The Scruffman in Europe

I am so glad "Scruffy" made it to Europe. I am looking forward to the next installment as I have a feeling there will be many interesting adventures ahead. Thanks for keeping us posted!

Can't wait for the next installment.

I'm following along avidly.

Okay, here we go. Seatbelts fastened.

Bookmarking to recall my own scruffy youth.

Looking forward to more...

Cant wait to read all about what he gets up to.

I wish I had done that!

How fun!

artsnletters - I just spent the last two hours reading your other two threads and bringing myself up-to-date on the Adventures of Scruffman. I hadn't planned on spending my Sunday morning this way, but your thread title caught my eye, and it was a delightful read, and I got hooked. I find myself wanting to know the Scruffman's next move, so please keep us posted. I'm sure he's going to have a great time. He sure has a lot of positive energy coming his way from the folks here at Fodors.

One question - Did Scruffman ever get all his shots (malaria, etc) taken care of before he departed on his journey?

Robyn

After all the kerfuffle about getting into England do tell us briefly what his experience of London was. Did he get to his concert?

Did he have any trouble getting through Customs?

Considering some of the weird advice and suggestions that I read, a whole hell of a lot of people would feel vindicated if they learned that he got a 'normal' haircut and bought a suit before getting on the plane.

But somehow, I think that isn't how it happened.

The Scruffman gets shpongled in England

The Scruffman landed in London on the 28th of October, wearing his full hippie regalia. Mom had provisioned him before departure with a spate of instructions and a sheaf of supporting documentation so as not to be turned back at passport control. He was to be ready, indeed eager, to show off his onward ticket to Copenhagen, his bank statement, his credit cards, his visa for India, his itinerary (produced by Mom) noting his European agenda, his plans to visit a friend in Italy, his need to be out of Turkey by the end of January to comply with Schengen regulations. He was to be clear that he was leaving in a week. He must not mention working, busking, volunteering, or any form whatsoever of productive activity. He was to state that his purpose was being a tourist and attending a concert. He was not to say he was couchsurfing, but to say he was staying in a hostel. If asked which one, he was to display a (Mom-provided) print-out of London hostels and say, “I thought I’d call around when I get into town. It’s October, how difficult can it be to find a hostel in October?”

Thus fortified, he made it through passport control successfully. His entire report: “They asked me lots of questions but thanks to you I pretty much had all the right answers.”

He had not been successful in lining up a couch for his first two nights, so he washed up on the shores of The Green Man hostel, which he reported was fine because there were a couple guys in the bar who wanted to keep buying him drinks. A couple days later he hooked up with his couchsurfing host for the duration of his stay in London, Alen. Alen is Swiss, and (as evidenced by the photo on his couchsurfing page), he has the sort of dreadlocks to which I am sure Greg aspires.

The purpose of the visit to London in the first place revolved around the concert of a group named Shpongle on Friday the 30th. If you have heard of them, you’re far ahead of me. Wikipedia describes their music as “psychedelic downtempo” or “Psybient,” and if you know what that is, you’re even farther ahead of me. Anyway, this is a duo, one half of which is a 30-something guy who plays synthesizers, and the other half of which is a 70-something guy who plays the flute. Because the senior half of the duo isn’t such a spring chicken, this concert was the kick-off of what is anticipated to be their last tour. I don’t know how Greg came to know about them, but he thinks enough of them to have bought the ticket many months ago and timed his whole trip around the concert.

And as it turned out, his host Alen and several of his friends are also big Shpongle fans and had tickets for the same concert. So he ended up going to the concert with a group. The photos he posted of the set are pretty trippy, and apparently the concert met all expectations. Through a "comical display of dance flirtation" he ended up meeting a cute Swedish girl who offered her couch if he makes it to Sweden - "probably a terrible idea" was his reaction to this, but hey, what's the point of being young if you can't take a pretty girl up on an invitation?

They attended a massive all-night Shpongle after-party, after which they all went home to crash for most of the next couple days. According to Greg, hanging with Alen and his crowd is non-stop hilarity, and he did very little sightseeing because they were running the streets having a wild and crazy time.

On Tuesday, November 3, Greg parted company with his now bosom-buddy Alen and headed to Stansted to take his easyJet flight to Denmark. And there we will pick up when I have the rest of that story.

Robyn, yes, he did get his shots and is stocked with malaria pills.

kerouac, I think you are a person who will completely understand when I say that Greg is a guy for whom it is very important to live true to himself - his dreadlocked, scruffy-bearded, thrift-store-clothed self. There's a rare honesty in that, don't you think?

Artnsletter, your threads about your son are a riot! And he sounds like a fun and great guy. And smart too, he listened to you regarding how to get enterance into England.

I have been reading this from the beginning and am so glad that you are still updating! Greg and West seem like great guys What a fantastic opportunity for them! I have a student who wants to do a similar thing and I thought it was great. Please keep writing whenver you get an update

Yes, artsnletters, I completely understand, even though I finally reached the later stage in life when it can sometimes be fun to "disguise" yourself as someone you are not. However, since dreadlocks do not grow overnight, it is a major life change whenever somebody decides that the dreadlocks days are over! May that day still be far off for Greg.

It's interesting that they did indeed stop him for lots of questions. Our concern that this would happen, for whatever reason, was well-placed, and your preparation in response appears to have been key to his success.

I would have been worried about the guys buying him drinks, but luckily you didn't know about it at the time, and clearly the drink-buyers had no bad intentions. I guess that will be a common theme - you'll be happier to hear about the adventures after the fact than during!

Loving this continuing trip report of the Scruffman's adventures. Sounds like he is having the time of his life.

artsnletters, I am loving these threads and your sense of humor. And I, too, am glad that neither of you felt the need to have The Scruffman change his appearance (but also glad that he listened to you about immigration!).

Hey there Artsnletters,

I read thru the other threads as they were occurring and I get a big kick out of all that went on to get to this point. I am bookmarking here because I cannot miss what happens to your scruffster as he floats along.

Glad to have found the next instalment! Sounds like the UK prep paid off.

This is a great thread . . . reminding one of past lives, but content to be in the current one.

Marching with the rest of Scruffy groopies, chanting: we want more! we want more!

Thumbs up for The Scruffman. Glad he made it across the pond!

I'm so glad you're updating us on his trip! It sounds like he's already had a wonderful time. And I wonder if he WILL decide to go to Sweden to meet up with the pretty girl?

Arts,

I myself just got back from London last night and tried to post to your earlier US thread from there (yes, I tried to follow as I travelled over the past 3 weeks !) but the WiFi connection was weak and the posting didn't take from my netbook. I was in England from Nov 1-9 and feel a strange sense of connection to have been in the same country and vicinity as the travelling scruffman for those few days!
Glad to hear that he is doing well and looking forward to your updates of his adventures.

M.

I too had a scruffman, well scruffboy, in Europe a few years ago. At 17 he flew into Frankfurt, hopped on a train and called home (fortunately his cell phone worked)asking for the address of his destination in France as he had left his carefully planned (by Mom) and detailed itinerary at home!
Oh yeah, the airline lost his luggage as well.

I stumbled across the US part of the story today and now I am hooked and cannot wait to hear the European stories to come!

Wondering if Greg has any idea how many of us on Fodors are following his trip? Hopefully, even if after he returns, he will read all of this.

lowcountry, I'm scared to tell him. I'm not sure whether he will appreciate my writing up his adventures for mass consumption, as he may eventually write them up himself.

You'll all buy his book when it comes out, right?

For those who are waiting, I have most of another chunk of the story, but the Scruffman tends to fall out of touch when he's busy having fun, and then is in touch again when he's ready to make another leap and wants help with logistics, but that's all he's focused on then and he doesn't give me any entertaining tidbits. (This morning there was some frantic real-time e-mailing on logistical matters, not entirely resolved yet.) I hope I'll have more in another day or so.

I am really grateful to you all for your support and your willingness to share in both my excitement and my occasional anxiety over this trip. I don't have people in my regular life who are this interested in what Greg is up to, and it's been wonderful for me to have other travel enthusiasts I can "talk" to.

artsnletters, I would definitely buy his book! If you get up the nerve to tell him, remember - we're not exactly getting a play-by-play here. I would love to hear about his trip from his perspective. And I'm glad if our listening in is giving you some support in the bargain!

I too want to know what he thinks about his adventure when he's back from it all. I'd be really interested in his take of what he experienced around the world, and how others live.
(Just got back yesterday from 3.5 weeks away mself and am starting to write my TR)

M.

Hi Artsnletters, there's a wonderful quote about, "living all the days you're alive", that I can't remember properly now. I think Greg's doing just that - imagine the stories he'll have to tell when he's an old man! I'm so enjoying being part of his invisible caravan, and your support network for the nailbiting times. I'm imagining "Scruffman couchsurfs the World" as a movie ...

The Scruffman takes Denmark by storm – oh wait, it’s “The Scruffman takes Denmark in a storm”

When the Scruffman landed in Copenhagen on November 3, it was 4:00, already dark, and snowing heavily. He didn’t have a couch for the night and couldn’t find a hostel for less than $80, so he said “F*#@ it” and bedded down in a park, I assume at least somewhere sheltered. Once again, a generous local and a bartender provided free alcohol, so at least he was feeling no pain during the long, cold night. (What is this thing about buying the Scruffman drinks??? Is it his charming personality, or is it just that Europeans in general like to buy furriners drinks???)

Now, mom was not pleased with the combo of booze and bedding down alone outside, especially in winter. I am well aware that he could get “rolled” this way. So I have sent emphatic instructions: No HWD!!! (No hoboing while drunk – his term for sleeping out.) I can only hope he will observe this rule before he lives to regret it.

(For the truly horrified, I will add that the Scruffman discovered some years ago that his tolerance for alcohol is so great that to get truly drunk he has to drink so much he makes himself truly sick, and in response he stopped trying to drink to get drunk. So he is highly unlikely to have been “passed out” drunk.)

The next day, he located a couch (perhaps someone who pitied him his night in the snow?). Unfortunately, he had picked up a cold (surprise!?), and spent the next two days sleeping while he recuperated.

He was then supposed to hook up with his next couch host outside a concert in Christiania, a counterculture neighborhood created in the 1970s by squatters on an abandoned military base. I had actually suggested Copenhagen to the Scruffman because of this neighborhood, which seemed right up his hippie alley. But in the crush outside the concert, he was unable to connect with his couch host. However, in typical Scruffman fashion, he was the recipient of kindness and generosity from strangers, and was taken under the wing of Jacob, who lives about 30 minutes out of Copenhagen, for the night.

Finally, the next day he connected with Kris, who hosted him for the next four nights. Greg described Kris as a “musician and crazy political ranter like me,” and they hit it off famously. The Scruffman’s penchant for political ranting is built on his experiences working as street fundraiser for social causes, his occupation for the 18 months immediately preceding this trip. He obviously wasn’t a ranter on the street, or it would have been very hard to be as successful as he was at it, even on the streets of San Francisco, but it did require him to become very, very knowledgeable about the details of the issues he was fundraising for. It also gave him a broad experience of people’s contrary opinions and the ability to challenge and often to overcome them. He is a very difficult person to argue with, because he is calm, incredibly logical, and will instantly make you aware of any hypocrisy. He would make a heck of a lawyer, if only he could handle the books-and-writing part of it. Maybe he’ll end up a politician?

Anyway, all was quiet until the morning of November 10, when I woke up to an e-mail saying:

Since I haven't heard back from you about Göteborg I'm just assuming theres no inexpensive trains or busses. I think I'm just going to hit the road tomorrow and see if I can't hitchhike it...just hope I don't get stranded in between! I don't think it's too far and I can probably make it in a day if I get an early start but I don't have tons of day light to work with so it'll be a challenge.”

What??? I’d heard nothing about Göteborg! It’s another place that had occurred to me as a possible destination, as I’ve heard it’s a pretty cool place, but Sweden hadn’t originally been on the itinerary so I hadn’t mentioned it. Sweden had come up before – actually, as a sop to the grandparents who ended up funding this trip, if unwillingly, because they had set up the college fund that became the trip fund. Greg’s grandparents are very widely traveled, but his grandmother had never been to Sweden and would have liked to go (at 82, it isn’t going to happen now, in addition to her refusal to fly anywhere since 9/11). But he’d been talking about Malmö, just across the Oresund from Copenhagen.

