Steve

I have noticed more and more Moms breastfeeding in public. I am OK with that. Sometimes they do this in a partially secluded area and sometimes in a public area. Do they expect me to avoid this area while they do this? Can I just go on about my business? Should I try to avert my eyes, and should I turn my back to them when possible? Do they even notice that I am there?

james

What's this got to do with a travel forum. Presumably your fascination with globes.....

ilisa

Breastfeeding is natural. Most woman who are completely comfortable with themselves do not expect you to avoid them while they are nursing. The polite thing to do would be to go about your normal business and not stare. You don't have to avert your eyes like you are witnessing some taboo act, but don't stare right at the woman's breasts like you have never seen one before. I have friends over all the time who are nursing. My husband comes and goes, has conversations with them, etc. The key is to not act like a nursing mother is doing something completely sexual or disgusting.

virgin

what if I've never seen a breast before? Can I stare? Can I sit right next to mother and child and watch the event close up? Is picture-taking allowed, how about touching?

maxine

Steve-While your question may be innocent enough, it has no business being asked on a travel forum and it is the type of question that brings out the nutcases, trolls and perverts. Next time, think about what you are posting before you hit the send button....

Steve

In my mind, my question was travel related because this sometimes happens while traveling. The most recent example was a hotel lobby in the chairs near the payphones while I was making a call, and I was just wondering how to act. But it has come up on planes and in stores, too. I didn't intend to cause trouble.

Cindy

Steve, I think I know how you feel. Well, sort of. I was in the furniture section of Crate & Barrel this weekend, and a woman began nursing on one of the couches. There was a cabinet near her, and I wanted to check the price of it, but I didn't want to invade her space, but I didn't want to wait for her to finish, either. So I just went right over and checked the price and pretended I didn't notice the nursing. I suppose she wasn't offended.

The only thing that annoyed me when I nursed in public was when someone would come over and admire the baby while I was nursing. Mostly, I just wanted to be ignored.

cindy

I'll believe this is a sincere question. It's sad that people don't know how to act in the presense of such a normal activity. I found it very hard to go about taking care of my child's needs because Americans have such difficulties with nursing. I remember a friend telling me about a trip to Italy. She had just gotten her dinner, at a restaurant, when the baby demanded his dinner. Seeing how busy the Mom was, the waiter gallently came over and cut up her food so she could eat it with one hand. So matter of fact...
I can't give you advice other than I appreciate your wanting to make women feel more comfortable as they take care of their children. I think you'll be a supportive father, someday.

stephanie

Any decent smart nursing woman will conceal any evidence making it hard to tell that they're even doing so aside from the fact that you can't find the baby's face anywhere in the pile of baby, blankets, Mom's shirt, etc.

I prefer to be ignored when I nurse in public. And, I don't even prefer to nurse in public, but babies don't understand that, they only know that they are hungry NOW! I would imagine most women don't set out hoping that they will need to nurse their baby while they are out shopping or what have you, but sometimes it's necessary. Yes, we notice that you're there because we're thinking, "I hope noone cares that I'm doing this here or watches me." So going about your business is the best bet to keeping both of us as comfortable as possible.

sam

Peeing is a natural and normal function as well, but I don't plan to do it in the middle of a Crate and Barrel! Can't these women find some privacy?

????

I agree that nursing makes people (including the mother sometimes) and should not be done in public. Another surprise, I AM A MOTHER WHO NURSED MY DAUGHTER FOR THE FIRST 3 MONTHS. I would never have done it in public not only because I was afraid it might make others uncomfortable but also because as someone said, going to the bathroom is natural too, but I don't do it in front of people even discreetly. Yes there are times when you are out and your child gets hungry, but I never found it terrible to go to the car to nurse or the ladies lounge area. i would never want people to gawk

Chris

Amen, Sam. Maybe next time I'm in public I'll just find a corner, pull down my pants and relieve myself. After all, it's natural. Right? And if you're in public, well be prepared to stared at okay?

