Male teachers have you or anyone you know

Certainly no experience with this, but best wishes to you and your family. I know that false accusations happen and it must be devestating.

a male friend ( teacher) did ; took two years before it was in court. the judge threw the case out.

I am so sorry nelsonian. Not a teacher but a couple I knew well volunteered to chaperone for an evening dance at a local middle school. The chaperones were told to not allow any student leave the dance unless their parents were there to pick them up. Two girls who had been acting rather wild during the dance suddenly tried to dart out the door. My friend's husband put out his arm to block the door while telling them they could not leave until their parents arrived. The girls got very angry. Later they claimed that he had grabbed on of the girls breast. His wife was standing right there and witnessed that he had only put his arm across the door and the girl crashed into his arm.

After many miserable months the charge were dropped. It never went to court. But they had legal bills and her husband's name had been in the newspaper etc. They had always volunteered for various things in the community but not after that horrible situation. They rather became recluses inspite of support from their friends including us.

So not real positive except the charge was dropped and all who knew them were loyal friends. May you be surrounded with love and good support my dear.

Nelsonian, we had an acquaintance who was falsely accused and it had a devastasting effect on his life and his family's life. Eventually, the girl recanted, but of course not everyone hears that part, they only remember the accusation. I will say that his wife stood by him and that was probably the only thing that saved his sanity.

I am very, very sorry that you are going through this! Other children of all ages can be I hope and pray that the case comes to an early and favorable resolution for your husband and family!!

I really feel for you. A female friend of my sons is in University and wanted to falsely accuse her male professor because he gave her a low mark. I was so bleeping angry when I heard this. She said he touched her foot when it was sticking out from her desk. After my son talked to her she changed her mind.

I hope you and your family remain strong and get through this. It truly is a nightmare.

I wonder sometimes why anyone wants to have anything to do with someone elses kids these days.

I have no advice for you, but hope that this can be dealt with quickly and your husband is exonerated.

nelsonian,
I wish you all the best of luck with this. I agree that most of these cases are thrown out but not before all the anxiety, stress and heartache that comes with the accusation.

My SO is a university professor and he won't meet with any students (male or female) with his office door closed. And I was recently talking with a woman who's a kindergarten teacher and she says it breaks her heart that she can no longer hug or even put her arm around a distressed child.

What a sad, sad statement on our society.

Good luck, nelsonian. Come here to rant whenever you need to get it off your chest.

Nelsonian...oh, man. I am so sorry for all this crap you have to go through.

I am a (female) teacher and your husband is living out our biggest fear. I am so very, very sorry.

Yes, a fellow male teacher of my sister was accused of child molestation by 3 students from 7th grade.

His co-teachers knew that he was innocent but the headmistress did not give the male teacher any chance. This was in a Catholic school so there was zero tolerance for this kind of thing after all the scandal in the past.

One of the religion teachers decided to discuss the sin of bearing false witness against your neighbor in her class. When she began to describe how far false accusations can go to ruin a persons life, the girls started to cry. Two went to the headmistress and recanted. The leader of the pack refused but her charges were thrown out.

When asked why they did this, the girls said because he was too strict and gave them too much work!

I'm praying for a swift and positive outcome for you and your family.

Come back often. We are here for you.

My husband's friend defended a man who was also accused of a similar case. He was tried then found not guilty.

I know things will work out for your husband too. Good luck and your Fodor's "family" will be there to keep you in our thoughts.

Nelsonian,

I am so, so, so sorry to hear this...I work with kids and coach high school cheerleading and even as a female, this is my nightmare. My heart and prayers are with you and your family.

E.

Kids today know they can cause harm by false accusations - it can be a "get even" thing for them.

One teen went to live with her father because the mother couldn't handle her anymore. She wouldn't obey anyone and the father has his limit and hit her across her face. He ended up in a courtroom. This man was a good and decent man.

Kids know they can get away with it.

Lots of prayers are coming your way.

In this case the child who is 7 hasn't actually made a complaint, it is the mother who has made the complaint and the police aren't going to interview the child. The child is not aware a complaint has been made.

DH teaches in student's homes where there is always a parent or care-giver around to avoid these type of accusations but ended up with one anyway.

The sad thing is that DH is a great teacher, he makes learning music fun, he has taught hundreds of children and adults throughout the years, now once he gets through this will have to find another type of job.

Nelsonian - you will get through this, as hard as it may be.