Why the sudden change in plans? Does the pretty Swedish girl from the Shpongle concert live in Göteborg? I truly have no idea.

But the idea of him hitchhiking in Sweden in winter struck near-terror in my heart. I sent an urgent e-mail back telling him to wait, wait, I was working on it. And within a few minutes I had located a $25 bus fare from Copenhagen to Göteborg for the 11th of November. I e-mailed complete instructions on how to book the fare online to save 20% off the cost of purchasing on the bus. The return e-mail admitted that this did sound “nicer” – an awfully mild description of a means of transport to Göteborg that would be warm, dry, and efficient at quite modest cost.

And an e-mail bounced back in a few minutes saying he hadn’t been able to complete the transaction online and asking me to give it a try. This required me to call the credit card company and let them know I was making a transaction from Sweden, before jumping online myself and buying his ticket without incident. I e-mailed back the info and got one of his elaborate e-mails back. Entire message: “Sweet! I’ll be in touch.”

And this morning, the 12th, I received another of those newsy e-mails:

I MADE IT!

Hey Arts -

Loving the Scruffman journey.

I'm not the least bit surprised at the "kindness of strangers" he is encountering. I remember very well the camaraderie and generosity of other young people who are living that kind of life from my young days of traveling similarly (30 years ago).

A casual conversation on a street in Vancouver turned into being invited to stay a week at the house of a group of artists. A guy I met kayaking in New Zealand gave me the address of a friend in the next town, who invited me to spend a few days with her, having never even met me. Etc., etc. So many stories, I'd have to start another thread. It's amazing the good things that can happen when you open yourself up to the world. (Although of course now that I have kids the Scruffman's age I have to admonish them that bad things can happen too (just like they can happen in a grocery store parking lot at home) so you of course have to use some judgment.) Sounds like Scruffman is doing wonderfully.

Yay Scruffman!

I cannot help but imagine the scenario of him chatting with someone somewhere, telling about his travels, and the other person saying, "Hey wait a minute, you must be The Scruffman!"

/Nonsense modus off. I thoroughly enjoy following your report of your son's adventures. It shows you respect him and his lifestyle although you don't agree with everything he does. This is the most precious gift any young adult can receive from his/her parents, which many others don't get. He listens to you - he can, because of that.

Young people traveling off season can count on much more generosity than in the middle of summer. This is probably the best time of year for this kind of trip.

What would we do without e-mail and the internet. A great stress relieving medium when you have children living overseas and they keep in touch. Then again can be a great cause of stress when you read about what they are doing.

I am really enjoying reading Greg's adventures.

hi, scruffman's mum,

I've just caught your thread for the first time.

I think I may have a scruffman in the making.

i don't know whether to laugh or cry.

watching through my fingers,

regards, ann

<<I cannot help but imagine the scenario of him chatting with someone somewhere, telling about his travels, and the other person saying, "Hey wait a minute, you must be The Scruffman!">>

quokka, let us hope this never happens! I think I will never be forgiven! You are right though that I respect his choices. I'm trying to be a ready resource so that I can try to head off trouble before it turns into something major.

kerouac: Not to mention, I think people feel sorrier for the underfunded and/or desperate during cold weather.

annhig: It's not as bad as all that. Just make sure your incipient scruffman gets lots of real-world experience while he's still home. Mine has lived on his own for several years, spent some time walking "on the wild side" while still in his hometown including time in kinda dicey urban neighborhoods, done a lot of camping including desert camping (which is both very hot and very cold), and logged tons of hours talking to people from all walks of life for years - attended a very diverse high school, and through his street work. Especially his street work. He says you have about 30 seconds to convince someone that they want to stop and talk to you - imagine the skills you develop when you spend all day getting 30 seconds to get people to stop and talk to you, plus trust you enough to give you money/credit card info. But the point of all this is, he isn't naive, he knows how to take care of himself when he needs to rough it, and he can connect very quickly with people, which I imagine is quite useful when he really needs help. That doesn't mean he isn't going to encounter disaster at some point, but I think he's less at risk than some. So encourage your scruffman-in-training to develop the skills he'll need before he embarks on such an adventure. (And don't show him these threads unless what you fear becomes inevitable!)

hi Scruffman's mum,

<<annhig: It's not as bad as all that. Just make sure your incipient scruffman gets lots of real-world experience while he's still home>>

that's not so easy in rural Cornwall. He's applying to uni but inertia is setting in, as he's on the notorious gap-year and enjoying hanging with his mates who are similarly underemployed. He's looking for a job but they are like hen's teeth. I don't want to be a nag but as the family's only gainfully employed person it's not easy.

Sorry. Vent over.

looking forwrd [ I think] to the next installment,

regards, ann

"He would make a heck of a lawyer, if only he could handle the books-and-writing part of it. Maybe he’ll end up a politician?"

Priceless!!!! LOL

Ann, that is scary! The Scruffman is very committed to self-sufficiency, albeit at a very low level. He doesn't ask me for money - hasn't since he moved out at 18, although he has accepted donations of food from time to time! This is probably the only college education he's going to get, as despite his intelligence he doesn't get on with school (learning disabilities), and he's viewing this as his education. Beats me what he'll do with it, but he isn't a mooch, even off his mom. (I was a single parent for 15 of his 18 years at home, and he appreciates that that was a big challenge for me financially. He knows I'm not in a position to let him loaf at home.)

The job situation sucks everywhere. Truly an awful time. Hence not such a bad time to be a Scruffman on the road. I hope it will be better when he gets home.

Best of luck to you and your scruffster.

Arts,

You and him are an incredible team !

M.

Enjoying the saga. Sounds like you continue to play a critical role in his travels. He is so lucky to have you for back-up.

I have a nephew graduating from college next month who plans on taking a year to travel the world. I can't decide whether or not to send him this link. I'm not even his mother and the thought of it makes me very anxious. Oh, the couch surfing thing....

Hello artsnletters. About fifteen years ago a young fellow, family member did as your son is doing. We would get a collect phone call from time to time but no day to day communications, well except for some postcards. At the time we wished we heard more often from him but I have to say after he returned home and shared his adventures it was probably a good thing that we didn't. We would have been a nervous wreck! And he too couched surfed although I don't remember that term being used at the time. Anyway, he made it home safe and sound and broke of course. Our young scuffyman and yours sound so similar. Our fellow has sinced gotten his university degree, married, bought a house and is now a father. How they change over the years. Best wishes to you along with admiration for how you are handling this, and wishes that your son has a wonderful time thoughout his journey.

This evening I accidentally stumbled across the 3 threads and couldn't stop reading. It's reinvigorated my memory of college years in the early 1960's.

What a different world now. Then: only means of communicating was phone (too expensive) and mail. Most of my and friends' parents wouldn't hear from any of us except once every few months ... and most of what we wrote were short .... and highly self-censored.

One half of Shpongle is in his 70's eh? ... Hmmm ... memories and thoughts percolating ... I wonder if my wife would be as accepting of an elder-exploration as are you of your son's exploration. (Ooops ... I just remembered how uncomfortable it can be sleeping in the rain)

I quickly learned to get a spot under the overpasses in Vondelpark in Amsterdam, even when the night seemed clear.

I just stumbled across these threads as well,and haven't been able to stop reading, despite a pressing deadline.

Thanks so much for such an entertaining read. It brings back memories for me as well. I also took off on an open-ended trip at 21. I set off to Europe via Asia with only the first flight to Singapore organised. I think I was on a budget like $10 a day, seems inconceivable now. The trip taught me so much!

Scruffman--what a great name--sounds like a delightful young man. I think I was probably scruffgirl at that point--my mother did despair and I did grow out of it, well almost...

It really is great to hear from those of you who've done something like this, or know someone who has. I envy my boy this trip, although really I only wish I had wanted to do it, back in the day. I wanted the trip, but not this kind of a trip. In the end it didn't matter, I married young and we bought a house and that was that. I'm glad he's sowing some wild oats while they are easy to sow.

Susan7, how long ago was that? I think the Scruffman's budget is about $20 a day plus transportation costs. He certainly made it across the US on that or less.

And I too am sitting here, drumming my fingers, impatiently waiting for word from the Scruffman. I know where he has been and where he is right now, but little else about the last 10 days or so. I'm hoping he will find time to send me a little of his story soon so I can share some more with you.

I'm sure you can hear the collective sound of all our fingers drumming as we too wait patiently

It was the end of 1981 when I left Australia. My $10 budget was mainly in Asia and it didn't include transport costs either. I worked when I got to Europe--I've got two passports.

Such a good expression isn't it "sowing some wild oats"? I totally agree with you, early 20s is the time to do it. It opened my eyes to the world, and the diversity in it, in a way that has marked me forever.

You sound like you are being a terrific support! Can't wait for the next installment!!!

Hi artsnletters, how's Scruffman doing? I didn't get a chance to catch up on all the messages in this thread yet. Was Scruffman able to meet the budge of $20 a day? The USD against the EUR is falling fast...1.51 to 1 today...

Joins finger drumming chorus

I hope our young friend is doing well and involved in so many happy adventures that he simply doesn't find time to write.

artsnletter:

What a great story goes on here. It has struck home...Like you, my mom was a very understanding, fun person. When I was a high schooler at 17, I brought home some enlistment papers for the United States Army..had to be signed by parents unless enlistee was 18. No questions asked, she signed and insisted that dad do the same...so when I was four years younger than Scruffman I was in Alabama training to join MacArthur's Occupation troops in Japan....next two years I carried a loaded M-1 rifle through the mountains and rice paddies of Kyushu.
Thanks, Mom (she was a wonderful mother, and dad a great father..both long gone now, of course)...but I still remember that while other parents gave their underage kids a hard time for signing up even though the draft for 18-year-olds was still on then and they would have to go eventually, I very proudly got to serve my country in a time of need, when tired veterans of the nasty War in the Pacific sorely needed replacements, so they could finally go home.

Scruffman will still love you for this decades from now!

Stu Tower

At last!

The Scruffman weathers Scandinavia

In retrospect, the Scruffman thought Copenhagen was just all right, although his opinion might be colored by the fact that he was sick for most of his stay. Mom had sent him there on a mission to see Christiania, a former military base that has been occupied by counterculture squatters since the 70s and now has the legal status of a sort of independent commune, including exemption from Copenhagen zoning laws. Until recently, soft drugs were grown, produced, and sold openly in Christiania, but when the police cracked down, the drug trade was taken over by street gangs who are supplied by large trafficking entities. This has really soured the community and brought in violent crime and hard drugs. The Scruffman expressed sadness that Christiania’s glory days are now behind it and fading fast.

His 10-day sojourn in Göteborg was the result of following up with the pretty Swedish girl from the Shpongle concert in London. I believe he stayed with her the whole time, but his comment was that ”things became complicated and it made for a very strange week.” I will probably hear that story some day, but it sounds rather too “complicated” for an e-mail. However, one day he met some Israeli fellows and helped them sell paintings on the street. The Scruffman has plentiful experience in selling things on the street, although usually it’s social change rather than something concrete. The Israelis proposed going to Oslo for the weekend to sell paintings, and Greg decided to go along. However, the weather forecast wasn’t favorable, so in the end his Israeli friends decided to bag it. The Scruffman decided to stick with the plan and went anyway and stayed three days.

In the end, the Scruffman didn’t find Scandinavia very hospitable. It was overcast or raining or snowing the entire time (nearly three weeks) except for his last day in Oslo, when he finally saw the sun. He found it very draining, and felt that the locals got ground down by it as well. The main activity he described was “having to adapt and improvise around weather conditions, conserving funds in a VERY expensive place, and dodging fares for public transportation.” I hate to think what that last bit meant, but apparently he got very good at it. Nonetheless, it wasn’t an ideal travel experience by anyone's standard.

