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Northern California Itinerary/Timing Assistance Needed!

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My husband and I are looking to celebrate our 30th birthdays this year by traveling from the East Coast to N. California Oct 8-13. Based upon flights that I am looking at currently, it works out best for us if we arrive in San Francisco mid-afternoon on the 8th. We will be departing early morning on the 13th. That gives us 5 nights and 4.5 days to squeeze in San Francisco, Napa, and the Monterey/Carmel area. Having never been to N. California before, we do not know best to organize our itinerary, or how long we will need to be in each place to enjoy it. I will say that Napa is where we would like to spend the least amount of time- if we can just visit a winery or two and make a daytrip out of it, we would be satisfied. I would also appreciate any travel tips, must-see/do/eat, and hotel/inn reccomendations! Thank you all in advance!

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