Anna

Hi! Has anyone ever travelled with a relative, friend or co-worker that they thought they really knew, but when they got to their destination, their "true" self came out?

Here is my story:
A co-worker, who thought I knew fairly well decided she wanted to go to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. She asked me to come along. I agreed to, because she seemed likes lots of fun. Well the next week was horror. We took the public bus to get to most places. Almost the entire time she was making racist and stupid comments about the Mexican people. I was really mad! I told her to stop it and quit being so disrespectful. Also mentioned to her that one of these times someone is going to get really mad at her and I wasn't going to take her side. Well sure enough the next day one of the locals on the bus got quite mad. I don't blame him! She figured they would not understand english. Normally when I go on trips, I don't buy alot, unless I find some neat things. Well, I sure found some good bargains. She complained to me that I must have lots of money to be spending. I am not rich, I do know how to spend my money wisely. Also we were in one of Marina sections where all the nice yachts are. She complained that it was sickening how rich these people were. Yes, we did have a few good times, but I don't think I will be travelling with her again. I am not a racist person, and I was really embarrased by her comments. I always learn about the culture of another country before going, think it is important to respect the people, just like you would like to have respect yourself. Anyone else have stories they would like to share?

traveller

I had some good times in England with a good friend. But some bad times too. I am a great walker and I thought that my friend knew it. (I have actually told her about my addiction to walking and how far I walked on many of my holidays) I can easily walk 20 - 30 kms./day which is not a great deal but my friend, who wanted to come with me to England (I would have been happy to go alone) said that she could keep up. Not the case. Before we even got to our hotel, she was complaining that her feet hurt and it got worse.

However, we did have some fun so the positive side of the whole thing was that the worst I had to experience was a bit of complaining.

I guess the moral of the story is to be sure that you know what you are letting yourself in for when you travel with a friend. Sometimes it may be better to travel alone.

Although I couldn't visit what I wanted to visit in England with my friend because she could not keep up, I still had some fun and some great times. I try to remember the good times more than what I missed out on.

Melissa

I once traveled with a co-worker on a lark, we didn't know each other very well. Although there were a couple of rocky spots, for the most part she and I learned we are quite compatible travelling!

My MOTHER, on the other hand, is a nightmare. She complains about everything and tries to make me feel guilty about it. She's inflexible, negative, dependent, and demanding, so I try to avoid travelling with her as much as possible. (I already posted on this on the Europe board.) The only time she is completely the opposite is when she is in Las Vegas! SO much different, that I once turned to her while in Vegas and said, "Who are you and what have you done with my mother?!" She was positive, flexible, charming, and could take a leadership role in problem solving. Go figure.

Travel Girl

Travelling with others

A few lessons learned:

1) I always get a seperate room, I snore and it is unavoidable.
2) We eat breakfast together, split up for "seperate adventures" then get back together around dinner time to share stories of what we saw and did.
3) If we rented a car, we take turns with it for 1/2 day here and there
4) Compromise is to be expected.
5) Take people in small doses.

I prefer to travel alone and meet up with people along the way.

Anon y Mouse

I took my kids and niece to Disney World a couple of years ago and had extra room in the hotel room, my husband couldn't come so I asked my friend if she wanted to meet us there. It was the vacation from hell. She borrowed money for passes that she didn't want to pay back, she complained that the room was cluttered, (although she contributed no $$$)She was recently divorced and was making inappropriate sexual comments and made it clear that she was looking for "someone". It was so blatant that my 9 year old niece and my boys commented on it. We were so happy when she left two days early. I would never go any where with her again. On the other hand, another friend and I took my 13 year old son on a Carribean cruise because my husband was unable to go and we had a wonderful time. My son even enjoyed her company. You never know.

abc

Melissa: Are we sisters?

lisa

Ohhhh yes. I invited a neighbor and her daughter to go with my daughter and I for a short weekend trip. Our daughters were best friends at the time, about 5 & 6 years old. I soon found that her daughter ruled the roost in that family...She wanted to decided where to go and when to go, where to eat and where we could not eat. Whined constantly. The best part of the trip was when we finally went to a restaurant (after we stopped and got her a burger) and she fell asleep at the table. Ahhhh.

xxx

Took a cruise with a co-worker I thought I knew. She got so drunk ended up having to call 911 because she passed out on me. Was fighting with doctors and security and ended up being removed from the ship in Nassau and I continued on the cruise alone. Have to say I had a much better time then!

juli

Oh my god, how funny I thought I had let all my hard feelings go but now they have come to surface again. I recently went to Grand Cayman with 2 of my friends. I posted me problems with one of my friends as they happened before we even left. She would say Yes to making reservations for things and the day before we left she started to change her mind about everything. She didnt want to spend money on ANYTHING. Which included the ride home from the airport. She had to check her luggage which held us up but then when she opened her suitcase there was 6 pairs of shoes and a teddy bear. I almost lost it. I will now give you the run down of what happened on vacation.