Before leaving for Oslo, the Scruffman requested his maternal travel agent’s assistance in locating cheap transport from Oslo to Berlin, and Mom found a great $50 flight. But the Scruffman deferred his decision until the fare had risen, so after his three days in Oslo, he bought an overnight bus ticket to Berlin.

And as an afterthought, remembering the start of the Scruffman’s travels, Mom wrote:

“I hope redundant by now, but if you're taking the bus, I believe you have to change in Malmö - do check when you get on the bus, OK?”

And got back:

”Hehe, yup, learned my lesson on that one when I woke up in Reno instead of Portland!"

The Scruffman finds a bastion of Hippiedom in Berlin, lies in the Museum of Lies, and has one of those “small-world” experiences

“Holy f***ing damn,” the Scruffman exclaimed, “am I glad to be out of Scandinavia!” The gloom of the north proved taxing to the Scruffman’s sunny nature, and even on first acquaintance Berlin was more to his liking.

He likes all the cool graffiti, which undoubtedly some feel is urban blight, but which he sees as urban delight. For another thing, his money is going farther. A liter of beer is one euro! A huge plate of pasta for less than three euros! He can eat again!!! This is the kind of thing I care about, as the Scruffman has never been overweight in the slightest, he got thinner when he moved out on his own, and thinner still when he became a vegetarian. I am glad he feels he can afford to eat!

He is staying with a group of students who are squatting in a university theater in protest of some academic policy or another. Apparently hygiene is at a minimum, and most of his hosts are, like the Scruffman, engaged in growing dreadlocks. The main occupations are drinking and skateboarding, biking, and rollerblading through the empty corridors of the theater. Knowing the Scruffman, I imagine he rather enjoys the anarchic underpinnings of such activities.

The Scruffman took a train out to Potsdam one day to visit some castles and hike in the forest. While hitchhiking between Potsdam and the forest, he was given a ride by a woman who invited him to a party at a place called The Museum of Lies in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere. The Scruffman described the museum as “one of the craziest places I have ever seen,” with all the art made out of trash, most of it psychedelic in theme, and most pieces moved and made weird sounds as well. The party included a free buffet and bar, fire-dancing (strangely enough, the Scruffman does a bit of this), and a terrific band. He even joined in the jam session. And after all that, they let him sleep in a bed upstairs for the night!

So at the moment he’s preparing to hitchhike to Amsterdam – well, more specifically Leiden. He’s going to be staying with some people he met at a thrift store in our hometown about three years ago, right after Burning Man (see US thread). These folks had given him their contact information, which he had of course lost shortly thereafter. But while in Berlin, he was talking to a girl at a party about looking for a place to stay in Amsterdam, and she gave him the contact information for the Burning Man people – whom he immediately realized he knew! OK, so it is really a small world! These people are squatting somewhere in Leiden. They are also the first people to tell the Scruffman about couchsurfing, so it seems only appropriate to surf their couch.

The girl also told him about a community outside of Brugge, Belgium, that is living in treehouses, so the Scruffman is considering that for his next stop after the Netherlands.

One issue that has arisen is that he can’t visit his friend in Florence before about the 5th of January, as the friend is going to have finals and then non-stop visitors until that time. So the Scruffman is casting about for ideas about what to do between about mid-December and early January, which of course includes the holidays. I suspect this will be a difficult time to couchsurf. I’ve been seeking suggestions on another thread, and so far Morocco and Tunisia have come up, but if anyone here has ideas, please speak up!

Sorry that Scandinavia was not a great experience, but it really is expensive and late autumn is not the best time to visit -- as long as he files away this information for some time in the future of his life, that is already good.

Berlin was a great place for him to go. I'm surprised that he did not settle in there longer. The Netherlands is always an interesting experience, so that should go quite well...

The weather in northern Europe is getting really wintery at the moment, but the Christmas season is a great time to be here, at least visually.

My DD can also attest to the fact that it is expensive in Scandanvia. They only spent a couple of days there when on their cruise ship band gig, and found Copenhagen was very expensive, compared to France, Spain, and other countries they visited. They did have nice weather though.

I am really enjoying reading Scruffman's adventures, although winter is not really the best time to travel I would have thought. Hope he manages to find some great things to do over the holiday period.

If he can get there easily enough, I also think that he may like southern Turkey (sapphire coast) over Christmas. I loved Turkey; The people are among the friendliest and its not too expensive. I didn't go to that part of Turkey (wish I had more time) but when I was researching (3 years ago) it looked like a place Greg would like and find suitable to his likes and needs.

I have to admit, kerouac, that I also thought a week in Berlin was rather short, especially as it sounds like he was having a spectacular time there. Perhaps the crazy theater community was wearing thin, or he has a reason for wanting to get to Leiden sooner rather than later.

I wish I had more access to his thoughts on his travels, but I have to keep in mind that I intentionally gave him a lot of space once he reached adulthood, and typically we only talked on the phone about once a week unless there was "business" to take care of, even though he only lived a couple miles away. I figure if you don't pursue, they don't have to run away. I should be grateful that I hear from him as often as I do!

Berlin was on the list of places I gave him that I thought he would particularly like, given its reputation for youth culture and great nightlife. He certainly managed to tap right into a congenial group and scene!

Oh my, to be young and so relaxed about sleeping arrangements and so forth although I admit artsnletters I was never that "young", lol. I am so enjoying your thread and I sure hope scuffman figures out somewhere to go that is on the warm side, inexpensive and fun over the holiday season.

Teehee, LI, me neither. Although it is quite different for young women - there are things women just can't do safely. I think I would be worrying a whole lot more if it were my daughter traveling this way. As I said somewhere on one of these threads, I envy both my son's desire and his ability to travel in such a spontaneous, carefree way. Then again, I admit that I like at least a modicum of creature comforts, which you can't have if you need to be prepared to bunk down in a snowy park or an abandoned theater. So this is totally a vicarious thrill for me!

Just noticed on the Scruffman's couchsurfing page that he logged in an hour ago in Amsterdam. Since he was hitchhiking, he made excellent time - I believe he left this morning from Berlin!

Isn't it great how you can track where your kids are!!! The power of the internet.

I need to stick a GPS tracker on him, LOL!

I got my son a SPOT GPS tracker when he was sailing down the coast of Mexico, and camping on the beach. It is a tiny little device that sends a signal to a satellite, and which you can track online. Hooks to Google Earth, so you can see exactly where your young'un is each day. Costs about $100.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703939404574567423917025400.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_sections_opinion

I was able to see where he was, and he could even send me brief messages on his progress.

Clearly your son has an excellent ability to connect with people. It's great he's using this gift.

I'm sure glad that tracking devices weren't available in the 60's when I was younger ... it would have worried my parents even more, and would have hindered my developing self reliance.

It's great that Scruffman is making his way so well ... and its great he and his mom are so connected when necessary.

I am SO enjoying this, artnletters! I am the ultra-proud Mum of an only recently-past-tense Scruffwoman...no, SHE is not past tense, just the Scruff part. Dreadlocks, armpits and legs that never met a razor, nothing new ever went on her tiny body, (including soap for a rather grim period!)...but, gosh, she was and is a very interesting young person.

When she graduated from high school (in Italy)in 2000, she took off on the adventure of a lifetime. Her father and I held our mutual breath as she emailed and phoned in her latest tale of risk, education and merriment. No fear, an incredible optimism and street smarts took her all over for months on end.

Those traveling days are on hold now: Scruffwoman came home at last, went to university, graduated at 26 as valedictorian of her class. She worked for various youth groups, learned to cook locavore and gluten-free (Scruffwoman is celiac)fostered a dog and was married last summer to an equally special young man. She now spends her time running a youth violence intervention programme. When I walked down the inner-city streets with her a couple of weeks ago, these really scarey looking dudes come out of the alleyways to give my 5' 2" redhead a big hug and tell her how well they are doing.

I will be enjoying every minute of Scruffman's adventures with a mixture of relief and regret for times past...now I have to wait for another generation of adventurer!

LJ, your Scruffwoman sounds like an amazing young woman. Her adventures have helped her relate to those young peoplewho are still searching. Thanks for sharing!

And artsnletters, your Scruffman is having a wonderful adventure which I thank you for sharing with us!

elbegewa, I second your gratitude that there were no tracking devices in the days of my adventures. In fact, I would not appreciate the invasion of my privacy these days, though I suppose that if someone has nothing better to do with their time than to track an old maid school teacher as she goes about her business in town, they should go for it. The punishment (pure boredom) would fit the crime!

I think in nukesafe's case, his son was in an area which could potentially be quite dangerous (the coast of Mexico), and I got the sense that the GPS was welcomed by both parties. Sort of like taking emergency contact technology with you when you are climbing a mountain. So it would be different than a young person going through Europe.

nukesafe, Greg would have absolutely refused to take one. I would have had to find a way to hide it in his luggage (and what is the battery life?)! And in a strange way, I'd hate to intrude that much. I would feel like a snoop.

WillTravel, I think my son's interpersonal gifts are extraordinary, on the level of having perfect pitch or a photographic memory. His unusual ability to read people's emotions was evident by the time he was 10. By the time he hit high school, he had more friends than he could handle - he wasn't "popular" in the usual sense, as in being a status symbol or running with the "in" crowd, but lots and lots and lots of people liked hanging with him. Since he went to a very diverse high school and his friends ran the gamut of race, religion, sexuality, and ethnicity, that's saying something.

LJ, your Scruffdaughter is clearly a woman after my Scruffson's heart. He would appreciate her principles, her independence, and her adventurous spirit, so like his own. You must feel you did something right in raising such a spirited, original, compassionate woman. So much nicer than creating another cookie-cutter corporate lawyer from Harvard, don't you think? (My apologies to any corporate lawyers reading this.) I also appreciate these young people who are putting together such interesting life experiences. I didn't get anywhere near as much out of my early adulthood.

irishface, my life would likewise be a similar bore. She went to work, went home. She went to work, went to the grocery store, went home. She went to work, went to a movie, went home. Zzzzzzzz!

I can see why your son might feel carrying a SPOT GPS thingy might be too intrusive, but they are still neat for those who wander away from civilization, IMO.

To answer your question about battery life, here is what the manufacturer says:

"The battery life of SPOT under normal usage includes approximately one year if it is powered on and unused. When tracking or SPOTcasting the unit battery life is approximately 14 days. In this mode a message is sent every 10 minutes. When the 911 mode is active batteries should last up to 7 consecutive days. There is a message sent every 5 minutes in 911 mode. SPOT should be able to send up to 1900 OK messages with the lithium batteries. We recommend always having a back up in case of emergency."

Thanks for taking us along on your son's adventure!

Brief Scruffman Update
Dateline: Leiden, the Netherlands

OMG, he is living with (apparently legal!) squatters in Leiden, the Netherlands, and they dumpster-dive for their food!!! From supermarkets, apparently. His hosts have told him he can stay as long as he likes, and since it's free, he's planning on staying through Christmas.

He has offered to buy me a Christmas present somewhere. I have of course reminded him that I collect bookmarks, but given his interests I don't really think he'll be coming across any of those. In the meantime, I can't think of anything of modest cost both to purchase and ship from the Netherlands or Italy. I'm open to ideas!

Fantastic news, it's great he has got friends to stay with at Christmas.

Should be a lot of bookmarks in the dumpsters!

nukesafe, other than the dumpster I imagine he's spending his time in bars, cafes (those cafes) and young folks' hangouts. Probably won't be in a bookstore, or a museum gift shop (where I often find the best ones). Ah, well. Maybe I should just ask him to send me the best looking morsel out of the dumpster?

I remember a Dutch morsel --- Oh, you meant food --

Seriously, I envy him being in Amsterdam. I can think of few cities I'd rather be in, particularly when monetarily challenged. Many years ago (35) I was stranded in Amsterdam, on my boat, almost completely out of money. Within days I had made fast friends, some of whom are still in my life. Later, I took the boat to England to try to sell her there, and left after a month without making a single friend. I fled back to the warmth of Holland.