Nelsonian, I am truly sorry for you and your family.

I know this can happen - and am sorry for your situation. But I think it's better to be open about these things than to have them hidden away the way they were in the past (legitimate accusations that is - not false ones). I think a lot of the problem is that we don;t have very good definitions - and different cultures have varying ideas of personal space.

I had a high school chemistry teach who made me extremely uncomfortable. While there was nothing criminal, he way overstepped the line (called me pet names, always had his arm draped about the back of my lab stool, somehow always ended up in the supply closet when I was there, would turn up at my locker between classes). Looking back I don;t think he had evil intent - but did have a sort of crush. (It was his first year teaching and he was only about 23 - but I was 15 and to me he was old and it was very creepy.)

Now I never complained - but probably should have - so someone could have told him to back off. But - we were much more innocent then. And, he never touched me - but did make me uncomfortable for a whole year.

This happened to my Uncle, towards the end of his 35 year career as an English teacher in a high school. Eventually, it was found to be false. But, imagine the humiliation to a man who has had a spotless career for 30 plus years.

As a parent, I would be outraged if I thought someone messed with children. But after a spotless career that is twice as long as the child is in age, what can you do? The adult is always presumed guilty until all the facts are in, and then it's too late for the adults reputation. It's something you never can retrieve.

Hang in there and know that truth is on your side. And the truth will out.

When I was an English teacher in Baltimore (this was many years ago, right after I graduated from Dartmouth), I had the opposite happen. A 14-year-old girl assaulted me. She put her hands in my hair and rubbed my back. Luckily, another student saw her and I had her suspended for 10 days and purposely failed her for the year.

Is your husband a member of a teachers' union? If so, they will pay for a lawyer.

I had a gay friend accused of indecent assault against a teenage girl. He had to work in the office until the charges were finally dropped. He never really worried because he had about 10 ex-lovers ready to be deposed. It seems dumb girl didn't realize her teacher was gay when she lied. Moron.

My husband is a middle school principal and usually after an investigation, the student who brings charges recants because they get caught up in their lies.

I am a volunteer tutor for ELL's in Philly. My kids wouldn't think about lying about something like this.

Thingorjus

What a horrible thing to have happen! I'm so sorry Nelsonian. Some parents are really a child's worse nightmare. It confounds me that someone would want to ruin a pristine reputation for kicks and giggles, and traumatize both the child and the teacher in the process.

The truth will set everyone free. Unfortunately, your DH will still walk away with a ruined reputation. People hear only what they want to hear. It sucks.

Oh nelsonian, my heart aches for you...as retired teachers, that was the one thing I always feared...know too many falsely accused..and unfortunately a few who were rightfully accused. I know..many people still live by the old tenet "where there is smoke there is fire"...whatever the outcome.. the trauma and turmoil is
unbearable. I doubt you will get any negative responses...having the courage to reach out to Fodor Friends is a step in the right direction...hugs and prayers..

I am so sorry.

The only 2 I've known that were accused left their jobs. But they were in retirement age range, though were not planning on it.

In one case, the student later admitted he had made up the story. In the other case, there was not an admission by the student that she fabricated the story, but she made the identical accusation of sexual abuse (same storyline and details) of her own family members. She was not mentally stable.

If your husband is a public school teacher, there are numerous layers of legal assistance.

Dh is not a qualified teacher that teaches in the school system, although he does teaches in a couple of school during the lunch hour. He has all the appropriate paper-work to be able to do that.

He is a self-employed music teacher, teaching privately in people's homes mostly.

I'm a music teacher, also, and teach at the high school level. Supposedly, music teachers are high on the list of teachers who are accused of sexual assault. A gentle correction of a hand position on a student's instrument, or the posture of a singer, can all of a sudden be blown out of proprtion to the extent that one loses their job. My district is becoming pretty famous for all the assault scandals happening there. Teachers don't even try to break up fights anymore, because students twist the facts around, and try to blame the teachers for everything. The latest "front page incident" has resulted in the teacher getting his teaching job back, but not his coaching position. He has also asked for a transfer to another school within district, since the girl who falsely accused him is still in the high school (she turns 19 this year...!!! hmmmmmmm...) Personally, if I saw her name on my roster of students for this year, I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable having her in my class! (even more so if I were a male teacher)

Unfortunately for your husband, unless he has tenure (and it does not sound like that at all, since he is hired only for private lessons or sectionals, correct?)
he will probably not be asked back to teach there, and he will need to put up a fight to clear his name. If it's his word against the student's and there are no other witnesses, it's rough. Sadly, there are many of these incidents taking place, and it makes me glad that I am a woman, and somewhat less likely to be accused of certain kinds of assault, etc. (That doesn't mean I don't get in trouble for verbally slipping up now & then, and telling off nasty, smart ass kids who have no respect for authority!) It's a rough world out there, and teaching is not an easy profession. However, someone has to do it, as it's such an important job, so hopefully society will wake up and guide their youngsters so that they do not falsely accuse people just because they do not like them, or they were not given a good grade, etc!

