Geez Adu, I think you've already eaten the treacle! Have a great trip.

“We will be staying two days in London, because we have been there many times before.”

Adu, so where do you stay in London? And will you revisit old haunts or check out something new?

Have a great trip…

We are staying at a new place for us called the Stylohotel near Regent's Park. And we are going to the British Museum becasue we have not been there in 30 years, the Tate Modern becasue we have never been, and Mrs. Adu wants to ride the Eye.

The old treacle should have worn off by now.

While riding the Underground we saw passengers reading the Evening Standard, a London tabloid, whose back page screamed, “What’s the best milk after Kate’s?” It was an ad for “follow on milk” and one can only assume that copywriter used hyperbole rather than personal experience. At least it was complimentary and confirmed that there must be a Royal groinacologist, as Archie Bunker would say, and probably a Royal Proctologist. But we all know royal proctologists.

After arriving in London, we made our way to the Tate Modern. It is quirky and proud of it. There was a few rooms dedicated to works that reflect dreams but there is nothing in the entire gallery I was tempted to steal, even though there were brand names such as Picasso, Matisse, and a few of the Dadaists. Often I want to steal the lesser knowns but not today. Installations were found everywhere. I find most installations befuddling as to why an artist would make those choices and why a museum or gallery accepts those choices. The gallery was filled school children, including many that spoke French. There was a Damien Hirst exhibit that required a13 GBP admission fee. I know he is or was a favorite Wall Street sharks before the Recession.

Mrs. Adu reserved a ticket for the London Eye at 8:30 PM. I am acrophobic, which means I would not go up in a ferris wheel where the pods are glass and you can see the Thames between your legs. We arrived early intentionally and for whatever reasons there was no wait. She loved the view of the City from on high. But as soon as she alighted from the ride, the lights that adorned the river bank became alive. Big Ben looked spectacular with its oversized black and white watch face against the dirty brown façade of Parliament and shone above the tint of green lights which provide highlights.

She had another view of “The Shard” the tallest building in Western Europe, according to those who decide such things. It is a glass structure with a jagged summit, hence the name. Coincidently we saw a documentary when we returned to the room on BEEB 7 ½. The upper floors will be apartments that will cost in the tens of millions for which the architects and engineers specially designed the floors so that the asses of wealth would not fell the slightest sway from the wind.

Today started the day at the British Museum. I love the smell of the spoils of war in the morning.. The entrance of the building is designed to impress and intimidate like a great cathedral. A few grand antiquities stand before you under a sunlit dome. The Rosetta Stone attracted everyone with a cellphone camera. It is a remarkable relic in what it stands for and what it is; a rather small rock that some how knew it would be a mirror to the past that would eminent courage for future thought.

We did see the Elgin Marbles, elegant and eroded with the heads of many of the figured missing but found scattered through Europe in other museums. And before we left we saw Lindow Man. He was found in a bog with a dent in his head made from an axe, pollen in his stomach, while the body freeze dried so it could be displayed. Until that moment he was about 2,000 years old. A little Folger’s in your cup. We spent three hours there and saw just a small portion of the collection.

We then visited the British Library. The building itself is light and airy with a large and welcoming plaza. It was odd that the woman at the information desk was unfamiliar with Lewis Carroll and Laurence Sterne. The Treasuries Room holds a number of extraordinary and evocative books, documents, and musical scores. Besides the Maga Carta, there is a original volume of O Rare Ben Jonsson, many Qu’rans, a Jainist manuscript, and the handwritten lyrics of Yesterday. Besides a Gutenberg Bible, there was also a printed document of indulgences with a space for your name.

Sadly the first two days of Treacle Down Effect have been an abysmal failure. It is combination of us choosing the wrong restaurants and the food at the restaurants we chose being awful. We stopped at one place for fish and chips. They were they fresh out. I was not sure whether they were out of the fish or the chips but Mrs. Adu had fish soup which fortunately needed a spoon rather than a pole and was filled with cheese. I ordered a leek tartlet. A small woman with a great deal of make-up and little clothing would have been better. The very thin, dry circle has all the charm of a rice cake and to make it appear modern, the little tart was placed atop a zig-zag of tart sauce and covered with some packaged grass. I know it was packaged because I saw her carry the packages across the fining area.

But the worst meal was at the Aberdeen Steak House. I am sure Londoners are shaking their collective heads in disbelief and if were present would be waving their arms wildly to go elsewhere. But whenever we passed, it was crowded and not cheap. The waiter no matter what anyone said would reply, “Wonderful, enjoy your meal.”
“Your mother is a crack ho and your father is a pedophile in a loony bin.”
“Wonderful, enjoy your meal.”

We ordered steaks that were once part of a cow that was fattened in the Orkneys. They were little thing pieces of beef that had some taste. The onion rings and the spinach sides that were extra were not bad. The check included a cover charge. There was no entertainment, except the fact the waiters were amused people were actually eating this high priced stuff. When I asked for an explanation, I was told it was to keep prices competitive with their imaginary competition. This implausible answer must have come directly corporate BS department, which must be fully manned. When asked if the menu contained such a warning, he showed it did appear twice in maybe six point type at the bottom of the pages. They took off the cover charge and so did we with the warning, DO NOT EAT AT THE ABERDEEN STEAL HOUSE.

Our hotel is the Stylohotel on Sussex Gardens. It is the usual claustrophobic London hotel room for a lot of money. How small? The TV could only hold two stations. How small? There is was only enough room for cold water. There was, of course, hot water and the staff was young, cordial, and helpful. One of the staff was a chunky fellow wearing a wife beater revealing plenty of ink. There is steel everywhere-the doors, the walls, the breakfast chairs with spikes at the top, the nightstand. The only thing that was not steel were the heavy sheets that covered the carpeting in the halls and left overnight to protect the rugs against the some work that was being done. The hotel was full with many Germans and other pale Europeans who fortunately were fully clothed.

The Express to Heathrow was 19 GBP per person. A value if you are by yourself, but expensive for more. In the past we just took the underground, which is considerably cheaper.

Take the buses whenever possible. You can get a view of city as the bus drivers navigate the traffic, as they seemingly crush bike riders, knock over pedestrians, and take off the doors of trucks.

We left from JFK and could see from the roadway, the Space Shuttle still sitting atop a 747, partially hidden in a hangar.

