DownTheShore

Myself, my wife and kids (ages 2,6,7)plan to relocate to the Research Triangle area of North Carolina. We have some relatives in Bolivia and my in-laws are having a home built there. I currently commute 4 hours per day into downtown Manhattan for my job as a network analyst. I simply want to find a place where I can afford to live within reasonable commuting distance of work. I'd like to be a part of my family life rather than spending 20 hours a week on the train. I cannot afford to move closer to shorten the commute, so we looked for areas with a better quality of life. We visited Raleigh and Cary (Containment Area for Relocating Yankeesgt;)We loved the area and looked at several homes.
My wife is an RN and has had no problem finding employment opportunities. My experience has been a bit more challenging. It has been hard to find firms willing to consider out of state candidates. It is quite tempting to pack up and head down with just my wife having a job waiting, but I'm not sure I should make the leap without having my job nailed down as well. RTP and the surrounding areas seem to have plenty of tech jobs available, but many want local candidates only. Once I'm local I suppose the job search becomes less complex, but I may be at a disadvantage in negotiations. Does anyone have experience to share or opinions on the process of relocation and what is prudent and acceptable practice in the relocation job search?

ncgrrl

They want local candiates only? Hey, I'm local, looking for a new job (but not in your field) and I'm having a hard time. Wake county school had over 6,000 new students this year. Families are moving here. Click on NC and you'll see several relocation threads.

I don't know why it would be a disadvantage to be here while in job negoiations. It might be easier because you won't ask for moving expenses. And you'll make some contacts just from living in the area.

There are too many overqualified people here. Many are underemployed. So finding a job can be a challenge. You wouldn't be the first guy who was a trailing spouse.

For you wife, make sure she discusses parking options at the job. At UNC and Duke you have to pay to park. At UNC (I'm more familiar with it, but probably at Duke too) even though you have a parking spot (well, it's not an assigned spot, just a lot, that is probably oversold), you don't have 'rights' to it during football and basketball games.

One of the hospitals in Raleigh had a radio ad recently talking about free parking for staff (sorry, don't remember which hospital).

KMK

If you really are committed to moving to a certain area AND can survive on your wife's salary - do the move, you'll have an easier time finding a job as a local. That's what my husband and I did, albeit to a different part of the country; I just landed a job today (woo hoo!). Had we waited for an employer to move us...we'd still be waiting.

However, if you MUST have the job and/or are not committed to the move without a guarantee of landing a specific type of job/salary, perhaps the risk won't be worth it to you. You have to recognize that there is a risk that your new career won't measure up to the old in terms of prestige or salary, and if that is more important to you than location - stay put.

But, it is hard not being the local candidate - you have to be SO much better than the locals to be even worth a phone call, in most cases. Even if you let them know up front you don't want relocation expenses, it's STILL a hassle for them to fly you down for an interview & wait for you to move down. I think it is even harder if you are trying to wait for the stars to align such that both you AND your wife have an offer at the same time....

DownTheShore

Thank you ncgrrl and KMK(congrats on the job). All helpful comments.
Our motivation is our family.
The main reason for the move is to make it possible for me to be close enough to work that I'll have something like a 30-45 minute one way commute or less, if possible. Any significant step down from the current 2 hour one-way will enable me to spend more time with my family. Home prices here make that impossible for us to achieve by moving closer to the city or by me working outside the city. My kids will not remember that daddy worked in the city so he could afford to pay the mortgage on our over-priced, over-taxed, very average home. They'll remember the times I was around and those times are becoming shorter and harder to wrest from the job and the commute. Also,I ran from the falling towers on 9/11 so I sort of have this promise to myself and the family that I'd get out of the city. Wake County seems to have good schools, proximity to tech jobs, and a good atmosphere in which to raise a family,but we haven't seen many other places yet. I've heard that commutes are not anything like NY-NJ. We saw homes in attractive communities that are affordable. We could probably survive on my wife's salary(if parking doesn't break us)if we start out in an apartment and rent until I find a job too. The location is more important to us than the job. It would be easiest for the kids if we could find an apartment and eventually a house in the same school system. I've seen rents for 3 BR around $750 in the area and they are MUCH nicer than anything you could get around here for double the price and have plenty of room for the family.
Thanks to both of you for your replies.

GoTravel

DownTheShore, I say go for it.

Give yourself at least 12 months to settle in and get the feel of things.

Can you not transfer with your current company?

What about a headhunter?

capecodshanty

Noone can advise you on what to do but you and your family, putting their heads together. That said, from several experiences when my husband was job hunting, and the chldren were in school, it was very difficult to pick up stakes,not knowing exactly where his job would materialize. Or if it would. Several times we ended up living with parents, until we knew exactly where the offer was going to be, and which town had the good schools, etal. From past experience, I would wait until I had a job, knew the perks, its location, and Go Travel has the right idea- look for a good headhunter in your field. Good Luck!!

dan_woodlief

You should also consider Chapel Hill for the schools; it has other great attributes too. Just about anywhere you move in the area will put you no more than one hour from home, even in heavy traffic (not counting the exceptional traffic backups that can happen on occasion).