Do you have enough money in the bank to support yourself for 6 months? If so then bring a current copy of your bank statement. You also may be asked to show a valid credit card.

I'm not sure why you're worried. The only reason to worry is if you can't prove that you can support yourself for 6 months.

Why do you presume that people will be mean to you and that they will question getting an apartment for 6 months rather than a hotel?

Yes I do have enough money for the apartment/tax/bills/food for 6 months from savings. Plus I get more money every month. I asked this question on yahoo answers and people said I was delusional to think anyone would rent a flat to me because I was American and was only staying for 6 months. Thank you for the kind answer x

Um, you can;t just get a visa. You have to qualify for a specific TYPE of visa. For instance, if you are going to school in the UK you can get a student visa. If you are being sent there by your employer they wold organize a visa for you. If you were wealthy and retired you might qualify for along-term resident visa if you meet a lot of requirements.

In your situation you don;t qualfiy for a visa - so there's no point in trying to get one. What you need to be sure is that when you enter the UK you meet the basic requirements - a return ticket within 6 months, having the name of the hotel in which you will be staying (at least for the first couple of days while youl ook for an apartment), an indication you will be going home (acceptance in college, job you are returning to or family) as well as proof you have enough money to support yourself (a large savings account, high limit credit card etc.) You can;t enter if you only have money to support yourself for a couple of weeks. For six months they will want to see several thousands of dollars in savings or credit.

Well now you know not to ask questions on yahoo. People rent apartments in Europe all the time. You can rent for as little as a couple of days in cities; outside cities the rentals are usually for a week minimum.

To nytravler you do realize there are many different types of visas? Including general visitor? Have you ever been to the UK boarder site? Did you even read my question??? I clearly state that I already found an apartment, and I do have more than enough money to support myself. If you're not going to be helpful than buzz off.

Assuming you are an American, you don;t NEED a visa in order to say for less than 6 months. To stay longer than that you need to qualify for a specific type of visa. Yes - there are visas that can be given - often to retired people - who want to live in the UK for a period of time. They need to prove to the authorities that they can support themselves (not pay rent, but support themselves - utilities, food, transportation, etc. They also have to prove that they have full health coverage -s o they are not a charge on the British healthcare system. There are also a number of other specific requirements. If you think you meet all of them - certainly go and apply for a visa.

I wold expect though - to be able to prove at least $12,000 in savings or credit - as well as health coverage.

And just so you know - someone going to a long-term apartment rental - rather than a hotel, hostel or sort-term rental - is likely to get extra attention from Immigration.

Since you appear to have anticipated problems, at the border and on this board, it could be a good idea to address the nearest United Kingdom embassy or legation and get answers directly from the source.

For God's sake I already stated that I have enough money for apartment/food/bills/tax etc etc. I have health insurance if they need it. Once again did you even read what I wrote?? I talked to the people who are talking about renting to me and they said I can stay for 6 months if I pay 2 months plus deposit in advance. Was me saying 6 months not a hint that I was staying short term? I will be skipping everything you say from now on since you're of no help. Goodbye and have a good day.

Can't imagine why you had such a hard time over at Yahoo . . .

Check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439167346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337911217&sr=8-1

I think it might come in handy.

Perhaps you do not want to tell UK immigration to buzz off should THEY ask you any question regarding your ability to cover your expenses. Perhaps you should also tone down the self-entitled arrogance if you want anyone to help you at all, here, there or anywhere. Oh, and good luck.

In your case, I doubt there's any point in applying for a visa - which costs at least around $200, and involves a great deal of form filling and time wasting

Admission to the UK is ultimately at the discretion of immigration officers at UK borders. If you give them grounds for deciding you can't support yourself, are liable to overstay or will be a cost to the UK taxpayer, they'll refuse admission whether or not you've got a visa.

The category of arrivals with the highest rates of illegal overstay is white, non-European, under 25 years olds, so you're very likely to be received at the border with a high degree of scepticism. Personally I'd have thought that having a visa you don't need would add to that scepticism.

The best source for advice in your case is the Lonely Planet Thorn Tree site. Mostly populated by Britons and Australians, it doesn't have the provincial bourgeois obsession with decorum that typifies advice here. Hypersensitive Americans convinced of their entitlement are likely to be easily offended by Torn Tree's instant deflation of questions from posters seriously up themselves.

Flanneruk, greatly admire such delicate decorum in your response! Big smile on my face.

I've always understood that getting a visa isn't like an option to buy a pass. It's something that's either required or not.

If you want to visit for a purpose that requires a visa, you apply for one. If you want to visit for a purpose that doen't require one, then you don't.

