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Italy - Rome, Florence and Naples or Rome, Florence and Venice ??

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Help!! So many questions.

My mother, myself and sister are travelling in Sept or Oct 2009 to Italy. Any preference?

1) Should we fly into Florence and start our trip there or fly into Rome and take a train directly to Florence and tour Rome at the end of our trip? Which is cheaper, I heard flying directly into Florence could be more costly vs. into Rome then train to Florence.

2) - Stay in Florence for 3 nights to visit Lucca, Lisa, Siena and Assisi or none, some or all. (3) nights too long? From there train to Naples for (2)nights to visit Sorrento, Pompeii, maybe Capri then train to Rome for last days/nights and fly out of Rome back home.

3) 10 day tour, is that enough? Oh, what about Venice, should we forget Naples and go to Venice?

4) We are 69, 50 and 44. Want the "must sees" Tower of Pisa, Colosseum, St. Peter's, Spanish Steps, gardens/little towns, people watching, wine, food, shopping, etc. We only thought of Venice for the Gondola ride as seen in the movies.

5) Any flea markets - love, love, love flea markets...small quaint towns with little shops?
Read about Piazza dei Coimpi and Piazza delle Pulci flea markets? Worth going to?
Mercato Delle Cascine or Porcellino?

6) Also want a wine tour... in Florence? Any recommendations or are they all over, just book when we get there.

7) We are NOT going to attempt renting a car so this would all be via walk, train, ferry and bus.

I know a lot to if you can. Getting confused on how to get from A to B back to A????

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