Wannabe female solo traveler seeking reassurance

Old Mar 6th, 2015, 10:34 PM
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Wannabe female solo traveler seeking reassurance

Hi all
After lurking around this forum for many months now, it's almost embarrassing that I write this post. I have read numerous trip reports on here and hopefully one day I can contribute one of my own.

But before I can do that, I need to overcome this reluctance (more like fear, tbh) to travel solo. I have previously traveled 'alone' in my mid to late 20s, but not the kind you would put in the solo travel basket. I lived in Dubai with a family member for six months where I had to go out on my own and meet people. I did a study abroad program for 9 months in the UK and I spent a month in the US - 5 days alone in NY and a tour group for the rest of the time. The common elements to all these trips were that I spoke the local language and felt a sense of security for some reason. And they were all quite successful.

But now I want to really want to do the solo thing, and I have a strong desire to visit SEA (Vietnam, Thailand, Laos and Cambodia), India and Sri Lanka. But I constantly find myself worrying about taking such a trip.

My concerns:

Living in a hostel: 2015/16 will be my year for travel. However, I'm in my (early-ish) 30s now and have never stayed in a hostel which I imagine is filled with young, loud, extroverted people. I am shy and introverted and struggle to initiate conversation with strangers so I imagine it would all be very overwhelming. I guess I am looking to hear stories from people like me and how they coped. Are there any other budget options in these countries where I would meet people who are not into just drinking and partying and who are traveling to learn about the culture (apologies for sounding like a snob, or an introvert, whichever way you want to look at it)?

Security: I guess this stems from the fact that I would not know the local language, but I worry about safety for female solo travelers, particularly in India (sorry if I am jumping on the fear-mongering bandwagon).

Using public transport: I guess I'm not referring to short trips but more about the long term/over night journeys as I would love to explore, especially going off the beaten track. Is it safe to go off the beaten track if traveling solo? How do i stay safe if i do?

Like i said, writing this is a bit embarrassing because it seems like for many of the regulars here, traveling solo is like second nature. Where would you recommend I start to get over the initial nerves? Apologies for rambling on. Any advice would be appreciated
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Old Mar 7th, 2015, 06:46 AM
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Answered on the Asia board.
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Old Mar 8th, 2015, 08:23 AM
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I've traveled solo, but to places like Mexico, Hawaii, Caribbean, major cities of Europe.

I think most of your valid concerns are not so much related to solo travel, but you have picked what most would consider fairly "adventurous" destinations for a first trip, regardless of who was going or who you were going with.

Rather than diving into the deep end of the pool, so to speak, why not start with easier locations, to gain confidence traveling on your own? Go to Paris or Amsterdam for a couple weeks, instead of "off the beaten path" in India. That's what I would recommend to get over your intial nervousness.

That's my long-winded way of saying, I think solo travel is great, but there are lots of way less intimidating trips to start out with, than the one you proposed. sincerely, suze
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Old Mar 8th, 2015, 08:35 AM
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As I posted on the Europe board, India is indeed graduate level travel. Southeast Asia, however, is very easy. Arguably easier than a large European city. I cannot imagine describing most of it as "adventurous".
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Old Mar 8th, 2015, 09:42 AM
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Not all hostels are party central. I recommend using some of the review sites such as hostelz.com, hostelbookers, and even tripadvisor to look at reviews. You can get a good idea as to which hostels are "party central" and which are not. Another option is to book into small guesthouses, with just a few rooms. I have been able to find some good ones using booking.com, no I haven't traveled in SE Asia but quite off the beaten path in South America as far as western tourism goes. I find the operators of the guest houses will take good care of you and advise on the best/safest ways to get between places and may offer pickup services from bus depots and/or airports. I will always try to first transfer to the lodging, deposit luggage, and then I feel I less of a target when sightseeing.
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Old Mar 9th, 2015, 02:11 AM
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Thanks guys. I never considered guesthouses as an option. I will certainly investigate this when i look at accommodation.

I'll also take your advice and leave India for another time, maybe when I have a bit more confidence or if i can get a group together.

I really appreciate all your advice
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Old Mar 9th, 2015, 08:58 AM
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Arguably easier than a large European city. I cannot imagine describing most of it as "adventurous".

Since I have not traveled in Southeast Asia it sounds adventurous to me, especially for someone who has not traveled on their own before.

I just think a city like Amsterdam or Paris or Venice is very easy, because it's a city. I've never had a problem with language barrier or figuring out public transportation or finding things to do or where to eat or whatever (with almost no advanced planning). I stayed at low-ish priced hotels.

I understand this person wants to do a different kind of trip. To a part of the world I have not traveled.

