Taking a reluctant traveller to Paris trip report

What a good idea to have a Turkish bath and massage after a long flight! I'll have to remember that. Looking forward to more of this report.

Great start, looking forward to hearing about the trip.

I'm hooked. I love that you gave your report some narrative interest by taking your non traveling friend.
The other thing I loved was seeing your apartment at the beginning of the post. That makes it so much more real to me. Keep it coming.

Like your friend, my sister cared not at all in advance of our recent Paris trip. But once we were there - WOW. She soaked it all in, but did read in her room instead of enjoying the view of Notre Dame that we had paid extra for. I will be waiting to see how your friend developed on this trip.

I corralled a very reluctant friend once into going to Paris and the Dordogne--called it the "Give France a Chance Tour"--and it worked out beautifully. She became a convert. I hope your story has a happy ending as well.

Enjoying the report!

Waiting for more!! I'm hoping your report will give me some ideas to get my reluctant DH to go back to Paris... it's got me hooked too. - many thanks.

waiting to hear more about reluctant travelers...

I can't wait for the rest. My only experience with a reluctant traveler to Paris was a total disaster. She saw and experienced only what she had imagined she would, and no experience to the contrary would change her mind. It was embarrassing, to say the very least.

I no longer travel with anyone I don't already know really, really well and with whose travel style I agree. I guess you can get lucky, but I sure didn't. Lesson learned.

Looking forward to reading the rest of the report!

More, please!

I'm waitng, too.

This is going to be interesting..............
Don't keep us waiting too long!

I admire your courage! If it were me, I'd rather go alone (which I've done many times).

It's fun to hear your stories, I hope mine turns out as positive.

Our first day, I walked our tails off. Some co workers had told her about the Orsay, and anything someone had told her about, I made sure we did. We first visited the Rodin, picked up a 2 day museum pass and then headed to the Orsay. She looked a little, but it was hard to gauge wether or not something interested her. I would ask if she would like to do this or that, and she would say o.k., So we went on to visit Musee de l'armee, tomb of Napoleon, etc. I left out churches because after her reaction to Notre Dame ( a few second glance), I knew churches were of no interest to her.

We made it to the Monoprix just off Rue Bonapart, and finally a glimmer of hope. She actually let me separate from her in the store. She was looking at clothing, soap, food, all of it. She is not a shopper, so this was a big surprise. She bought a few chocolate bars, some yogurt and some diet coke ( a friend told her, they once paid 9 euros for a diet coke, I could not let that misconception continue, and pointed out diet coke all over Paris for much less than 9 euros).

I took her in the pharmacy on Rue Bonapart, to show her how the shoppers lined up to ask the pharmacist's guestions about skin care products. She even found some oil, similiar to the oil used in the hamman which she wanted.

We continued on to Lauderee and Pierre Herme. She purchased macrons at each. We went back to the apartment before heading out for our night tour.

Fat Tire evening bike tour. http://fattirebiketours.com/paris I think this was her highlight. I don't know if you have ever done one, but to me it resembles a bike shop in the US. When you enter the office, you immediately forget you are in Paris, american english is spoken by everyone. It's a strange phenomenon. Our group consisted of mostly americans, and a couple from Australia. The guide was a young man from the US, but has lived in Paris for 2 years. It was fun, but I wonder what the parisians think of these tours. We did get told off by a few, once for taking up too much room on the bike lane, and once for more for being on the sidewalk. After the tour ended about 11:30 pm, we took our first Metro ride, this is when I found out she did not like the metro and preferred the bus. We got off at St. Michel and managed to find just a couple places open for eating, we ended up getting crepes. She said she had never had a ham and cheese sandwich that tasted so good. All in all, I think she enjoyed her first full day in Paris.

Now, not only I admire your courage, I also admire your patience! You are a saint ("anything someone had told her about, I made sure we did. " I don't think I can deal with traveling w/someone who shows no interest at the destination (ie, didn't bother with reading guidebooks), and I think it's very frustrating as well as stressful when you have to keep wondering if she's actually enjoying the sights you took her to! This doesn't sound like a vacation for you with all these concerns!

Yeah I have done the Fat Tire bikes in Paris and Barcelona and think the locals are annoyed. In Paris a group of about 25 of us "charged" across the traffic thru Place de Concorde yelling YEE HAH (as instructed by our leader). I suspect that is the kind of thing that gives Americans a bad reputation.

