If this is a "girl's trip", and you're looking to relax, then you won't want to miss the highly rated and really unique "Fish Spa", for some really relaxing and luxurious massage/exfoliation/pedicures. There are 2 locations - the one downtown offers more services.
Also you'll likely want to get out for some shopping, so plan to spend some time at the Kulkulkan Plaza (which is upscale - so bring your Gucci wallets), or the La Isla Mall (which has a lovely river running through it, lots of affordable shops, has an aquarium, a McDonald's, and even a movie theater.
Also, for a "girl's trip", don't miss Chocolate City - save some room for their delicious chocolate desserts.
You may also want to take the ferry across to Isla Mujeres and enjoy the beach/bars/restaurants over there for a great day out. Isla Mujeres is much more laid back and is very picturesque and feels a lot more like Mexico than the Cancun hotel strip does.
For partying at night, most people like "The City", Basic, Sweet, and Dady O's clubs. Many people don't like Coco Bongo, but it's a unique experience, so many people go just to say they've been there.
The hotel strip/zone, which is where you will be staying, is mostly hotels. It's well maintained, safe, and in some ways looks more like Miami Beach than Mexico. Some parts of the hotel strip are quiet - some parts are busy with restaurants, stores, malls, a flea market, ruins, and lots of entertainment and activities. No matter where you are on the hotel strip, you can easily hop on the city bus (very cheap, very fun) to get around, or get a taxi. I personally never bother with the hassle of renting a car.
If you want to venture into town, there is even a Walmart for any essentials you may have forgotten to pack, and some bigger flea markets that you can stroll around.
November weather should be fine (it is at the very end of hurricane season). You likely won't find Cancun to be very crowded then.
Now, if you had said you wanted to get out for some adventure, zip-lining, snorkeling/scuba, seeing the ruins, eco parks, swimming with dolphins, swimming in underground caves, going to Chichen Itza, etc, my response to you would have been completely different. There are dozens and dozens of tours you can take (where they'll come and pick you up at the door of your hotel) and there are many day trips to interesting areas that are available. There's such a wide variety of things to do in the Cancun area, so if you're just looking to relax and enjoy the beaches this time, you'll have plenty left to do next time.

We are looking to do zip lining, snorkeling, seeing the ruins, and try as much stuff while we can. Would Nov still be a good month? We were looking at tour groups for those kind of activities. Should we wait to book or book when we are there?

Book group tours well in advance. The small tour operators only take a limited number of people, and they are often the ones who offer the best tours.
Also, sometimes when you're going with a small tour operator, and they have a selection of tours available, if you're the first one to book for a particular day, you often get to choose the tour that they do on that day.

Booking for a holiday weekend, it's going to very crowded and very expensive.

No, I would not rent a car in Cancun. Most everything is either walkalbe or take the bus.

Another suggestion is Aqua World.

http://www.aquaworld.com.mx/cancun-tours.htm

snorkling, day trips to Cozumel and Isla Mujeres, parasailing, jungle tours, semi-sub, etc.

You can book tours on-line before arriving or book with the tour desk of the hotel you chose.

I have used this tour company on several occasions:

http://www.cancun-discounts.com/cancun-tours.htm?gclid=CNKj8bDKvLECFRDDtgodZBsAzg

Things like zip lining and ruins are outside of the Playa del Carmen area. That's about 45 minutes from Cancun to just get to Playa and than about another hour or so to get to those activities, so it's usually a long day trip.

Look into Edventure Tours. They have some set tours but will also design a day around what you want to do.
http://www.edventuretours.com.mx/

Both excellent hotels. I've only stayed at the JW, which is newer. But I'd be happy to stay at either.