How about going to the Outer Banks and to Rodanthe in particular? Lots of Nicholas Sparks possibilities there or in the villages large and small. You could fly into Norfolk and rent a car for the drive south; you could fly to New Bern and drive from there; from Raleigh Durham but Norfolk would be the easiest.

Much of it wa filmed in and around Southport NC

That's what I was thinking. Just go to Southport.

Southport - http://www.coastalliving.com/travel/atlantic/visit-southport-00414000077857/page2.html

Thanks for the ideas! I think the Outer Banks or Southport are just the places I'm looking for. I really liked the Coastal Living link!

I did forget to mention in my op that I was also looking for moss covered trees and a good canoe/row boat spot. I love the scene in The Notebook where the boat is gliding through the glass like water surrounded by swans. Also Safe Haven had a canoeing scene.

I'm glad you found a good place. When we watched the Nicholas Sparks' movie Message in a Bottle, there was a scene showing the boat and we didn't think it looked like the Carolina coast at all. We thought it looked like Maine and, indeed, it was. According to Wikipedia, Popham Beach in Phippsburg, ME.

Notebook was filmed mostly in SC. I remember seeing them shooting in my neighborhood. Little did I know.

You'll see more Spanish moss south of the Banks.I don't know of any swans anywhere. There are plenty of ducks and geese in coastal waters during winter.

suewoo is on to something -
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0332280/locations?ref_=tt_ft

I'm not that familar with SC locations but there are great places to kayak in coastal Georgia too. I love the marsh kayak tour on Jekyll Island.

Sounds like you need to move down the coast a bit from the Outer Banks to get the canoe/live oaks with spanish moss that you are looking for. Consider Charleston, Savannah, Jekyll Island, etc.