stressed out

This is the first time that I haven't used my real name on Fodors in the 6 plus years that I have looked at this board.I would like to remain anonymous in my seething rage, I guess....

I work 60 hours a week at my job, travelling across this great country. This week, I am off for these 3 days prior to Christmas. I have spent this time very poorly.....running around getting gifts, paper, cards and a million other things.Haven't had a minute to stop. Today, I have already stopped at the post office and the grocery store and it's barely 9AM. I still have to clean the house and make stuffing from scratch for a 20 pound turkey that's getting heavier by the minute, cook a cheesecake, and wash all of my china. Enough!!

Next year, I am removing myself from this chaos....you will find me on the beach somewhere....my tree will be a conch shell and my turkey will be a memory!! I will be sure to take the time for a nice quiet church service and to reflect on my blessings.

Merry Christmas to all and here's hoping my spirits are lifted by tomorrow!

Esme

Okay Stressed out (ignoring the very rude first reply person) hope you have a happy and stress free Christmas - stay cool!

Gwen

Well, you've been sucked into the retailers' great American Christmas machine. Little by little over the past 50 years retailers have been able to create the sense in people that they have to buy oodles of gifts, wrap each one uniquely, have the prefect tree with varied and expensive doodads, fill the house with festive ornamentation, cover the house/yard with lights/decorations whip together the stupendous 5 course meal, etc etc etc.

Too many people have been brainwashed.
(And whatever happened to the real reason Christmas was first celebrated? Not politically correct to even mention that these days).

So what's the antidote?
You mentioned it. Go on vacation for Christmas. Allows you to unwind, enjoy the season and let someone else do all the fussing.
Hope it works out for you next year.

(Switzerland is beautiful at Christmas. But so is Hawaii).

Penny

Dear Stressed,

As they say on the commercial........
Calgon, take me away. lol

Have a wonderful Christmas !!!

Ginny

Eric, you ought to be ashamed of yourself posting such nonsense during this the season of good will and love. Shame on you! I will pray that you get some compassion for your fellow man.

To Stressed Out-Time to downsize and yes, take that vacation. Your friends and family will be just fine. Happy Holidays!

Bob Brown

Where is the Fodors censor when we need him or her??

Monica

Stressed out--might I suggest Costa Rica for next year's Christmas? I was there up until Christmas eve one year and the lack of stress was incredible. The holiday season is very low key, and you can buy all your gifts easily (souveneirs!).

mimi taylor

Thank you, Fodors.

Stressed out, I promise, tomorrow won't seem as bad.

xxx

Try Stove Top stuffing, it really doesn't taste bad and it's a snap to make. You might also try those turkey breasts instead of a whole turkey -- only white meat, no bones, no mess. Simplify or give it up, as you said!

ja

To Stressed Out:

Relax, enjoy today and have a very Merry Christmas. May we join you on the beach next Christmas? Sure sounds inviting!
ja

Jeanette

A vacation away may be your style, and that's just fine. But take it from someone who feeds about 40 people each holiday. Traditions do count. Cut out the postman, the presents and all the commercial hogwash and forget about what "other people think." You should have seen the faces the first year I gave everyone letters I wrote from my heart instead of anything bought from a store- especially my brother the homicide detective. It did take about 4 or 5 years, but the traditions we do have now are rock bottom and we have FUN! If it's not fun to you, don't do it.

I wish I could help you a bit and show you how to cook a turkey with absolutely no fuss- I've got it down to a science. But regardless, don't do cheesecake or anything else you don't enjoy doing. Buy it out, or go very simple. If you have a spouse, children, or grandchildren it is not the cheesecake etc. they will remember but how YOU related to them. Put on some music and relax with a happy song, it might help immensely.

I don't do Christmas cards etc. either- and found that friends actually CALL and talk to you. It's much better. And if not, I'll call them sometime in January.

stressed out

Thanks everyone. I think I've made it. Almost cracked this morning when hubby decided to clean out the kitchen closet and dropped potting soil all over my clean floor!!! He's currently banned from the kitchen.
Traditions are important....but, so is my sanity.Next Christmas, I'm thinking Austria or some nice warm beach....
Hope everyone has a great day !!!!

