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Trip to the Bernese Oberland. Help with stay!

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I'm planning a 10 day trip from the US to Switzerland and Italy with my spouse and a 3 year and 10 year old.

We'd land in Zurich or Geneva on the 4th of October and were planning on taking a train to Bern straight away so we could wake up there. We'd be buying a 4 day Swiss pass as well.

The 5th, 6th and 7th are dedicated to areas around Bern. We wanted to see the city, Grindelwald, Lauterbrunnen, Wengen, Murren, Montreux even (whichever is possible) and my family loves to hike. How should we go about planning those visits? The best family friendly hikes? The Eiger trail looked good to me. And is Bern a good central location to travel from to those places? or is it better to stay somewhere else and then hop on a shorter train ride? Any other must see spots? How is the weather like in early October?

Also, we're planning to go to Venice from Bern or Zermatt on the 8th. How can my Swiss pass be useful in this regard? I read that the swiss region is covered but I would have to pay the italian portion to Milan (and then onward to Venice)

Thank you!

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