She complained about EVERYTHING. She was the only part of my trip that was a negative. She complained about 6,432 times in 5 days. The drinks werent strong enough, its too hot, the children are too noisy, they shouldnt allow kids over the age of 2 to go naked (this one went on for 1/2 a day),there arent enough towels, the room smells funny, How can stores open up 20 minutes after there posted hours (ever hear of island time?),$10 for a cheseburger, She wasnt getting tan, do you need me to go on? I should have kept a running list. She made us miss the ferry for Rum Point because she forgot her wrap and camera and then threw a fit. Bascially it was like traveling with a 5 year old that you couldn't disipline and who when rushed to do something will slow down out of spite. Ironically the best time I had in Cayman was our snorkeling trip she wasnt on. I think most of my hositility comes from the fact that I planned the whole trip, every detail, got us a tremendous upgrade and all I wanted and didnt receive was a thank-you. Needless to say I will never go on a vacation with her again.

Oh and the funny part was is that the first thing that set me off was missing the ferry because she couldnt remember to pack her camera, when she got home she got her film developed and nothing came out. She hasnt asked me for copies and she wont get them even if she did.

We havent spoken sincd we returned and I think our friendship is now over.

T.M.

Travelling with someone you don't know all that well is always a risk. Doing so with someone you THINK you know is even a greater risk sometimes.

Last year I went to Scotland with a friend I thought I knew fairly well. We spent about ten days together. It wasn't a total nightmare. We did have some good times. But we were with a tour group and she clearly didn't want to get to know any of them. I almost wished I had gone alone so I could get to know some of these very interesting international folks that I know I'll never meet again. The other major complaint I had about her was that I didn't know it took her over TWO HOURS to get ready every day. I had no idea it took her that long. And that she wore a different outfit every day, making her luggage twice as heavy as mine.

This summer I went on a beach trip with a co-worker I thought I knew well. This went okay much of the time but I soon realized our expectations were different. I wanted to just relax and sit on the beach, maybe read a book. My friend wanted to be on the go constantly. Since I had driven, I had to naturally take her. I also didn't realize she talks NONSTOP. Even on the ride home (five hours), she would not even stop to take a breath. I was very happy to get home and enjoy the silence.

My advice: Be brutally honest up front about what you expect. If you cannot make a compromise, don't do it or you'll have stories like mine.

Melissa

abc: Hmm. Strangers in a parallel universe? hahaha

jenny

My friend and I went to New Orleans last fall and had a devil of a time agreeing on where we wanted to go. What really took the cake happened at a bar however. As we were sitting at the bar she whispered into my ear "I have a diahrea fart brewing." Honest. And then the event came. After a minute it stunk so bad. A couple guys actually got up and left. And my friend laughed about it for the next hour. i was embarrassed!!!

Suzie

I let this thread go a few days but now I feel ready to respond. Though there are two sides to every story here's mine:

We planned to go to Hawaii a few years after we went there on our honeymoon. Friends found out and decided they should join us. We thought that might be fun, ha! Everything, everything was about money. They wanted to do it all cheap. They also only wanted to go to Oahu but agreed to a minimum 3 night stay in Maui first. When we landed, the shuttles to the rental cars were always packed so he offered to squeeze on the shuttle without his luggage and return for us and the luggage. You'd think that would be a good thing. Halfway to our condo he causually mentions that would not be able to drive the car as we had not provided the rental agency with a driver's license. We were splitting the cost for this. Silently steaming in the back seat. When we arrived at our condo there was clearly one bedroom better than the other. We discussed how we should handle it and they said they didn't care. We took the better bedroom. They weren't happy. Whatever. We finally determined that they only wanted to work on their tans and not see any sites, NONE. Rental car parked in the parking lot. We finally told them we were taking it anyway. It was DH birthday while we were on Maui so we went to a nice dinner where they complained about prices. Later the other couple sent a bottle of wine to another table because the husband liked the way the guy at the other table laughed (loud). Nothing for the birthday guy. Things are getting tense. Left Maui.