I am so sorry, Nelsonian. What a terrible thing to go through.... the injustice is the salt in the wound. Truth will prevail. Stay tough.

Hi N,

Sorry to hear about this.

DH has hired an attorney who is well versed in these sorts of cases, yes?

It is not necessarily true that he will have to give up his teaching.

Best wishes.

Accusing someone of sexual assualt is the "Witch" cry of this era.

My Sister accused my Mother of sexually assualting her.

The first we knew of it was when my 17 year old sister did not come home from high school.

She had been taken into protective custody by the IL Dept of Child & Family Services. It tore our family apart. My step-father took this opportunity to divorce my Mom & marry his mistress.

It did not matter what my Mom said. Everything my Sister said was taken as fact. The resolution was my parents divorced & my Sister moved back home with her Dad.

Within 6 months she had left her Father's house & moved back in with Mom. The whole thing took less than two years.

If I had been my Mom I would never have had anything to do with her ever again!

Cheribob, how awful for your poor mother! Only diagnosed mental illness and/or a complete religious conversion---complete with recanting and asking forgiveness for her sins, and a life well lived from that point on---would ever inspire me to forgive a person who did as your sister.

An amazing awful story as well, Cheribob. Your poor mother. Perpetual pursuit of atonement comes to mind... such a huge injustice.

I think this whole issue is about power. Unfortunately in our society, if any young girl student claims this, she is believed and the teacher is guilty until proven innocent. So, so sad. The teacher is basically powerless. WHY? It is like a witchhunt, because the accusation is enough to establish the suspicion on the teacher...

I would talk with a lawyer.

Why would the mother say this? If your husband is in her home, isn't she also somewhat responsible for what occurs while he is there?

Some terribly sad and ruinous stories here. Nelsonian, please tell us what happens and I hope it is good news eventually.

Perhaps the support of other students can help you emotionally and even legally if it comes to that.

I'm sure you are living a nightmare right now.

nelsonian, I am so sorry this is happening to you. I can only imagine your frustration. My heart goes out to you.

I remember when my kids were in preschool in the late 80's/early 90's and the false accusations of child molestation were reaching their peak during the McMartin Preschool travesty in California. Our children's preschool teachers were advised to be very careful about touching the children. Most of the teachers continued to give hugs to our kids, thank goodness.

I have a dear friend who was falsely accused of sexual abuse at work. People who knew both parties and had been present during one of the supposed times of abuse (including his wife!) knew the charges were false. The woman was competing with the guy for a promotion and had the reputation of being nasty. The company didn't want a lawsuit, though, so they fired the guy to make it go away. He could have sued but was advised this would not be in his best interest, as it would then be made public and it could affect his job opportunities in the future. In retrospect, he wishes he had sued, as the market was tight at the time and it took him quite some time to find an equivalent job.

Thanks for your messages of support. I will keep you posted. There is a depositions hearing on the 30th September, there is a chance the case could get thrown out there.

Cheribob, I'm with you. I would not have allowed her back in the house to potentially do it again.

A good friend of mine was head soccer coach at an all girls high school. He was a wonderful coach, knows the game inside-out, was an outstanding player (in fact still is as we play together on an old farts team) and had a winning record every season. Yet he gave it up because of the fear that he would be accused of some improper conduct. He never was and would never do anything like that, but he indicated that even the simplest thing, like a pat on the back for a well scored goal or any touch at all could lead the evil minded to assume he was a pervert. He made little money for coaching these teams - it was for the love of the game and to help the players develop, yet he gave it up rather than risk being falsely accused. Sad.

My mother retired after teaching kindergarten ~ 3rd grade for 30 years. She wasn't really ready to, but at a staff meeting the principal warned them not to help a child with their clothing. Apparently, one of the 1st grade teachers was accused of assault when she tried to help a little boy with a stuck zipper. They were told if the child has a clothing problem leave it alone and call the parents to fix it.

