Rules of the Sidewalk

Old Dec 19th, 2014, 01:11 PM
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Rules of the Sidewalk

Christmas is the busiest time in Manhattan, here are some helpful hints. (I have posted these before.)

For NY’ers and Tourists
• WALK TO THE RIGHT, even if you are English, from OZ, or a leftist.
• Do not stop short.
• Do not do pirouettes in the middle of the street when lost.
• Do not walk five across the street as if you are playing Ringo Leevio or Red Rover, Red Rover let Fred Come Over.
• Drink your coffee at the coffee shop. The street is not a cocktail party or your cubicle, so do not hold your drink in front of you.

Here is a real get real data plan
SHUT UP!!! Now we know publicly how petty and inane you are privately.
• Take one ear bud and stick it up your behind, so you will have stereo
• If you must take a call from The President or have a shuffle music emergency, why don’t you stand in the middle of the sidewalk to block traffic.
• Do not pace the sidewalk, you are not home in your jammies and slippers.
• Watch where you are going. You are on the phone, not us.

Just NY’ers
• Do not run, jog, or elbow your down the street between the walkers
• Do not ride your bike down the sidewalk. I know bikers think they are elevated live forms but pedestrians may disagree. And now it is illegal for anyone over the age of 12 to do so.
• Half the bikers do not know the rules, the other half ignore them. Let’s try and change that percentage.
• Sunday fathers-do not use your child’s stroller as a battering ram. If you are mad that you are divorced or stuck with the kids, take it on yourself not us.
• Dog walkers-try not to have the entire 20 foot lead extend across the sidewalk. Someone is going to step on your Chihuahua.

Tourists
• Look at the map either at the curb or next to a building not on a corner, the middle of the sidewalk, by garbage cans already blocking the street, or on the subway steps.
• If you must window shop do it by the windows and not from the middle of the sidewalk with binoculars.
• Jay-walking is a NYC sport. If you are going to wait for a light, get out of the way of those who want to break the law.
• If you are going to look up assign a designated seeing-eye tourist so others can pass.
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 01:18 PM
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Actually jay-walking is a contact sport.
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 01:33 PM
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Jaywalking doesn't exist in NYC because the crossing lights are merely suggestions. Anyone in NYC who stops at a Don't Walk sign when no cross-traffic is present deserves getting knocked over.
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 02:55 PM
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- Don't pretend you're on the phone to get the attention off you when you screw up something.

Its probably universal.
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 03:32 PM
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A couple of notes for tourists with luggage:

When you are pulling luggage you MUST walk indian file - do NOT walk 2 people side by side - since when combined with your bags (most people seem to be trying to manage 2 wheelies each) you are blocking the entire sidewalk

Be aware that there are MANY gratings in the sidewalk (for air in andout of hte subways). If you try to walk on them with your luggage the wheels can easily get stuck - and you are now ready for the 5 o'clock news.

When crossing the street wait for a fresh green light. You can;t get up much speed pulling all that luggage - and if you are caught in the middle of the street when the light changes the traffic will not wait for you/your luggage - they will drive around you - again you are ready for the 5 o'clock news. (Yes, locals will cross even when the light is turning red - but they can run to the other side - you can't.)
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 03:50 PM
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I thought I read something about the city considering a higher level of jaywalking enforcement. This can't be true, can it?
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 05:32 PM
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I know they tried a crackdown early in 2014 but I am not sure if that continued. That is like taking away a Constitutional Right from a NY'er.
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 06:12 PM
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IMDone, great list!! Hilarious!
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 06:43 PM
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Thanks JoJo
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Old Dec 19th, 2014, 07:51 PM
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Boy do I remember the 'jay walking' when we visited NYC, and you could sure tell we were tourists: waiting promptly on the sidewalk for the light to change to green. What were all these people doing...crossing the street on a red light...the horror! We sure looked like tourists. For the first day only, after that we jumped right in, I mean off, the curb and crossed the street on the red light. Felt like such a law breaker. Had a hard time explaining to the kids it was okay to do it in NYC but not at home!
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 02:04 AM
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I would add to the NY/stroller line - think before you buy a $2000 SUS (sport utility stroller) that blocks 1/2 the sidewalk. Your kids are not all that important.
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 04:27 AM
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Next rule: Stepping on the heels of the person in front of you will not make the people in front of that person move any faster.
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 06:25 AM
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Gail
The following is a true story. We know a women who used to brag about luxury stroller which could open cans and sing arias. One afternoon her nanny is walking the baby and a building collapses and the million dollar stroller saved the baby's life. She's was on the front page of the newspaper and the Mayor came to the hospital.

The irony was too evident.
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 09:24 PM
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No matter how madly in love you are, refrain from holding hands
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 09:37 PM
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This made me laugh. Drives me nuts that people don't stay to the right - unfortunately it's usually the locals. Tourists just suddenly stop. And I cringe having to get to work in the rain; it's as if suddenly everyone forgets how to walk. And don't get me started on golf umbrellas.
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 09:47 PM
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absolutkz

What do you think of golf umbrellas?
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Old Dec 20th, 2014, 10:07 PM
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That they belong on a golf course and not in the middle of Times Square taking out eyes within a 3 foot radius or tucked under your arm and sticking out 4 feet behind you.
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Old Dec 21st, 2014, 01:34 AM
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Thank you. If golf was a sport, you would not first learn it when you were 65.
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Old Dec 21st, 2014, 01:45 AM
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Do not walk and text at the same time- I will run you down.
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Old Dec 21st, 2014, 12:55 PM
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Indian file??
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