Traveling with my Husband - different interests
Dec 30th, 2015, 03:23 PM
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Traveling with my Husband - different interests
When I first met my husband he knew that I had travelled to many countries and had interest in seeing more of the world. He said he also had the travel bug. But now that we're married its hard to agree on a travel location because we have different interests.
I want to go back to Europe and see South America and experience the culture, food, country and etc. and he wants to travel to locations where it's cheap for him to drink on the beach.
In the last 4 years we have been to kata noi Phuket, Thailand 3 times (mainly for weddings) and Bali once and as much as I do love it there, I want to see more.
I don't want to go on holidays without him, we do enjoy being together away. But How do I interest him in seeing more? I want to go back to Europe (mainly Paris) but I need ideas on what could be of interest to him there that aren't culturally aimed.
I want to go back to Europe and see South America and experience the culture, food, country and etc. and he wants to travel to locations where it's cheap for him to drink on the beach.
In the last 4 years we have been to kata noi Phuket, Thailand 3 times (mainly for weddings) and Bali once and as much as I do love it there, I want to see more.
I don't want to go on holidays without him, we do enjoy being together away. But How do I interest him in seeing more? I want to go back to Europe (mainly Paris) but I need ideas on what could be of interest to him there that aren't culturally aimed.
Dec 30th, 2015, 03:46 PM
#2
<what could be of interest to him there that aren't culturally aimed.>
What are his usual interests? Any European city has their various sporting events, music concerts, beer and wine festivals, etc.
What are his usual interests? Any European city has their various sporting events, music concerts, beer and wine festivals, etc.
Dec 30th, 2015, 04:01 PM
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Will he compromise at least as much that if he gets to spend half the vacation doing what he wants, that you get to spend the other half doing what you want?
I would suggest Paris + Belgium if he is seriously interested in beer. If you go at the peak of summer, then he might be able to find a beach warm enough in Belgium to enjoy, but otherwise Belgium is mainly about being indoors.
Munich + Venice/Verona comes to mind.
Barcelona + San Sebastian (or Paris + San Sebastian)
If he'll be miserable unless it 24/7 low cost beach+beer, Greece is cheap, Portugal is cheap, much of coastal Spain is cheap, but be careful what you pick because there are zillions of tourists looking for the exact same thing as your husband, and if you don't want to be in a tacky scrum of cheap everything and nothing but foreign tourists, do some careful research (for Portugal and Greece too).
Low cost airlines make it possible to hop between two locations. High speed trains help too. Hope you have enough days to travel to make dividing up the days so both of you win possible.
I would suggest Paris + Belgium if he is seriously interested in beer. If you go at the peak of summer, then he might be able to find a beach warm enough in Belgium to enjoy, but otherwise Belgium is mainly about being indoors.
Munich + Venice/Verona comes to mind.
Barcelona + San Sebastian (or Paris + San Sebastian)
If he'll be miserable unless it 24/7 low cost beach+beer, Greece is cheap, Portugal is cheap, much of coastal Spain is cheap, but be careful what you pick because there are zillions of tourists looking for the exact same thing as your husband, and if you don't want to be in a tacky scrum of cheap everything and nothing but foreign tourists, do some careful research (for Portugal and Greece too).
Low cost airlines make it possible to hop between two locations. High speed trains help too. Hope you have enough days to travel to make dividing up the days so both of you win possible.
Dec 30th, 2015, 04:06 PM
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my husband is a historian of sorts and being a 24 year Navy vet his loves military history the most so Europe is nirvana to him. I can only take so much so we split up and meet back later in the day. I got him to go to Musée Marmottan one day and the next we went to Hôtel National des Invalides. He hates shopping so do that on my own time. We both like exploring cemeteries. We both love cars so enjoy seeing the BMW museum in Munich and beer unites us totally.
I go on girl trips though. Nothing like bonding with females on a trip. He take motorcycle trips so we are ok with not doing everything together. A balance.
I go on girl trips though. Nothing like bonding with females on a trip. He take motorcycle trips so we are ok with not doing everything together. A balance.
Dec 30th, 2015, 04:09 PM
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Dec 30th, 2015, 04:24 PM
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It sounds like a complicated proposition for you both to get what you want on a single trip, given the divergent interests. One of you will be bored anywhere. I suggest, unless you can resign yourself to drinking on a cheap beach, find a friend to travel with or go on your own. I have some experience with a similar situation and we alternated trips, someone always home to care for the cat.
Dec 30th, 2015, 05:12 PM
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Thank you for everyone's replies. I'm going to have to do some more thinking on compromising....
Suze:
Honestly his usual interests are drinking and tattoos. When we go to Thailand if he does do something cultural it's usually cause the whole group is doing it and he has no choice. But I don't have anyone else to go/come to Europe with us and he doesn't like the idea of a group tour.
