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4day stay-Napa/Sonoma?

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Good morning! My husband and I are headed to Wine Country for the first time in July. We're looking to get away for some much needed R&R. I haven't made our lodging arrangements yet because I am having difficulty figuring out where to stay!
We're staying 3-4 nights, looking for a nice hotel with access to great food and perhaps a nice pool to spend an afternoon taking a dip - if the weather works in our favor.

I've looked through Trip Advisor but there seem to be so many different towns, that I don't know if I've explored all areas enough to understand where we should make reservations for our time.

We're not the B&B type. We like comfortable, upscale accommodations. When we travel, we like to feel as though we're getting away, but not as though we're deserted.

We DEFINITELY plan to do some wine tasting. I'm not sure if 3 winery visits is too ambitious for a 3-4 day tour? We're not huge fans of sweeter wines, my husband prefers reds and I like everything :) I'm not sure if this helps with what types of regions in the area to consider staying in?

No matter what, we do plan to hire/work through a transportation company to take us to each vineyard.

Anyway, any advice on what region to stay in, WHICH Inns/Hotels to consider - any and all suggestions and guidance are very much appreciated. Thanks, all!

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