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Return to Hawaii after 43 years!

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I was 7 years old travelling on the SS Maraposa as one of 5 children. The sad thing is all I remember from our short stopover in Hawaii was seeing Killer Whales and ?live reindeer at the shopping centres. Amazing what a child remembers!
Ok now seriously this time I will qualify for 50+ seniors discount (just!!)along with my husband born in the same year + we will be celebrating our son finishing school (no more school fees!) So we will be travelling with our 17 year old boy and our 19 year old daughter.
We are looking at 3-4 weeks incl travel from Australia from early Dec 2013. Thinking we really want to take things slowly and possibly only 2-3 island during this time. We generally enjoy a quieter pace(ie not the big crowds) and I am thinking a self cater option 2-3 Bedroom house/ condo would suit us best ? budget around $350 - 450/night We want to come home rested so if need be it just may mean we have to come back!
My son and husband both enjoy a bit of body boarding in mild to mod surf, we all would enjoy some kayaking and perhaps a small amount of day hiking. My daughter loves the pools rather than surf and happy to read a book / follow any of the cultural /historical trails. My husband likes his golf so I am sure we will fit that in on one of the many beautiful courses and a little bit of shopping won't go astray....
I have been looking at all the forums it is so hard to decide but thinking ? 5-6 days Oahu/Waikiki/North Shore 10 days Maui and 10 days Hawaii Island or Kauai Island.
I see that the surf is a lot bigger in winter so knowing where we should base ourselves is important. North Shore would be fun to go to even to watch some of the big surfing events. As a comparison we normally spend our xmas breaks at Mooloolaba beach Qld Australia. Having said that Is it worth being in Hawaii for Xmas / New Year and if so where would be the best place to spend this time without enormous expense. (We realize our budget would need to change for this week) So many thoughts here I hope I haven't scared you all away...happy to have any input that you have to offer. We are so looking forward to starting the countdown.
Many Thanks in Advance.

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