GF74

Hi all, I have found these forums so helpful so I hope you can help with this dilemma. My husband and two daughters (10 and 7) are going to to California in August for 10 days. Driving from SF to San Diego, likely doing a few days in Monterey, hiking in Big Sur, Hearst Castle, possibly Legoland, and a few days in San Diego. The issue is that my California has been on my mother's "bucket list" but she's not much of a planner and my dad, now 75, has limited mobility .But I feel guilty going knowing my mom has always wanted to go. So I was thinking of way that they could join the trip but accommodate our different needs. I'm not sure my parents would be interested in the same kid activities and we might want to do more hiking/walking. Does it make sense to travel together and just split up during the day (ie, we go to Monterey, they go to Carmel), should we build a joint itinerary, or should we just try to meet up at different spots along the way?

MmePerdu

What do your parents want to do? Do they want to stick with you for the duration or, the other alternative you mention, "meet up along the way"? I'd think if they preferred the 2nd option, they could just go on their own without the meeting up complication.

Speaking as a grandparent, I suspect the whole point for them is to enjoy their grandchildren on a family trip, in a place they'd also like to see. I don't see the dilemma, unless you feel it would diminish your own trip to have them with you, and suggest you include them while you have them and while they can travel. I'm sure they're aware that at times they'll be on their own while you hike.

socaltraveler

I think you should sit down with your parents and ask them how they see a trip like this working out for everyone. Aside from the walking and hiking aspects, you should know if they would enjoy the long drives. If they are driving with you, you will also have to consider the size of car you will need.

This could be a very enjoyable family vacation, and one that will certain create wonderful memories for all generations. Once you know what the vision is for both sides I think you will get better advice here.

StuDudley

Here are some ideas of things to do in the San Francisco area.
http://www.fodors.com/community/unit...mendations.cfm

Also, unfortunately you won't be able to drive our lovely Ca Hwy #1 from Carmel to Hearst Castle. It's closed for most of the year in the Big Sur area. You won't even be able to get to my favorite spots in Sig Sur (Nepenthe, Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park, Pfeiffer Beach) from the north access. But don't miss Pt Lobos just south of Carmel.

Stu Dudley

KTtravel

You might mention to your Mom the different places you plan to visit and the activities you are considering. She can then decide if those appeal to her and if she and your Dad would like to join you for all or part of the trip.

suze

>

Either way could work.

I agree you should map out a few different itinerary ideas, gather some preliminary information, then have a family meeting and see how each person feels about things. Include both your parents and the kids in the planning.

MmePerdu

"I feel guilty going knowing my mom has always wanted to go."

The guilt factor implies to me that you'd really prefer to not include your parents. Before you present options to them I think it's important to get over the ambivalence. If you really prefer a trip without the complications, get comfortable with that idea, set aside the guilt and proceed without them. Including them but not being happy about it will be uncomfortable for everyone. If my son took me with him and wasn't glad he did, I'd wish I was still at home.

janisj

Big Sur is a BIG problem. You can't drive through it for probably the next year or more.

You can see a bit of the northern end but will then need to backtrack. Same if you approach from the south - you can see a bit but will then need to turn around and head back south.

There are lots of places on the coast where you don't need to be connected at the hip.

GF74

These are all very helpful. @MmePerdu, I am a bit ambivalent only because my parents travel/live very differently from us but I love them dearly. Once I booked it, I'd be happy about this shared adventure.

Also, I had NO idea about Big sur and that puts a major dent in our plans. That was such a highlight last time we went. Now I'm re-thinking.....

november_moon

Yes, with Big Sur being essentially off the table, this might not be the year for your CA trip. The bridge will be rebuilt, the road will open, just not this year. Also, because of some big fires last summer, some of the parks are still closed to hikers. As mentioned, you can still go into Big Sur and see some of it, but you can only go so far and you can't drive all the way through.

But if you still want to come, you can still see great things. And with a multi-generational trip, I think I would do more of a home-base with day trips itinerary rather than a road trip where you move on every day or every other day. That way its easier to split up to do and see different things, but come back together for dinner and that kind of thing.

So maybe some days in SF, then get cars and drive to Monterey and spend some days there. Then drive down to Santa Barbara or LA, then onto San Diego.

socaltraveler

If Big Sur is off the table, you still only have 10 days to see SF, Monterey, Hearst Castle, Legoland and San Diego. And drive inbetween. Maybe not the itinerary with the parents in the mix. Which is why you should talk to them. You could easily spend 4 more relaxed days in the San Diego area between the Zoo, Legoland, beaches and other attractions.

If your mother has CA on her basket list, what does she want to see if this trip happens?

jamie99

10 days is not a lot of time to cover all the places you want to go, especially if you decide to include your parents.
As someoone developed mobility issues within the last year, I know that it takes me longer to do things, get moving, etc. If the parents come I would be inclined to stick to one region, maybe Southern California for the theme parks and beach weather for your children. Without the parents you could possibly visit most of the places on your list but it would be a bit rushed.

MmePerdu

I agree with Jamie on the 1 location idea for a trip that includes everyone. If you choose, for instance, a nice resort-type accommodation along the coast or San Diego, or a cottage in Carmel, the parents would be comfortable even if the rest of you took off for a whole day elsewhere or even overnight. In fact, I suspect they'd love to get rid of you all for an occasional quiet romantic evening alone. There are certainly ways to make it nice for everyone.

MichelleY

>. And then again, maybe not. How does your husband feel about changing plans for your folks? Much to consider.

GF74

So this is what we are doing. My family is going to SD for a few days and then my parents and my sister and her family are joining. The idea of one place was a good one but my mother really wanted to drive the coast so we are doing this. Any thoughs on it?

3 nights in SD (booked the Catamaran)
2 nights in Santa Barbara (thinking of La Quinta. Is two nights too many with kids? Is there enough to do?
1 night at Big Sur (ragged point in. Probably not ideal with kids but looks great)
1 night in Monterey (thinking of Ramanda.Ok?)
2 nights in SF (Sheraton in Fisherman's wharf)

jamie99

With Highway 1 closed just north of Ragged Point, you would have to backtrack south all the way to Cambria to cut over to Highway 101 to get up to Monterey. So given the circumstances I am not sure I would stay that far north this trip.
Since a new bridge has to be built due to damage, it will not be ready by the time of your trip. That is probably the one section of your revised plan I would suggest you rework.

MichelleY

Skip the night at Ragged Point and add it to Monterey.

DebbieDoesDulles

Oh boy, now your sister's family as well. You'll need two vehicles so there is no need for them to meet you in San Diego, you could meet them further up, in Santa Barbara or San Luis Obispo and they could be all settled in by the time you arrive.
From where is everyone flying?

DebbieDoesDulles

And yes, SB has enough to do for two nights, it's a long drive up from San Diego through Los Angeles traffic....so you'll really have only one full day there for activities.

GF74

Since we already booked the flights and are flying out of SF, we'll need to trek on. How much would that add to backtrack from Ragged Point? Otherwise, we can do two nights to Monterey.