hi Sashie,

I think that a better bet would be to fly from Nice to somewhere closer to Kobarid. Trieste and Ljubijana are possibilities, but if there aren't direct flights, you could fly to Venice or Treviso and hire a car or get a train there.

otherwise, as you say, it would be the train from Nice to ....wherever.

I'm sorry about your loss and understand your desire to go and find out more about your family. but i'm curious about your saying you don't want to commit - unless you are planning to arrive unannounced, you'll have to tell them sometime.

Why not now when they could help with the planning?

Thanks for responding. No, I don't plan on going unannounced but there are still issues I need to work out regarding my father... and my sister.

All of my relatives are in Europe. My mother always kept in touch with them and I was always interested in hearing what was going on with them - my sister wasn't. My sister and I met all of our relatives when we were young and recently many have come here and stayed with my husband and I. She pretty much doesn't want anything to do with them. But I know if I tell her that I want to see them, she will get mad and say we should go together (wow, this is like therapy - writing this makes me feel better already). Our relationship is fragile and I don't know how to tell her I'm going without her. That is why I can't commit. Also I don't want to leave my father alone with my husband and I don't think my sister will help.

I wanted to take my mother back to see her sisters and brother one last time, but I waited too long

Now I'm thinking to go to Nice another time. Maybe I can go to Kobarid only. Good idea re Venice. I didn't think of that. It is direct and maybe I could take the train somewhere near Kobarid and I could be in and out in a few days.

Sashie, good idea not to complicate it too much.

perhaps you can tell your sister that you wanted to go alone to "suss it out" for her, and dad, possibly. [would he be able to go at some point?] I can't see how you are going to organise this without telling your Dad, or without leaving him with your father. Is there no-one in the slovenian end of the family who speaks enough english for you to discuss this with? some of them came to stay - is there one of them with whom you formed a special connection? even if you had to send them an e-mail in english, they could probably get it translated in to english more easily than you can get someone to translate for you into slovenian.

i don't know how close you can get with a direct flight, or where the most convenient main station will be but you can get from Venice to most anywhere. you could treat yourself to a day or two there on the way back to recover!

i hope you find some solutions to these knotty problems.

Hi Shasie

Sorry for your loss.

You can fly non stop from JFK to Venice on Delta. From Venice you would probably need to rent a car and drive to Kobarid, or perhaps there is a bus or train. If you go in the winter or early spring won't it still be snowy and cold in the mountains? Would it be better to postpone this trip to late Spring or Summer?

The fact that your sister was indifferent to your mother's family in the past does not necessarily mean that she feels the same way now that you mother has passed away. She too may have her regrets.

Is your father able to travel with you? If not, it appears that you will need your sister's cooperation. This seems to be a very personal journey for you, and a way to deal with your loss. Perhaps you can find a way to explain that to your sister, and that you want to do this by yourself, or that someone besides your husband needs to look after your father.

Maybe you could suggest a long weekend, or other activity, with your sister so she does not feel that you left her out of your plans.


Best of luck