John G

The is a remedy for the Christmas blues....pills and booze!

Sec-on-al
is com-ing
to town.

Gina

No John, the remedy isn't booze and pills. That makes it worse.

Stressed-Have you thought about having a pot luck? Everyone brings something so you don't have to spend all your time cooking. I also agree with Jeannette. Cut out the cards and the gifts. I made cookies/fudge for a lot of people this year and it meant more to them than any store bought gift especially those who work alot and can't bake.

Saw this in the newspaper this morning and I will pass it on..
"It's not your job or my job to make Christmas perfect. God already did that." Merry Christmas.

judith

next-year advice from a pro:

#1. if you need to cook a 20-lb. turkey, there must be lots of people coming to eat. give each family member and/or grandparents, guests jobs or food to bring. use impeccably lovely paper plates. also use your head to simplify in other ways.

#2. if you are working 60 hours a week and traveling, why are you cooking all this stuff??? eat out xmas day or day before or whenever. why do you have to do everything and from scratch yet? what is your goal? enjoying life or trying to be martha stewart?

#3. pick up xmas gifts throughout the year on your travels. have them gift wrapped. or draw names.

your family and friends will love the new you next year. you will not have to escape to a beach (more traveling).

GrannyNan

Stressed-Here's some suggestions for next year....

Buy your turkey/ham/roast beef dinner from your local supermarket deli. All the major supermarkets sell dinners big enough to feed a crowd, complete with all the trimmings. All you have to do is heat and serve. We did this last year and it was surprisingly good.

Ditch the China for sturdy, paper plates.

Buy and wrap presents all year. When you see something someone in your family might like, buy it and save it.

Hire a cleaning service to clean your house.

Have your guests bring dessert or if you don't want to buy the dinner, do a potluck.

Downsize your card list.

And lastly, make time for yourself. Get a massage, pedicure or facial, put on some happy music, soak in the tub or take a long walk. Schedule time for yourself just like you do an appointment, that way you will do it.

Cheers and Happy New Year!

Elizabeth

Dear Stressed:

Here is what I suggest. Now that Christmas is over, take some time to ask yourself what about the holiday really matters to you, and allow yourself the freedom of a true answer.
It's fine if the answer is "nothing," it's fine if it is "setting the table with my Christmas dishes," it's fine if it is "seeing as many people as possible," it's fine if it is "getting some rest at the end of the fall."

Whatever it is I suggest you then make a plan for next year that allows you to have the aspects you WANT to have of this season, and omit as much of the rest as possible. To me this is a somewhat spiritual exercise and worth doing.

And--best wishes for the rest of the holidays this year.



Whatev

sss

dear stressed out there is no substitutions for family or paradise you simply must pick your poison. I like family at the holidays, paradise in August.

Totally relate to your story. Only add a few sharp words that I wish were spent else where. ... like in my sleep .

Beth

I also can totally sympathize with your position as I feel the same way. My family is very laid back about the holidays (go out to eat for Thanksgiving and Christmas) draw names and buy only one gift etc. My husband's family on the other hand is like that of the Christmas police: everything must be homemade to eat (I mean I am terrible iof I even use frozen or canned veggies to make a casserole!), must get together on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day both no matter what, we are not supposed to stay a t a otel but stay at their houose and participate in all the traditions like staying up late Christmas Eve making cookies and fudge, must buy presents for EVRYONE including extended family aunts uncles cousins, cousins children etc.(and I don't mean small gifts either these people spend upwards of $50 on EVERYBODY even people they only see once a year!) We go through this every year and every year I beg my husband to scale back but this is the way it was always done in his family and we get a huge guilt trip from his mother so we continue. I too am thinking about a week long caribbean cruise next year over Christmas. I just wonder if we are not there, will all these people still send us cards and get us gifts? If so, I am going to still feel obligated to do the same even if a I take a vacation!

Abby

You are screwed that is just the hand you have been delt. Change things and you will have the alienation your husband to contend with or the alienation he might feel from his family OR OR OR well let's not talk about it. You are going to bake those casseroles with fresh vegitables and stir that 1am fudge. LOL...

The fudge part sounds nice. Sounds like a christmas at Hansel and Gretels gingerbread house. LOL again good luck