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Needing a Notorized form for kids whos dad not involved?

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I read a previous question about whether i need something notorized from my kids dad to lleave the country. I still need some help. I tried to go to Canada a few years ago and was harrassed by the border patrol about not having anything for my daughter to be able to take her there. I was told I need to have this to take her. Her father has never been involved and has no want to give me this form to travel with her. WHAT DO I DO? I read peoples comments back saying you don't need one but in my experience I do.
Any ideas legally or otherwise?
Thanks

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