I spent parts of two winters there, before going back to the States. I'm certain that Greg will find at least a temporary refuge there among fine folks.

anl, have him collect some fun paper coasters from a local bar... easy to ship, and since he's so good at connecting with people, if he asked for them to send, he'd get an armful : ) I just was cleaning out something and stumbled across a bunch I had from a trip somewhere and they made me smile. Not necessarily high decor item, but fun and would make you think of him...

loving the scruffy adventures. If only a scruffdog. or a flat scruffstanley~!

Here's to a Merry Scruffmas adventure for both Greg and Mom!Dumpster diving in Amsterdam should yield some interesting tid-bits this time of year especially outside 'those' cafes.
We will be thinking of you both and I am going to share the Scruffman thread with my little post-Scruffwoman who is busily building gluten-free gingerbread houses with the youngest of her homeless charges this afternoon.

How is Scruffman doing? Any updates?

kkukura, I have had nothing but monosyllabic (well, virtually monosyllabic) e-mails from the Scruffman since I posted last. I am holding out hope for a Christmas phone call!

It would be a real upper to hear from him. I'm having a rough patch of life right now and facing my first solo Christmas, and he's always a ray of sunshine.

Sending you a big hug, artsnletters, as I sure understand how you need to have a good conversation with your son. I so hope he calls you for Christmas.

Come on over to the Lounge and post and you will find lots of good thoughts and understanding with your situation as there are so many caring and loving people that post in the Lounge Forum. Best regards.

hi arts -
I sympathise with your plight - a friend of mine's DD is in Oz at the moment on her "gap year" [she's only 18], and another friend has her DD out in Saudi; she's 29 but still, it's a worry.

hopefully he'll phone, but remember - no news is good news.

best wishes for christmas,

regards, ann

PS - not sure of loveitaly posted that last post tongue in cheek!

Thank you LI for your support. Ann, I do spend some time in the Lounge, and people can be pretty brutal when it's political, but when someone are in difficulty, the outpouring of sympathy is very touching.

Maybe he'll show up at your door on Christmas eve, clean shaven with short hair and wearing a business suit. Of course, that wouldn't make for a very nice Christmas since you would drop dead from shock.

Ha ha, kerouac. He wouldn't seem like himself! I believe the only time he's worn a suit in his entire life was when he was 5 and served as the ring-bearer in a friend's wedding.

I'd love to see the dreadlocks gone, but his normal curly hair at some length above the shoulders would be just fine. (Oh how mortified he was when he hit puberty and his formerly straight-as-a-ruler hair turned into ringlets!)

And ya know, I miss him, but I want him to stay on his trip and continue his adventure.

Hi from Australia artsnletters! I've had one 21 yo son drive around Australia (where his post-puberty curly hair turned into dreadlocks) in '06. It took about 6 months and they (4 friends) took any jobs along the way (digging ditches/painting/furniture removals/ fruit picking) as well as the odd phone call "Hey Mum we've just arrived in Melbourne/Riverina/Maclarenvale/Kunnunurra and I need some money for the first night's stay in a hostel". The Kombi they bought was 1973 version that they had to push-start a lot! It died in the middle of the road in Melbourne, but they all piled into the one reliable van that took them the rest of the way (about 2/3 of Australia). (There were 3 in one van and 2 in the better one)

His dreadlocks were the longest hair at his graduation as a software engineer last week, and he got distinctions ever since returning to uni!
I think his trip was the best thing ever, as I know you also feel about Greg!

Another son (I have 3) spent 6 months going around the world last year (without a mobile phone) and I know how you feel when they don't contact you for ages! Cuba for 2 weeks with no contact was a bit nerve-wracking, but the best place on his sojourn after Burning Man!!

Keep up the news - we love to live vicariously through our brave young who are doing the things we perhaps were never game to do!

I'm still waiting along with the rest of you, but I had a brief Christmas e-mail from the Scruffman sending his love and promising a phone call "in the next few days," whatever that means in his circumstances!

While I know he's been staying in Leiden after a couple nights in Amsterdam, his log-ons to the couchsurfing site have indicated he's getting around a fair amount - I've seen Utrecht, Rotterdam, Flevoland, and this morning Apeldoorn.

I'm really looking forward to hearing a bit about all this! When I hear from him again (with some detail), I'll post another update.

I saw another post of yours, artsnletters, and wondered how our "Fodor's boy" was doing. Maybe you will get a phone call for New Years, I sure hope so! I hope Greg has been able to keep warm, gads it seems Europe is so cold this winter! Sending a hug and understanding how you feel.

Thinking of you, Artsn...greetings of the season and hang in there knowing there are others waiting with you for the reports from Scruffland. Hey, sounds like you`d better get planning your own next trip!

I had no idea dreadlocks were so popular!

I bet the Scruffman is having the time of his young life.

Watch this space .... According to an e-mail today, my long-awaited Christmas telephone call is supposed to arrive tomorrow morning!

Can't wait arts

Best wishes artsnletters..have a fun and informative telephone conversation with that great son of yours!

Got my phone call! Will update soon - maybe this evening.

Hooray! You must be pleased...

OMG! is that it??? That's where I have to sit and wait to find out what happens?

I just found this thread today... I wasn't paying too much attn to the date stamps obviously - I still thought it was early Dec that I was reading.

Excellllllent TR. I did the couchsurfing across the USA back when I was 22-24 (early 90s). It was harder to network back then w/out the web, so options were less avail to us couchcampers (I guess the verb changed, huh?) ...tho things are different nearly 20 years later, based on what I read, he could have made it in any decade!

I will most def check back to read this thread!!!

~Jay

I'm so glad you heard from him! It must have been wonderful to hear his voice.

Can't wait!

Yeah! I can't wait to hear how he is doing!

kerouac, could you please e-mail me if you're still interested in possibly meeting the Scruffman? He may be coming through Paris in the next few days.

So... how is he doing? Can't wait to hear more...

I have more to add, but have had a headache for three days and working extra hours (probably related). Get to work this weekend as well, lucky me. I'll write it up shortly.

Awww that sounds nasty... best wishes, get better soon!!!!

For the others: since it has been determined that I will not be in town at the right time, I absolutely hope that I will be in the city the next time Scruffman passes through Paris.

I hope that artnletters will be able to transmit to me his impressions of the city in its current 'frozen solid' state, so that I can make the necessary corrections whenever the time arises again.

I am of the school that believes that Paris can be wonderful at any time of the year, but it will be much easier to appreciate in clement weather. (I am flying to the U.S. in a day or two, and the weather is even worse!)

Actually, kerouac, plans are currently in flux, so it might come together after all. I will be in touch when I have an idea what's going on.

For the rest of you, I haven't forgotten about you ... more story coming soon.

Apologies if you felt urged by my question - the purpose was a) pushing up the thread and b) expressing interest.

I have never been as adventurous as your son and will never be, so I am reading your report with a mix of fascination, admiration and sometimes bewilderment.

Oh just you wait, quokka ... He's had a very interesting time lately - I guarantee it's nothing you would have done in your most adventurous dreams!

I never mind knowing there are still people following the story.

Am still following along with the story. Hope you feel better.

Another follower here...

I'm still here too. Looking forward to hearing about the interesting time - hope that's not the "Chinese" kind of interesting!

Inquiring minds want to know.....

Oh, the challenge of being Mom and not knowing much about what’s going on with your dearly loved son who is wandering around somewhere out there! Greg has been in the Netherlands since December 1, and I’ve had only very brief communications from him. Apparently his internet access has been very limited and very slow when available. I watch the log-ins on his couchsurfing page – it shows where and how long ago he logged on, and I’m always relieved when he’s been on because at least then I know he’s still alive and well enough to get on the internet. Nonetheless, it’s been hard sometimes, partly because I’m terribly curious and partly because getting through the holidays without him was a bit of a bummer – we usually spend Christmas just the two of us. (Although I did get a Christmas day e-mail telling me not to worry about him, that he was doing well and “among good friends.”)

I finally got my long-awaited Christmas phone call the morning of January 5, so I can finally update the story.

The Scruffman lives low in Leiden

The Scruffman hitched a ride from Berlin to Amsterdam in a single day – he met a couple girls at a gas station and they took him all the way. His couchsurfing page now notes that he considers hitchhiking an interest, “although it’s usually more interesting than enjoyable.” He spent two days in Amsterdam with a couchsurfing host. He dismissed Amsterdam pretty quickly – his comment was that he found it very plastic and touristy, and he didn’t like it.

Greg then headed to Leiden to hook up with people he had first met in his hometown three years before. He arrived in Leiden on December 3, and he has been there ever since. His hosts told him he could stay as long as he likes, so he decided to stay through Christmas as he had nowhere else to go, and thus would have company for the holidays.

Nukesafe, you’re right – he loves the Netherlands! In fact, he has decided he would like to be Dutch. He is now talking about coming home to work for a while after his trip, studying Dutch, and then getting a work visa to go back. We all know how realistic this plan is, but hey, dream away.

He is staying in a squat. This particular one is in a former bar. The bar has no windows, so it’s like a cave, and there are ten clocks on the walls, each with a different time (and all of them wrong), so once inside, there’s no real sense of what time of day or night it is. There are five or six residents at any given time, only one of whom appears to be permanent. Others rotate in and out periodically. The denizens of this den dumpster-dive for their food every night at supermarkets – Greg reports that they get great fresh vegetables, bread – once even chocolate!

Every Friday they host an eetcafe, for which they cook food (most of it dumpster-dived) and sell it for 3 euros per meal. This money is used to pay for the utilities – because although the bar is squatted, it is a legal squat, so they have electricity, heat, water, a shower – the works. Twice a week they make food and take it to the homeless.

Under the law up until January 1, 2010, squatting is legal. Here’s how you do/did it. You find a building that has not been occupied for at least 12 months. You get a crowd of people together and break down the door. You rush in, reinstall the door, and barricade every entrance so the police can’t come in and throw you out. You stay for five days. You get one bed, one table, and one chair into the place. Then you can call the police to come and register you as living there. The only part of this arrangement that is illegal is the breaking-and-entering part. Living in a building you don’t own or rent is not illegal. Once you are officially living there, it’s very hard to throw you out – some squats have been going 20 years. Greg knows about this because he helped break in and set up a squat in a church in Haarlem.

Apparently the law changed at the beginning of the year and squatting will no longer be legal. However, at his squat nothing has happened. He says there are 50,000 squatters in the Netherlands, and if they throw everyone out at once, they will have 50,000 homeless people. Plus, as those of you living in Europe right now know, this has been a very harsh winter. I imagine they’re in no hurry to have 50,000 people living on the street in this weather. However, the future of squatting is uncertain.

I asked him what he does during the day. He said he cleans a lot because there are a lot of people coming through. So it sounds like he spends a lot of his time “shopping” (at supermarket dumpsters), cooking, and cleaning. I guess he would make a great housewife! He has also traveled around some – I have seen log-ons in Rotterdam, Utrecht, Den Haag, Haarlem, and Flevoland. I’m somewhat disturbed by his admission that he gets around on the train, but doesn’t pay fares – he (and I assume his new friends) have become masters at dodging conductors.

OK, just to be clear, I don’t approve of all the law-flouting he seems to be engaged in, at least as it relates to dodging train fares, and I sincerely hope he doesn’t get himself into trouble. Otherwise, I think he’s certainly been resourceful in finding a way to survive on next to nothing. I believe at this point, during the 3-1/2 months he’s been gone from home, he has spent perhaps $1,500 total, including transportation!

He sounds exactly like several European kids I know. They get by just fine. How old is he?

gertie - 21, almost 22.

It sounds like he's doing what lots of European kids do at that stage. I certainly did. I didn't tell my parents though. He'll come back (if he does) a different person!

Thanks for the update! It is good to know that he is surviving and enjoying himself.

One of my sons once squatted in the Libyan Embassy (People's Bureau)in London back in the '80s. If you remember, the Libyans fired on a crowd demonstrating outside, and killed a British policewoman. This really pissed off the Brits, and they laid siege to the Embassy for 11 days before expelling all of the Libyans from the country.