Checked into the hotel and went to the beach where they ran into friends they had expected to see. Spent all of their time with them and totally ignored us, including meals. The next day we rented a car and went site seeing. They were furious because it had rained all day on Waikiki and we were obviously suntanned because we were on the other side of the island. Determined not to miss another day of potential tanning, they asked if they could come with us. Not if they could help pay for the rental car or gas. We were headed out to hikes and waterfalls which they were not interested in so they dropped us off at the trailhead and headed for the beach. Seems like all would be well. NOT. For whatever reason on the way back he starts yelling at us about what bad people we are and how we were ruining their trip that cost so much. This was after they told us they spent $150 on a dress for her. (1983). Parted ways and have not been friends since. Very sad because we all had so much fun together before this happened.

Gina

A trip with 2 other couples to Orlando/Everglades/Key West.

First night in Orlando we wanted to go to a "good" restaurant. Discovered that one person is allergic to seafood, another person vegetarian, another person anorexic, two others cheapskates. We ended up at a Perkins.

In the Everglades we rented a "cottage" for 6. Two double beds in a 10 X10 room and a pull out couch in the living area. The living area was the only room with an air conditioning unit and it was 90 degrees. Well, no one was happy with any arrangement there!

In Key West we finally hit upon a system after the first day when the two cheapskates refused to spend the $16 for the conch train tour and we went without them.

We cancelled our condo and rented separate rooms, met for drinks at 5:00 pm every night and then split up for dinner.

On the drive back (we had two cars) the air conditioning conked out in one car. That really helped everyone's dispositions.

What amazes me is that these same people just called asking us if we want to go on a cruise with them next year. They must be nuts.

Annica

I was traveling with my boyfriend Thom.
We were together for months but had never actually lived together.

I soon discovered that his bathing/hygene habits were less than stellar. He was nest to filthy. Don't know how i didn't disover it sooner.


We broke up when we got home.

xxx

I have a good friend that I get along with well when we hang out locally. But have been on two international trips together and would never do that again. He totally becomes disoriented and a complete idiot. We're still friends, but will never make the mistake of traveling together again. He keeps asking me to go with him - but I keep saying "NO".

Mrs.H

My husband and I were invited by a couple to visit them in a timeshare they owned in Pa.He was my husbands friend since childhood.When we got there, they drove around with us all day showing us the area,that is when we found out that they wanted us to buy a timeshare,and the guy would make money on the transaction.THat night we said we wanted to go to a casual not too expensive place for dinner,they took us to a very expensive bad restaurant and then when we paid our half of the check, the guy used his company card to pay,therefore getting our share of the money for himself.The topper was when they got mad at us for not going to one of those introduction meetings where they try to sell you the time share and if you go they give you a free tv--my husbands friend wanted the tv for one of his kids.
Needless to say,my husband told his old "friend" what we thought of the whole deal and we said goodbye and it has been good riddance since then.....

Susan

Melissa and abc, I'm with you both! My mother guilts me into taking her on our family trips, I pay for everything even though she can more than afford her own airplane ticket, etc. and then she complains and picks fights with me the entire trip. I have these photos of my kids frolicking on the beach in Hawaii and we are all laughing and smiling except my mom who has a constant scowl.

She gives me this story of how she's too old to travel on her own and if I don't take her she will never go anywhere .... but then she practically ruins my vacation. What to do? At least my husband is wonderful about it, has a great sense of humor and we just try to laugh. Gads.

Sandy

Hey Susan, stop taking your mother on those trips - she's clearly manipulative beyond belief. Take a family vacation with just your immediate family - you'll be AMAZED at how much fun you'll have without your sourpuss mother. Your family, especially your husband, deserves it!

Susan

Thanks, Sandy. We do take trips without her too. Though we pay the price in guilt it is worth it! Last summer we went to Europe without her and I don't know how many times she expressed her wishes to join us. Every time I told her I already had my hands full with my two kids and their luggage, etc. There was no way possible she could keep up with us and we wouldn't be able to cart her luggage through all the airports, train stations, etc. We paid so much money for that vacation I wasn't about to let her ruin it.

But I am going on vacation again with her this summer. Luckily, my sisters are coming too so she can spread the manipulation around. ;-)