Tomorrow we leave to visit friends in York. This weekend is a Bank Holiday, this in the US is otherwise known as a bailout. We come bearing two gifts. One is oblong dish decorated with various NYC bridges, the other is maple syrup. The posters on Fodor’s helped us chose this, as they noted it was available in the UK, but it is expensive, making us appear ad generous.

To paraphrase a well known note, I would have written a shorter a pithier entry, if I had the time. I will not know when I will write next. We will be at the tender mercy of our kind friends for the next four days. I also apologize for any grammatical mistake.

"But the worst meal was at the Aberdeen Steak House."

OMG!!!! You didn't????

(Even 30 years ago when you last visited, they were crap . . . .)

Our hotel is the Stylohotel on Sussex Gardens. It is the usual claustrophobic London hotel room for a lot of money. How small? The TV could only hold two stations. How small? There is was only enough room for cold water. There was, of course, hot water and the staff was young, cordial, and helpful. One of the staff was a chunky fellow wearing a wife beater revealing plenty of ink>>

what, pray, is a wife-beater?

what has the size of the telly got to do with the no of stations you could get?

what has the size of the room got to do with whether you could get hot water?

are you related to Joseph?

BTW, it's a shame you didn't find an Argentinian steak house. We ate at one in Delft , and it was excellent. and they didn't mention the Falklands. not once!

hope york was fun!

I've always wondered who ate in those. Now I know.

>>what, pray, is a wife-beater? <<

Miss, miss, I know this one, miss....

It's what we would know as a vest (as distinct from a T-shirt). Men who wear one as outerwear are popularly thought to be not the most affectionate of husbands.

annhig: A wife beater is a sleeveless vest mostly worn by cretins. http://www.blogcadre.com/images/stella/wife_beater_2005_10_29_14_29_28

Patrick beat me to it (BTW - they don't usually have writing on them . . .)

Bookmarking to have a laugh in the morning, though it hurts me to say, as a curmudgeon myself, that another curmudgeon is funnier.

I was enjoying your TR before you left, and am enjoying it even more now that you are there, 'asses of wealth' and all, lol ! (If that was a typo on your part, it was a clever one )

Looking forward to what surprises York holds for you and the Mrs. (or Missus).

M

aha - it's a vest. pure and simple. well, simple anyway.

any answers for my other queries?

Adu we did try to get you bring ice-wine but you wanted to bring the dried out sap of some old tree. Keep warm it's 8C during the day and going to 2C tonight in Yorkshire.

A different style of trip report - and I'm very much enjoying it. Hope you're having lots of fun with your friends.

I'll be sure to skip Aberdeen Steak House. Thanks.

The London Eye sounds very nice. I can't wait to "ride" it

Thank you for your kind comments.

We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus.

Details to follow.

Annhig, in answer to your other two questions, I think Adu was being funny with hyberbole or metaphor or some such figure of speech.

Adu, I am enjoying your report, please continue whenever possible!

irish - I think I got that. i was being ironic too!

>>>We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus.
Details to follow.<<<

Photos not necessary! ;^)

"..We are in that part of the world where those James Herriot books were written like Up The Cow's Uterus. "

lol ! Put your hand up a cow's bum and everyone's a vet !

I am not on the UK forum very often but since we will be ther on Monday am reading up. Your comment about taking the bus made me smile. We loved the bus in Paris for that same reason. They have to have nerves of steel.
As for the wife beaters, we actually see people board planes with those on. YUK, who wants to sit next to someone with their hairy armpits showing. We get this one guy that is so hairy and wears one everytime he flys from my airport. Men with tats love to wear them to show off the artwork. It is like a very thin low cut tank top.

Did you not check out the olympic venues?

Adu, thanks for the update. Particularly enjoyed your description of the British Museum (you lasted longer there that I did . Missed the British Museum but hope to visit someday.

Enjoy York. Will you be visiting any stately homes in the area?

Very fun report Adu! Hope you and the Mrs. have better culinary experiences in York.

I have to say, on my last trip to London, Norwich and Exeter, in 2009, the food was outstanding everywhere we went. I took my mom and we joked about how we were eating our way around England.

Thank you all for you encouragment. It is like throwing chum to a shark.

Frezzing our collective arses off. We visited some seaside resorts and thought of the Beatles song When I'm 64 and wondered which of these padding the streets screamed for the Beatles.

Full report in a day or two.

"Thank you all for you encouragment. It is like throwing chum to a shark."

This made me laugh out loud!
Looking forward to more...

Aduchamp1:

We are staying at a new place for us The Stylohotel hotel. Other than the location why did you choose it?

Any change of sharing where you purchased the oblong dish decorated with NYC bridges?

Enjoy your visit with your friends and stay warm.

Sandy

Frezzing our collective arses off. We visited some seaside resorts and thought of the Beatles song When I'm 64 and wondered which of these padding the streets screamed for the Beatles.>>

Adu - this time last year we were in yorkshire for a long weekend and [apart from the day of the Royal Wedding] the weather was glorious. sorry you've got the opposite - but you are perhaps experiencing more typical weather, and therefore enjoying more typical pursuits.

Annhig, sorry I missed your irony before. Sometimes I get it, sometimes one has to slap me on the head with a board. Pardon.

Our host had a problem with a clogged pipe. He poured a teaspoon of Marmite into the drain and it fixed it immediately.

Ann
Whatever our expierences are, that is what they are. They weather is but one factor. This fine May morning was -1 when we awoke, but warmed up quickly.
______
We chose Stylohotel for its location and price. It sounded quirky and different, so we chose it.

We purchased the tray at Fish's Eddy in NYC on Broadway and about 26th street. Fish's Eddy is the name of small town in the Catskill Mountains of NY State.

Annhig, sorry I missed your irony before. Sometimes I get it, sometimes one has to slap me on the head with a board. Pardon.>>

memo to self - be funnier!

Adu - an admirable attitude. perhaps the stiff upper lip is catching, or you were already imbued with sufficient phlegm to withstand even a british summer.

Ann

We have skin that has been thickened by all sorts of weather. (I cannot listen to people's travel stories that are filled with all their problems but without a sense of adventure and fun. We have had to return home from trips because of deaths in the family and have been in and around crime and terrorism. There are things much worse than rain and bad meal.)

We have skin that has been thickened by all sorts of weather. >>

sort of hobbits then?

