What SOLO Travel means to you

Old Apr 9th, 2005, 11:37 AM
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What SOLO Travel means to you

Hi
Whiile I rarely travel alone these days, I did for quite some time, years ago. I went to other countries with friends and alone and moved to other cities and countries alone.
Maybe then the emphasis was more on Where to go and How to get there, rather than Who is going with you or is it a Solo trip..but I know I never thought about it as being any bigger a deal than going with a friend.
So my question, someone mentioned that they thought Going Solo was "empowering"..
Do you think so? Why?
Have you traveled in the past and just done it and enjoyed it without it having that aspect to it?
Would you go alone if you had the choice of going with someone ?
As times change and people travel everywhere, alone and with someone else, why is "Solo" significant?
Thanks and I look forward to hearing all your different opinions and views..
(I do have two children who travel all over the world alone and with someone, so I am aware of some of their ideas on the subject, I am just wondering about those not related to me
If you like, include your destinations
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Old Apr 9th, 2005, 01:20 PM
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Since I'm the one who suggested that solo travel was empowering, I'll give you my take on this. I recently put together a brief "travelogue" on my Virtual Tourist pages on The Art of Solo Travel; http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/tt/5eb5b/#TL

In an ideal world I would have a life partner who shared my interests, habits, and quirks so completely that travel together was wonderful. Scarlett, I suspect that's what you and H have. But in the absence of that ideal scenario, I would rather travel alone than make do with a travel partner I didn't enjoy being with. And there are times when I truly enjoy venturing out by myself. There are adventures available to the solo traveler that simply don't happen when you're with someone else, for a variety of reasons.

That said, I really like traveling with my daughters. The downside is, then I have to pay for everything.
I also have had a great time on trips where I was on my own part of the trip and met up with someone for a few days.

There are destinations I wouldn't attempt to do on my own. In those instances I would sign on with a tour group. For me, these include Turkey, South America, Egypt, and Africa. I think I could and would do parts of Asia solo but not all. These places involve not only safety issues but the ease of managing connections and accommodations. I'm sure there are others here who would feel ok about doing those places solo as well.

As for empowering, there's something about knowing that you can transplant yourself to another world independently and handle yourself in some very alien situations without relying on someone else to intervene. And that you can have a great time in the process.
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Old Apr 9th, 2005, 01:27 PM
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Thank you!
I think what empowering made me think of was that alone a person cannot do certain things, and when I was younger and alone, I never let the fact that I was alone stop me from anything.
So I was wondering if it is the times we live in or was I that unaware in those days.
I SO believe that no one should let the fact that they have no travel partner to share the trip, stop them from taking that trip!
My daughter who used to be shy about going to a school event alone, will now fly to Belgium and rent a car and take off on her own..My son just spent 3 months in India, Thailand and in Paris (where he was not alone all the time.. )
I like to think that others are the same, if they can afford it, they will do it for the fulfillment, and that they will not let being Solo stop them.
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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 10:53 AM
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"Solo travel" for me is simply what I do because I am single. It's not a cause, or politic, philosophy, ideology, or religion. If I were married hopefully I'd "couple travel" but no one refers to that now, do they? -LOL.

I've had great past trips with lovers, close friends, family members, small casual groups, and alone.

I am picky about who I want to travel abroad with, so I would never search out a companion just to have someone to go along.

So to answer one of the original questions <Would you go alone if you had the choice of going with someone?> ... that depends entirely on who that someone is!!!
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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 10:58 AM
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Hmmm... I don't know if this counts as empowering, but I do absolutely love and crave the mental/physical/emotional rush that comes when you are standing someplace far away and brand new all by yourself.
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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 12:36 PM
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Scarlett, unlke you I never travelled on my own when I was younger, but since I became single again I was unable to find someone with the same interests a myself who was available to go with me.

A few years ago I mentioned to some friends that I wanted to visit Thailand. I had several people wanting to come with me but they wanted to go to Bangkok foe 3 days and then a beach for 10 days.

This was not my sort of holiday as I enjoy travelling so I went on my own and have never regretted it. Since then I travelled on my own to various different countries and throughly enjoyed the various places and cultures I have seen.

