist one another whenever needed.

I recognize that she will be more comfortable in first class and insisted that she stay there which she is.

I only wanted to know for general information if this was common or not, I did not want it to descend into some psycho-babble discussion of our relationship by untrained people who try to assume that their issues may be common to others.

It may be time for me to stop even attempting to contribute to any discussion on this site.

Yours,

David jac

Well said David. What YOU want is what YOU want.

Frankly, those who can't understand it need to examine their relationships rather than suggesting you do.

Davidjac - I'm sorry for upsetting you with what I said. I actually wasn't commenting on your post, but on Improvisers assertion that all of us on this thread who believe it isn't a huge problem to be separated from our spouses for one flight need to examine our relationships.

dutyfree noted that she has never seen someone refuse an upgrage to sit with their spouse - she is a flight attendant! So this situation has come up and many people react the same way several of us on this thread would.

I know how I much I dislike when people assume some big pyschological diagnosis from one of my posts, so I understand your frustration with what I said. You did, however, sound less than happy for your wife and a little whiny when you said you would be "languishing" in coach with no meal - which we know is not true.

I was in a similiar situation to you, but on a short domestic flight (where the upgrade to F isn't as plush). My family of 4 was seated in our coach seats on the way to Florida, and a flight attendant came to locate my husband to tell him an upgrade to first was available and they could move him. At first my husband said No, and that he was traveling with his family, but I spoke up and told him to GO. I was fine for a short flight and while I know he wasn't going to get a lavish meal, he would be able to enjoy a couple of free beers. I didn't feel like I was "languishing" behind.

I understand and think it's nice you want to sit together. Happy 45th anniversary and best wishes for many more. And again, please accept my apologies. I hope you have a wonderful trip.

I totally understand your feelings,david jac. My husband and I want to sit together on long flights, and 8 hrs. is long to us. Even if we're on our way to begin a 27 night cruise, we want to sit together during the flight. It's part of the fun, adventure, and whole experience when traveling. We enjoy each others company very much, which I think has helped us to be happily married for 47 years. We rely on each other for meds., pillows, blankets, books, snacks, operating the entertainment systems, you name it. I sure hope you're able to get your situation fixed to your satisfaction. Best of luck.

<i>"So now we are flying for 8 hours apart with her in a nice seat a full dinner, etc <u>while I languish with no meal, crowded,</u> etc."</i>

David: While you say that your only motive is to fly <u>"with"</u> your wife.....your original post doesn't sound that way. You made it pretty clear that you were the one somehow being given the shaft while your wife was in the lap of luxury...<u>"nice seat, full dinner"</u>. You also said clearly that you attempted to get her downgraded. I think some of us reacted to what you posted. Honestly...to ask to have her downgraded when you couldn't join her for a reasonable price, sounded self-centered to me. Maybe it wasn't meant to sound that way.....but it did.

You also say; <i>"So now we are flying for 8 hours apart"</i>. As I posted, <u>almost anyone</u> will gladly trade. All you need do is ask at the gate at boarding time. Problem of flying apart - solved. So it still sounds like your <u>real</u> issue is that you want to be in Business Class - not that the two of you are determined to sit together. We can only respond to what is written. Maybe you didn't state your issue succinctly enough to elicit the responses you wanted.

Oh how people love to hang their hat on one comment taken out of context.

"dutyfree noted that she has never seen someone refuse an upgrage to sit with their spouse - she is a flight attendant!"

So what PhillyFan? Do you actually think that dutyfree is aware of every instance of an upgrade being offered, on every flight, on every airline? That SHE has not personally encountered someone refusing an upgrade is meaningless. She is one individual reporting on her individual experience. She is not the spokesperson for all flight attendants giving evidence for all flight attendants.

""So now we are flying for 8 hours apart with her in a nice seat a full dinner, etc while I languish with no meal, crowded, etc.""

So what TC? You interpret that as a complaint about not both being in business class. That's ONE interpretation. Another is that it is just a throwaway line (semi-joking). The OP DOES say they tried to downgrade, that is contrary to your assumption that what is wanted is another upgrade.

You then interpret, 'flying apart' as meaning flying together is not the real issue. Again, that is ONE interpretation but the OP's latest response clearly states they WANT to be together and he has INSISTED on her staying with the upgrade.

This thread has now moved to the ridiculous stage of basically calling the OP a liar who does not want to fly with his wife but instead wants an upgrade. He's a 'bad guy' and selfish, etc.

The OP has clearly stated what they want, but no, you all know better than he does what he wants. A case of guilty until you prove (the unprovable) your innocence.

So why are they sitting apart, when the solution to sitting together is so simple?