<<There are things much worse than rain and bad meal>>

indeed there are, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't want a bit of sunshine and a good meal occasionally.

Just found this report and I'm flabbergasted that you went to an Aberdeen Steak House???

You redeemed yourself a little by questioning the phony cover charge and successfully negotiating the removal.

I do hope you didn't leave a tip!

Treacle Part III

(Sassy Cat, our hosts asked the same question, but he was just the waiter and not the ones who sets the rules.)

It has been days since I last wrote and we are currently now in sunny Edinburgh, the last place you will find a Sunglass Hut. We are in a rental apartment on Spittal Street. We just left York where the river Ouse is pronounced ooze. I guess tomorrow we visit a little town called Flemm. Yes, I know that Spittal has something to do with a hospital.

We visited Castle Howard in Yorkshire. I have decided to rename it Castle Howie because my cousin Howie and the building are both basically useless and many people stare at them. I have been inspired to write a new series for Masterpiece Theatre, “Downtown Abbie.” It is about a wealthy Orthodox Jew who needs a huge place to show off his every day and Passover dishes.

The grounds of Castle Howie are spectacular. They are manicured and pedicured as far as the eye can see. There are magnificent gardens and what the locals call follies. These are structures that have no intrinsic value and are jarring in this most verdant patch of the world. They take the form of pyramids, monuments without attributions, and obelisks, all from the whimsy of the architect. In this modern world where the owners of such estates no longer lead a Jane Austen life without the hope of marriage, some of the land is leased for farming, while the remainder is used as an excuse to charge an exorbitant amount to pad about.

The building itself is crammed with paintings and pieces of sculpture. The current owners live in a segregated wing. They do not have titles, even though their forbearers did. It has been explained to many times something about the ninth Duke of Carlyle was Anne Bolyen’s third uncle who was twice removed from the Earl of Colostome. This explains why they all have extraordinarily thin lips and hemophilia but not why the lost their title.

The rising entrance is impressive with recreations of 18th century figures just below a bell shaped dome. It is where Brideshead Resvisted was filmed. The guides were slightly miffed at the 2008 version.

The day before we visited Whitby, Scarborough, and Robin Hood’s Bay along the Yorkshire coast. These are seaside resorts of different standings. Whitby is a combination of real history tied to Captain Cook, honky-tonk rides and tourist shops, and an out of the way store that smokes its own kippers. Our hosts were not Jewish and did not get the young kipper references. The kippers were placed in the boot of the car and some how forgotten until the smell rose above that of the roadway. Yes, I now use boot, lift, fortnight, pitch, quid, etc and will do so until I get home. Here it is to be understand, at home it is pretentious.

The best meal we have had so far was in Whitby away from the tourisitng crowds in a restaurant called The White Horse and Griffin, which we immediately started calling The Merv and Griffin. The greaseless beer batter crust was crisp and tasty while the cod done to a turn. We also had proper mushy peas. I will never understand the attraction of tortured veggies and assume they are but another comfort food. Nonetheless the meal was truly worthwhile.

We were told that the rock candy in Whitby was not only outstanding but the name Whitby was inscribed in the candy itself. Impressive indeed. We went into one of the more famous rock candy emporiums but I did not see any. Rock candy in the US, looks like quartz and it is jagged and translucent, hence the name rock candy. I asked where the rock candy might be and the woman looked at me as if I was both stupid and blind. It was like entering a pet store and asking which ones were the dogs. It seems in the UK, rock candy could be of any color and is often in the shape of rods. The name was written into the candy. Of course, I dropped mine on the ground and shattered Whitby.

The sea and the cliffs are majestic and magnetic to many, but Whitby was overrun by tourists, Robin Hood’s Bay has limited charm and Scarborough on the day of our visit had tumultuous tides.

We will never conquer the pronunciation of these Yorkshire towns. My rule of thumb is whatever it the name looks like make up an absurd alternative and that is often correct. He did take a hike and ran into a group whom I thought were the Lumbering Lesbians of Sleights. Yes Sleights it is the name of a town.

Our hosts John and Margaret were more than kind and generous. We had only met them once by accident in France but have kept in touch for years. John was overwhelmed to learn that the York City football team must play twice at Wembley in the next 8 days, in order to win something or other. The last night we went to see an amateur production of Annie in which the grand daughter of one their oldest friends was leading a hard knock life. It could have been worse. But we could thank John and Margaret for their hospitality.

To lose your title is like losing your shadow. As you have seen we seldom have shadows in Yorkshire. Glad you enjoyed the trip

funny, funny, funny. You should be hired by Fodors to add a touch of humor to their travel books.

rfbk....by now, don't you know better than to encourage Adu?
This thread will go to the 300-mark, easy.

Hey Tower, you know you liked my young kipper joke.

Okay Andrea (Adu is probably napping now)..I actually guffawed 17 times as I skipped through the report, chuckled 6 times, giggled once and laughed aloud three times. The bestof the bunch...The Merv and the Griffin, the Earl of Colostome and the Lumbering Lesbians of Sleights....maybe you're right rfbk...just maybe.

the "young kipper" joke..damn, I just got it and put on my yarmulke out of respect! Let's get "Other" into the fray..it'll go to 600!

It is not about Turkey, Other does not care. And Andrea is working on her art, she is above such pettifoggery.

Hey Tower, you know you liked my young kipper joke.>>

i bet they were rolling in the aisles in Whitby!

where are you off to next, Adu?

Have they been warned?

I will be in Whitby all week at the Brilliant!Club.

We are in Edinburgh until Monday and then to Dublin for four days before heading home.

Today we went to Edinburgh Castle, which highlights the military history of the Scots by themslves and with the English. There was not one tourist group that they had not killed at one time or another.

We got this medal for killing the Germans, and the one for the French, and the Japanese, and that one the Americans.

It was a perfect day. It was in the 40's, windy, with unrelenting rain. We would have gone to the National Museum of Scotland but it was closed due to a wildcat strike.

It was a perfect day. It was in the 40's, windy, with unrelenting rain. We would have gone to the National Museum of Scotland but it was closed due to a wildcat strike.>>

lucky you. sounds like a typical summer's day in Scotland.

Being doubly cursed, i.e., both American and not Jewish, I confess to not getting the "young kipper" joke, either. Care to explain?

Yom Kippur, nuke.

it took me a while too!

Oooooooo--K.