My mom had to help kids on a daily basis with their clothes. So many kids at that age can't even tie their shoes, much less free up a stuck zipper. She just did not want the hassle of having to call a parent or let the child go with non functioning clothing for the entire day. It was the meeting that sort of pushed her into retirement.

I just saw the part where child is 7 - isn't it kind of worrysome?

I thought she was 10-13 but seven?
And you think 7 y/olds making up the stories? I am just wondering.

My kid's music teacher has 2 rooms where doors are open all the time and parents can actually watch kids sing or play an instrument.
Maybe you need to keep doors open.
And does mother wants her child to continue her music with your husband?
If yes - than there is no case!
Don't be to quick to show her the door - if she will come a few times - anyone will say - case is a bogus. Good luck!

It is sad that a few perverts have made it difficult for everyone having contact with children.

Our church has a "safe church" policy that, among other things, mandates 2 unrelated adults be in room at all times with kids. My son's soccer coach in middle and high school requested emails of PARENTS and made it clear he did not even want emails of kids to avoid any appearance of nastiness.

And as far as do 7 year olds lie - yes, they do. While it is likely that most 7 year olds would not lie about such a thing, there have been enough cases of lies or planted thoughts, that one can not just assume a 7 year old does not lie. My own sister did - much to the distress of our entire family. And we know they were lies because the situations she described could not have happened - by logistics, location, etc.

I am so sorry Nelsonian.
My DH is a high school teacher and got accused of roughing up a kid while breaking up a fight this year.
The mother met my DH in the school parking lot the next morning and started yelling at him for touching her son. She said she looked for bruises on his arms.
My husband said he did have to pry the kids apart and marched one of them down to the office. My DH was so upset over the whole situation. He said he would never break up another fight again. Well last week another fight broke out and one of the teachers aides went and got my DH to stop it. Guess what? It was the same kid with the crazy Mom. Luckily no man-handling had to take place this time.

Gawd, why can't our society ever hit a happy medium? Decades of never believing a victim & now nobody ever believes the accused?

Can this pendulum ever get back to the middle? I'm so sorry this is happening in your family.

Just to make it clear, the child has not made the complaint, the mother has. The police are not interviewing the child at all.

Also there were no closed doors, brother and mother were around the whole time. Lesson took place in the lounge, which was open plan, to the kitchen where the mother was mostly. Brother was in a small room off the lounge watching TV, again with an open door. DH continued on teaching the brother after he taught the alleged victim.

My husband was a journalist with the boston globe and he coveredthe histaria over a day care center wher the mother, son were put in prison. He believed in their innocence. The prosocuters believed the children who were coached.

Society is definately changing.

My mother who is 76 ran a once week toddlers club singlehanded at her local church until last year. She closed it after she was asked to fill in form after form about her personal life, references and police checks. She'd be running the club for over 30 years without complaint

This was unpaid work, where mothers could bring their kids for a couple of hours and sit with other mothers and have a cup of tea and biscuit.

Personally, when I take my young son to places like the park, I purposely try not to speak with other children there, as you're worried about it being taken the wrong way by their parents.

Geordie

nelsonian, that is beyond ridiculous. Would a mother who witnessed an impropriety by your husband really let him teach HER OTHER CHILD? I sincerely hope that this matter is quickly put behind you.

There are a lot of scientific studies on how kids can be coached into making false accusations and even actually come to believe them. The same is true for adults, actually.

nelsonian, you need to be sure that there is a videotape of any interview with the child.

I hope you have an attorney who either specializes in this or is giving it the attention needed. If not, you need to become an expert.

False accusations of sexual abuse were practically the norm in bitter child custody cases in divorces in the 90's and there is quite a lot of information out there on this. After some serious travesties of justice, this problem has been well-studied. Please read up on this. There is an organization known as the "False Memory Syndrome Foundation" with an interesting website. Here is from their FAQ page, on small children with some references:

http://www.fmsfonline.org/fmsffaq.html#Youngsters

Perhaps they can help you.

Hello nelsonian, you have been in my thoughts since I first read your first post on this thread.

Good news I would think that the mother allowed your husband to give a music lesson to her son right after she claims your husband was involved with an indecent assault on her daughter.