I did a trip to London a few years ago with a friend who had never been out of the country. She did not care to do any research beforehand (because I had been there before) and she informed me on the plane over that she was not interested in history, old buildings or any churches!!. What!! I ended up being a tour guide.
Hope your trip ends up better than mine.

You get a gold star for your patience with your friend! I hope she appreciated all you did! Can't wait to read more.

Oh, you are so brave, happy! You get a gold star for you effort, no matter how creepy the rest of the story turns out.

As for those bike tours, we Parisians just watch them go by and don't really give it much of a thought. Bicycles have become extremely common in the city, so the tours are not a shock. However, any Parisian who comes across a Segway tour usually finds the concept appalling. Paris is such a compact walking city that it seems like an abomination to roll around on electric things when you could be walking.

suec1: We did not have to say yee hah, but were told to do other various embarrasing things by our leader.

yk: I thought about going alone, but when she said yes, I really thought it would be my opportunity to open her eyes to the world a little bit. I certainly am not a saint, but I am an activity director for the elderly,so I am used to getting a few blank stares once in a while. I also knew that the more people participate hands on, the more they enjoy it. In fact I tried to book us everyday for some activity, but due to the late notice, many were booked (cooking, painting, tastings, etc.)

Days 2-3: Started off very hopeful. She woke commenting on how the yogurt was the best she had ever tasted. I felt this was a very good sign. We continued on visiting the Louvre, Sacre Couer, Champs Elysees, Sainte Chapelle. It was after Sainte Chapelle, that I realized Paris was not for her, how can someone enter that beautiful jewell without even a slight sign of joy, I'll never know, but she did it.

We took the bus everywhere. I managed to get us where we were going easily by using www.rapt.fr , but upon leaving we would be on a different street or someplace else entirely, so we needed to usually check 1 or 2 different bus stops in order to get the right one. This was a little frustrating for her, but she would not use the metro or walk.

Ice Cream: This is funny, I asked her if she wanted to try Berthillon, not because I like it, but many people do. Her comment was " I don't understand the lines, they don't even have Rocky Road."

Day 4: A day of not playing tour guide, we took the Fat Tire bicycle Monet tour. For those that don't know, you can easily do this on your own without a tour, there are bicycle rentals next to the train station in Vernon, and its a very short flat ride to Giverny. Our tour guide was american, but he had a degree in art and architecture, so the commentary was very informative. This was my friends favorite of the entire trip, relief at last. However, she did not let on that she liked it, until we were home.

Day 5 : We spent more time shopping, visiting the Monoprix wherever we saw one. She brought quite a few things to bring home. She even brought a plug adapter for her next trip to Europe, I saw this as a great sign.

happytotravel, let me say this again, you ARE a saint! I also cannot comprehend how anyone could not be awed by Saint Chapelle! I honestly cannot travel with people who don't share my interests, or appreciate the same/similar things that I do; unless we split up to do our own sightseeing.

I think it'll be truly fascinating if your friend would come here and post *her* version of the trip!

"She did not let on she liked it until we were home" - funny that line reminds me of when I traveled with my daughters when they were teenagers! In fact, many aspects of your trip remind me of traveling with teenagers - not looking in guidebooks, little interest in the fabulous french food, not liking the Metro.....next time you find a super fare, call me - you deserve a more enthusiastic travel partner but who knows maybe with your patient tutoring you will have given birth to a new fan of european travel.

Oh, I am cringing more and more!

But I have come across numerous "blank stare" tourists who seem to be interested in nothing yet who give glowing reports of their "adventures" once they are back home.

Oh happytotravel - you are definitely a saint! I agree - how can anyone not love Ste Chapelle? And refusing to walk in Paris!!!

Happy, you deserve a medal. I would have ditched her on day one, forget the consequences. Don't let people suck the joy out of your life. It appears some grown ups need babysitters.
Are you still on friendly terms?

If someone has never travelled before, especially to places so far from home, I think they don't appreciate that preparing for the trip is a big part of the adventure. It just builds your anticipation. Also, I think that someone going to a foreign country for the first can be intimidated by the language difference and by their own preconcieved ideas about the area. I'd say the woman really did want to travel. Otherwise she wouldn't have said yes. Hopefully your kindness will open her eyes to the joys of exploring areas far from your comfort zone. You are very kind to work so hard for her to have a good time.

