NYC....watch the parade! huge crowds, lots of energy, perfect place to forget about "real life"

or....colonial williamsburg or Sturbridge village (MA) to do the early america/founding fathers historical take on things.

Or Plimoth Plantation for excruciating historical accuracy. They have a big banquet and special events.

Chicago is another option...it's marvelous around Thanksgiving...crisp weather, great Christmas decorations, also a parade, everyone in a partying mood. Go to a blues club, mix with the shoppers along Mich. Avenue, take in the world class museums, attend a show, and check out the German Christmas market.

I'll second Chicago. By accident, we ended up there for Thankgsgiving many years ago and have spent many more since. We were trying to go to NYC but found it was incredibly expensive on thanksgiving weekend, so we went to Chicago. Several musuems are open on Thanksgiving Day. The shopping is great, there's a fun parade, and if you're lucky, its not too cold. the only problem is the Saturday night of Thanksgiving weekend. There is a h-u-g-e medical convention (radiologists) there every year that starts on Sat or sun of Thanksgiving day weekend and the hotels jack up the rates starting on Saturday, if you can even get on. We have always left on Saturday to avoid that, but have gotten great rates on great hotels Tuesday thru Sat am. Also, great meals on Thanksgiving Day. We'll miss Chicago this year.

Wherever your loved ones are.

Help to serve dinner at a food pantry or some other organization that feeds the hungry (and others) on Thankgiving. Many of them serve anyone and everyone who shows up ... some not in need of food, only company ... and you'll feel better too that you helped, and will probably meet a number of new people.

Calamari, will you at least be with friends or loved ones if you opt out of Thanksgiving with Dad? I think that's the key. If not then you will most likely be very miserable. Instead I'd suggest you take this opportunity to meet your dad's new friend. You don't have to like her (or him as the case may be). Did dad ask you to join? Or no?

What about Thanksgiving with friends in San Diego? I understand why you don't want to spend Thanksgiving with another woman sitting in your mother's chair. You can be glad your father has companionship without making yourself miserable on Thanksgiving.

'mari,
Since our wedding anniv and T'giving are close, we've been ducking out of the "il famglia" gatherings for quite awhile.

We've been to Monteray, Kauai, SF, Napa, New Orleans, St Helena and enjoyed them all.
But, having said that, it's still best to be with friends/family.

Last year my wife & I just wanted some time off to ourselves at Thanksgiving. We went to Las Vegas (our first visit), and we had a great time.

I don't want to be judgemental, but I just wish I still had a dad to have Thanksgiving with. I'd be happy doing that no matter who his new friend was, especially if she was making him happy.

I wonder how Yosemite would be during Thanksgiving. We were there a few years ago at the beginning of November and it was beautiful - crisp air, fall colors, not too crowded. Thanksgiving dinner at the Ahwanee might be a nice treat.

A few years ago, my husband and I wanted to break the Thanksgiving tradition of going to a particular relative's house. We never enjoyed it and finally decided to end it. That year, we went to Las Vegas. The trip was nice, but Thanksgiving dinner was not. And when we returned, our (grown) children were upset. I'd never do it again & regret doing it even once.

I hope that whatever you decide to do, you do with people you care about & who care about you. You don't want to be alone on Thanksgiving.

Calamari, Sorry about your mom and you know best as to whether to be with your dad, or not. Chicago is wonderful during Thanksgiving; but could be pricy. Another idea is to honor your mother's memory by delivering Meals on Wheels, volunteering to cook or serve at a homeless shelter, or visiting a senior citizen center (there will be a few without family). These are not fun suggestions; but will be very rewarding.

I don't think Calamari needs to be hectored about the choice to spend Thanksgiving independently. She didn't ask for lifestyle counseling, just some travel recommendations.
Re Chicago, yes it will be crowded due to the radiology convention (that's why I'll be there), but you can always find rooms. The best way is to check www.hotrooms.com or www.quikbook.com or a similar service. The convention brings in lots of international visitors (and they LOVE Chicago) which adds to the festive atmosphere.

FWIW, I've spent a couple of Thanksgivings and a Christmas on my own--due to business travel or my husband going back to the U.S. to celebrate with his family (last Christmas my husband went back to WA State to see his mum for the first time since we moved to Europe 5 years ago--it was MY Christmas gift to his family). I was hardly "miserable." I didn't feel like I was unloved or left out. When it's your *choice* to be alone, it's not a big deal.

