Airlines announce major changes!
 

It is that time of the year when the airlines announce major changes:

New rules at Continental now mean that your frequent flyer miles will expire after 30 days if there is no activity in your account. If you have a Continental credit card and are not concerned about this, remember, there were 31 days in March.

Delta has simplified their frequent flyer awards. Tired of hearing about people who can’t get an award ticket, all rewards—domestic, international and first class—are now "One Million Miles."

American Airlines will now be turning on the house lights on all night flights and announcing at 2:00 a.m. that it is against American Airlines policy to use Ambien or any form of sleeping pill while in-flight.

United Airlines will begin removing the two-inch padding from the seats and begin moving all seats forward two inches. However, if you would like a bottom cushion, you can rent a mini-pad for $10 from the flight attendant. Ask for a maxi-pad if you need a top and bottom cushion for $20 but remember; the two-inch pad will cut your legroom down to 29 inches.

Because safety is their most important concerned, Northwest Airlines will now be requiring everyone to sit in the brace position during the entire flight. Anyone not bending down and holding his or her ankles during the entire flight will be fined. Wally’s suggestion; don’t eat beans for breakfast and hold ‘her’ ankles.

U.S. Airways has had more complaints on their entertainment channels. It seems that a young boy saw a “Breast” on the Flight Path channel as the plane flew over France. The mother is demanding that that channel be banned.

Jet Blue announced that they did not have any late flights last month. All flights from the East to West coast are now ticketed as a 72-hour flight.

British Airways is announcing a $99 special each way from the United States to London. However, each arm and leg in the "cabin" will be an extra $99 each way.

If any of these changes have you taken by surprise, you may want to check the date on this posting.

All true, except the USAirways one. Isn't the place in France <b>Brest</b>? Did someone misspell it? Or is there an alternate French spelling? Or someplace else altogether?

Unfortunately it looks like my Continental miles will expire uselessly... but thanks very much for the warning. Now at least I'll know why!

wally34949 - you did GOOD!!!

However, I wouldn't be too surprised if Delta lives up to your speculations.....

Thanks for the laugh!!

I think United has already started removing the padding from the seats--at least it felt like it on the 757 between Honolulu and San Francisco night before last.

Guess I need to work on those Brests.

Thanks for all the updates. From now on I will only fly on Aeroflot.

And if Aeroflot has no service between Chicago and LA, I will use my bike. I hate cars.

That's it, I'm driving. Found the following info to get from Chicago to London: http://tinyurl.com/22loa9

&quot;Swim across the Atlantic Ocean. 3,462mi&quot;.

Why jump off at Boston Harbor? That makes absolutely no sense to me. Why not continue to drive to Nova Scotia, or even take a car ferry to Newfoundland before the swim? That should really save some time. Plus, I don't think its safe swim across Boston Harbor.

Weird.

The water should be warmer in Boston.

LOL I didn't get it till ban of Ambien :)) Great post!

I thought there were two Brests...

That's right. Brest in France, Brest in Belarus, and... surprize!! zero in the US.

wally, you RAT, this is a new Fodor's low!! &gt;:O

In the last month I have gone to great lengths to change my membership from AA to Continental. I got the Continental MC and an AmEx card, and I changed all of my auto-billed stuff to CO's Master Card.

I read the first paragraph of your post and skimmed the rest. Then I saw rkkwan &quot;confirming&quot; that all this is true so I believed it. (you're a rat too, rkkwan!! :@ ) Just now I had the phone in my hand, trying to get a live person from Continental to answer. While I was navigating through those horrible menus that answer CO's phone, I saw the last line of your post. To say the very least, I'M MIFFED!!!! X(

&lt;deep breaths....deep breaths&gt;

&lt;wiping sweat off my face&gt;

OK, now that I've had a chance to vent, I must confess you got me. Congrats wally, you are the only person to successfully pull an April Fools prank on me this year. I only regret that I didn't see your post on April 1 when I was on my guard. So wally, I forgive you, as you are the king of April Fools.

And to wally's accomplice, rkkwan, you are forgiven too. But don't be too surprised if you just happen to sit on a thumbtack at the next Houston GTG.... &gt;:-)

This is very funny, thanks.

:-D