Gosh happytotravel, I admire your fortitude and patience. What is this person like on a daily basis? Is she really reserved as a rule? It's really hard to read people like that.

I'm a little on the introverted side, and I travel alone a lot so I don't do a lot of "oohing" and "aahing" out loud. I'm already considered strange enough as it is!

But I cannot imagine traveling with someone who makes no comment at all. My dear friend does no research, but her enthusiasm and excitement once she's there makes up for all the itinerary planning I must do for the both of us.

I grew up in a bi-national family and was always completely aware that different and interesting parts of the planet existed. However, I went to school in a rural isolated U.S. location where the teachers drilled into every head the whole concept of "USA #1" and the "fact" that the entire rest of the world was inferior, backwards and worthy of disdain.

Perhaps modern media have given more people the opportunity to have a different opinion, but I do believe that quite a fesw people have no interest in any part of the rest of the world because they have "learned" in school that their country is the best in the world and that therefore the other countries are a waste of time.

Day 6: Champagne tour: another day off for me. We booked through Viatar, and we headed to Champagne, we could have easily done this on our own, I just didn't want the hassle of being responsible. I didn't ask her if she wanted to do it, I just booked it because I like champagne. This was another day that I think she enjoyed, but sipping champagne throughout the day can make anyone a little happier.

Day 7: home, DH picked us up from the airport. He is quite inquisitive by nature, so he asked her all kinds of questions. Basically, she had a nice time, she probably wouldn't go to Paris again, and Colorado (were we live) is really a nice place.

She is reserved in emotions on a daily basis, so it is not so surprising that I couldn't tell what she liked or didn't like, just more difficult for planning. We are still friends. I wish I could say that I opened her eyes to the world, but sadly I don't think so. It just means there is one less person in Paris, all the better for those of us that truly enjoy it.

Hi happytotravel - I DO think you opened her eyes, otherwise, she wouldn't have bought the European adaptor for her *next* adventure!

I confess that I am generally secretly relieved when people do not want to return to Paris. The overload of tourists started about 20 years ago (I sort of attribute it to the 'opening' of Eastern Europe and Russia, millions of people who had been waiting to join the flow to Paris for almost 50 years, followed by China). I do not begrudge the desire to see Paris, but when I first moved here, there were never lines to enter the Louvre or Notre Dame or lots of the other places. You would just visit them at your leisure at random. Those days appear to be gone forever.

She is reserved in emotions on a daily basis, so it is not so surprising that I couldn't tell what she liked or didn't like, just more difficult for planning.

Oh, so you traveled with my mother!

Wow - what patience you had.

Some people just don't get it. They are happy to live all their lives in familiar surroundings and have no curiosity. Obviously, she is one of them.

hi happytotravel,

wow ... i gotta say, i read your report and my jaw was practically on the floor! you have a LOT more patience and generosity that i do!

btw - here's the million dollar question - would you do it again???

I could have written this entire post on my trip two years ago with a very well traveled friend. But Paris seemed to leave her cold. I was familiar with the city and therefore fell into the role of tour guide. But she sat outside reading while I went into museums; the food never met her needs; there was no enthusiasm about anything. And we were there for two weeks. I will travel again with her but only when someone else is running the show.

No one in my family likes to plan ahead, read about the destination, think of things to do, other than me. And the temperament of my husband and at least one of my daughters is such that you wouldn't necessarily know they were having a good time. They aren't bursting with enthusiasm at home either.

This does not mean that they don't enjoy the travel we have done and will continue to do together.

It might be the case that happy's friend had a much better time than happy thinks she did.

You are a saint!!!! I bet your friend will talk about this trip the rest of her life as her greatest adventure. I also bet she will not go back to Paris...she was there, she did it. I think from your report you still managed to enjoy yourself. You had your expectations for your friend's attitude well in hand. You are very special.

Leely2:

Good one!

I think Royal summed it up nicely with "no curiosity"

Happy, I know sooooo many people like your friend who just are not interested in traveling and are not curious about much of anything outside of their home town or state. And I can't imagine spending a week in Paris with any of them! You are a really good friend!

Thanks so much for posting this report. I love your story and I love everyones comments.