As soon as they left, my Son, who was going to university in London, and a number of other chaps broke into the building and set up residence. When the cops came to throw them out, the guys argued that they had not broken into British property, but that of Libya, and that the Police had no jurisdiction there.

Upon consideration, the authorities decided that they owed the Libyans zip, and let the squatters stay. My boy lived happily there for quite some time, before he eventfully dropped out of school and hit the road, much like your Son, the Scruffman. I must say he has turned out to be a wonderful and responsible human being, of whom I am extremely proud. I'm sure Greg will turn out the same way.

Artsnletters, you and your son are amazing. I am so glad he is taking this trip and you are sharing it with all of us here on fodors. Honestly, you should write it up and sell it to a movie production house, sounds like a great movie! Thanks for keeping us up to date.

Do you think he's happy? This is probably a dumb question since he'd probably leave if he wasn't. Cooking and cleaning just doesn't sound like fun for anyone, much less a 21-year old.

"A well rounded life" - imagine the fees to teach someone this degree of resourcefulness, negotiation skills; inter cultural understanding, not to mention the travel, accommodation & other costs! He'd be a great Corporate Head, Headmaster or Educator one day if he chooses. And if not, he'll be the most interesting person at everyone's table.

I'm laughing at my vision of you peering through your fingers at his posts, artsnletters ... like watching a film where you're not at all sure you want to see the next bit - but can't quite resist either.

Thanks for keeping all us invisible "Aunts & Uncles" up to date.

nukesafe, my son would have been right alongside yours. I share your confidence that he'll turn out fine in his own time.

gregeva1, he is planning to write it up himself. I'm quite a decent writer, but he is a better writer than I am - I know the grammar, but he knows how to be entertaining. Plus, you know I'm only getting the tip of the iceberg! Of course, I'm hoping y'all will buy his book when it comes out! I kind of wish he was the blogger sort of guy, as he could probably make some money off this while he's on the trip.

Jackie, he sounded really great, happy and engrossed in his adventure. And recall, he's decided he'd like to stay in the Netherlands forever. I suspect he's doing a lot more than cleaning and cooking (he does like cooking, though, which is a good thing since he's a vegetarian and if you don't cook it usually means you're eating total crap) and just doesn't want to tell me about it. Either he doesn't want to get into it because I'll want to know everything, or perhaps he thinks I might be distressed by some of it. (Although I'm not easily distressed.)

Bokhara2, in many ways my son was an extraordinary person before he left on this trip. He had a pretty interesting childhood, in its way, and he was not doing the standard young adult thing either. I share your sense that he's going to end up being one of those fascinating people you sometimes encounter who've had adventures and experiences no one else has and whose vision of the world is unique.

Artsnletters, my DD who did a five month cruise ship gig playing music last year, took the train from Civeitavecchia to Rome and didn't buy a ticket as other crew members had told her they don't check once you are on the train. However she stressed about it the whole time she was on there, and bought a ticket on the way back.

Your son sounds great. I have three boys, the first two have already travelled alot and the third (age 20) will be doing something similar this summer going to Europe. I had never hear of 'couchsurfing' sites before. Like 'home exchange' for the young. Its great. My middle son spent time hitching in Nicarauga and Panama but also rode his 'dirt bike' from Alberta Canada to the tip of Baja Mexico, in winter, with a surfboard on the side. Talk about a worried Mom. I can relate to you so much. I would check his bank account (we had a joint account for his travelling) to see where and if he was withdrawing money so I was sure he was still alive!
We are heading for India in 9 days. Perhaps we will run into the Scruffman there?!!

Artsnletters: You are certainly a role model of a mother,and I am gratified to hear this story. You have given your son wings, and he is already an international citizen because of it. Your courage is remarkable,esp. since you are not apparently living in any bed of roses yourself.

I would have found myself to be very selfish in your shoes, and too needy not to try to keep my son around.

Of course, my son, too showed more courage than I have by joining the Merchant Marine when he was 18 instead of going to college. DH and I held our breath for a very long time, while DS had been around the world by the time he was 19. Of course, he had a job and a place to sleep, granted on a supertanker.

His walkabout gave him a great education about what "Home" is all about, how people live in the big wide world and I think set him up to be a very independent human being. What I'll never stop admiring is that he did it all as a very shy only child. I wish he had your son's gift of making friends.

It was a long time ago, and all we got were postcards every month or so, no phone calls at all as I recall.

He eventually went to Engineering School, also got an MBA, now has short hair (in fact balding a bit) and runs his own business.

I'm going to put him in touch with these thread about Scruffman, I think he will be very interested.

God Bless you for what you are doing to make the world a better place, by sending out a well prepared emissary. and God Bless him for what he is doing.

Makes you kind of happy to hear a story like this. I'm certainly hooked.

Well, I still hope that Scruffy makes it to Paris sooner or later, but the Netherlands is a great place to settle for awhile. I don't know anyone who has never been tempted to live there, at least temporarily.

I know there will be a lot of naysayers about this, but I would not worry too much about overstaying the Schengen visa exemption rules with a North American passport.

Thanks for keeping us up to date on Scruffman! I hope that you will let us know when he publishes his book. I'll be first in line to buy a copy.

I suppose that if I actually meet him in Paris, I should not breathe a word about these threads.

nelsonian - well, it's good to know he's not alone.

live42day - it's couchsurfing.org - you need to do some planning in advance, to fill out the profile in detail and get some friends to join and write up reviews about what a great person you are. Then, of course, you must correspond with people until you find a willing host. Your middle son's adventure would really have kept me up at night! I'll just have to worry about mine when/if he gets to Africa....

taconictraveler, I've got to get everybody away from thinking I'm brave. I don't, in the end, really have a choice. It's his money and his decision. I am trying to help out, because as long as he's going to do it, I'd like it to be a success and not a disaster. But thanks for appreciating my role in creating an ambassador to the world.

irishface, you know I'll be back here to plug it!

kerouac, the timeline has been pushed back a bit, so it's possible he'll come (1) through Paris (2) after the 20th, with both of those parts being entirely up in the air at the moment. He has a friend in Paris to stay with, so that is extra incentive to at least make a stop. I'd love to have someone meet up with him and let me know how he's doing, plus from what I know of you, I think you two would really enjoy each other. And then everyone would get another perspective on him as well.

I don't want him to overstay because he'll want/need to come back through Europe on his way home and I don't want him to have problems with that. Plus, his India visa expires in early April, so if he wants to go there, now's the time.

I will be back in the next day or so to post about his current plans, to the extent I have a clue about them - or even he has a clue about them!

<<I suppose that if I actually meet him in Paris, I should not breathe a word about these threads.>>

Actually, I've told him I'm writing it up and that he has a "fan club" - I've counted over 60 people who've checked in at some point, many of you several times. He seemed somewhat amused by the idea. I've done more serious amateur travel-writing on another site, so it's possible he thinks it's more of that. I still haven't told him about his nickname, though.

Artsnletters: I know you don't think you're brave, but in my view it is your REACTION to his DECISION that enables him to become the ambassador -- and that reaction is what I admire so much.
I'll bet there are a lot more than the 60 people who have actually posted about Scruffman who are cheering him on at this point!!

"I've done more serious amateur travel-writing on another site" - aren't you going to give us the link?

This is the Scruffman's thread!

But OK: http://www.igougo.com/profile/viewer.aspx?MemberID=30569

This stuff is getting old, I haven't had money to travel far in a long time.

I should have added, you will quickly notice that I am a much more genteel traveler than my son.

I saved the link to read as soon as I have a chance but you shouldn't make excuses for being yourself.

I'm off on a trip to (I'm not sure where? But the plane lands in frozen Atlanta!) somewhere tomorrow but I'll be back on the 18th, so if Scruffy is on the way to Paris, that will be great. I'm having a Thai dinner with other unknown internet people on the 21st (one of whom is a renowned published writer of spy thrillers), just before they leave for 6 weeks in Greece, so it would be fabulous if he was in town then.

Haha, kerouac, if you knew me well you would know I never make excuses for being myself. It's just that I don't have tales of sleeping under overpasses or in former bars.

I hope he makes your dinner - that sounds like a very interesting group of people. Although I'm sure he will be the scruffiest person at the table!

Hello artsnletters! I can sure appreciate how you missed your Greg during the Christmas Season and can imagine how happy you were were to receive his phone call on Jan. 5th. He is sure having a lot of experiences, more than my stepson had but he had enough to turn my hair gray when I heard about them after he returned home, lol. Safe and happy travels are wished for "our scruffman" and thanks for keeping us up to date with his adventures.

LoveItaly, thanks for your warm thoughts.


kerouac, check your e-mail - the Scruffman is headed your way, ETA next Wednesday or Thursday!

Okay, will do.

kerouac, I received your e-mail and replied. Please let me know if you don't receive it. Thanks!

Add me to the list of followers! As taconictraveler said there are more people than the ones who have posted who are following the Scruffman. I saw the first thread and am so glad he is doing well. I will be looking forward to the Scruffman and kerouac in Paris!

Psst! Here's some juicy gossip: Our friend kerouac will be dining with the Scruffman tomorrow evening!

Well, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Now that we have spoken on the phone, he might find some excuse to be unavailable.

ooooh, can't wait for the 3rd party report. : )

kerouac, he wouldn't dare back out. I only told him about 15 times to call you. I figure, I've been so helpful and supportive, he has to humor me every once in a while!

Rendezvous now confirmed. I will soon provide bank account details for those who want to subscribe to information about Scruffy's adventures in Paris.

So, is the Scruffster aware of his celebrity? Can he parlay it into something profitable to extend his journey?

Will kerouac keep him on the road? Stay tuned.....

Oh, yes, Kerouac, I'll sign up for a subscription of "The excellent madcap adventures of Kerouac and Scruffman's in Paris". I can see it being made into a movie, directed by James Cameron. Sort of a cross between "Avatar" and Orwell's "Down and Out in Paris and London".

peterboy, I did tell him he has a fan club, but I didn't tell him he has a nickname. It would be great if he could figure out a way to make some money from it NOW - I'm concerned that, with the cost of transportation, he's going to have to come home after Nepal. Even $1000 would make a big difference, given how little it's costing him to get by on land. If anyone has any ideas, please feel free to offer them!

nukesafe, I absolutely want to see that movie!

It's kind of cool to think that kerouac and the Scruffman are eating and conversing at this moment! As you all have had the vicarious pleasure of his adventure, I'll have the vicarious pleasure of a visit of a few hours with him - it is certainly months away before I'll have that opportunity again.

I was amused to read that Jack Kerouac began his
novel 'On the Road' in french but later wrote and
completed it in english.

I've been reading the adventures of Scruffman from the start and am loving it!

With regards to earning $$$, has the Scruffman looked at www.matadortravel.com? It's a travel site geared towards the young and adventurous. I really couldn't recommend it to anyone looking for serious information but it is interesting. The articles are all submitted by random contributors and they pay $25 for each one. It's not much, but it might get the Scruffman started and connected to the travel writing community.

Are you familiar with the soultravelers3? It's a family motorhoming around Europe for the last 3 years or so. I think it started out as just an online journal but their blog has won lots of awards and I imagine some of those are cash prizes. I don't know where the Scruffman would find the time to write a blog. It sounds like his adventures keep him pretty busy!

I've been lurking about this thread for a while, but you can now add me to your list of readers, artsnletters. Don't know why I'm exicted about Scruffman and kerouac's dinner...but I am! Looking forward to kerouac's report!

Post-Scruffwoman and I (the mom) are following this further episode in Scrufftales with great interest.

We are doing a blog of our own now...Mother Daughter Can Can. This may sound as if it has something to do with Paris, but is actually the true-life adventures of two innocent broads in a kitchen, divided only by a generation,60 miles and massively different personality types. Yes, we are learning about canning and preserving, the gentle arts my mother (who screwed up boiled potatoes) never taught us.

Even Scruffpeople eventually come home and get hungry.

Dinner was excellent.

kerouac, I certainly hope you have more to say about it that that!

Yea, Kerouac...we want details.

actually, it was only that 'dinner was excellent'....

I think the qeuestion we are all interested in is...

'how was the company ?'

surfmom, I had that thought too - maybe it was only the food that was great?