Uh, excuse me, but recommending that you stay home IS a travel recommendation...

Calamari specifically said she wants to "get away and try something new." Being sent on a guilt trip for not wanting to stay home or do charity work does not qualify as a travel recommendation.

Excuse me but this is a forum where people post a question and ask for OPINIONS. Read the title again. It is not wrong for a reader to post an opinion that the "Best Place to Celebrate Thanksgiving in the US" is at home with relatives. That is a valid response, but of course, like all other responses only an opinion. Anyone posting such a question should be prepared for that opinion as well as any other.

If you want to get out of San Diego for the holiday, I'm with those who suggested Las Vegas.

Calamari, you can come to my house. Combine it with a trip to Chicago, as I'm about 45 minutes away on the train and it's my holiday. I usually have about 4 or 5 people who can't get home from their college location plus about 35 to 40 other people. This includes an ex and girlfriend if any, my significant other, three children and their spouses, 5 grandchildren, parents in their 80's, daughter's in-laws with their various new spouses and man-friends AND nieces and nephews with or without significent others plus college room mates. And on occasion their are other categories like Brothers (religious order) who don't want to fly home etc. etc. There are two or three seatings and the Trivial Pursuit games are terrific and deadly.

You may be subjected to the Bears games this year as it starts as 3pm central time. Game is held in Detroit, so you wouldn't have to contend with that traffic if coming from downtown area. If you decide on Chicago, the invitation is open and you will need a good warm coat, not just a jacket.

I don't know how strong your holiday traditions were, but this could also be an opportunity to strenghten them in a new way. Who is cooking? What will your father miss in the food choices? With a name like Calamari- food is pretty important, RIGHT!

Every holiday after big change is hard. This holiday I will be missing my brother. He's leaving for Iraq this month. At 54, he is going to mentor the Iraqi police for a year. Haven't see my mom cry in 30 years and now she's cried for about 2 straight weeks. She's 82.

Life, it's always something and you never know when your holiday will change. But the best and newest traditions have always had beginnings. Maybe you should travel and/or just have a bigger Christmas, but your mom wouldn't want you to be without traditions of some kind.

Will you be alone or will your DH come too? That makes a difference. And what sort of budget?

In New Orleans they have a tradition of deep-frying turkeys that have been injected with lots of spices. Some restaurants that are open on Thanksgiving Day offer this local delicacy and advertise it on their marquees. And where could be more fun than New Orleans?

I have to second New Orleans! The city is "food" destination and I can't think of a better time than Thanksgiving. As far as Chicago...I've lived there and for someone from San Diego it is not "crisp", it is friggin freezing at Thanksgiving. One other option for you would be to get on a cruise from San Diego or L.A and head to the Mexican Riviera. They always have nice Thanksgiving dinners and you will be sitting with a bunch of "new friends" yourself!

Calamari: my suggestion would be to think really, really hard about what you'd like to do, then do it. If you can't do that then do the closest to it.

Ummm JJ, if Calamari can't make it, can I come? I guess I'd have to bring my H and daughter. But I'll also bring lots of wine and H is a great cook. Daughter can help clean up. Nothing in this world better than Large family gatherings on holidays.

Hi Calamari...I feel for you, that's a rough situation. Depending on what type of getaway you want, you could go to Carmel (a little bit of a drive for you in SD, but you could stop on the way or fly to Monterey.) The plus here is that the restaurants are fabulous, and no cooking or clean up! If you have dogs, you can even bring them with you since its such a dog friendly place. If you want to take your mind of missing your mom, you could go to Las Vegas. Its quiet at Thanksgiving and the weather is ideal there. We went one time and stayed at the Venetian when we were having a particularly stressful time. We managed to have a good time while only thinking about our troubles briefly. Whatever you do, please don't feel guilty about wanting to be somewhere else for this holiday. You need to do what is right for you, and if you don't feel up to facing it this year, don't let that add to your stress.

