tfsull

My daughter is getting married the second week in November 2016. The wedding ceremony takes place at 2PM in a church followed by a reception at 6PM in a castle. What is the appropriate dress code for me as the mother of the bride subject to the restrictions of not wearing black at church and not having to change clothes between the ceremony and the reception?

Thank you!

Cathinjoetown

I would wear the same as I would wear as MOB to a formal day wedding in the States, something short, dressy and in a color that suits me. The weather most likely will be chilly and rainy unless you are very lucky so factor that in. I'm assuming the castle is a wedding venue and not the groom's ancestral home? If the latter, I'd consult the groom's family.

flanneruk

In all cases, consult the person responsible for your invitation.

There's no wedding dress code in the British Isles (where on earth did "don't wear black in church" come from? Unheard of here), and what's worn depends on decisions taken by the couple. In wedding venues (and castles are just as likely as the local Holiday Inn to be running several different weddings at the same time), it's common to see completely different codes in Suite 1 from those in Suite 2.

Any foreigner purporting to tell you how "the British" or "the Irish" dress for weddings is simply not to be trusted.

MissPrism

Flannerkins, I defer to your expertise on most things, but I doubt that your experiences include being the mother of the bride at a church wedding.

The bride's mum is one of the stars of the show. She sits at the front of the church and on the top table at the reception. She will also be in most of the photos.

Wear something smart and attractive that makes you look good and feel comfortable and confident.
I personally wouldn't wear black at a wedding, but if you did, it should be topped with a frivolous hat.

I've been to many weddings, formal and less formal, but I've never been to one where the bride's mum didn't wear a hat, even if some of the female guests didn't.

I've actually been to a wedding in Ireland in November, but as the groom's mum. It wasn't in a castle, but in a hotel with spectacular scenery. The photographer will almost certainly want to take photos outside with the castle as backdrop. Photographers take ages, so have a warm wrap or pashmina with you, so you don't freeze to death. You can whip it off when it's your turn to be slapped.

We got served mulled wine after the photos, and we needed it!

Have a look at http://www.johnlewis.com/browse/gift...bride/_/N-5pne

MissPrism

Snapped, not slapped, stupid autocomplete.
Mind you, you do sometimes read about spectacular fights at weddings ;-)

hetismij2

I've been to plenty of weddings were the MOB didn't wear a hat. If you don't like hats don't feel you have to wear one, or maybe choose a fascinator instead if you feel happier with something on your head.
Find a nice outfit that you feel beautiful in, and wear it. You could go long or choose a nice day length dress and coat, whatever you prefer, feel comfortable and happy in.
Ask your daughter if she has any preference for you wearing long or not.

Make sure your shoes are comfortable for a lot of standing!

Cathinjoetown

Some of those John Lewis dresses, nice, some look like they raided the deceased Queen Mother's closet.

hetismij2

Lol Cath! I notice too they don't do a mother of the groom range. I can only ever be that great non-entity at my children's weddings.

MissPrism

I've only been a groom's mum and the token mad aunt.

Seriously, I have a largish crop of nieces and nephews and have been to several weddings in Englahd, Scotland and Ireland.

Venues have varied between churches, Anglican, Presbytarian and Catholic. I've also been to weddings in stately homes. One had an impressive staircase for the bride to float down.

The latest was last year in a hotel with a marriage room. That was the least formal but both mums wore fascinators.

The OP must decide whether she accepts or rejects my opinion, of course.

Tony2phones

As to "Castle" that means nothing as a blanket word, Castle hotels range from something built next to where a castle once was to a Victorian manor house/ Hunting Lodge, to an genuine castle used as a wedding venue.

Be Smart, Be comfortable. Be yourself. (the Irish answer)