I'm sure kerouac will be back tomorrow or shortly thereafter to tell us at least a little more.

Yes, please, you must be patient for, say, about 12 hours.

I am waiting with bated breath also!!

where are the spelling police ? they should be giving nelsonian a blue ribbon ? most people used 'baited breath' and I got this horrible visualization of worm breath. well done!

I think kerouac will purposely be 'busy' today and not poste for a awhile since he knows all these cyber-followers can't wait for the gory details.

I have been reading this aloud to my almost 17 year old son. We both are anxious to hear how dinner went!

I second the blue ribbon for nelsonian and LOL surfmom for worm breath!

I received a long e-mail this morning from the Scruffman, and because I've got to go to work but this piece belongs before his dinner with kerouac, I'm going to copy most of it in with minor edits and a bit of commentary for you. Also, I'm feeling a bit emotional about it.

“I found myself in the trees”

Leaving Holland was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I didn't get any sleep the last night because about thirty or forty people kept flowing through the Couch to say goodbye. Honestly, I consider myself one of the luckiest people alive to have such a good home in [our hometown] and so many good friends and family alike, but when I walked out the door of the Couch it felt like I had left home for the second time

Earlier this week, one of the Scruffman’s great Leiden friends drove him to the Lappersfort Tree Occupation on the outskirts of Brugge, Belgium. The Occupation is a collection of 20-30 treehouses and a massive fortress built mainly out of pallets, all designed to be near impossible to get people out of.

The tree occupation is in protest not only of the destruction of the forest in which it resides, but also the landowners’ plans to build the second largest “damn,” as the Scruffman put it in probably Freudian terms, in the world in Brazil which will flood an area of the Amazon lager than Belgium. Needless to say, this will displace many local indigenous tribes, fishermen, and of course endangered species and trees.

Thus I learned to climb trees with harness and press-hooks and slept about 100 feet up in an oak tree for several days. The world looks much different from the top, and this was a village seemingly suspended in air. Bridges and zip lines connected the houses. I couldn't help but draw comparisons to the Ewok village of Star Wars fame. Lappersfort has 0existed on and off since 2002 but is expected to be evicted in the coming weeks. I can only hope that somehow it will live on, truly a special place....

A few days ago I woke up in a tree, rappelled down, picked up my bag, headed to the road, and raised my thumb. That evening I was in Paris. How strange it was to re-emerge into reality after a month of squat and tree dwelling!

In Paris, the Scruffman did “the normal tourist circuit,” Notre Dame, Ste-Chapelle, the Eiffel Tower, the Orsay, etc. - whatever that means to the Scruffman. He’s normally not a museum kind of guy, so it’s hard for me to guess what else he might have been persuaded to spend his money on. When I took him to Italy when he was 12, we saw only three museums: the Accademia in Florence because it is small, a walk-through of the Vatican Museum in Rome because at least the lavishness of it all can be absorbed quickly, and the Museo Archeologico in Naples – the last a sop to mom who wanted to see the Pompeii mosaics, but he enjoyed it because of the air conditioning in steamy August!

Today the Scruffman leaves by overnight bus to Florence to re-connect with a good friend who is studying there – hopefully also to reunite with his long-lost guitar - perhaps a slight different person.

Upon reflection among the trees I can sense certain transformations within myself. There was a time not long ago I believed that progress could be made by working within the system, but after watching the world's governments meet in Copenhagen and fail to commit to any kind of progress whatsoever to ... well ... SAVE THE F***ING WORLD, my fears have been affirmed. But in a sense I feel much more capable than before to rely on myself and thus live outside the system, and with any luck find more people and places like Leiden where it is possible to live outside the system.

I’ll let kerouac fill you in on their dinner, as the Scruffman contributed about it (probably because he knew kerouac would take care of the duties of dinner-reporting), except for some sentiments which are personal to me and a bit that’s personal to kerouac, which I will transmit privately. But he signed off:

Love,
THE SCRUFFMAN

I think it’s a fair guess that the Scruffman is not going to coming home and graduate with honors from Stanford. But perhaps he has a bigger role to fill.

Thanks for the long update. I've seen some tweets lately about travel as "experience" - it would be hard to think of more experiential travel than this. Go scruffman!

Hadn't checked in on him for a while - glad to hear things are going well for him.

Sounds like he met up with the Belgian cousins of the tree-sitters in Berkeley!

Evidently more people than one might think are still carrying on the hippie “back to the land” philosophy and living “off the grid”, so I think Scruffman can continue to find lots of company among like-minded people. They may not get a lot of attention from the mainstream press, but they are still out there. (Not that the hippies were the ones who invented it either, but it was when it seemed to become more of a sub-culture among middle-class people who intentionally chose the lifestyle.) The local health system that treated many commune-dwellers in the 70’s (when I was living in a community of political activists on a farm with no electricity, no plumbing, and a well for a water and a woodstove for heat) used to call us the “voluntary poor” – because we had quite different health and lifestyle issues than the “involuntary poor” for instance. In our day I guess one of the big motivating forces to leave the mainstream culture behind was the Vietnam War and the attendant alienation – today it is the environmental “war”.

I wish Scruffman the best as he continues in his own personal evolution and development of his values and look forward to hearing about his travels.

It appears that there is a certain interest in how I spent yesterday evening, so I will try to relieve some of your curiosity. It was already somewhat of an ordeal for Greg to call me, since public telephones in Paris do not accept coins and did not accept Greg’s credit card (probably due to the ‘chip’ problem). But he managed to call me not once but twice and a rendezvous was set up in the center of Paris at a café where I would also be meeting the other unknown parties.

I arrived early and sat at the (heated) terrace of the café to keep an eye on the traffic through the pedestrian zone. Five minutes before the designated hour, I saw a hirsute yet elegant young man walking along with hesitation. It just took a very small movement of my index finger to indicate to him that he had arrived at the proper location. His alertness and instant comprehension confirmed to me what artsnletters had told me about him.

He settled in and ordered a glass of Affligem in honor of his recent experiences in Belgium, and we began our conversation. I wanted to know if his mother had really ordered him 15 times to call me. The way he examined the floor confirmed this. “Uh, I figured I owed it to her.”

We then went into a period of minor chitchat about what he had been up to in Paris. He said he had actually spent some money that day, which was a big change from many other days, and he found the city quite interesting in its own quirky way. I received a certain amount of information on the goings on in the Netherlands and Belgium, included a few details not revealed to family circles. “I don’t want my mother to worry.” I assured him that one never reveals all of what happens to one’s parents and that’s the way it should be. Nevertheless, his revelations were so innocuous that it confirmed how young and innocent he still is and that his mother has nothing to worry about.

I was watching the street and spotted the other people and motioned to them. It was to be a strange evening, because I had never met them either but knew them from other internet sites, and it just happened that their overnight stay in Paris before flying to Greece was the same as Greg’s last night in Paris. Both are major world travelers with even more experience than I, so I had figured that it might make a useful encounter for Scruffy. The man is an author of international spy fiction, so perhaps we have a chance of appearing in one of his future works.

After finishing our drinks, we took the metro to Chinatown, which had no secrets for Greg, because that was exactly where he was staying, and he even showed us the building when we passed it. We settled into my personal canteen “La Lune” on Avenue de Choisy and ordered various items from a waitress who radiated unexpected hostility. There was a certain complication in finding the appropriate dishes for Greg, who is a quite hardcore vegetarian, and who claimed that he didn’t mind going hungry sometimes if there was nothing suitable to eat. I think that we other three may have avoided exchanging glances when he said that because they would have been along the lines of “oh, the folly of youth!” when we actually all admired his idealism.

During dinner, the conversation was animated and universal, with a certain travel orientation. The waitress had also suddenly become jovial, to the extent that we were wondering if it was the same person or if the first waitress was the evil twin of this nice one. The writer was able to give European hitchhiking tips to Greg which still sounded valid even if his experiences dated from… 55 years ago. Meanwhile, Greg showed us that not all of his research was totally accurate when he said that he was probably planning on staying in northern India after his flight from Italy because “I want to see the more relaxed part.” That caused all three of us to exclaim “but that’s southern India, not the north!” The author went into a vibrant defense of Goa while I concentrated on the joys of the region of Madras. This has perhaps caused a possible revision of Greg’s plans, but in any case we all agreed that the main thing in India is to go with the flow and to join anybody else with reasonable plans. The author's wife concentrated on the fact that the main thing about one's arrival in India the first time is how it totally overwhelms all of the senses in a way that one would never think possible, not all of it pleasant. (This is absolutely true.) In any case, I will certainly be fascinated to hear news of the Indian part of this adventure.

It was known by the others that I am not able to travel much these days due to a certain Dr. Alzheimer who is involved with my mother, even though she is in a nursing home, because of the fact that I have been unfailingly loyal to my obligations. So a few comments were made about the situation and the unexpected events which I must sometimes face. (Often they are hilarious, all things considered.)

This brought on a stunning panegyric by Greg regarding his loyalty to artsnletters and his undying devotion to her for a myriad of reasons. Firmly locked in his heart are all of the sacrifices that she has made over the years and the unfailing support that she has given him. It is she who has sparked his desire for justice and a life of discovery, and he knows that he would not be able to continue if he did not feel her love. Both of the others being parents, I think that their eyes may have become moist upon hearing this.

Totally satisfied with the meal, we left the restaurant and took a brief stroll through Chinatown. We took leave of the Scruffman at the relevant intersection and wished him the best in his future travels. (I confess that I did reveal to him his moniker because I knew it was inevitable that he would learn it sooner or later and it seemed better to bring it up in pleasant circumstances. His cheeks may have flushed briefly, but I think he found it amusing in the end and he said that he would tell his friends where to look for news of his adventures.) I certainly believe that he is a fine young man, and I know that the others felt the same.

His head is firmly on his shoulders, and there is nothing to worry about. At the moment, the most perfect place that he has found in the world is Leiden, but he is still discovering new things and looking forward to Asia as long as his travel funds hold out. When we asked what his next trip might be, he said “Leiden…. or South America!”

kerouac, that's a beautiful description of your time with Greg and of Greg himself (and his mother!). Thank you for satisfying our curiosity.

kerouac, now that's done it. I was already feeling weepy after reading what Greg wrote me this morning, and now you've started me up again!

Thank you so much for meeting him, and for writing such a kind and thorough account.

Boy, has this thread ever hit home! My two sons are blood brothers of Scruffy; both having "dropped off the grid", traveled the world from dumpster to squat, and are Vegan.

Sigh --

I love them both, and they have each carved themselves a valuable place in this world. I'm certain that your Son will do the same, Artsnletters.

This thread has evolved into a charming and beautiful story, which equally describes the participants and those who tell it.

AandL and Greg are a credit to each other.

Lets raise a glass to mothers and sons !

Safe travels on his further adventures.

M

I'll drink to that!

Kerouac, the toast I proposed to mothers and sons goes to you too - just so you know.
From my own experiences, I applaud your dedication.

M

Kerouac, thanks for the wonderful report of your evening with Greg and your other internet friends. Arts you must be incredibly proud of your son, and should be very proud of yourself for the way you have help shape his life and his ideals.

I too know what you are going through Kerouac with caring for your mother. Our travel is virtually non-existent for the same reason. We manage to get away for a night every couple of months to visit our grand-children but that's it.

Kerouac: thanks for taking the time to share your dinner experience in such detail. My eyes were welling up reading it. Thanks to you too artsnletters for continuing to share your son's journey. I can see why you are so proud of him.

"Chapeau bas!" - My hat is off to ArtsandLetters, to Scruffman and to Kerouac!! As a mother with a son, I applaud you all, and all our fodorites in similar situations, who are helping to bring friendship and kindness and value in to our needy world!

Well I am sure weepy. Your son is obviousl a fine young man, artsnletters, thank you for sharing his latest adventures. And your post regarding your evening with our Gregg was beautiful, kerouac, I can imagine how much your words have meant to his mother. And I send my best to you, your mother is so fortunate to have you for her son, you are a true blessing.

