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Please help choose (negril or ochos rios) vs (maui or the big island)

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early 30's couple into fun and adventure with sprinkles of rest and relaxation.
Looking for a refined, upbeat and fun vibe (not cancun-esk) but not lights out at sundown either.
Into parasailing, horseback riding, tennis, all water sports, nature hikes etc.. just to name a few.

Trying to chose between Jamaica (ocho rios or negril) and Hawaii (the big island or maui)

4-5 day getaway from LAX so the shorter the traveling distance the better. We're spontaneous and fun but we're not the get up at the crack of dawn couple.
Doesn't have to be romantic but would rather not be surrounded in a place with lots of children/families. Not into the whole mega resort feel, something a little more personal and quiet is ideal, almost like the bungalow seclusion feel but not the too quiet and secluded. Shopping, decent eating and fun fun fun lol
Please suggest

Thank you in advance!

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