In this case, visiting as a tourist doesn't require one. If that's your objective, you just turn up, and if there's nothing to arouse an immigration official's suspicion that you might be planning to overstay or to work illegally, or that you can't support yourself, you'll have permission to stay for 6 months. There's no system of optional entry clearance before you leave (how can there be?).

Yes I searched for the prices of visas and a 6 month one is 123, a 2 year one is around 422. I know i have enough money because I converted my U.S. dollars and I have enough for rent which is 2k for 6 months and I have over 6k. I'm not hypersensitive I just thought that guy/girl was rude, and was spreading false information. Also thanks for letting me know that it won't matter if I have a visa or not. I'll just see what happens when I get off the plane and hope for the best. :/

UK immigration is a doozy compared to what a Brit tourist experiences going to the US, with a 90 day limit, finger printing, photo, etc!!
Also would point out that the UK allows US visitors six months, whereas othe EU countries such as France limit you to 90 days.
As long as you have a return ticket and evidence of sufficient funds to support yourself you will be fine.

" evidence of sufficient funds to support yourself "

Yes, but the point is: the poster hasn't got that evidence. He appears to intend telling the officer his dad'll send the money each month.

Whether that'll convince the officer is a whole nother question. But a visa won't help.

Provincial? Bourgeoise? Obsessed with decorum?

I've thought about it and decided it's probably an accurate description of me.

As we all know, the Cotswolds are rife with outré cosmopolitan bohemianism.

since I am a U.S. citizen I don't need a visa unless I am a criminal

UK doesn't have a visa for criminals - either your nationality requires you to have a visa or it doesn't. Your criminal past doesn't affect that. If you did require a visa (either as a visa national or because you were applying for a work / student visa) then your criminal record does become significant. But you aren't so it's doesn't.

I find your opening sentence.. "Please no rude/sassy comments" interesting when it didn't take YOU long to tell someone to "buzz off". I read lots of posts here and it is the first time I have seen that from a poster over what I found just to be general information, no direct aggressive personal attack. I think you were very quick to be "rude and sassy" to someone who was just giving her opinion/information.

Lighten up. If, at your age, you continue with this low level of tolerance you will get high blood pressure among not being welcome on internet forums.

flanneruk I do plan on bringing bank evidence proving how much I make each month, plus I will bring my CC info or whatever and prove I have enough savings to take care of myself.

2K for 6 months? Must be a great flat as my son lives in London and I spent weeks with him looking for inexpensive flats while he went to grad school there and anything clean/decent costs some money.I travel to London and the rest of Europe every week for work and personally I don't think that 6K is alot for 6 months living in England-just saying...

Most health insurance from the states are not going to help you over there-you have the NHS but not being a worker or student you will find that you will be standing in line for quite a while for your health needs.

People were trying to help you here and your attitude of entitlement is sure going to be a problem over there so when people offer help,be nice and say Thank You!

I'm not nice to people who are rude/aggressive with me. I'm not worried about the health needs.

You'd better be polite to the immigration people even if you think that they don't treat you with the deference you expect. They have the power to chuck you out.

@miss if you're not going to be helpful then don't comment

With your attitude, Dobby, I doubt you'll make it past the airport.

I don't have an attitude

Wow..is this where the title ugly american comes from..Any passport control ( in Europe,No. America, Mexico, and Asia)that Ive been through the officer, and he/she is an official, would not even blink at putting this attitudinal person on a return plane to where ever.. Mind your manners when travelling, emailing, foruming or just plain existing in a community..You will learn much, experience much and enjoy it all!!!

whateva whateva i do wat i want >.>

This thread is so much fun

We are going to have so much fuuuuuuuuun with this little one in London

anyone else think someone is having fun trolling with us?

>>you have the NHS<<

For future readers coming as tourists, you don't, except of course for emergency care. Minor cuts and bruises they might well not charge for, as too much paperwork, but you will certainly need insurance for emergency repatriation, and you would be wise to ensure you have coverage for any pre-existing conditions.

Maybe I will get health coverage, but I don't have any health problems. If I need it in order to cross the border then I will. I will talk with immigration. And to that other rude poster my spelling looks okay if I do say so myself. I got awards in English. I think it's funny how everyone is attacking me when all I asked was if a visa would help me cross over. You're all jealous

This thread is waaaaaaay too entertaining. I have to get back to work!

lincasanova - i was thinking the same thing.

perhaps marian has emerged from behind her books.

Oh dear, now we're all jealous. So, so entertaining.

People have given you lots of answers - which you don't seem to want. Perhaps beacsue they are not congratulating you on how wonderful you are (which mommy and daddy must do continually to have given you such a sense of your own importantce). Other people do know things which they are trying to tell you.

But, do as you please. Just don;t be surprised if you are turned away at Heathrow - for not having health insurance coverage or enough money to support yourself for the time you plan to be in the UK.