Wow, thank you everyone for your fantastic ideas and in some cases, invitations! My dad totally understands that going up to my mom's house (3 hours away) and cooking in her kitchen, using her favorite plates and making all the traditional fixings that we have always made together, will be just too darn hard for me this year. He has NO SHORTAGE of invitations from friends. DH and I have always done a charitable event around Thanksgiving and this year we will be doing a gala for the American Liver Foundation. SOME of your suggestions were so appreciated because I feel like for once I just need to take care of myself (DH & kids too) this year and now have some great ideas thanks to you. I did not realize Carmel was "dog friendly" and that would really help since we now have mom's dog. Gotta run but I have really enjoyed everyone's, well almost everyone's input. Cheers.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, by far. To truly celebrate it in an authentic way means turkey and all the fixings. Why not come to the area where the Thanksgiving celebration originated, Plymouth. The recreated village celebrates in a very traditional manner with appropriate foods and dress. There are many things to do in the Plymouth area with a drive to Cape Cod very doable.

If you are, indeed, willing to travel to the Other Coast, consider Sturbridge Village (restored colonial village in central Mass.), with dinner at the Tavern, or Colonial Williamsburg (SE of Richmond VA). I've done both and have a preference for Wmsburg's, just because there's a little more to the restored area and a large choice of restaurants.

http://www.osv.org/ - Sturbridge
http://www.history.org/ - Wms'burg

But plan soon -- these places book up for Thanksgiving.

Calamari, sounds like you made the best decision for all of your family.

Hope a little of your San Diego sunshine makes it way to Chicago on Nov. 25th. Don't care if it's cold, but it would be nice if we had sun shining for the travelers, instead of sleet delays.

Austin, I always have at least two turkeys and plenty of food, but could always use good wine and more light-hearted people.

Calamari - it was unclear from your original post if you were planning a trip alone or with husband and kids. I'm glad to hear you are planning a family trip and I'm sure you will have a great holiday. When my Dad died and my mom started spending Thanksgiving in Phoenix with her new hubby, my DH and I starting hosting our own Thanksgiving with friends. It has become my favorite holiday because we get to do what we want (eat, drink and play charades!). This is an opportunity for you to create some new traditions with your family and I'm sure it will be a great holiday. Best wishes to you all.

Calamari, there's always my house, a mere 20mins or so by car! I think the cruise idea is great.

Calamari- Another place that is great during Thanksgiving is Arizona and it's not too far of a drive from San Diego. I also live in the San Diego area (North County) and I would invite you to my house but I will be in Arizona with my family. Weather is perfect there during November and you could pick anywhere between Tucson, Scottsdale, etc. I was actually thinking of getting the whole family to go up to Sedona for Thanksgiving. It is one of my favorite places-still working on that one.

Calamari,
I'm relieved to know you will not be alone for Thanksgiving and Carmel sounds wonderful. The first holiday after loosing a loved one can be difficult. I did not intend to "preach" to anyone regarding charitable work; it was something that helped keep my mind occupied the first Thanksgiving following a loss.
JJ5-What time is dinner? I will bring my crowd of 30+ and help with the cooking; but, you will have to eat cornbread dressing!

I too am glad you'll be with your family and that Dad is well taken care of. If you want to take the dog, I hope you realize there are a lot of websites with guides to pet friendly places. On the other hand, taking the dog does limit your options. Whatever you decide, I hope you have a great time. You could just stay home and go out for Thanksgiving meal.

Billee, I don't think I could do 30 more. After so many years of doing this, I think I just about have it down-
but adding 30 would be a bit much.

Our main dinner is about 1:30pm with another about 4 or 5pm with another fresh turkey. A second group arrives for the later but lots stay for both.
We also have homemade lasagna or ravioli and numerous other dishes. Everything is from scratch, and nothing is from a box. We always have at least one zuchinni bake, sweet potatoes two ways, mashed potatoes. REAL GRAVY. At least four different kinds of vegtables and homemade cranberry relish that has nuts in it. We have two people who made home made pumpkin pies from the cooked down pumpkins we grow and believe me, they do not taste like Baker's Square and actual whipped cream is on top. Everyone under 10 years of age gets to peal off the crispy turkey skin and eat it while its still sizzling. We do not speak of cholesterol on this day. No carved centerpieces like Martha Stewart's for us. My stuffing isn't cornbread,I make it out of Italian bread, celery, parsley, onions and turkey stock. I like cornbread stuffing though. As you can see, we like about everything. Last year there was nothing left from two 24 lbs. turkeys down to the last brussel sprout. Also it was the first year that the woman lost the final Trivial Pursuit game.

I need not mention the wine choices, but I do admit that I have hoarded my favorite Lindemann's so that it isn't wasted on those who don't appreciate it.

