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East Cost tribe going to Seattle & Vancouver- need TIPS!

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My tribe- family of 5 adults and 4 kids- are visiting Seattle and Vancouver starting on June 10th. However, i've been reading the forum and i can't seem to determine what is the best itinerary if i want to include Victoria. I have some questions:

Given:
i am flying into seattle june 10th. will have a car and rented a home.
my family will have one medium size luggage each, 1 medium for all the kids.
we are scared to fly in small planes.
we are on a moderate budget- not low, but not super high either
our kids are 8,6,4, and 18 months.
three adults are in good health, 2 seniors in good health but with some limitations.
we have not purchased our plane tickets yet, so we could fly into SEA then fly out of Vancouver- or go back to Seattle. Either is fine.
we have 2 weeks for all of this.

Questions:
1) I have to fly into Seattle. Then, is it better to go to Victoria first and then Vancouver? If so, how does one get to Victoria from Seattle? Car? Ferry?
2) or Should i fly into Seattle then Vancouver by train (or car) and then Victoria by XXX ? Go back East from Vancouver or Seattle?
3) Should i skip Victoria and just do Seattle and Vancouver?

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