The Art of Fine Dining with Kids

by Lisa Oppenheimer

My husband and I are not terribly discriminating when it comes to food. This we learned during a trip to Paris a decade ago when, despite being in the land of coq au vin (chicken in wine), we chose jambon et fromage (ham and cheese) as our preferred local delicacy.

Still, even we of the unsophisticated palate were a little disappointed when we found ourselves with children in Chateau Country, downing burgers at the entirely un-Continental Buffalo Grill (for the record: the French don't actually have a word for "ketchup").

Like other parents of young children, Steve and I discovered that the road to family dining isn't paved with foie gras. But adventures in family dining are looking brighter. Upscale eateries that once shunned children seem to be taking note of families. Need proof? The ultra-swank Aujourd'hui at the Four Seasons Boston actually has a kids' menu that includes hot dogs and French fries. There's no children's menu at Spago Beverly Hills, but the famed Chef Puck stocks some highchairs (no booster seats, though) and can prepare special selections such as plain pasta in a pinch.

That's not to say you should doll the little ones up and take them to the nearest five-star trattoria. But it is an invitation to be a bit more daring---a particularly good idea during vacations when sticking to the food chain (Applebees, Ruby's, Etc.) might shortchange the experience. I mean, the inherent charm of, say, Old San Juan, Puerto Rico, is going to be lost if you're dining at Hooters.

Treading unfamiliar culinary territory, including the heady stuff, isn't impossible---it just requires a bit of advance preparation. At the very least you'll want a crayon or pen (two if you have two children) to play hangman. A few other morsels:

Never arrive hungry: Famished children are notoriously miserable children. and Murphy's Law dictates that the hungriest customers will be served last. While you'd ordinarily save their appetites for the main course, avert disaster with bread, crackers, or your ever-present stash of Cheerios or graham crackers---served from your knockoff Chanel clutch, natch.

Be creative: Many restaurants will be happy to adjust grown-up meals---Linguini without the clam sauce, Chicken Parmesan without the parmesan (but maybe with ketchup). Ask before you sit down to see how flexible they are, and be prepared to perhaps pay grown-up prices.

Dine early: A reservation after about 7:30, particularly at a fashionable dining spot, is going to produce tired children---and perhaps unhappy looks from the fashionable crowd around you. Who needs that kind of pressure? The early-bird hour is a much better bet all around.

Be realistic: My own children are well-mannered diners, but not the type for Spago Beverly Hills. Specialty dining such as that requires a special kind of kid, one who enjoys dressing up, can sit relatively still and is entertained by conversation. Save yourself the stress of trying to mold your child into something he or she is not. On the other hand, you may have the most well-behaved cherubs on the planet, but that will be irrelevant if the restaurant doesn't want them. "We don't prohibit children, but we don't recommend bringing them," is a hint. Take it and move on.

Let them eat cake: Small children (and even big ones like me) know chocolate and sugar as their two favorite foods. To try dining in peace, feed the kids their main dish before your dinner reservation (perhaps via room service) and let them eat dessert while you enjoy dinner. It may raise a few eyebrows among your fellow diners, but as long as they're well behaved, who cares?

Keep your sense of humor: The gourmet macaroni and cheese made with real cheddar and parmesan might be unappealing---it probably pales next to the freeze-dried cheese-food product they get at home. Whatever the cause of a meltdown, take heed of the hapless diners around you, pay your bill and leave. You can slowly relish the boxed-up food back in your hotel room after the kids have gone to bed.

If all else fails, try takeout: On our French escape, we bought some fixings at a local boulangerie and enjoyed the fare al fresco, albeit at the playground. Without the stress of the full-service meal, the girls became adventurous enough to sample a new flavor or two---and actually enjoyed them. Bon Apetit!

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