Exactly Ann. Yom Kippor is the day of atonement, when Jews fast and spend the entire day in temple. It is one of the most impotant religious days of the year.

Has Dublin been alerted about your arrival next week?

Has Dublin been alerted about your arrival next week?

No, I did not tell my American friend about it who is a member of every Irish Catholic organization ever created and those about to be created and gets stopped by English immigration as the palest terrorist on their list. Besides I am on the No Drinking List.

Not a wildcat strike - a worker's action. Even made the national news in the U.S.

I'm surprised at your comment on Robin Hood's Bay - did you park up, admire the view and then take the very steep walk down to the sea? All those little ginnels, snickets and winding lanes to explore? And the old houses clinging to the ravine as it leads down to the beach slipway? The small museum with its history of smuggling and shipwrecks?
RHB is normally considered one of the most picturesque and interesting places to visit on the North Yorkshire coast!
Rock Candy is known here just as 'rock' or a 'stick of rock' and you can get it at any seaside resort with the name running through it. It's not famous in Whitby any more than any other resort, however fudge is and there are some very good fudge shops in the town.
Whitby jet is famous too.
http://www.yorkshirecoastfossils.co.uk/what%20is%20whitby%20jet.htm

Meant to add - I really like the odd buildings dotted around the Castle Howard estate, and many have great architectural value.
The Pyramid is a Nicholas Hawksmoor building. Another 'folly' DOES have a use as it's the family Mausoleum (a Vanburgh and Hawksmoor design). It is still used as the family burial place.

I'm surprised at your comment on Robin Hood's Bay - did you park up, admire the view and then take the very steep walk down to the sea.

Yes, that is exactly what we did. Maybe we were a little tired by then. We did walk through some of the ginnels as well. There were some spectacular panoramas.

The mausoleum was a bit of intrusion on the countryside. It could be seen as some beacon from many different angles.

some of these follies, but not all, were used as "make work" during recessions. A sort of QE de nos jours.

Yes, we have a 'Druid's Temple' in the Dales close to where I live, built 200 years ago like a mini Stonehenge. Made as you say to generate work for the local population during a recession.
However, the Castle Howard ones are statement pieces of their times - built with no expensive spared and designed by THE leading architects of the day.
And as for being an intrusion on the countryside - they were placed on hills exactly so they could be seen by locals and visitors as a 'look at us, we've arrived and we're not going anywhere' message. No point in placing them where they wouldn't be seen!

However, the Castle Howard ones are statement pieces of their times - built with no expensive spared and designed by THE leading architects of the day.

That is called excess and is the stuff of revolutuons. Of course, only THE leading architect will do, as if there is such a thing. Didn't THE leading architect totally raze the previous structure and build the present one north and south so, that little sunlight would permeate the rooms?

I seem to recall they razed an entire village (Henderskelfe??)when they built the house, as the village spoilt the view!

Yes, I'm also a little surprised you didn't like Robin Hood's Bay. Did you skip Flamborough Head?

Weather does sound typical for Edinburgh. That castle would look menacing and dour in brilliant sunlight. Just looked at a friend's photos of a recent trip to Edinburgh and there were more than 50 shades of grey (no nothing to do with that book but he did get engaged).

Optimist n. Someone who brings sunglasses to Edinburgh.

The Scots are incredibly nice people even though all the men including the university professors look like football hooligans and the women like to show their legs when it isn't raining.

Details to follow including a visit to the Falkirk Wheel, our best meal so far was a mistake, and Mrs Adu is trying all the different alochol available to her and I take advantage of her-I steal the remote.

Optimist n. Someone who brings sunglasses to Edinburgh.>>

my DH swears that every time i wear my sunglasses the sun goes in.

I think it's something to do with living in Cornwall, which is not dissimilar from Edinburgh when it comes to the amount of rain they get.

Treacle Part Whatever

The wind is howling as I write prepare these somnambulistic observations. The rain is pounding sideways. It is not an accident that your grandmother put Scotchguard on her sofa.

We are staying in Edinburgh very near the Castle, in a neighborhood that must have literate perverts. There are three strip joints nearby and as many bookstores. It is nice live among those with diverse interests.

The Castle itself is dedicated to the military history of Scotland and there was not one group of tourists with whom the Scots alone or in conjunction with the British have fought some sort of war.

The curators at the National Museum of Scotland have a fine sense of design and space. The original section finished in 1866 soars with light and white painted railings and arches, emitting a salubrious aura like in a very old hospital. This is contrasted with often dimly lit exhibitions just on the other side of the wall. A new section built in 1998 has passage ways and turns to break up long corridors of exhibits. The selection of relics and pieces is highly eclectic and but regard to industry Scotscentric. Among the more interesting things is Dolly the first cloned sheep. She looks well as she revolves on a pedestal with what I think is fake hay at her real fake cloven hooves. The millennium clock is on display but that only rings every thousand years.

The inexpensive food is better in Edinburgh than in London. We have had fresh and tasty soups at pubs and restaurants. Mrs. Adu ordered haggis which was pretty good as long as you do not think about what you are eating. We had our best meal by accident. We wanted to go to Howie’s as recommended in Frommer’s for its local food, but when the menu came it was much more expensive and French Mediterranean. Both were on Victoria Street and both boasted blue facades. In fact we were eating in Maison Blue. I had that traditional Lothian dish Lamb tagine. Mrs. Adu had a perfectly prepared and locally killed venison, which did not taste gamey in the least. For dessert we shared a Bailey Cream Brulee. Today we are off to the real Howie’s otherwise it will give Mrs. Adu fuel for years as to my knowledge of restaurants and sense of direction as if she needed some..

And yes anyone who remembers one of my previous parts of the trip report, it is the name of my useless cousin. The food was pretty good at Howie’s. I had pork that was little tough that was accompanied by a ceramic cup of substance that bounced back when touched with a fork. It was their gelatinous version of apple sauce. Mrs. Adu’s salmon was atop a pile of pasta. As is the wont in Edinburgh, service was pleasant and helpful.

As a bread cuckoo, I am always looking to taste what is available. We had the perfect scone at of all places the café at the Falkirk wheel. Otherwise the bread is just so-so.
The local Sainsbury, a grocery chain, sells what they call packaged Scottish pancakes, which are these little spongy discs that are surprisingly satisfying. Since we are in an apartment we bought some proper butter at ¼ of the cost in the US. A nice cholesterol laden diversion.

