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Spain and Portugal with young kids

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I need help!!! We are headed to Spain for a family wedding with a 3 1/2 year old and 1 year old. We'll be there for about a week at the end of August. The wedding is in Sela, near Vigo and we'll be flying into/connecting in Madrid. Our flight isn't locked down yet, as we aren't certain where we'll be basing ourselves.

Here are my questions:
- would you recommend staying in Madrid for a portion of time? If so, know any good hotels for kids?
- would you recommend taking a portion of the time and staying in San Sebastian? I've read good things on here!
- We are considering just connecting in Madrid and heading straight to Vigo/Sela then basing ourselves there for the week. Does anyone know much about this surrounding area and things to do there (and in Portugal) with very young kids?
- Car vs. Public transportation - this is a HUGE dilemma for us. If we go straight to Sela, we'll just rent a car and do day trips. If we stay in Madrid for a bit, what would you recommend for transportation? Our concern is that we will need a car for at least the portion of time we're in Sela for the wedding... and with a car we'll need 2 carseats.. so we think that takes out the option of trains/ buses considering all the stuff we'd have to lug around. I think that was a bit rambling, but we are so confused on what to do here. Can anyone give input on the financial aspect of renting/driving from Madrid to Sela, on possibly renting carseats, on maybe staying in Madrid then flying to Vigo and renting a car there? ANY input and experience is appreciated.
- Finally, I am, of course, researching this like crazy, but if anyone has advice on travelling in Spain with 2 small kids, I would love to hear it! Or really, just travelling in general! FYI, the girls are very calm, pleasant and easygoing. And our style of travel is adventurous - we're in it for the experience, not necessarily luxury. Oh, and our budget is tight (not surprising with a young family!).

Thanks in advance for any advice, input, help, and resources you can provide! It's time to start nailing down the details on this trip!!

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