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The Adventure Morphs.. Sarge56 leaving Italy

The Adventure Morphs.. Sarge56 leaving Italy

Old Jun 8th, 2013, 08:50 AM
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The Adventure Morphs.. Sarge56 leaving Italy

After four weeks here, I am going home.

I am not disappointed. Neither am I depressed, dejected, deflated, nor despondent.

I am resigned. The dream is not over- it just has morphed into a more manageable (emotionally) dream. One that cannot be taken in a whole chunk, but must be pieced out, as is a good cheesecake.

After all my hard work the last four years; trials and tribulations; two steps forward and one step back; frustration; paperwork; tears and exultations.. I was sure this was my penultimate dream.

Alas, I cannot remove the image of saying good-bye to my 3-1/2-year-old grandson; his sweet face and cherry-red cheeks; and his complete lack of understanding as to why I was crying and hugging him extra tight. He surely thought he’d be seeing me next week or so.

After four of my grandkids Skyped on my birthday, I realized it just wouldn’t do. As much as it is, and always will be, my beloved Rome, my beloved Italy… it cannot compare to holding my granddaughter on my lap as she reads to me the new book I just brought her; the baking cookies, trips to the aquarium, shoe shopping; the laughter and giggles and looks on their faces when they ask, “What’s for dinner?” and I reply, “Hippopotamus feet and bicycle seats.”

I have decided I need the field trips and school plays; visits to the zoo and birthday cookouts. There will be time enough for Rome, and Italy, in longer stays. I will look toward getting some consulting work, so that I can take four weeks at a time once or twice a year. This will have to do. And I think it will.

I feel a bit like Dorothy Gale. I went looking for Oz, but when I found it (and, coincidentally- when the monkeys started tearing out my stuffing!), all I could think of was Auntie Em.

So, now I will be spending the remainder of this 4-week “trip” sucking in what I can, to hold in my memory until I return. And I will return. I like to think Italy needs me as much as I need her. But I know my grandkids do (especially the two who were recently abandoned by their mother [another story, another day]). This is right for all of us. And I am happy. And I hope you all will be happy for me, too.

(With sincere apologies to those who were living vicariously through me…)

I did get a lot in on this “trip” and promise to write a trip report in the next couple weeks, with hundreds of pictures to post too.

Thank you, so much, to all of you who cheered me on and supported me in this dream. And to those of you who still support me, knowing that I know what is right for me. And finally, to those still chasing the dream and those living their dreams. I smile when I think of the good friends I’ve found at Fodors.

Grazie mille!
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 09:00 AM
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Good luck sarge! Italy will always be there for you to visit.

The pull of family is a strong one and you are lucky to have these lovely grandchildren so it is completely understandable you'd want to be where they are.

Enjoy getting your Italy fix while it lasts this time. And I will look forward to the trip report and photos.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 09:07 AM
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I am happy for you.

You have shown great courage, not only have you dared to live your dream, but you have accepted that sometimes living a dream isn't necessarily the best thing for you.

Enjoy your precious grandchildren. They grow so fast.

I hope you manage to return to Italy again, when the time is right.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 09:13 AM
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sarge, I have to say when you described seeing your grandson before leaving (was it really already a month ago?), I thought you might change your mind. Say what you will about Skype, etc., there's nothing like being there in person. We have a friend whose son just returned from his 4th tour to Afghanistan. The soldier's son (about the age of your grandson) had come to think his daddy lived/existed inside his mommy's laptop, so when he was told his daddy had come home he ran to the laptop to find him.

I assume your cats never the States?
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 11:11 AM
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You had the courage to try to start a new life and you had the courage to figure out that it was not for you. I'm sure no one will mind you coming home. Sometimes it is nice to have a foot in two places and be able to spend time in both. I'm an aunt and I know it's hard for my parents to live so far away from my nieces. Enjoy your vacation in Rome.

But I'm also wondering about the cats.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 11:23 AM
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sarge, I am happy for you. You have shown great courage in going to Italy and for your decision to come home. How much you have learned about yourself! And yes, Italy will always be there but precious grandchildren grow up so quickly. I admire you and wish you very special adventures with your munchkins.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 11:43 AM
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Thanks, all. No, the cats did not come over. They were scheduled to be shipped in the next couple weeks. My daughter assures me they are fine, but will be delighted to see me.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 11:57 AM
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You have to go with your gut and your heart. Those heartstrings really do tug at you, I know.

At least you can say,"I gave it a shot. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but maybe one day."

Enjoy the time you have in Italy and buona fortuna! Ciao, bella.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 12:37 PM
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go for it
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 01:45 PM
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Good for you, Sarge - Texas needs every level head it can get!
Next GTG we expect lots of pictures and even more stories.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 03:06 PM
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Home is where the heart is and that is your family. You are blessed. Enjoy your trip and have a safe return. I look forward to the trip report since we will be going soon. I loved reading you descriptions of your days so far, thank you for that!
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 06:47 PM
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Nothing ventured, nothing gained! At least you gave it a shot and that is really all that matters. Many would not even venture that far. Enjoy all the things you have to look forward to at home and in the future.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 06:52 PM
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At least you gave it a go Sarge, that is what matters, and you came to the decision on your own without anyone making you feel quilty about moving to another country.

Grandchildren are precious and being close to them when they are young is important, well it is to me and obviously to you as well. As you say you will still be able to vacation there, and hopefully sometime introduce your grandchildren to your favourite places.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:15 PM
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I am so proud of you. VERY few people even take Step 1 towards their dream. You worked diligently to make it happen. Discovering where you'd rather be is just part of the journey. NOTHING wrong with that.

I moved cross-country when I needed/wanted a big change. My last image of was of "my" boy, covered in cream of wheat, standing on the steps waving goodbye, expecting me to return soon. I had delayed the move until after his 2nd birthday. I loved my year of adventure in a new place but realized I wanted to be back closer to him.

You'll take your grandkids to Italy and show them your loves. But you'll be there (home) to see them grow up.

Very proud of you.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:26 PM
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"Life's what happens while we're busy making othe plans".

You're just going with the ebb & flow of the lives of those important to you, Sarge. And good for you. Another time, another opportunity & perhaps you will be able to take your grandchildren with you sometimes. You're doing what you want to do with your life at this moment.

And that's the best any one of us can do, IMO.
Life changes, plans change, we change. We don't get a second go, so we may as well make the best we can out of this one.

All the best & I hope everything works out for you & yours.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:32 PM
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I am glad you are happy with your terrific new plan. Enjoy the rest of your time in Italy.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:44 PM
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Sarge - you've tested the waters, you know it can be done, and when things level out at home, you'll be able to do it again.

What about your house -- didn't you get it rented out?
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:55 PM
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The one and only downside of traveling the world...There is always someone or something really far away.

I'm glad you were able to make and fulfill your dreams, and so happy that you are coming home only because of love.

4 weeks a couple of times a year will still be a good thing!
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 07:58 PM
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It takes more guts to respect your real feelings than to try to prove something to yourself. imvho.

And as somebody who has relatively recently become a grandmother, the thought of voluntarily choosing to live across the ocean from my grandchildren is almost unfathomable.

Anyway, you should be really proud of yourself. You did what you needed to do, on so many levels.
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Old Jun 8th, 2013, 08:10 PM
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I'm also very proud of you! You did it! And now you can also decide to come back.

You've lost nothing. Although I was certainly one of the ones living vicariously through you!
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