I take a guide book and a good novel for the dining room at night. I have also met lots of different people on my travels which, looking back, I don't think I would have done if I had been part of a couple.

Still go on short trips with friends which I greatly enjoy but my longer holidays these days tend to be solo. Having said that I may meet someone in the future who shares my interests then things may change but for the moment I am very happy with my travels, meeting new people, seeing different cultures and having new experiences.

Friends think I am so adventurous!!

Next trip is Italy in July (Wagner festival in Ravello) and then the Amalfi Coast. Looking forward to it.
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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 01:20 PM
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Perhaps you solo travel enthusiasts can help me understand something.

Almost all my travel is solo. That's not because I prefer it, enjoy it, find it "empowering" or "liberating," or anything like that. I travel alone because visiting an interesting place alone is almost always better than staying home alone. If I could travel only when someone is available to go with me, I would seldom get to go anywhere. I guess you could say that's what solo travel means to me-- I do it because I have no other choice. I usually have a decent enough time on my solo trips, but the travels I have enjoyed most are those unusual occasions when I have gone with other (compatible) people.

From reading books and forum posts here and elsewhere, I gather that I have two substantial handicaps that get in the way of fully appreciating solo travel. The first is that I am male. Almost everyone who writes about solo travel with effusive enthusiasm is female. Indeed one could easily come away with the (inaccurate) impression that solo travel is exclusively for women. In theory that would seem to offer me a distinct advantage and a very good reason to enjoy solo travel, but in practice I have encountered few if any unattached women during my travels.

The second handicap I have is that, for various reasons too boring to go into here, I do all my solo travel in the United States. The books and forum posts suggest that the cultural and language barriers inherent to foreign travel are a necessary ingredient to the enjoyment of solo travel. That promotes the bonding and mingling with locals, as well as with other solo travelers, that makes solo travel fulfilling. When you combine that with the prevailing mentality in this country that leisure travel is exclusively for couples and families, it doesn't make for an "empowering" experience (although, as I said, "soloing" can be a genuinely enjoyable alternative to staying home alone).

Also, my experiences have (mostly) been that the couples, families, and pairs of women friends I encounter don't often approach me or seem interested in talking to me when I approach them. Aside from obvious business travelers, I see people of either sex traveling solo so infrequently that I can't say whether it's easier to approach them. I really suspect solo women may have an easier time meeting people simply because they're usually not seen as a risk or threat.

I wonder whether there actually are any men who are enthusiastic about solo travel, particularly in the United States-- or are my (admittedly cynical) observations really correct? I'm asking in all seriousness. Since solo travel is my only option (other than staying home alone), I really would like to make the most of it and experience all the advantages and pleasures I read about from all the women who are so enthusiastic about it.

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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 01:27 PM
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My son told me that one of the biggest drawbacks to travel alone is that you laugh less.
When you are with someone, you share sights and sounds and laughs, but on your own, there is no one to laugh with.
Which made me feel bad for him, he was in India for 10 weeks and that was a long time to be alone..but he did meet some very interesting people and had company now and then. But he said also- If I wait for someone to go with me, to take that much time off and want to go where I go, I will never get to go!
To empower is to delegate or give power to yourself, which I feel means more that you lost it and got it back, which does not really apply to travel alone in the broad sense..that is what made me ask this question in the first place, but I am loving the answers
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Old Apr 10th, 2005, 02:42 PM
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JB, You have some interesting thoughts there. For my part, I suspect that more women think that solo travel is a bigger challenge than me. This might be because traditionally men have done more business travel (although obviously this trend is changing a lot). And you are likely correct in guessing that it's easier for women to connect with other travelers than
men. We certainly would be less intimidating.

As for choosing to travel solo or with others, I have had travel partners that I've just opted to quit traveling with. It seems to me that it's very difficult to find someone who's interests and habits match so well. For example, two planners are going to have a problem because they may conflict over what they want to do. Two non-planners could just get into too much trouble. The balance is a pretty fine line. I've gotten really tired of travel partners who take forever to get ready, who are cranky in the morning and have days when they don't want to talk, who don't want to walk as much as I do, or won't take a taxi when I don't want to walk. It's so much easier doing things my way on my own time. It's a lot easier to plan a trip for the dates that I want to go, and not have to consider someone else's dates, preferences and budget.