Sandralist:
I think I could get him to compromise but I still need to think of something in Paris to interest him, otherwise he will be moody while we're there. And I don't think he'd be ok with us doing separate things in a different country.
Suze:
Honestly his usual interests are drinking and tattoos. When we go to Thailand if he does do something cultural it's usually cause the whole group is doing it and he has no choice. But I don't have anyone else to go/come to Europe with us and he doesn't like the idea of a group tour.
Sandralist:
I think I could get him to compromise but I still need to think of something in Paris to interest him, otherwise he will be moody while we're there. And I don't think he'd be ok with us doing separate things in a different country.
Dec 30th, 2015, 05:23 PM
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Dec 30th, 2015, 05:25 PM
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If you go in the summer there is a "beach" along the Seine - look up Paris plage. Can't he drink wine instead of beer?
Why would he not be OK with you doing separate things? Sounds like you might need a marriage counsellor rather than travel advice.
Why would he not be OK with you doing separate things? Sounds like you might need a marriage counsellor rather than travel advice.
Dec 30th, 2015, 05:31 PM
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Thursdaysd: it's more of a safety thing and he doesn't want something to happen to me.... But thanks
And flpab:
Thank you so much! That is the type of stuff I think could work! If there is a bar surrounded by shops he'd be ok, but I couldn't leave him at a bar and go away to do something. He would worry and his mother would kill him
And flpab:
Thank you so much! That is the type of stuff I think could work! If there is a bar surrounded by shops he'd be ok, but I couldn't leave him at a bar and go away to do something. He would worry and his mother would kill him
Dec 30th, 2015, 06:08 PM
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If he could compromise and skip the beach, you could consider trips to the UK, Amsterdam, Belgium , Germany or the Czech Republic. Plenty of beer there, and you could sign up for a guided sightseeing tour for the day so he would not worry about your being on your own. Or he could sit in a museum bar/restaurant while you tour the exhibits. its not likely that there are any safety concerns if you are in the same building.
Perhaps a river cruise.. he could stay on board if he wanted to and you could take the shore excursions.. they are often guided so you would not be alone if that is his concern.
If you think you would travel on your own, and going completely solo would be an issue with your husband, consider going with an all female guided tour. you would be with a group, and tour members may also be married, just not traveling with a spouse, due to any number of reasons.
Perhaps a river cruise.. he could stay on board if he wanted to and you could take the shore excursions.. they are often guided so you would not be alone if that is his concern.
If you think you would travel on your own, and going completely solo would be an issue with your husband, consider going with an all female guided tour. you would be with a group, and tour members may also be married, just not traveling with a spouse, due to any number of reasons.
Dec 30th, 2015, 07:10 PM
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Make friends with another couple who would like to travel, but also have different interests? Two of you could go off exploring while the other two relaxed at the beach or bar.
Research specific places for him to sit while you explore. In Dubrovnik, the Buza Bar, practically hangs onto the rocks overlooking the sea, right along the city walls. It has been called the bar with the most beautiful view in the world.
Look for famous bars like the Buza in other places. There are great pubs in Ireland and England. I can't remember the name off hand, but in Cambridge, England, there is a bar that was frequented by young military people during WW2, They started smoking and wrote their names on the ceiling with the smoke. The owner was kind of sentimental and kept the smoked on names. They are now preserved under glass. So, you could have a bit of history and your DH could drink. He could stay there hanging out while you tour Cambridge.
Even though you might not get an in depth cultural experience, consider a cruise. If you bought the drink package, he could really relax on sea days, then get off for some local place while you tour on port days. Choose the right cruise and it really could work. Lots of cruises stop at very interesting places and the ports or port towns have lots of restaurants, bars, beaches, etc. right there. A lot of the Greek and Caribbean Islands are like that. Stops like Rhodes, Mykonos, Corfu, Dubrovnik, etc. would work well. Most Caribbean islands would work, bars and beaches at every stop, excursions for you.
Actually, I went to Dubrovnik and the Buza Bar on a cruise. Another Fodorite who was ill at the time had been there, so I went and drank a toast to him. You two could walk the wall for about an hour and end at the bar. By that time, your DH should feel comfortable enough with the tiny city for you to go off on your own awhile.
Does your DH enjoy activities that are fun, not necessarily cultural or touring?
Cappadocia Turkey, for example, is a fantastic place to go hot air ballooning. Take a Gullet cruise on the Turquoise Coast. Helicopter flights in Caribbean islands like St Lucia or St Kitts are amazing. What about places where he could learn to sail or dive? Just a start.
Good luck
Research specific places for him to sit while you explore. In Dubrovnik, the Buza Bar, practically hangs onto the rocks overlooking the sea, right along the city walls. It has been called the bar with the most beautiful view in the world.