We stopped in a Waterstone’s and I asked the clerk if she could recommend a Scottish writer that is well-regarded and contemporary. I told her while British writers are easily accessible in the US, Scottish writers are not. She said that is also true in Scotland and that if you were in 30’s or older, that little of the Scottish writers, besides Bobby Burns and Robert Louis Stevenson, were taught in the schools and you had to wait until university to read the later and serious writers. She recommended and I bought So I Am Glad by A.L. Kennedy which is supposed to be witty and dark and How Late It Was James Kelman.

Princes Street is nothing more than the world’s longest strip mall. George Street has the better stores. This morning we went to Leith. There you go into a mall in order to gain entrance to the retired Her Majesty’s Yacht Britannia. Go past the underwear sale, make a left at the food court, buy a ticket and enter the world of the Royals.

The Falkirk Wheel is probably the most wondrous, if not, the most purposeless invention I have seen. It is used on the smallest of canals in lieu of a lock system. But the boats it transforms must be recreational and not commercial. It moves a boat skyward in a gondola like a Ferris wheel until it slowly reaches it destination 80 feet in the air. There it meets another section of the canal where a watertight seal is somehow formed and the boat continues on its journey.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Falkirk_Wheel


Helpful Edinburgh Travel Hints

1. If this is summer, go in winter and save the money.
2. Bring anti-fungal cream for the outside of your shoes.
3. Be sure to use a laminated map.
4. Umbrellas are useless. Bring waterproof things including light gloves.
5. Bring you kilts, this is probably the only place you can wear them without your bagpipes.
6. Who the hell knows what the people are saying, and there is no Scottish-English translation book, but it is fookin freezin.
7. If you have arthritis or have trouble with hills and stairs, send someone you do not like in your stead.
8. If you are a young single woman and you go on a date with a young Scottish man, be hopeful he will wear his cleanest t-shirt.

And that is why Fodor’s will never ask me to write for them.

Tomorrow we have an early flight to Dublin on Ryanair. There is little chance of a terrorist because not even a suicide killer would risk his life on Ryan.

For my first job I worked in Scotland on the West coast. The HR director showed me round and talked about the business. Being a young man I grinned and nodded at everything he said but I admit that one thing he did say was "you may not be able to understand what the people were saying", this would have been useful if I had understood it.

Fortunatly the people on the shop floor did not have broad accents and this town and my English town had been trading (in Newfoundland) for centuries so I understood them but the HR director (from the East coast) was beyond me.

adu - try Ian Rankin - contemporary writer of crime stories set in Edinburgh - if you want to understand what people have been saying [but not if you want to sleep at nights].

my abiding memory of a family holiday in Edinburgh when i was 12 is pain, as it turned out that whilst toiling up and down all those hills, i had a verruca.

enjoy Dublin.

Adieu! Why do I bother sending you email after email of suggestions for your trips...you never follow even one. Now lets see what happens in Oyerland. Say hello to Molly Malone...merely a statue...and kvell at the Book of Kvells.

When you see a sign that says "Bienvenido..Tijuana"..boy, have you taken the wrong turn. Listen to Andrea.

That's Tiajuana, of course..can't win 'em all.

...still arguing over the correct spelling here in California..so take yer pick.

We ate twice on Victoria Street which is used for filming for the Kate Atkinson Case Histories Jackson Brodie mysteries.

Tower-The last time you were in Ireland was during the potato famine. And in Turkey we looked for a restaurant you recommended that closed during the Ottoman Empire.

We will kvell at the Book of Kells and kvetch at the ketches in the Irish Sea.

adieu...ain't nothing quite like the good old days.
Met Mel Brooks in a toga at one of the ruins in Turkey. Even funny speaking that weird Latin lingo. Love, MCLXII

I also was going to suggest Ian Rankin as a Scottish author, and you can easily access his books here in the states. Best if read in order of publication.

Your Edinburgh Travel Tips were awesome!

Thank you all.

Tower

We were watching the Beeb the other night and Jackie Mason is doing his show in London. They did a 10 minute piece on him. We don't understand him, how will the Brits?

funny, whenever I've seen Jackie mason on the telly [and he's very popular here] I've had no difficulty understanding him at all!

ann...still giggle at Benny Hill's shenaningans on reruns...Mason is much more cerebral as is Mel Brooks...when you feel like going low brow, Benny is the slap-stick answer.

Hey Adu...you in Dublin now?

Yes, we just returned from seeing Trinity College. And they did not have the bobble-head doll of Beckett, I was looking for.

There are certain things that make you feel like a child:

First, when you pay for something with money that you just exchanged, you hold it out like like a child and hope the merchant takes the right amount, so you can bring the rest back to Mommy. You really feel like an idiot reading the coins, flipping it over and ove to see how much it is worth.

Two, crossing the street in the UK. In Dublin there is a ditinct sound that goes off when the light turns green. This is to alert blind people and tourists. In NYC jaywalking is an Olympic sport and I am pernenial favorite. But here, I am like a little child looking every which way including up for traffic.

tower - i never got benny hill when i was a child and I still don't. sorry!

and I still don't

Ann, then you must be watching the old reruns. Aha!

At 62, I am the last to any party. We stopped for a bite and there were two men as old as Dublin itself playing Irish tunes. They were wonderful and played songs that everyone knew but us. One was the Irish Ship The Rover and the other was Tommy Sands's Your Daughters and Sons.

Today we went to buy the sheet music. One music store had The Irish Ship but sent us to the Sinn Fein Shop for the other. Since there are CCTV all over the place, I am sure I will labeled a terrorist and will be frisked in perpetuity by the TSA now and they did not carry any sheet music.

I stll do not like Irish dancing. The dancers seem to stricken by a rare disease, they are paralyzed from the waist up.

Ann, then you must be watching the old reruns. Aha!>>

got me there, Tower!

loves ya, anyhow, Ann (now strike up the Benny Hill theme song...ta da...)
stu

Just a sobering thought, Ann...the busty lovelies Benny lustfully chased all over town are probably all grandmothers now!

As noted a few weeks ago, I brought my tattered copy of "Dubliners" to Dublin. We have been so busy doing the tourist thing that I have not had a chance to re-read it, but here is the irony.