But may I also say..hope you do not mind..I wouldn't put any more details here on Fodor's or on any public forum. A good friend who is a Fodorite and is quite familar with the legal system asked me to strongly suggest this to you as law enforcement and attornies will often search on the web for information regarding a case. My friend only has you and your husband best interest at heart nelsonian. Actually my friend said if she were in your shoes she would email Katie and strongly request that she removes this thread. Just passing on the thoughts in case you are interested. Best regards.

Nelsonian, it sounds as though the mother is a nutcase. I don't know where you live, although I would guess either Australia or the UK, but I hope if your husband is found not guilty of these charges that you have some recourse to go after the woman for damages to his health, reputation, and future earning power. To put it simply, I would bring a civil suit against her and take her to the cleaners.

nelsonian - I am so sorry this is happening. How horrible for you and your DH! I do think there is a definite problem with the mother....especially since the son is still taking lessons.

amp322 - I can see how music teachers are especially susceptible to this. My son (age 16-1/2) is taking trumpet lessons from a petite 30-ish woman. I have seen her work with my son on positioning (he's not used to playing in marching bands!) and such......and from an "outsider's view" I can see how it might be looked upon as inappropriate.

But I also know that it is the "right" thing for the teacher to be doing...just as it was "right" for the choreographers in the musicals I was in (many years and many pounds ago!) to come up and "move" me where I needed to be or how I needed to pose. It's their job!

I do hope all works out well for your DH!

It happens on a college level as well. My friend is a long-time physics professor at a well-known university. He's been there for many years, and just finished his doctorate there. He was out of work for about 2 years due to health problems, and had a kidney transplant (two, actually- the first kidney died).

Well, he was just getting back into teaching physics last year. At the end of the semester, two girls who weren't getting the grades they felt they should have accused him. Since he was just part time, the school decided not to investigate and just didn't renew his contract. Now he has no work (there are no other places in the area that a physics teacher can teach). He's got full disability, but is going insane not being able to do anything.

It sometimes seems that in this kind of situation, it's the most unreasonable (not to say nutty) people who come out ahead - at least temporarily, by being willing to cause unfounded-on-fact trouble.

This isn't exactly the same thing, but is sort of related in that it involves crazy accusations:

At a local' high school a few years ago, there was a real troublemaker kid who was always involved in fights, physical bullying, etc. One day one of his teachers (male) had just had enough of his disrespect in class and threw him out (not physically, but just banished him for the day). The kid's mother came to the principal's office and had a rather unhinged confrontation in front of the whole office. She kept ranting that her son was just picked on by the teachers at the school, and none of it was his fault, because "everyone else likes him. He never gets in any trouble! Even his probation officer thinks he's a good kid!"

It would have been hilarious if it wasn't so pathetic. (She didn't bother to explain how a kid who "never caused trouble" even HAD a probation officer.)

Regarding the question would a 7-year-old lie, I saw a very interesting documentary on TV some years ago. Maybe it was around the time of one of the big scandals that proved to be false.

Anyway, it was an experiment where a little girl about 5 or 6 years old was sent into the doctor's office for an 'examination'. The whole thing was videotaped. She sat on his examining table, fully clothed. He did the usual things -- looked in her ears, her eyes, her throat, listened to her heartbeat, etc. Then, as obviously instructed, he did something out of the norm -- he took a piece of ribbon and 'measured' her wrist with it. We, the viewers, saw the whole thing.

Anyway, then we saw the videotaped interview where the little girl was talking about the check-up with a woman. I can't remember who the woman was but I don't think it was the mom. The woman was casually chatting her up about the check-up, in a tone we'd all use with kids that age, and the little girl described what the doctor had done -- ears, eyes, mouth, heart, etc. She didn't mention the ribbon. But then she said, "...and he touched my vagina". No kidding, I almost fell off the couch. The interviewer asked her again and she said it again. She did not give the impression she was lying. I think she thought that really happened.

I still don't know what to make of it. I don't supposed any of you saw that documentary, did you?

nelsoian,

LoveItaly has a very good point.

If you are being prosecuted here in the U.S. I would not continue with this discussion as anything you say can be used against you in court.
These "conversations" are in the public domain. And even if you have PRIVATE phone messages, email, etc the courts can supoena them for the court case.

The depositions hearing was held today, case was dismissed due to insufficient evidence. We are just going to have a couple of wines to celebrate.

Thanks for your support/

Excellent, nelsonian! Have a glass or three on me - a nice Marlborough sauvignon blanc and/or pinot noir should hit the spot.

