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Itinerary help (especially with traffic): San Francisco, Napa, Carmel

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My husband and I are traveling to SF, Napa, and Carmel in June. Our exact travel dates are a little flexible, but we must be in Napa on Friday night and Saturday night for a friend's wedding festivities. Cheapest flights are arriving on Wednesday. We need to depart on Monday or Tuesday. Would love to make Tuesday work, but might have to live with a Monday departure, as we have wee ones at home. So these are my options:

Option 1:

Wednesday: Arrive in SFO at 1:35 or 5pm. Take public transportation to hotel (haven't figured out where we're staying). Stay 2 nights.

Friday: Pick up rental car and head to Napa for 2 nights

Sunday: Head to Carmel. Stay 1-2 nights.

Monday or Tuesday: Catch flight out of San Jose at 1:35pm.

Option 2:

Wednesday: Arrive in San Jose at 5:40pm. Rent car and head to Carmel. Stay 2 nights.

Friday: Head to Napa for 2 nights.

Sunday: Drive to San Fran, return rental car and stay 2 nights.

Tuesday: Catch flight at 6:05, 8:20, or 10:50am.

As to those options, and speaking to logistics like picking up rental car, airport, traffic and driving only, which do you think is the better option? I'll be posting other questions about itinerary, but for now I'm just trying to decide where to fly in and out of and where to rent the car. I'm limited to SJC and SFO so know that other airports aren't an option. Thanks!

Thanks for your feedback!

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