For the last few years the Dublin City Council declares in April that everyone should read the same written work as a community event and this year was "Dubliners." I was surpised when I entered the bookshops and found it large quantities.

This would be an interesting community project for many places.

Yes, we just returned from seeing Trinity College. And they did not have the bobble-head doll of Beckett, I was looking for.

Sorry about that Adu...but next time you're in Paris perhaps you can purchase the cute Marie Antoinetts bobble-headless doll.

Adieu Adu, Stu

Incorrect spelling typo...Antoinette, of course.

Great idea. Stu. I like that which means no one else will.

i assume we're talking Samuel, as opposed to Thomas à ?

Sammy as he was known to his friends.

Ann..this is fast becoming a literary GTG between the three of us....can we come to Cornwall (one of my favorites) for the meeting?

stu

I still have about 4 GBP left.

Ann..this is fast becoming a literary GTG between the three of us....can we come to Cornwall (one of my favorites) for the meeting?>>

yes, and let's invite benny too.

Adu - the drink is on you!

We are leaving tomorrow morning from home. So I will have pay for my own drink and toast myself.

at any rate..it was fun jousting with you all...somehow, the humor on this Forum has gone south in recent months.

There are few people who want to play.

Treacle Down Part Last

Dublin is a city of contradictions, at least on the surface. It is now hip and necessary to hate Bono. I guess they think he cares more now about Spiderman, fancy glasses, and Africa than Sunday, Bloody, Sunday. The Edge does look like a finger puppet with that hat. And we only saw three guys with that type of cap and two were begging for money.

There is a referendum on May 31 as to whether Ireland should accept the austerity measures. Almost every block has a banner that screams “Yes” and if you walk four or five paces, another that exhorts the voter to “No.” We did not see a banner for “Maybe” and the news said, according to the polls, “yes” was ahead.

Led by a recent graduate, we went on a tour of Trinity College. He was a history major, so we over-tipped and wished him well. They have gone from an enrollment in the 1970’s of about 4,000 to about 16,000 today. I could not find a bobble head doll of Oscar Wilde at the gift shop. The Trinity library can inspire. They stack the books not by author, title, or subject matter but by size. It is an anal retentive’s dream and a scholar’s nightmare. They also display the oldest harp in Ireland which is directly across from the oldest bottle of Guinness in Ireland.

We went to a play called Greener. Andrea liked it better than I did. I will not bore you with the details since it should never make to the States. The audience looked like they came from New Jersey and Connecticut for a Wednesday matinee. The theater sold popcorn and beer and at the interval (intermission) usherettes came around with boxes with straps around their necks like they do at the ball games selling ice cream. They fans did not pass the money and drinks along the row like at the park nor did the young female vendors yell, “Beer here.”

Onto the Irish Writers Museum. It is mixed lot since they have little money. We passed a rare book dealer a few blocks away who had a better selection in the window. But it was wonderful to celebrate the Irish tradition of writers with some rare volumes in glass cases. Probably Woody Allen and James Joyce are the only people who could be recognized just by their glasses.

We stopped at a pub in the very touristy Temple Bar area where two pickers, as old Dublin itself, played Irish songs. (They did not hate Bono as they sang their version of a U2 song, which they introduced as a tune written by admirers of theirs.) I could not be any later to party for I was taken by Irish music as performed by these ancient pickers and they way they sang their songs especially, The Irish Rover and Tommy Sands’s Your Daughters and Your Sons. The next day we searched for the sheet music and immediately bought The Irish Rover, but Your Daughters and Sons was not readily available and we were sent to the Sinn Fein shop. The Sinn Fein Shop did not have it and with all the surveillance cameras, I am sure I will tagged as an Irish extremist in the future and with my musical ability be put on both The No Fly List and The No Play List.

Our hotel was The Grand Canal Hotel, a modern facility, an exception for us, that was clean and attended to by a most pleasant staff. It is not near the City Centre but situated near what was to be a contemporary and exemplary business district. Besides a huge Google complex and a few others, many office buildings lay fallow and chained closed. In the other direction the more traditional offices hung signs to indicate vacancies existed. There are drunks and people who should be institutionalized on the streets. Things can seem a bit desperate.

Most of the food was fine if not expensive and great liberties are taken with the names and ingredients. Andrea had a focaccia panino called La Siciliana that had melted emmentaler. Bagels are found everywhere but just because it is round, does not make it a bagel. After the play there were few selections open for a bite and settled on some Thai place. We ordered Pad Thai and we refused to spectaculate as what type of pad and tie were used. During the stay we had roast beef, corned beef, Guinness stew, fish and chips, and a Dublin burger. By law they must cook the sh-t out of it of a burger.

The people in Dublin were extraordinarily nice and seemed to be up for a yap at any time.

We bought more stuff for ourselves on this trip than usual, books mainly. I guess that is the danger of visiting English speaking countries. More than once, we visited the well-regarded bookstore Hodges Figgis. The staff truly loved books and knew literature. For this trip, I brought to read a 40 year old tattered copy of Dubliners. As it turns out the Dublin City Council for the past few years, chooses a book that their citizens should, discuss, or argue about every April. This year it was Dubliners. There were various editions scattered about every book store including a new release for the occasion. Choosing a book for the benefit of a municipality seems like a splendid idea worth duplicating.

I did not read my copy while in Dublin because my feet hurt.
____________________________________
We had to be at the airport three hours before take-off. There we went through many procedures including “pre-clearance” which was American immigration in Dublin and nothing at JFK. We did this once at the Vancouver, BC airport.

I omitted important information and events.

Our flight was delayed 3 ½ minutes and I sat next to Bob, an envelope salesman, who told the funniest stories and jokes for the entire 7 hours of the flight, which arrived 1 minute early due to the malstream.

When I learned that London used pounds, I thought that their pennies were called ounces. Boy was I wrong. LOL. The queen’s picture is on everything, what an egotistical b----h.

We ate at many yummy places, but I don’t remember the names. Did you know they do not make Yorkshire pudding in Yorkshire but right there in the kitchen and now some places just defrost them. I wanted to try Spotted Dick, but could not ask the waiter for it. LOL. We stayed at the Richard III, where children are discouraged.

We also visited many amazing and awesome places. We went to the British Museum and saw many things that weren’t really British like some mummies and something called The Rosetta Stone. But some how they wound up in London. I had a Diet Coke at the Café.