Look for famous bars like the Buza in other places. There are great pubs in Ireland and England. I can't remember the name off hand, but in Cambridge, England, there is a bar that was frequented by young military people during WW2, They started smoking and wrote their names on the ceiling with the smoke. The owner was kind of sentimental and kept the smoked on names. They are now preserved under glass. So, you could have a bit of history and your DH could drink. He could stay there hanging out while you tour Cambridge.
Even though you might not get an in depth cultural experience, consider a cruise. If you bought the drink package, he could really relax on sea days, then get off for some local place while you tour on port days. Choose the right cruise and it really could work. Lots of cruises stop at very interesting places and the ports or port towns have lots of restaurants, bars, beaches, etc. right there. A lot of the Greek and Caribbean Islands are like that. Stops like Rhodes, Mykonos, Corfu, Dubrovnik, etc. would work well. Most Caribbean islands would work, bars and beaches at every stop, excursions for you.
Actually, I went to Dubrovnik and the Buza Bar on a cruise. Another Fodorite who was ill at the time had been there, so I went and drank a toast to him. You two could walk the wall for about an hour and end at the bar. By that time, your DH should feel comfortable enough with the tiny city for you to go off on your own awhile.
Does your DH enjoy activities that are fun, not necessarily cultural or touring?
Cappadocia Turkey, for example, is a fantastic place to go hot air ballooning. Take a Gullet cruise on the Turquoise Coast. Helicopter flights in Caribbean islands like St Lucia or St Kitts are amazing. What about places where he could learn to sail or dive? Just a start.
Good luck
Dec 30th, 2015, 07:48 PM
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My husband and I generally enjoy the same things, but we usually try to go our own ways for a day, or even a few hours during a day.
You mentioned Paris and on two of our last trips to Paris we scheduled our trip for when the Paris auto show was going on (they have it every two years in October, alternating with Germany). I have no interest in this, but each time my husband spent all day at the auto show -- this is a huge show with multiple buildings. He also has gone to the Invalides military museum and the National Maritime Museum -- which again he found fascinating and I have little interest in.
In most cities I'm sure there are similar sights that appeal more to men than women.
It's good to get a little break from being together 24/7. We go our separate ways for the day and meet up for a nice dinner.
You mentioned Paris and on two of our last trips to Paris we scheduled our trip for when the Paris auto show was going on (they have it every two years in October, alternating with Germany). I have no interest in this, but each time my husband spent all day at the auto show -- this is a huge show with multiple buildings. He also has gone to the Invalides military museum and the National Maritime Museum -- which again he found fascinating and I have little interest in.
In most cities I'm sure there are similar sights that appeal more to men than women.
It's good to get a little break from being together 24/7. We go our separate ways for the day and meet up for a nice dinner.
Dec 30th, 2015, 07:52 PM
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I'm with thursdaysd -- just go on your own and let him do whatever he wants, whether that means staying at home or coming along and finding things that he enjoys.
I find solo travel an extraordinary self-indulgence, and I actually feel safer alone than with anyone else, because I'm actually paying attention to my surroundings rather than paying attention to another person.
Oh, and if you go and have a great time, and he doesn't like it, well, maybe then he'll find a way to join you.
I find solo travel an extraordinary self-indulgence, and I actually feel safer alone than with anyone else, because I'm actually paying attention to my surroundings rather than paying attention to another person.
Oh, and if you go and have a great time, and he doesn't like it, well, maybe then he'll find a way to join you.
Dec 30th, 2015, 09:16 PM
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Ok first off,,i think there is a bigger issue here, but i am sure you know that and do not want to discuss it on a travel forum.
So i will make what i hope is a constructive suggestion.
South of France or Spain.
He hangs at beach,,,you can sightsee a bit on your own. If you and he feel its " unsafe" for you to at least visit a site ir two during the day without him, then frankly i see no solution at all for you too to enjoy a holiday together unless YOU do all the compromising and just drink and hang at beach with him.
You life , your choices.
And yes, i am one of those married women who does solo trips and still has a great happy marriage...we love our trips together , and our trips apart.
Good luck , i do hope you find a compromise, that means HE has to " give" a bit too, and sulking is for babies not partners.
So i will make what i hope is a constructive suggestion.
South of France or Spain.
He hangs at beach,,,you can sightsee a bit on your own. If you and he feel its " unsafe" for you to at least visit a site ir two during the day without him, then frankly i see no solution at all for you too to enjoy a holiday together unless YOU do all the compromising and just drink and hang at beach with him.
You life , your choices.
And yes, i am one of those married women who does solo trips and still has a great happy marriage...we love our trips together , and our trips apart.
Good luck , i do hope you find a compromise, that means HE has to " give" a bit too, and sulking is for babies not partners.
