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Venice: from-the-outside-in Tour

Years of research, bouts of disgust, a world of enchantment, and quite a bit of vaporetto-hopping have led to this tour offering, the most pleasurable and mind-expanding 7 days you will ever experience (note: anyone who has been to Venice before is ineligible for this tour):

DAY 1 - Arrive Marco Polo airport and bus to Lido di Jesolo; stay at sterile, modern hotel; immediately spend afternoon on beach; evening: best pizza you ever had.

DAY 2 - Beach. All day long. Great gelato three times in the course of the day. Evening: best pizza you have had since yesterday. You start to think this is the best vacation ever, but then:

DAY 3 - Long bus ride to Punto Sabbioni. ferry to Burano; lunch in Burano; get absolutely blown away by this incredible fairy-tale place; ferry to Murano; see some glass; dinner in Murano; ferry back to Lido di Jesolo for midnight pizza & gelato; stay up half the night with vivid, primordial impressions of the lagoon and the mystery of how these places might have come to be on these swathes of land in swampy water.

DAY 4 - Pack bags and take bus/ferry to Lido; check in at Hotel Riviera; stroll the bright, radiant streets of this quiet, happy resort; gelato (though not nearly as good as at Lido di Jesolo); spend a couple hours on the beach; then pizza (though not nearly as good as at Lido di Jesolo); hop on vaporetto to Arsenale; stroll the empty back streets while avoiding Strada Nova all the way to Fondamente Nove; get completely blown away by this gorgeous, miraculous place - - the empty enchantment of these back lanes; even find some decent pizza; take vaporetto back to Lido completely overwhelmed, completely stunned,

DAY 5 - Pack bags, hop on vaporetto, take it the north side around the island to Piazzale Roma; check in at nearby hotel, walk through Santa Croce & Dorsudoro to Accademia, completely ecstatic; take vaporetto way around past Giudecca and the cruise port to Piazzale Roma, and back to the hotel; stay up half the night in reverie with the wonders you have seen, the complete uniqueness of the place, the utter ubiquitous beauty.

DAY 6 - Finally take vaporetto down the Grand Canal with eyes big as saucers in the morning; pinch yourself as to whether this can really be real; discover new humanity-infused mystery-based religion; then, unfortunately, visit San Marco & Rialto and experience the outrageous tourist ant heap; break down and cry at the cheap desecration of it all; want to go home.

DAY 7 - Bus to Marco Polo for flight home.

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