That said, I usually get one lonely, homesick day on every trip. But it passes. I have met more people when I travel alone than when I'm preoccupied with my travel partner. I've had more unusual experiences. And most people I know think I'm either very gutsy and adventurous, or very stupid, so I guess it's not all that common yet. My daughters are solo travelers some times, Scarlett's kids travel solo... I think it's going to be a lot less rare as time passes. I think it's empowering to be able to do what you want to do without waiting for someone to give you permission or assistance.
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Old Apr 11th, 2005, 12:00 AM
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Hi Scarlet - It came a point in my life that I realized the payback of having a girlfriend or family member traveling with me is not worth the hassle. I have to compromise on the time of the year, length of travel, where to stay, what to see, what to eat, do I need to go on??? I thought to myself, no thank you...I decided to risk it and wish for the best. I have not even once got homesick or felt lonely. I have thoroughly enjoyed my solo trips and I learned a lot about the places I visited. Saying all that I will drop traveling alone the minute I can travel with a boyfriend or a husband that I get along with. Key phrase is "get along with¨ I have seen different reactions from kudos to pity for traveling alone. I have made sure not to let the first one get to my head and the latter to drag me down.

You asked is traveling solo significant? Yes and no.
I think to have an enjoyable successful solo travel you need to have a level of independence, self-confidence, and self-reliance and not everyone possesses these qualities. It is definitely more uncomfortable and concerning to be alone versus a couple or in a group when you run into a totally unforeseen situation. Saying all that I still think traveling solo to parts of the world that have good tourist infra structure is not so tough. I have found out as long as I know English, know how to read a map and travel book, and have basic survival skills, I can do it and recover from any situation and will only affect my comfort level sometimes.

I do think traveling solo to the areas of the world with no tourist infra structure without a tour or even with a tour in some instances is significant. Walking into a country with a culture totally different from what one is used to solo is significant and much more challenging than going with a travel companion.
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Old Apr 11th, 2005, 06:20 AM
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SOLO Travel to me means (like everthing else in my life)freedom. I don't get much freedom, I must work I must pay bills I must on a day to day basis do things I would rather not do. So freedom is very important to me and I grab it when I can
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Old Apr 11th, 2005, 09:24 AM
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For JBH,

I'm not sure about the meeting people thing (male vs. female experience). When I travel alone I'm not really interested in hooking up with strangers, so never put energy into trying to.

Also it's true, I would be FAR less excited about "solo travel" if it's only within the United States. Somehow that just isn't much of an adventure to my mind. So yes, the "foreigness" of the language and culture is definitely a big part of the appeal to me, traveling solo or with a companion along.
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Old Apr 11th, 2005, 11:45 AM
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I am a single 40 something female and have travelled solo for business and pleasure for the past 20 years.

I, too, enjoy various types of travel (solo, friend, family,lover) and all for different reasons. At this age, my habits and routines are pretty well ingrained, as are my desires when I have free time to enjoy. I like to run or hit the gym each morning and then linger over coffee and a paper. These are pretty much solo activities.

I like to "nap" or at least crawl into bed with book for an hour in the afternoon while on a trip and then take my time getting ready for dinner, always stopping somewhere interesting for a glass of wine. These are some of life's simple pleasures for me.

I have generally found that there are single men travelling as well as single women and I have met some truly interesting people while on trips. Also, couples sometimes are frienndly but I have found that more often than not, the woman has to be really secure in her relationship of it can be awkward. I am no movie star but I am attractive and interesting and open to talking to new people. Sometimes the female part of the couple is quite cold and I take the hint quickly.

I agree that Europe is the most fun solo but I also like city weekends and cruises if that is what I am in the mood for at the time.

I do think it is a big deal for many people as they are simply not accustomed to having an adventure on their own. I have friends that would prefer take out or room service to enjoying a nice dinner out if they have to eat alone. That is most definietly not me!