Oh nelsonian, CONGRATULATIONS!

I am so very glad I saw your wonderful news before I went to bed as you and your dear husband have been on my mind so much. I am sure you could cry with joy!

I know you are enjoying your wine!

Glad to hear it's all ok.

It's so hard now to get the balance right, isn't it. We need to protect children from genuine risk and harm, but we seem to be throwing the baby out with the bathwater (so to speak) in that we are now afraid of perfectly normal and USEFUL interaction between adults and children.

I saw a little kid crying alone in the shopping centre the other day. Instead of thinking 'oh poor kid, looks lost, I'll go and help' I actually thought 'oh shit, why me, what if I go and talk to the kid and someone thinks I'm trying to abduct him or something...'. My first thought was for myself not the kid, which is terrible. Of course, I stopped, and was relieved to see mum pop up so I didn't have to do anything. This would never have crossed my mind 10 years ago.

Glad that things turned out OK. Now the work is to move on. In the current climate about such things, I might reread the comments you received and help your husband put together some new practices that reduce the chances this will happen again. (No, I am not blaming the victim - just as if one is crossing the street and gets hit by a car, the driver is at fault, one can reduce the chances of getting hit by a car by how they cross the street).

For example, the tutors we used for our kids stopped using people's houses - too many potential dangers. While I realize music lessons are more difficult to relocate, in our school district several private music teachers have made arrangements with local school to teach there.

I used to take music lessons in the basement of a persons home for about 6 years. For five years and 11 months there were no issues. When I became a teenager, one week teacher started rubbing my shoulders in a creepy way - I did not tell anyone why, but suddenly became disinterested in continuing the lessons and quit.

Great news, nelsonian; what a relief for both you and your husband!

What wonderful news, Nelsonian! I'm so glad that this nightmare is over for your family.

I'm so very happy for your family, nelsonian. Sometimes good guys DO finish first!!

I knew it would turn out, although you never know til it's over!
Congrats and enjoy your glass of wine.

This is great news. Congratulations on surviving what must have been a terrible time, and may your husband go on to bring the joy of music into many more lives.

Author: nelsonian
Date: 09/30/2008, 02:00 am
The depositions hearing was held today, case was dismissed due to insufficient evidence. We are just going to have a couple of wines to celebrate.
Thanks for your support/



Wooo-hooo, chalk up one for the good guys!!
I'm sure your just glad to be done with this, but any chance of suing that mother?

What great news! I'm so happy for you both. You must feel as if the weight of the world has been lifted from your shoulders.

YAY!

Congratulations. Walk tall with your head high knowing he was in the right the whole time. He may feel some backlash but always remember that he was the one who was wronged. He was the victim in this case.

Great news, nelsonian! I'm so glad everything turned out well!

Great news!
What was the crazy mom's face?
I hope blue! I am wondering what was she trying to gain - free lessons?

Good news. My youngest son teaches, and is aware- there are other parent related issues too- that you just can't win. NOT really.

My daughter (doing head teacher in a teacher team for special needs pre-school right now) had a 4 year old that needed restraints in her special needs curriculum conditioning procedure -
and with aides etc. to enable a certain "circumstance" behavior and it required holding.

Now he is doing top of the bunch, and can sustain his movements to remaining in one spot for up to 8 minutes- where before he could not stay still or in one location without hitting others, a wall, or some object for more than 30 seconds.

She was worried about the touch that was required for this-and had witness and protection and parent had to sign some stuff or else watch behind 1 way glass etc.

The entire forms necessary for certain conditioning in development are also stimied by the limits to person to person contact/connection now. It's a shame that the pendulum has gone way, way too far to the other extreme now.

Well the case has made the front page of the local paper, and also one of the major New Zealand home page sites. It will remain on the internet indefinitely I suppose.
The story is reasonable I guess, the headline is
Parents secretly filmed music teacher, goes on to say how the charges were dismissed etc.

We were Skyping with our daughter tonight who is now living in Ohio, and she always says what's the news. Well tonight she said it and immediately said apart from Dad of course he is the news today. .

I am very happy for you, your husband and family, nelsonian. It's nice that the truth is sometimes victorious. Sorry for all the negative publicity for your family. You will find out who your true friends are.

Hooray, Nelsonian - what great news! I hope there won't be any negative repercussions for your husband.