We then went to Edinburgh. People kept on correcting me, but it sounded like Ed-da-burro, that made no sense, so I kept it calling Edinburgh like it is next door to Pittsburgh. Have you ever heard of Pitts-a-burro? We went to all the McDonald’s there they are Scotch and had tartan sauce on our fish. Boy they did not like being called Scotch either. They said it is either Scots or Scottish. They seem to be very sensitive people. We stayed at the What’s Under Your Kilts Hotel.

Then we went to Dublin, where they make a big deal about books, history, and beer. Well I really liked the beer but it was hard to get a Miller, so I drank what they had. We enjoyed the Leprechaun Museum. It was just like the Louver in Paris but smaller.

Our bowel movements were just fine and the hand towels were changed every day at the Green Alligator Hotel and ate at the restaurant downstairs called The Long Necked Geese where we ate burgers.

So pip pip, cheerio, mate, bangers and mash and all that. If you have any questions do not forgot to ask because we spent two whole days in London and the other places too.

I have to beg forgiveness.
I thoroughlly missed this episode in the life of one of my fictional heroes.
Imaginary trips have always intrigued me, and I thought that i could smell them from miles and miles away including those purportedly made or written by a gentleman who calls himself Tower, who also plagiarizes photographs from the National Geographic.

i shall hopefully find the original of the handwritten pamphlet of the narrative and the lovely painstakingly drawn sketches by the suffering heroine, when i visit new York October 9-12 to lay a wreath at the shrine of the champ.

Just as an afterthought, buxom blonds are now on Mars together with Benny Hill and Monty Python. even League of Gentlemen and Little Britain have gone the way of the Goon Show lost in Black Books with Dylan Moran although all were absolutely fabulous at one time or other, as Norman wisely said once.

Yet Sammy lives just as the day his photograph was taken for the Coe book, scaring me for all of my life, keeping me wondering if the end is a game as james p. carse wrote wistfully considering infinity but without having read or understood Beckett.

Thanks Adu. I had only gone as far North as York, and as far West as Bristol, and i guess i will leave it at that.

Yes, National Geogrpahic already rejected my idea for a report on the UK. And they rejected Tower's photographs because the women were dressed.

I have marked my calender for your visit Oct 9-12. And plan on taking you and your wife to the worst chain restaurants America has to offer. Except many are available now worldwide.

Thanks, Adu, for a great trip report--especially the summary at the end. My laugh for the day.

Thanks Irishface. The Irish were truly gracious and a great people (as were the Scots.)

I am so glad I bookmarked this thread so I could follow along. Brightened my mornings!

Thanks Adu. I had only gone as far North as York, and as far West as Bristol, and i guess i will leave it at that.>>

shame, OC - you'd love our fish!

Adu - i have this wonderful image of you causing offence and spreading gloom and despondency wherever you go - keep it up!

Thanks Nuke and Ann.

Yes Ann, it is true, but I do it with a smile on my face. A few friends suggested that Mrs. Adu and I should have a reality show when we travel. As long as I do not have breast implants like those "Wives of" shows it is Ok with me.

First batch of photos

https://picasaweb.google.com/113523841271811111555/UKIrelandPartI?authkey=Gv1sRgCNCZ4OWqj6viLA

As long as I do not have breast implants like those "Wives of" shows it is Ok with me.>>

nice image, thanks.

I'm frightened to look at the photos now.

Adu, the pictures and the captions mostly match (congratulations for this), except for the first one. You probably did not know that some British still use bed pans and discard the contents in the streets. Old habits die hard in the old country.

Thanks for sharing pictures. I hope that "first batch" implies that there will be more!

There will be more pictures.

Do not be afraid Ann.

My captions and photos are like my socks, sometimes they match.

mmm - i liked the 16 week blow-dry.

BTW, what was so photogenic about the italian road mender?

Ann

It is a oombination of the type of work, the position of his body, and his clothes. And please note that it was taken in Dublin, so I hope I did not mislead you.

And if you ever come to NYC, let me know, it is my hometown, I know all the restaurants that are not part of a chain.

ann..don't fall into that trap (known as the "Adu pigeon drop" of grifter's fame). Go along with the Adus and you'll end up paying for every morsel at any of their favorites chow places.
I'm already sucked into meeting with them in July. They succesfully pulled "I lost my wallet" when visiting with host Celebi in Turkey last year.

stu

Wait, wait Ann.

We met and took Stu to lunch last December in LA. He pretends he is an old man who needs help. Quite convincing. Luckily he did not eat much.

I had my pocket picked on the tram in Instanbul. I did not accuse either Stu or Other of the crime. I could not, it took skill.

Make that Istanbul. I still had my wallet lifted or as Ann says nicked.

now then boys, play nicely.

i can assure you adu, that should i have the pleasure of visiting NYC, i will follow your restaurant recommendations to the letter.

but i will ignore your security advice!

Only ignore my security advice in Turkey, I'm good in NYC.

Stu needs help, Ann, please do not think otherwise.

stu thanks for the warning for when we visit New York.

adu actually did promise to take us to Mobile/Montgomery grits house restaurant and promised he will pay if he still has his wallet on him when he gets there and if we can find the restaurant.

Adu:

You were right the first time "Instant Bull", perfectly describing your modus operandi. Dear Ann, who lives a tranquil life in a remote Cornish village, is a perfect pigeon for you. I pray she is on the alert when in Noo Yawk.

Come to L.A., Ann, to experience the best America has to offer. I'll take you on a private tour of the environs and inside Hollywood, which I conducted for Elderhostel groups for many years.

stu

I can't wait for Other to come to NYC, so we can take him to Turkish restaurants.

_____
Come to L.A., Ann, to experience the best America has to offer. I'll take you on a private tour of the environs and inside Hollywood, which I conducted for Elderhostel groups for many years.

So that means Ann will be ready in about 40 years for your tour. (Stu thinks Carole Lombard is still alive.)

Adu wrote: "And if you ever come to NYC, let me know, it is my hometown, I know all the restaurants that are not part of a chain."

Can you give us links?

There are over 25,000 restaurants in NYC. And while the chains are making headway, besides the burger chains, the constitute just small percentage of places. In fact in our neighborhood there is an anti-chain sentiment. A Starbucks opened up and you would have thought they started a half-way house for child molesters.

By coincidence I posted a list of the better food values in NYC on the NY board today. Not the so called best places, but those where you get a good meal for a very reasonable price.