Gyppielou's amazing new england rustic kitchen of course!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Calamari, If you decide to go to Carmel, try a restaurant called Grazings. Middle of town, dog friendly heated patio and they serve everything you can think of for Thanksgiving. Sounds like a lot of people (me included!) are wishing you as good of a holiday as you can have under the circumstances. Please post again after the holiday and give a review of your trip! I'm sure there are so many others out there facing their first holiday without a loved family member or friend who would benefit.

Come to Hawaii and have Thanksgiving with us! It's always a big potluck with family and friends. Lots of food (traditional and otherwise). Your Dad will wish that he made plans to be with you in Hawaii too!

Calamari! If you decide to go to Carmel for the holiday, you could come to the Yountville GTG on the Friday after Thanksgiving! Think about it!

Calamari-
Ditto to Ms Betsy!


The more the merrier!

Calamari,
I hope you have a great time wherever you end up. That said, we started a new family tradition over Thanksgiving a few years ago. We now pack up the kids and another couple and their kids and head to a condo in Breckenridge. Not everyone skis, but it sure is fun to be in the mountains, watching the snow fall while you try to calculate the cooking time for a turkey at 9000 feet. We bring most of the fixins and buy the rest when we get there. It's a blast, and if it doesn't turn out as a gourmet meal, we laugh because we didn't have a potato masher in the condo we rented. Have fun!

phieaglefan - Breckenridge sounds terrific for Thanksgiving. I have always wanted to rent a condo at Lake Tahoe for Thanksgiving and have a bunch of the family come up. One of these years we will do it. That takes some advance planning though.

With us, it's usually mid-November by the time we say "Holy mashed potatoes Batman, it's almost Thanksgiving! Who is going to have it at their house this year?"

My grandmother recently decided she is done having holidays at her house, so we are all kind of in limbo trying to figure out what our "new tradition" is going to be.

I vote for something completely different from whatever you've done in the past. Last year I needed a big change and traveled from the SE to the SW. I can't describe enough how much I enjoyed walking around Santa Fe in November, sleeping on a mattress on a floor in a crowded bedroom because my friend's family's house was overflowing with guests and throughly enjoying the event that is tamale making. Who knew? I had no idea!

Another transitional year I spent it in New York City. What an absolute blast!

I think change is very good is transitional years. Next on my list would be Vegas or the Grand Canyon.

I've been submerged in fundraising hell for many days and have not had time to visit, but I just wanted to say that you are such a great group of people! I LOVE all of your suggestions and invitations. I started to feel very nostalgic the other day and before I could stop myself, I invited dad & the new (well not exactly new but that is another story) girlfriend whom I have never met for Thanksgiving! DUMB DUMB DUMB! He did not jump at the invite so now I am on the hook waiting for him to make up his mind. I am going to give him a time frame. He may just want some private time with his "friend" and an opportunity to cozy up to her parents...eventhough they are his age or YOUNGER! I would love to get away to Carmel and crash the Yonteville GTG! I love Yonteville! Hell, I might just do it anyway! Thanks to all of you for the kind invitations. I am very greatful for this board!! Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Calamari, I can understand exactly why you invited your dad. I'd imagine you really want to be with him, but the circumstances are so stressful. While my parents are both alive, they went through a bitter divorce when I was ten. My dad deemed Thanksgivig "his" and I had to endure his new wife (married less than 10 days after the divorce, and she was 19!) who HATED me. I spent every holiday in tears, with a migraine. I'll be 33 soon, and I'm still jumpy around the holidays. A few years back, I just couldn't go on trying to please everyone but myself and that's when my hubby and I started going to Carmel. Now, my mom and her husband and the dogs go with us and it is the one trip I look forward to more than anything during the year. I guess what I'm trying to say is to hang in there. Things will never be the same again, but you will be able to make some new traditons in your family that will bring happy memories, even as you are struggling through this.

I second Plymouth, MA. The website shows it to be one of the best places to travel for a traditional Thanksgiving celebration.

I wanted to celebrate T'giving in Plymouth, MA but Mrs Kal asked me if had rocks in my head?

We used to go to Monterey each year for our T'giving/Wedding anniv but the trip got to be too crowded on I-5 and the cut over.
Now it's Napa Valley right after Mrs. Kal's run in Sacto's "Run to Feed the Hungry", beating most of the traffic.