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Packing Help - What to take

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Okay I admit it... if there is an Overpackers Anonymous I should join. I have been guilty of that in the past, but know I have to mend my ways. (In my defence we normally travel in our 40' motorhome so it is not normally an issue).
Well, this time we are going overseas and my mind is boggled. I really don't know where to start, or I guess it's more that I don't know where to quit.
So here is the trip - 5 days in Dublin on our own, then a 2 week bus tour around Ireland. I have already asked if there is a chance to do laundry during the bus trip and they said no. Then fly to Amsterdam for 4 days on our own and then take a river cruise for 15 days, then 5 days on our own in Budapest before flying back to Dublin, then home. I know I can do laundry in between the 2 week trip but it is the 2 week periods that are troublesome for me.
Basically it is 2 separate trips and I am thinking 2 different types of clothing needed. We leave the last week of Aug and come back the first week of Oct, so I expect we will also have variance in weather that we'll have to take into account.
I know that the key will be coordinating what I do take. The bus tour only allows one suitcase per person and a small backpack that they provide. I hope to keep the suitcase around 40 lbs.
Any suggestions and specifics are greatly appreciated. My 'style' leans more towards comfortable casual clothes than fancy smanzy things.

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