My comments were sharing own experiences from when I first traveled solo, what seemed easy and not intimidating to me, in answer to the going places alone part of the inquiry.
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Old Mar 9th, 2015, 11:01 AM
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There are people who think traveling to London is adventurous....
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Old Mar 9th, 2015, 11:33 AM
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No argument there.
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Old Mar 14th, 2015, 06:02 AM
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I think you should travel solo in destinations closer to your culture. If you are from Europe, then maybe some other European country and if you are from Asia, some close by Asian country. Once you are comfortable, you can try the countries out of your comfort zone.

From your question, I understand your personal safety is not something thats worry and keeping you from traveling solo - instead, it is the fact that you are are introvert. Just in case that is also a fear lurking somewhere....let me assure you that for women safety is an issue in every country. Common sense also goes a long way in being safe.
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Old Mar 16th, 2015, 11:43 AM
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I'm an introvert who travels solo. As a woman traveling alone I feel like my introversion works in my favor, as I do not become too friendly with anyone who might follow me back to my hotel.

A few years back I traveled solo after not having done it for a long time, mostly just to see if I still had it in me. And I'm pleased to say it's like riding a bike - you never forget and it's like you never stopped.

I'm older now, and very circumspect about my safety. I don't go out and relax and have a few drinks - if I drink it's one, with a meal. If I walk to dinner when it's still light out I pay attention to how well lit the route is. No jewelry, old Timex watch, cheap sunglasses, very small crossbody bag.
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Old Mar 23rd, 2015, 10:35 AM
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Hi there, I would just like to add, that I started backpacking at the age of 49, SOLO all the way. I have travelled 18 countries, including India and Nepal Solo last year. I do agree that I won't do it for a first time round, and agree with other travellers to go and explore some of the European countries. My first country was New Zealand, and I must admit, it was very easy to get around, and they are so well organized when it comes to accommodating backpackers. The Kiwi Express is a blessing.. and really makes life very easy for first time backpacking. You will get a good idea, and it is very safe all over. After NZ I backpacked Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam. I found my way around, and you do meet so many people on your travels, and are never alone, even at my age I also did South America, Turkey, Greece, Croatia, Slovenia, Hungary and some others. What I do look at before travelling to a country is read up about the dangers, scams, and some general info, it has really helped me a lot. I don't go out at night, unless I am with other backpackers, or otherwise will stay in the vicinity of my backpackers hostel. So start off in a country where you will feel more at ease, and once you have done that you will feel more at easy going else where. I have enjoyed each and every trip I have done, and am off to Morocco in July/August this year. Just thought I'd also drop you a note. Happy travels, and enjoy all! goodluck..
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Old Jul 12th, 2015, 09:25 PM
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As a female solo traveller I would suggest smaller hostels and guesthouses. However I do NOT recommend Booking.com. Used it once before and they don't do a lot of background checks for their accommodations. Had a serious issue with them on my last solo trip and the hotel manager in south America and it was actually quite scary. Hostelbookers or Expedia is good enough!
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Old Jul 13th, 2015, 03:23 AM
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So sorry to hear you had a bad experience! Could you say more about it, and why you think it was booking.com's fault? I have booked a lot of hotels through them and would recommend using them.
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Old Jul 13th, 2015, 07:44 PM
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Ditto thursdaysd -- I sincerely wish that you hadn't had such a bad experience and would really like to hear more about how booking.com was involved.

I hope you are OK!
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Old Jul 13th, 2015, 08:52 PM
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Yes, we would like to know about your experience, or at least a link to your review on booking.com or tripadvisor.

I've also used hostelbookers and Expedia. The former tends to have only the cheapest lodgings, and the latter tends to have the most expensive. Booking.com usually has a wider range, and about 4 times the number of listings as the other two.
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Old Nov 13th, 2015, 01:11 PM
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I am planning a visit to Tanzania in mid May 2016. I will be going by self (can't believe friends or family have zero interest in a safari). Looking at Kensington Tours. For anyone who has done this by self, do they put you in with another group? I don't want to be by self on all the game drives. Is most dining communal? Any thoughts or suggestions are welcome.
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Old Nov 13th, 2015, 02:37 PM
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You should post on the Africa/Middle East forum. (see the 'change forum' pull down menu) Lots of safari experts there.
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Old Nov 29th, 2015, 08:08 AM
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If you are interested in Italy, there are convents which are open to guests. Simple, clean, usually breakfast included. I'd think a female solo traveler would feel quite safe there. Personally, I would choose a convent over a hostel.
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Old Nov 29th, 2015, 10:53 AM
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Tabernash: >>If you are interested in Italy . . .
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