The empowering part is making your way through foreign countries on your own and making the day to day decisions and choices that requires. It is empowering to dress up for a nice dinner and sit at a communal table or at a bar and strike up a conversation with perfect strangers who do not speak your language very well.

Travel changed my life when I began travelling internationally as a teen exchange student. My eyes were opened to new worlds and new experiences and I have not lost my thirst for this even a little.

Most of my friends are married or unable or uninterested in seeing the world as I do. And often I simply prefer my own company (no snoring to put up with, no PJs required).

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Old Apr 11th, 2005, 06:45 PM
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Hi ladies,
This is my very first posting.I am turning 56 ,single mom for 20 years and celebrating the "Freedom" of my children leaving home.I travelled alot before i had children,Europe/Israel/USA and regret that i should have been solo..always restless to keep moving on .never "free " to "Just Go" without plans and responsibilities to anyone.
I am returning to Italy for my second year .Last summer i did my maiden solo voyage in 30 years, to Florence,Venice,Sienna,Cinque Terre,Lucca....i now feel like 20 years old again.... travelling solo does this sort of thing.I am on my way in May to take a oil-painting workshop/travel trip to Milan/ Lac Como/Bellagio for 2 weeks.Thanks to Rick Steves/Karen Brown's Inn's,Trip Advisor and Fodor'...I organize evrything on-line and book it all..... ....i am ..already thinking about booking a Jewish Historic trip to Eastern Europe in October ...and i haven't even left for Italy.I just joined Fodor's and have already found 2 private touring guides in Budapest and Prague on this Site.
Just How "Empowering" can Life get!
I also have a 27 year old daughter coming off a 5 month Gap African Tanzania tour.Hard to "Let Go" of her when she first told me she wanted to live at the base of Kilimanjaro for 1 month ..then travel 77 Cross-country days from Nairobi to Capetown...Whoa Baby!!Left Canada not knowing a soul on the tour.The next difficulty for me is saying goodbye to her again....when she gets hired to be a Tour Leader ...
My daughter was the one who gave me the book "The Art of Solo Travel"so Thank-You!
Life is a Journey with much Wisdom from Solo travel. ladies...i bid you .Sweet Dreams ,Sweet travels..Ciao Bellas
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Old Apr 12th, 2005, 04:10 PM
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I am taking my first solo trip alone to Japan in 2 months and I'm scared to death but excited. Reading these posts shore up my courage !

I have been to several countries with friends and I don't know about the rest of you but there's always that one day during the trip where you fall out with each other. It winds up being smoothed over by the end of the day but I always thought in the back of my mind, "If only I went by myself.." .

Just the freedom of planning your own activities or not planning anything at all without having to feel guilty about it is worth it.

If I can pull this off successfully, it's going to spur me on to hit the road more often to more exotic places ALONE!
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Old Apr 12th, 2005, 04:39 PM
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Sologal, Good for you! And the fact that you've raised an adventurer even further speaks to your own spirit!

Skyhopper, you'll have a great trip. I hope you'll share your plans and post a trip report when you get back. You never know who you encourage with your posts.
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Old Apr 12th, 2005, 07:09 PM
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Sologal, I hope next time you register, you will come tell us more about your trip to Italy!
I know what you mean about the kids traveling,saying goodbye is always the hard part.
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Old Apr 13th, 2005, 08:04 AM
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I totally agree with those who mentioned the freedom of where you want to go when you want to go, when and where to eat, etc. Maybe I'm difficult, but I don't know very many people with whom I would want to spend so much time. Maybe for short domestic trips but not longer trips in Europe. I really need my own space! Unfortunately my favorite traveling companion is not particularly interest in Europe. I also think traveling alone is a self-confidence booster. I've had (sometimes still do have) self-esteem problems, and solo travel IS empowering for that. And if I need to be around people, I can always join up with a day tour. The one drawback to solo traveling is having to go to the bathroom in an airport because there is no one to watch my bag for me.
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Old Apr 13th, 2005, 08:21 AM
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The one drawback to solo traveling is having to go to the bathroom in an airport because there is no one to watch my bag for me.</>

Poohgirl, You nailed it!
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Old Apr 13th, 2005, 08:22 AM
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Darn, I should have previewed!
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