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Planning a trip for a group ages 5 to 65 what island?

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We're in the initial planning for a family trip. Thinking of Hawaii or Mexico. My husband and I prefer quiet, non-hotel or condo scene, nature, boogie-boarding.We typically rent a house. Kids prefer action (surfing, restaurants). Grandkids just like pools and nice beaches. Any suggestions what island we should be looking at? My husband and I usually vacation in Mexico, but thought Hawaii might be a good choice for this trip. All together, there would be 8 -10 people. We do have family in Hilo, so I'm also looking at the Big Island, but it requires a stop to get there from Seattle.
Thanks in advance for your suggestions.

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