I, too, get emotional, just reading this. I am a single parent of two children and I know how difficult it is to raise them on my own (my husband passed away from cancer 9 years ago when both children were only 7 and 11). I hope I can do as good a job as you are artsnletters! I admire the Scruffman's drive. Kerouac, I always enjoy reading and seeing your photo essays. Thank you for sharing your evening with the Scruffman with us.

No news of our favorite voyager? Was Scruffy so traumatized by meeting the frightening Kerouac that he has broken all communication links?

kerouac, did you read my installment on Jan 22, shortly before your wonderful account of the Adventures of Scruffman and kerouac? That's the last really juicy info I received, the day after your dinner with him.

The Scruffman is currently in Italy, preparing for some serious intercontinental drift. I'm holding off to see if I hear anything more in the next day or so (or more likely not), but one way or the other I'll fill in what I can shortly. I'm likely to be living at work over the weekend (getting really tired of this, except that it's quite possible I'll be laid off next week), so may not get to it until the first of the week.

To all of you who have commented lately, thank you so much for your warm thoughts. I really appreciate them. I'm still feeling terribly emotional about this - the Scruffman's last e-mail was the most personal he has sent since he left home.

kkukura, so much depends on the raw material you get. The Scruffman was a very easy child for me to raise - maybe not for others. He wasn't school-oriented or driven. He was a very active child. But he and I were well matched temperamentally. We are very alike in many ways, and very very different in many ways, but not in ways that cause lots of friction. He looks tremendously like his father and very little like me - in fact I can't really see myself in him physically at all - but he is so completely unlike his father in temperament, interests, personality. If his father were still alive, he would have no idea what to do with this unconventional, creative, passionate young man.

I will however give you my two main tenets of child-rearing:

1. My job is not to make my child who I want him to be. My job is to help him be who he is.

2. The way to hold onto your child forever is to love him with all your heart and let him go.

I also love this from Kahlil Gibran's On Children:

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark on the path of the infinite,
and he bends you with his might
that his arrows may go swift and far.

Hmmm.
Sound philosophy, and then some sage advice from one of my favourite poems.
I couldn't agree more.


M.

Yes, a'n'l, of course I have read every word that you have wirtten. I just thought that he would have some impressions of Italy before the big jump.

kerouac, I only wondered if you'd missed it. I know I have your attention - you've been one of the Scruffman's most dedicated fans since the very beginning.

If I don't hear something substantive from him tomorrow, I doubt I'll hear another word about Italy until he gets home, if then. But I will share at least what little I have!

> except that it's quite possible I'll be laid off next week

I so hope that doesn't happen, artsnletters!

Me too, kja.

I bought lotto tickets this week. Might as well!

I sent you a photo of the Scruffman for your examination.

Oh, please, artsnletters, can we see, too?

I'm checking my e-mail every 5 minutes (at work no less, shame on me!) but still waiting for it to arrive. When it comes, maybe I can post it to my profile.

Actually, I'll stick one of him there right now that I have - it will be immediately obvious that it's the Scruffman, but NOT the Scruffman in Paris.

Temporary Scruffman photo in place, until I get the photo from kerouac.

I think I am in your spam filter.

I have resent the photo with a different email.

It just appeared. I'm trying to decide if that wink isn't maybe a little mischievous? I'm about to post it on my profile page, so you can all let me know what you think. (Those not in the know will now think I'm a young male hippie.)

But honestly, it's a great photo. That's my boy!

I can see that his fashion sense has evolved a bit - and I mean that seriously. It's one of the things about him that I find weird. He does have a certain style - I guess I see a bit of why you described him as "elegant." As mentioned before, he looks very, very much like his father, and his father was the world's biggest dork. Whatever a person would make of Greg, he's NOT a dork.

Other comments for the peanut gallery: He's also grown a more comprehensive beard, not just the goatee he left home with, and he looks to be in good flesh, so I know he has been getting enough to eat. When he was out of work for several months, he decided to economize by not eating and became a skeleton, and I know what that looks like on him!

(That episode came to an end when I took a look at him with his sunken cheeks and my hair stood on end. I went out and bought $200 worth of high-nutrient groceries and told him he had to eat, that otherwise he would be eating out of my pocket because I could not bear to see him looking like that. He discovered, once he began eating again, that his disposition improved remarkably - !!)

Thank you so much, kerouac, for passing this on.

I'm not sure why, but the previous photo of Scruffman on a mountaintop is still showing. Perhaps there's a delay? Anyway, I hope it will show up soon in its proper place!

Scruffman in Paris now on display!

He looks just as I imagined, artsnletters! What a great expression. His email and K's account of the Paris meeting really are treasures, very insightful & touching.

What a great photo!

Thanks to both of you for the visual. He looks really happy!

Great photo! Now I can put an image to the way I imagine him. This will help me vicariously share his adventures as he continues his odyssey.

You are going to continue to give us updates, aren't you?

Yup, Italy update coming soon, and then we'll have to shift forums. As long as I'm hearing from you, I'm afraid you'll be hearing from me.

I love this! Scruffman reminds me a lot of my son. In his beliefs (and appearance). Once I asked him why he was (is) this way and he looked surprised and said, "Because of you, of course!" Which took me aback I must say. I wish he could have had some of your son's adventures.

Looking forward to the next installment!

Artsnletters: We will keep following SCRUFFMAN and you, so let us know if you change forums! Thanks for the photo, and waiting for more. this is a lovely story.

If you change forum, could you please post the link to the new thread here for us? That would make finding it easier.

Yes, thanks for the photo. I had imagined him, well, scruffier... What a cute young man. An intelligent and sensitive face. Shame I am more than twice his age... (No worries, he'd find me totally boring even if I was 20, LOL.)

AnL:
I noticed your question on the India forum entitled "Flying Thru India without a visa?)
Is that for the Scruffman?
It's a pity if he's thinking about missing India (a far richer cultural experience than Nepal IMHO) (Although I'd personally prefer Nepal's mountains I've imagined him more into people's cultures-ways-of-being).
Is there not some way he could get a visa?

That is a great picture! And yes, artsnletters, please do give us a heads up if you switch forums. I'd hate to miss out on the rest of Greg's journey!

The Scruffman has a vertical visit to Florence and finds serendipity in Milan

The Scruffman took the overnight bus from Paris to Florence, leaving behind his new friend Kerouac and the joys of the City of Light. In Florence, he was finally reunited with his friend who is studying architecture in Florence this year. For some time he hadn’t been able to reach Russell, and it wasn’t clear if they were going to connect before he had to leave. This was troubling in part because I had mailed the infamous guitar to Russell at his school, lo those months ago.

Unfortunately, the guitar has not yet made it to Russell’s hands. Greg reported that it was hung up at customs and, try as they could, they could not shake it loose in time for him to carry it onward. While I’m sure Greg will miss his guitar, which he may be lucky to get back once he gets home, and his iPod, which was in the guitar case, my great sadness is that his camera cable was also in the bag, and despite my instructions to go buy a new one, I will bet dollars to doughnuts he didn’t. He had reported that his flash card was about full three or four weeks ago, so I’m afraid he isn’t going to come home with many photos of his many new friends.

His first day in Florence, they began by going to La Specola, the Museum of Zoology and Natural History . This involved many animals preserved with taxidermy, plus wax replicas of human corpses, all over 100 years old. Somehow this one never made it onto my list of must-sees in Florence! He reported he was getting ready to go the Uffizi. This is really not the sort of museum I can picture him enjoying. I wrote and asked him, how did he find all those scores of Madonnas-with-child? However, he almost never answers any questions I ask him until I ask them the fourth or fifth time, in bolded capital letters, and then it's usually just a few words. (On one occasion, I sent ORDERS to respond to four important questions, and got back an e-mail reading in its entirety: "Okay, yes, yes, I dunno.") So this will remain a mystery for many months more.

In general, the Scruffman’s experience of Florence was very, um, vertical.

He took in the evening view from Piazzale Michelangelo. At some point during his stay, he and Russell also hiked up to a massive and ”quite spectacular” graveyard. On a day when the sun was out, he decided to take a hike around the hills of Florence and check out the Boboli Gardens. "I really wasn’t expecting to be very impressed by manmade nature, but I must admit that I was quite moved. If you look at the gardens as a building as opposed to a garden it is really quite spectacular, not to mention the unbelievable views from the top. WOW!”

Another day, he and Russell woke early and took the bus to Fiesole. I’ve heard lots about the Roman theater and so forth, but did Greg go to see these things? Nope. Because most of the stone to build Florence was quarried in Fiesole, there are many caves carved into the hillsides, and this is what they had come for. They paid particular attention to the ones taped off and labeled “do not enter,” as he reported that these were the areas of interest. Scofflaws!

Feeling stressed out about his lack of preparation for India, he spent one day walking all over Florence, mapless, getting as lost as possible. When he returned to Russell’s, he found a huge e-mail from his couchsurfing host from Oslo, one of the half-dozen people he has met in his wanderings whom he now considers a lifelong friend, giving him ”tons of useful tips for getting through the first few days. There was info on hostels, guesthouses, transportation, food, and overall the hustle (negotiating prices). I feel much better now.”

All in all, he found Italy quite relaxing – until it was time to leave.

His departure day from Florence to Milan was the day when almost everything went horribly wrong, but then somehow didn’t. The bus he was to take left outside of Florence, and by the time he got to the bus stop, he was already five minutes late, and couldn’t "for the life of me find the bus stop – it was on a huge four way highway intersection with a roundabout ... pure chaos!" (Note: Mom had told him about three times that the bus stop was not in downtown Florence and to ask about this when he bought his ticket, but then … the Scruffman is not a practical or detail-oriented guy.) He finally found the stop, but ended up waiting alone for about 45 minutes before the bus finally came - "good thing it was Italy (where nothing happens on time)." By the time he got to Milan, it was 11:30 at night and snowing. Then, because the driver didn’t speak English, he couldn’t figure out where the bus was going to drop him, so he couldn’t plan a route to his host’s home. Fortunately, he was dropped off next to the Cadorna Metro (which I also told him, but why remember everything in that e-mail …), which was on the exact line he needed. Then, the buzzer was broken on the apartment building, but luckily a couple English-speaking people who lived there let him in and took him to his host’s apartment – but not before taking him to the apartment of someone else with the same name. (Boy, that must be confusing for the postman!) Finally, he was bedded down for the night.

Crazy, but wonderful, Italy.

As I write, the Scruffman is on an EgyptAir flight to Mumbai, via Cairo - $435 one-way. Boy, this would have been absolutely impossible to manage just a few years ago!

Total expenditures to date, about $2,500 since the end of September, including airfare.

Anyway, he will arrive tomorrow. So this story will take up in a new thread on the Asia forum, once I have news to report. I will post a link to the next thread as soon as I set it up.

elbegewa, not to worry. He has a visa good until April 6, and yes he is hoping to see Nepal. I'm thinking ahead about how he will go (1) Kathmandu to Bangkok and (2) Bangkok to Istanbul, if that ends up being the route he chooses, and both of those routes appear to involve plane changes in India.

Just in case you want to fill in the details without waiting for months, I suspect the cemetery was the one behind San Miniato al Monte, quite near Piazzale Michelangelo. There's a photo at the following link (scroll down) that gives an idea.

http://www.sacred-destinations.com/italy/florence-san-miniato-al-monte

About that full flash card - I used to have mine dumped to CD. Shouldn't be that expensive in India - any Internet cafe or photo store should be able to do it. (I had a second CD cut so I could keep one until the first one was reported to have arrived in the US, but know that won't fly!)

Personally, I just make sure I have extra flash cards when I travel (they have become quite cheap) since they take up absolutely zero space and weigh nothing.

<<I had imagined him, well, scruffier...>>

Well, he does have the world's ugliest dreads covered by a scarf (well, it's possible they look better now than they did four months ago). I'm surprised his beard is so neat - he has a beard trimmer at home, but it's electric so he didn't take it. I thought he might be working a big Santa-style beard.

And of course he may have tidied up for the big dinner so I didn't get a bad report about him.

