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18/F Traveling across country to visit boyfriend. (Need advice from older people)

View Poll Results: Should I be allowed to go?
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18/F Traveling across country to visit boyfriend. (Need advice from older people)

Nov 24th, 2019, 02:13 PM
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 5
18/F Traveling across country to visit boyfriend. (Need advice from older people)


So as you can see by the title, I am 18 years old, and I am planning a trip to go visit my boyfriend of 6 months. We live on separate sides of the United States, and he has come to visit me twice this year. I have the money, and planned out everywhere I would be staying/going, but my parents do not approve. I'm not sure how else to convince them I should be allowed. They aren't worried about my boyfriend, they are worried about me traveling alone. My Dad unfortunately is a very hard listener and does not open up. Although, I understand his concerns, because I have never flown before, ever. I would be stopping at a layover both ways for an hour, and my Dad is extremely worried safety wise that something could happen. Traveling is my biggest dream, and the fact that I planned this whole trip, and can travel alone because I am 18, makes it so hard for me to let them say no.

My biggest thing is, anything could happen anywhere in the world these days, and I understand that I am just barely 18 and that I have never flown before, but I feel that I am responsible and I really want to experience this. Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated!!

(The trip is only 6 nights.)
juls17 is offline  
Nov 24th, 2019, 05:15 PM
Original Poster
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 5
I have not, I just feel wrong trying to do anything for sure without their assurance. Like I have everything figured out I just want to make sure it's okay. My boyfriend thinks I should make the decision on my own, but I don't think that is right.
juls17 is offline  
Nov 25th, 2019, 09:57 AM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 93,074
I'm not sure why your parents don't want you to go, because plenty of 18 year olds take a plane flight on their own. There's nothing dangerous or complicated about what you propose doing. Unless you can get your father to say why he is so afraid for your safety, there's nothing much you can do.

Since you have the money you could just go ahead and do it like your boyfriend wants you to, but I think that is not right and disrespectful of your parents, IF you still live under their roof.
suze is offline  
Nov 26th, 2019, 03:20 PM
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 823
I agree with Suze.
i also wonder if your parents are really more concerned with the time you'll be spending with your boyfriend.
Are you going to a big "scary" city?
Where will you be staying? At his place? With his parents? Have the parents been in touch with each other?
The flights might be the least of their worries.
Good luck.
NGail is offline  
Nov 27th, 2019, 03:05 AM
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 676
Tell your dad you're going to hitchhike across America to meet your boyfriend if that's the only way to meet him.

He's going to book a flight for you on the spot!

And he will take you to the airport to make sure that you're on that flight.

Flying is the second best thing in the world!

Airliners can be pretty boring most of the time(but hopefully not boring for the first time), but try to fly once in a glider or at least a paraglider and you'll see.

By the way, from where to where?

Last edited by BDKR; Nov 27th, 2019 at 04:00 AM.
BDKR is offline  
Nov 27th, 2019, 02:18 PM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 93,074
The poll is silly imo. If you have to ask "should you be allowed?" that just means you are still under your parents rules and afraid to cross them or not do what they say.

If you have the money saved for the plane ticket, you could have bought it already and been on your way. Regardless of anything else. YOU don't think you should do this.... is the bottomline.
suze is offline  
Nov 28th, 2019, 04:18 PM
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 3,396
I don't think the question is that odd. While yes you are young, parents always worry and mine still do and I'm much older than you. I think you should go as long as you feel comfortable with it. You probably are nervous and hearing your parents disapprove doesn't help. Money doesn't sound like an issue and you should believe in yourself.

People for the most part will help you in an airport. As an example, I am on a train right now coming from the airport to go home. As I got to the platform, a young lady was lost and asked for directions. I happily provided them to her as she on the wrong track.
sassy27 is online now  
Nov 29th, 2019, 08:40 PM
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8,091
My biggest concern would be that "just one hour" layover time on each way.
Not knowing where you need to connect, but 60 minutes would be a bit outside my comfort zone at major airports if the incoming flight was just a bit late.
Cowboy1968 is offline  
Dec 4th, 2019, 03:00 AM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 669
I wonder if you have flown much in the past or if your parents have much experience flying?

the flying would not be worrisome to me as a parent. Not knowing the boyfriend or his family would worry me. You didn’t explain how you have a boyfriend across the country. Did you meet him on-line or did he live where you live and then moved across the country? Do your parents know his parents and are they comfortable with their supervision of the two of you?

discuss these things with them. If you don’t have experience flying, go to the
local airport with them and see security and flight information boards and gates if possible to make you all more comfortable. Airports are safe and they should not worry about layovers in my opinion.

our daughter took a 4 week trip from Indiana out west and went back country hiking alone by herself. She hiked the rim to rim in the Grand Canyon, nearly drowned in the Narrows and was out of communication repeatedly while in back country areas. Now that was scary to me. This was when she was 21 however.

I think you should be able to fly but then I don’t know you and your level of maturity and judgement.

Good luck!

Cindywho is offline  
Dec 4th, 2019, 04:45 PM
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 93,074
Unfortunately juls hasn't been back (or at least had not posted anything) since the 1st day.
suze is offline  

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