Lee Ann

I am happy for you nelsonian, what horrid times you must have endured.

I had the opposite experience, I was abused by my music teacher but never said anything about it. So he got away scot free. But one against one, how do you prove anything.

I didn't want to mention my experience before I heard your good news as I thought it could have been taken the wrong way by you. Anyway I am very pleased for you and your husband. What a relief phew!!
Schnauzer

How wonderful to wake up and read some good news!
Good luck ahead.

Just to update this thread. The charges were thrown out at Depositions but the police applied to the High Court to get a decision before a HIgh Court Judge as to whether they could get the charges relaid, using the argument that the JP's had made an error in judgment.

Have had the result of this now, the Judge dropped one charge, but has given permission for the 2nd charge to go before a jury. This could be 6 months -a year away. Needless to say DH and I are still rather stressed about all of this.

If he was acquited of the charge once, how can you be tried for the same "crime" twice?

So sorry you and your DH are going thru this again. What a nightmare.

"Author: cheribob (cwisniewski7879@wowway.com)
Date: 09/21/2008, 09:23 am

Accusing someone of sexual assualt is the "Witch" cry of this era.

My Sister accused my Mother of sexually assualting her.

The first we knew of it was when my 17 year old sister did not come home from high school.

She had been taken into protective custody by the IL Dept of Child & Family Services. It tore our family apart. My step-father took this opportunity to divorce my Mom & marry his mistress.

It did not matter what my Mom said. Everything my Sister said was taken as fact. The resolution was my parents divorced & my Sister moved back home with her Dad.

Within 6 months she had left her Father's house & moved back in with Mom. The whole thing took less than two years.

If I had been my Mom I would never have had anything to do with her ever again!"

I know this thread is old, so I do apologize for that.

We had a similar situation. My (now) 17 year old stepdaughter had some serious problems, and she was stepping out of line. We had to install certain restrictions (can't spend the night out, crap like that). She decided it was too much to handle, so she ran away. She claimed that she was terrified of her father because he choked her until she almost lost consciousness and she was afraid for her safety at home. None of it true, of course. The state trooper dealing with the case told us that he, for one, did not automatically assume there's anything to the accusation because a lot of runaways make up stories to create sympathy, especially if they've been in trouble with the law before (my stepdaughter was on probation at the time). After it was all over, she decided to try and make it in the world by herself. Her father will not support her. He can't really forgive her for the accusation. The whole situation just got to a point where he had to step away.

My father was superintendent in a children's home for 30+ year. He also confirmed that many of the children would make false accusation simply as a cry for attention. Some of these kids came from really bad situations.

Just a sad story all around.

He wasn't acquited of the charge it was thrown out before it even got to Court. The police decided that a wrong decision was made and applied to have the charge relaid. If the deposition hearing had been in front of a judge and not 2 JP's and the judge had thrown it out then it would have stood. This is based on the British legal system.

nelsonian, What a nightmare for you and your family. I'm so sorry.

Oh nelsonian, sorry doesn't begin to describe my feelings dear one. But for lack of a better word, I am truly so sorry. Please, make sure both of you take good care of yourselves during this most trying of times.

Nelsonian
My husband (who is a criminal defense lawyer in the States) and I visited the Old Bailey and attended a number of court cases (as a member of the public). We were astonished how prejudiced the courts could be. I hope this is not the case. My best regards to you both.

nelsonian

What a nightmare.

I've been falsely accused of a crime and it is the worst thing.

The police believing you is good - I was in the opposite situation re the police.

There seems to be a lot of students thinking this is just an easy way to get out of class. Am I right in thinking the accuser wanted to give up music but parents wouldn't let him/her?

Teachers are in such a difficult position, the advice, as you arf probably aware, is not to touch a child, but if you are teaching a musical instrument, certain sports or even craft classes it is sometimes the best way to teach.

I teach Health and Social care in a college, the course attracts mainly teenage girls and when they get their results or get into uni they have a habit of hugging everyone, their friends, family and staff. Technically every one in the department could be accused of inappropriate behaviour.

My thoughts are with you both.

The police are not believing DH, they are the ones going ahead with the charges. They didn't agree with the charges being thrown out initially.

As mentioned earlier the alleged victim has never been interviewed and does not know anything about what is going on.

Good grief, Nelsonian - what a nightmare for you both!

No doubt you will have the best legal team you can find & hopefully this second lot of charges will also be dismissed.

Very best wishes
Bokhara