The whole "scruffy" thing started because I thought he might give the impression of the sort of shiftless, social-support-draining ne'er-do-well the Brits don't want to let in, but really he is a charmer and didn't have a problem in the end.

<<What a cute young man.>>

Thanks for saying that - I think so too, but then I'm partial.

Just received a brief e-mail from the Scruffman letting me know he landed safely in Mumbai.

Yay! Now the "real" adventure begins!

Just received a brief e-mail from the Scruffman letting me know he landed safely in Mumbai.>>

is that relief that you are feeling, artsnletters, or trepidation at what he may get up to now he's arrived?

I feel your pain, though in a slightly less extreme version - my own "scruffboy" went off on the train [for anything other than a short journey] by himself for the first time on Friday, and despite delays and weather "issues" managed to get himself home again last night.

phew!

looking forward to hearing more of the adventures of Scruffman,

regards, ann

annhig, I'm not really worried about him at all. He's got money to come home if things go awry. He's always landed on his feet. I think there will be a period of adjustment, as India is quite different from Europe, but I know he'll make the shift pretty quickly.

My problem is that he doesn't write often enough - not because I worry about what he's up to, but because I'm curious!

I think that spending time in squats and spending as little money as possible in the previous month will be a major aid to adjusting to Indian conditions. What may come as a surprise to him is that most Indians will still consider him to be immensely wealthy, so of course certain elements will try every ruse possible to separate him from his money.

One rule that I do believe in following in India is not to accept an offer of tea or any other beverage from totally random strangers. Many travelers have awakened hours later with absolutely no possessions. With a little luck, Scruffman has a good 6th sense that will inform him of possibly dodgy situations.

kerouac, I hope you told him that when you met? I've wondered whether he's prepared to be as careful of potential swindles as he might be. He had a very consistently warm and fuzzy experience of Europe and may not encounter so uniform of response in India.

As others have said - and I too feel, this is where his adventure will really begin.
Barring anything untoward befalling him, I hope he will be touched and moved by what he sees and experiences. I sense Goa naturally calling to him, but there are a myriad of other areas to experience as well, particularly south India (Kerala). Let him know too that many of the sikh temples offer free basic (but tasty) vegetarian lunches every day and its an amazing communal experience to attend one (or more).

Did you say he was going to Africa as well ? Its a short flight to East Africa from India and there are some cheap flights to be had if the timing's right.

M

Yes, at dinner we tried to tell him that southern India was what would appeal to him, but for some reason he thought it was northern India that would be calmer and more laid back. I figure that he will meet other travelers his own age in Mumbai who will set him straight and not have to rely on questionable information from 3 codgers in Paris.

In any case, there is little pre-India advice that can prepare anyone for the immensity of the experience.

It doesn't look to me like his funds will hold out for Africa unless he figures out a way to make a little money on his way. If my work situation stabilizes, I might try to cobble up a bit for him, but right now I'm more likely to lose my job than start feeling secure in it. The visa situation seems possibly problematic as well. He only has a visa for India, and he dawdled so long about that that I had to mail his passport to him in New York after he had left. It looks like he might be able to get into Kenya without one. I know he doesn't need one for South Africa, but it doesn't seem possible to fly there without a stop and change of airline (and ticket) in Nairobi. Cost of airfare is what's really eating into his funds. On the ground he spends almost nothing.

Thanks to those of you offering tips for India. I will be sure to pass them on.

I love so many Fodors stories but this is seriously one of my all time favorites. I am not a Mom but have a soon-to-be divorced sister with an amazing 10 year old son, and I plan on forwarding her links to this. I would love for my nephew to have even a fraction of adventures similar to Scruffman's. I just finished reading Shantaram so am very excited to hop over to Asia and see how things are going in Mumbai!

I should mention, artsnletters, that one of my sons swears by Goa. He and his lady do Christmas markets in Germany each holiday season. They work their tails off for about six months a year organizing, setting up and tearing down the markets and then head for Goa to unwind with what they say is the most wonderful Vegan food on the planet. They practice their yoga, lay on the beach and, I'm sure, pollute their bodies with all sorts of chemicals --- but they love it. I'm sure Greg will, too, if he manages to get down there.

Artsnletters, one of my friends is an artist and spends a month away each year, volunteering in developing countries. Last year she was in the fistula hospital in Addis Ababa. Received this yesterday. She also travels "on the smell of an oily rag" and embraces the people of the world in a most wonderful manner. The way the universe works, I wouldn't be at all surprised if Slavica & Greg's paths cross. I'm picturing his reaction to scenes similar to these:

"Dear All

I am now back in Delhi full moon and all and getting ready to catch an early morning train to Deradun at the foot hills of the Himalayas.

Have just arrived back for a couple of days in Japuir the pink city made from sandstone; where rugged mountains surround the city, rocky out crops of pink rock and dry arid landscape transport me elsewere.

We spent the days browsing in the old city wandering and getting lost searching for those elusive treasures that surface in old dusty lanes and hidden stall holders.
Monkeys clamour to lofty roof tops above the city streets watching us passing by and seem to claim the best vantage points.

We found some escape from the busy streets in a roof top cafe that we discovered but as we were led through a labyrinth of stair cases and dimly lit rooms with rather exotic pictures of couples we were not sure if this rather quiet place doubled as a brothel at night.

We however reached the rooftop without any questions been asked and settled for a while looking at the city streets below and the mountains in the distance. Above us kites flew over the city; small colured squares simple shapes floating above us that showed no sign of any ownership, they simply drifted in the sky circling with the wind and the flying hawks. In some ways I felt a little like the kites; circling around the city without rhyme or particular reason but of course occasionally gathering tugs from all directions for attention by the locals.

Amidst the chaos there is always glimpses of beauty; bags of colured pigments that appear at the corner of your eyes , marigolds and roses threaded in full garlands gathered high near temples, bright yellow and orange rice sweets piled so high they themselves become mountains and always saris beautiful saris of every imaginable colour.
We decided to have our palms read; as you do when you are in India. A rather serious looking doctor of Astrology measured our hands and looked at the lines of our palms. Soon our personalities and future unfolded. Some comments were remarkable accurate and other predications left wide open, leaving many optionsat our doorsteps; not unlike our driver who has continued riding on the roads in no particular lane preferring straight down the middle with his options open.

Our driver has been a kind-hearted man form the village where we stayed. His name was Ayub and as we found out in the village had a nickname which happened to be
" mental" apparently he is little crazy. He is simple in nature with not great english. We ask questions he repeats them as if he has answered it. We try a different version and again like an obedient parrot he repeats again, he then utters a few words and we go around in circles with no conclusion. He then leads us into a conversation which is totally irrelevant to our original question and so it goes on.

We dance around like this in and all to familiar dance back and forth with a few words here and there. Somehow we manage to get to where we are going much to our own surprise. Somehow we give in and accept this little tango. If we sit in silence for a while and then ask the question again sometimes just out of the blue we get an answer. We suddenly make contact. Ayubs favourite saying is " No Problem" it seems a favourite saying fo all of India as to " Anything is Possible.

So until my next dance on Indian transport to get to me to the mountains I will sign off. The lady in the internet has just worshipped one of the many gods and waved a huge bundle of incense in the room I am slowly about to pass out although it is a sweet fresh fragrance that is refreshing form the streets of Delhi."

Bokhara, that makes me want to write Greg and tell him, go to Jaipur! He loves rock-climbing, so I imagine that alone would appeal, but it sounds fantastic. Slavica definitely has a way with words. There seems so much serendipity in the world, and so much resonant vibrating of certain spirits, that it wouldn't surprise me if they ran into each other. (And no, I'm not one of those New-Agers.)

Just had an e-mail from West's mother (West was Greg's hitchhiking companion across the United States and is still scruffing around the east coast - spent three months in the northeast (most recently staying in a communal space known as the Nut House) and is now in North Carolina, with plans to head for Florida before too long and to return to the Bay Area at the end of summer. West's mom mentioned that "Like Greg, he has a charm and kindness that engenders amazing generosity and a distinct lack of strife and 'trouble.'" They both really are extraordinary fellows. I just hope they can hang on to their youthful idealism and find good places in the world in which to do their important work.

Artsnletters, I could give you Slavica's email address for Greg if you drop me a line at bokhara77athotmaildotcom. I know they'd have a great sympatico if it happened that they did meet.

' "Like Greg, he has a charm and kindness that engenders amazing generosity and a distinct lack of strife and 'trouble.'" They both really are extraordinary fellows. I just hope they can hang on to their youthful idealism and find good places in the world in which to do their important work'

Your comments pique something I've been thinking about apropos those "kids" of all ages who have difficulty fitting into the expected moulds at school and afterwards. There's a thread on 20somethings still finding themselves on the Lounge just now. Some of these folk are not going to fit happily into the "Corporate suit" literally or metaphorically. Yet those attributes which set them apart and make them an awkward fit in many, if not most, traditional business careers, are often the very same values/appearances/attributes which make them tailor made for work with people in societies with a different world view. These societies might be on our own doorsteps or scattered around the world, but an important and common thread is the difficulty professionals can have in gaining the trust essential to help. Their open manner and genuine interest isn't hindered by their dress or mannerisms as it can be when most of us step outside our usual niches. And just as importantly to bring some of the positive attributes & values of "developing", marginalised and fringe societies into the "mainstream" society in which many of us dwell.

Imagine the alchemy if the skills "The Scruffman" & his compatriots employ to get around the world were put to use in solving some of the problems and enhancing the communication & understanding between those marginalised by geography or other factors and we who think we live in the epitome of a civilized society.

Bokhara, it's taken me a while to post here again because I wanted to give your last post the attention I feel it deserves.

So many people who value "hard" careers - business types, engineers, medical personnel, etc. - forget that, first, many people don't have the aptitude for those jobs, and second, that there are many other very useful functions that people can serve who have a different set of talents and a different kind of intelligence. Even the artistic types: would any of us want to live in a world with no art, no music, no fiction or poetry? Van Gogh sold what, two paintings in his lifetime? Would our world be richer if he had given up and gone into some other line of work?

"People" people will never make the money that the people with "hard" skills do, so they will never have as pretty of lives, but we need them and their gifts. As our economy becomes increasingly global, we will need people who can communicate and relate to a wider range of people, who can walk through the financial district or a slum with equal comfort and speak to whomever they encounter there, who can relate equally to a fellow-countryman or someone from the other side of the world, in our land or theirs. The world's becoming a smaller place, and someone like Greg will be more able to circumnavigate it than those who take the more conventional path of college-business suit-career.

It's worth my adding that both Greg and his friend West, who is so similar to him, have both been self-supporting and independent since they were 18. They don't expect to be taken care of. They are comfortable living close to the ground, their material wants are few, their imagination and energy and love are boundless. You could not wish for better friends, or for better people to walk the earth with you.

Because they are not bounded by conventional expectations, the world has far more possibilities for them than most of us can see - and those possibilities are not just personal, but also global. I wish there were more like them.

And now I will close this chapter, and open another:

http://www.fodors.com/community/asia/the-scruffman-chronicles-the-scruffman-in-india.cfm

Hope to see you all there!

Arts, and who is to say that those of us who live more simply than the moguls with money don't have as pretty a life as they do? If you mean that we don't have a home that would grace the cover of a magazine or clothes that would fit a magazine, you are right. However, we have time to stop and marvel at the small beauties around us each day. Watching the earth come back to life after winter, feeling a cat go nose to nose with you, smelling all those things that make up each season, hearing a child exclaim, "Oh, I get it!" after you have spent hours trying different approaches to get across a concept needed for the next step in the curriculum, sitting on the grass watching the light change minute by minute in the garden, watching a poppy bud open to a full flower, hearing and seeing the excitement of a child as s/he shouts, "OH, Miss___ (or Aunt)come see_____!"

Your Greg will get all of this and so much more. He will contribute to the world in many ways. He is truly a young man of whom you can be very proud! Thanks for sharing him with us!

Just topping this in case anybody missed the transfer to the Asia forum, where the Scruffman is still having interesting adventures:

http://www.fodors.com/community/asia/the-scruffman-chronicles-the-scruffman-in-india.cfm