>>>(Stu thinks Carole Lombard is still alive.)<<<

She's NOT????? Next, you'll tell me that Gable is gone, too! You're the bearer of bad tidings!

No, Gable is still alive.

Whew! Rhett's alive! Folks at Tara will be happy to hear that!

Rhett now runs a chain restaurant called Tara, somewhere in Cornwall, i think, where all the former folk of the mansion work in chains.

Loved the report, wanted to see the pictures but my computer blocked them. Why were you posting porn?

Rhett now runs a chain restaurant called Tara, somewhere in Cornwall, i think, where all the former folk of the mansion work in chains.>>

strangely I've not found it yet, but I'll keep looking.

There is a reason it was called Tara why so many African-Americans have would be considered Irish names.

_____

Virginia, It was not porn when I posted it but who knows now. They were on Picassa. For some reason others have seen it and have not screamed. I have another batch coming soon and I will double check the settings. I am, however and remain, a comouter ignoramus.

Enjoyed your report Adu. I laughed and laughed when I read your young kipper and Merv and Griifin jokes.

Your back and forth banter with tower and annhig only added enjoyment to the story.

Welcome home.

Ann, OC and Adu..let's quit while we're somewhat ahead! Fodors keeps "very keen guillotine" for people like us.

Ann, OC and Adu..with that nice comment from Robin4, we ougthta quit while we're ahead. Fodors keeps a "keen guillotine" for mavericks like us.

Thanks for your kind words, Robin, but it's dangerous to encourage the likes of us! The thread is about to run off the spool!

forgive the double post...my error

Thank you Robin. Please ignore Stu, he never recieved a compiment before.

Adu:

I don't know who set the blocking parameters onmy laptop -- it certainly wasn't I. Tried another computer. I will not be reporting you to the vice squad...yet.

Thanks for a wonderfully audacious report, aduchamp! And thanks to your cow rioters Tower and Ann for adding to the fun! I actually wrote cowriters but spellcheck thought differently.

Ann, you have to visit me too when you cross the pond to see Tower and Aduchamp!

so many invitations! I should be able to free-load my way round the entire continent at this rate.

moolyn - I shall call myself "annhig - cow rioter" from now on.

Virgina

Try this one:

https://picasaweb.google.com/113523841271811111555/UKIrelandPartI

Thank you Moolyn.

Ann can stay with you and I will feed her.

Good report Adu. You have some interesting friends.

Good report Adu. You have some interesting friends

You should see the ones who don't even know Fodor's exists.

"Aduchamp1 on May 25, 12 at 2:57pm
There is a reason it was called Tara why so many African-Americans have would be considered Irish names."

When our son did a high school project researching the Civil War and the soldiers with our surname, every soldier was black.

The Irish are a friendly bunch

Indeed the Irish are a friendly bunch.

Also the smart pioneers would follow the Scots-Irish into unknown territories because of their toughness. If the Scots-Irish could not overcome a problem, then chances were neither could they.

Aduchamp, I saw an Austin Powers bobble head at a yard sale this morning and thought of you.

There are Scots-Irish on my family tree. They came first to New England and then north to Nova Scotia. The brother of one stayed behind to sign your Declaration of Independence.

Alys, those would be the black Irish!

My legacy is complete. I associated with bobble head dolls and yard sales.

Adu - thanks for a humorous report and some smiles tonight.

I also very much enjoyed Edinburgh and got lucky not to have rain... But I did spend 12 rainy days in Ireland once... my husband made me leave 2 days early - he couldn't take it anymore!

On my visit to the Castle, the tour guide found out I was a nurse. He took me aside on a "special" private tour wherein he explained how the Scots were involved in inventing a lot of medical innovations such as the use of anesthesia as well as the Glasgow Coma Scale and Penicillin... I actually did not realize all this although duh! on the GCS!!

In fact, the Scots are quite the inventors all around!

We also found them to be a friendly and fun bunch...

Glad you had a good trip and welcome back to this loony bin.

Gruezi

You are welcome. The Scots are very proud of their scientific discoveries and attitudes. Last time I used the Glasgow Coma scale I gained three pounds.

gruezi - penicillin saved my Fathers life he had Osteomyelitis as a child and spent over a year in hospital

http://www.medicinenet.com/osteomyelitis/article.htm#what

Penicillin was in its infancy and had an effect on him.
He gave permission and his medical records are used through out the UK in teaching hospitals

Second and probably last batch of phtotos.

https://picasaweb.google.com/113523841271811111555/UKIrelandPart202

no more photos? Wah!

There are more, but they are not very good.

But thank you for the thought.

Your pictures are wonderful and the captions really make them! Speaking of captions, you have "Castle Howard two" etc. but no "Castle Howard One" Is that just to see if we were paying attention?

I enjoyed all of them, especially Castle Howards and my absolute favorite was the water fountain in symmetry with the shrubbery. Would make a good postcard for their stand. Thanks for sharing, though I am sorry that there will be no more.

It was Castle Howard Two. The background was not symmetrical and that made the fountain stand out even more. Loved the little tractor chugging through to the right of fountain.

Thanks. I hope Castle Howard One was in the first batch.

I looked back at batch one and the last one was untitled. It looks as if it could be Castle Howard.

You might also enjoy the 44 Scotland Road series, set in Edinburgh, by Alexander McCall Smith. He now lives in Edinburgh but was born in Zimbabwe and is most famous for The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series.

Thanks for the reading suggestion.

I also highly recommend Alexander McCall Smith's Isabel Dalhousie series, also set in Edinburgh.

aka the Sunday Philosophy Club series.

I was going to recommend AMS to Adu as well, but he likes to read some pretty heavy stuff!... so I refrained. But, I also loved the books and actually they are what inspired my trip to Edinburgh and I loved wandering the streets and finding the various shops mentioned in the stories.

I like well-crafted mysteries such as those written by Elmore Leonard where the characters are the focus rather than the events themselves. I also like Kinky Friedman but that is because I like Kinky not because he is a great writer. I did see AMS's Number 1 Detective stories turned into a series on HBO and they were absolutely delightful.

i want to go to Botswana for the same reason!

Oh Adu, I would beg Fodors to let you write for them !
Thank you for this. I needed it.

I still have the cow that is a milk pitcher that I bought in Fishes Eddie a hundred years ago..

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