The reality is that not everyone is as interested in researching, reading about and anticipating travel. Hard though it may be for us to understand, there are some people who would just as soon go to Las Vegas, the idea of which leaves me cold. Or would rather take a cruise or book a guided tour. The idea of just going on their own is too scarey.

I have travelled with two friends who weren't interested in doing much planning even when I gave them guide books so that they could determine what interested them. And I hate the complaints about how much everything costs-they were warned and besides, this might be a once-in-a-lifetime vacation. I think you all have inspired me to try solo travel.

<<Did she end up enjoying Paris? you'll have to read to find out.>>

I cannot imagine why you would undertake such an endeavor, knowing this person as you did beforehand.

<<I wish I could say that I opened her eyes to the world, but sadly I don't think so. >>

Are you sure that wasn't my DH? "I only eat jelly on my crepes" and "chocolate and bread - don't think so."

We are at the ET with DS Paris at out feet. DS says mom look at Dad -- he is studying the guys that are priming the ET with a gray paint and looking at what kind of work they were doing.

I really was not suprised - we've been married almost 20 years.

I am laughing at the Dad who was checking out the painters' work!

Your friend reminds me of my friend who went to Spain with me for 2 weeks. She decided to come with me at last minute (I had originally planned to go solo), which I thought would be great. She wasn't very expressive or enthusiastic, which is the opposite of me, and I overheard her tell a mutual friend afterwards that she had fun but "would have rather gone to Vegas" (we live in LA!!!). ugh.

Reading this thread makes me realize how lucky I am to travel solo!!

Although, I must admit that my Dec. quick/short 12 day trip, dear Lilia from CA joined me and we did have a ball, as our joint running thread report described!

I join people when I am there and also have Parisian friends, so I am not alone! I can do whatever with my time and planning, quick decisions etc.

Joan

Happytotravel - I know just how you felt. No, really do.
Like Palette I too have made the grimist mistake by telling an acquaintance who's son went to school with my son, that I had decided to go on a Walking tour and would she like to come along. Well, she did and that was the beginning of my nightmare.
From a quite likeable amusing woman she turned into a life-sapping, totally reliant and unknown to me at the time - heavily medicated.
A few of the things she would or would not do:

Would NOT use an esculator

Not - Join most of the side tours provided on the walk - slept in the bus while we sipped wine, watched a patanque exhibition etc.

Would NOT shower - only bath if we had one in the room or if not, splash and wash from the handbasin.

Would - Stand and stare at nothing in particular

Walking was a great strain and sometimes ended in tears

Loved the social element and engaging in conversation on a one-on-one basis

No interest in taking photos of anything

This Walking tour included The Loire Valley and spending 4 days in Paris before going on to London for a further 3 days.
I've never been so glad to be out of someone's company in my life!

Not walking in the greatest walking city in the world, and then wanting rocky road ice cream----you ARE nominated for sainthood!

There is not enough wine in France for me to put up with that.

On the bright side, she liked the Monet bike tour, she must have had a smile on her face for that. I would have been beaming.

I hope when she uses her adapter plug again you are not with her. She's very lucky to have a freind with much patience.

I think that the reluctant traveler did demonstrate courage and the ability to try something different by taking those bike tours, for example.

Most likely, if she never had any desire to go for walks at home, nor any interest in foreign cuisine at home, these interests are unlikely to appear when plopped down in Paris.

It may be that Paris is just not her preferred city, but she would like others in Europe better. For me, Paris is not at the top of my list, although I objectively appreciate its virtues. But I'm sure others would agree that if she does have any interest in visiting elsewhere in Europe, she'd probably appreciate the trip more if she planned it herself.

I admit that I was also surprised that she accepted the bike tour.

I don't think we need to drag Rocky Road into this.

Like Nikki, I have people in my family who are not particularly effusive or expressive--but I have learned that doesn't mean they aren't having a good time.

I agree that it's more difficult to plan what to do with these types.

I wanted to give an update:

I just received a French Lavender Wreath at the front door, the note says " Thank you, for taking the time to take me to France and share one of your most favorite things with me. I had a great time."

What a surprise

happytotravel, how nice! I won't dwell on if it was worth it for you, but I imagine it's gratifying to know that she did appreciate your efforts.

Leely2's favorite flavor is rocky road.

happytotravel, maybe your friend read this thread!