To me, this is the same as blowing your nose at the table, leaning your airplane seat all the way back into the person behind you, or letting your kids run wild in public. Nobody wants to see it. Why must our society center around mothers and their babies? "I have a baby, so everyone else needs to accomodate ME." Whatever.

Mom

I agree with ??? and Sam-When I was nursing, I would go to the Ladies Lounge or my car not only for my own privacy, but out of consideration for others. I also had a bottle of pumped milk available in case I could not go to my car or the lounge. I do not understand why some mothers have to whip it out in public. Whatever happened to decency and decorum??? It just goes to show that people today and mothers especially feel they are owed some sort of entitlement by everyone else!

Monica

So I hate to nurse in public too, but sometimes it's not possible to go to the bathroom or whatever. I've had enough problems with the baby's latch and what have you to not be able to nurse in odd locations. I NEED to be in chair! Also, why should I go spend 20 minutes or so staring at a bathroom wall when you can't see anything when I'm nursing anyhow? Now I'm not saying find the most obvious place, but if a woman is discreetly in the booth at a restaurant or the most remote bench in the mall, is it really asking too much to just let her be?

anna

another interesting discussion on the same topic in the Europe Forum. To those who equate breastfeeding in public with peeing in public: I don't want to see your genitals or your urine in public, but when women nurse discreetly in public you usually cannot see either their breast or the milk. (in spite of the fact that we seem to have no problem with the breasts that are plastered all over billboards in this country, and we have no problem looking at, or even DRINKING a glass of cow's milk). Peeing and drinking milk are not equivalent functions. I would much rather see a woman nurse a baby in public than hear a woman humiliating or hitting a child in the grocery store or McDonald's. I have seen a lot of women nursing discreetly in public but I have never seen one of them "whip it out".

L

I don't see why moms can't nurse their babies in public w/o everyone getting in such an uproar. Why do we need guidelines for bahving humanely. I don't understand why people would wish to look - a nursing baby on a breast ... wow ... check that out!! Oh, come on .. surely we've made some progress in this country. Moms feeding babies - what could be more natural? If it makes you concerned, get help.

Jeanette

Monica has a point and I think in the USA that it is appropriate to do just as she suggests. Discreet is the operative word. The problems come with lack of discretion. When you are in public places you are exposed to those who may not have your own enlightened attitude. I had a sister-in-law who thought it was her "right" to expose herself in a very inappropriate way to make the point of her entitlement. Many males and females alike are embarrassed by this lack of sensitivity. Last year I saw that same kind of behavior at the head table of a wedding. Full breast / nipple exposed and the baby too big and too uninterested to make it plausible. Half the people in the place were so uncomfortable that they were staring at their own plates. And not because of the nudity,but because the husband was red as a beet and obviously terribly uncomfortable.

FedUp

When our society stops viewing breasts as sexual, then attitudes will change. I seriously doubt this will happen in our lifetime. Until then...go to the lounge, your car or carry a bottle of expressed milk. If you simply cannot abide by this---stay home!

L

I love it ... advice based on horror stories. Please explain exactly why someone should have to retire to a hidden place to feed a baby (or stay home) just because someone esle saw an actual nipple in public? If that's going to be the rule of the day, I'd suggest that guys on the beach need to cover up ... is that where we're headed? Every year we went to Guadeloupe, FWI, and guess what ... moms fed their babies right out in public on the beach. And topless women played baci ball next to the bar, in full sight of the guys. And we all managed to stay calm, and life as we know it went on. Maybe Hill was right .. there is a vast faith-based, right-wing conspiracy afoot, but this time it's to cover up the American breast.

Monica

FedUp:

So, for example, on my recent trip to Oregon to my sister's wedding, I was supposed to miss my flight home because the baby woke up screaming with hunger right when it was time to board? Or maybe just miss the wedding altogether because someone might have seen a bit of my breast at some point during the trip (although I don't see how, unless they were absolutely staring from an angle above me)?