DTT, if you are not a Troll, your posts are the very epitome of attitude. Absolutely no one was rude to you or attacked you. They were direct - yes, factual - yes. Perhaps you do not understand that even though you start a thread on this forum, any other forum member has the right to contribute their opinion as they see fit. Since you do not own or have any control over the forum, you can tell them to "buzz off" or not to comment all you want; it is just your attitude blowing in the wind.

I don't even have an attitude. one member (who I ignored), did give attitude, and was not ''factual''. They gave false information about who can and can't have a visa. He/she didn't even read my post and just assumed I didn't have enough money to support myself for 6 months, when I clearly wrote TWICE that I did. So I called him out. I was sticking up for myself. Now people are bullying me and accusing me of being ''spoiled'' and ''arrogant'', which I am not. I am nice and smart okay. I'm not dumb I actually planned my trip carefully. I only made this forum post to see if anyone thought getting a visa was a good idea. The only thing I'm working on now is calling immigration tomorrow. Once I get the ''ok'' from them, I will be laughing my way to Europe, while you bullies continue to hate for no reason.

Yes I searched for the prices of visas and a 6 month one is 123, a 2 year one is around 422.

What kind of visa is that? As a US citizen you don't need a visa to visit the UK and most of the other visas aren't available to you - the Tier 5 (Youth Mobility Scheme) visa which is the only likely visa doesn't apply to you since George Washington took his bat home.

I know i have enough money because I converted my U.S. dollars and I have enough for rent which is 2k for 6 months and I have over 6k.

Either your maths is poor or you are going to live on a park bench as in most parts of the UK you'd be lucky to *only* pay 2k - and in the SE that might get you a room in a large (and no doubt badly maintained) HMO with shared facilities.

I have heard that people are beginning to study the anatomy of troll posts. This one is so OTT that I suspect that it has been set as a school or college study.
One of the "Marian" posts actually turned into a civilised discussion after a few flames. S/He must have found that an interesting twist

sadly I fear that the OP may not be a troll - s/he just keeps coming back for more, whereas trolls tend to light the blue touch paper and retire to a safe distance.

Dobby [assuming you are real] the people here are truly trying to help you. we will get no pleasure from your being turned back at immigration. you WILL need more than $2000 for accommodation in central london [unless you are thinking of renting in Hoxton] and bringing proof of continuing income as well as savings would be sensible.

hope you have a great 6 months in the UK.

>>and just assumed I didn't have enough money to support myself for 6 months, when I clearly wrote TWICE that I did.<<

You may think you have enough. The point being made is that what you think is not as important as what the immigration officer thinks. $US6000 is not enough for six months in London, and if you're hoping to supplement it with extra from your parents, that's likely going to need a firm guarantee backed up with documentary evidence.

And good luck calling "immigration" on a Saturday (tomorrow); actually good luck getting a verbal "ok" from an automated message. And good luck explaining your verbal 'ok' when you step off that plane. Perhaps you should read the relevant websites, and try to get an appointment. And by relevant websites I do not mean Facebook or Twitter. And another good luck finding a reasonable place to stay in London until after the Olympics ths summer. You are aware of the Olympics?

No one is bullying you, and sorry, you HAVE said some childish and rude things here.

You're planning to "call immigration" today and get an "ok?" Boy, it doesn't get more naive than that!

I don't know, you could just about find a room in a flat share for £500 a month in some areas of London. Not nice areas, but people live there. If this is it Dobby, just make sure it's safe, grotty is not important really, but some estates I wouldn't want to see any living in.

If you have found a whole flat for £500, it either isn't in London, or it's a scam.

LOL! I forgot today is the weekend I will try any kind of contact on Monday. I will be updating

>>I found an apartment near London that I can afford.<<

>>It's a very nice quiet area 3 hours from the city.<<

If it's 3 hours from the city it is nowhere near London.

And Monday is a federal holiday.....

Three hours from London is hardly nearby.

And how have you "found" this apartment? A legitimate tental service? I hope not Craig's list - which is filled with scams. And while I am not an expert at real estate in the UK I can't imagine anyplace that you would want to stay that rents a whole apartment for $500 per month. It certainly doesn't seem likely in any major town or tourist area. And if not there - how would you get anyplace? Are you planning on having a car???? Of just huddling in your apartment in wherever?

Really, when someone says "near" somplace, I imagine 99% of all travelers would not consider 3 hours "near" . This story just keeps getting better and better, I swear you cannot make up ths stuff.

I also do not think anyone here has been "blinded by unnecessary anger" towards you. You must have been a pleasure in the not so long ago classroom.

So You've found your apartment, and it's three hours from London, travelling by train or road? How then do you propose to spend these six months? Have you any idea of where you you would like go? What about travel costs? It costs me with a travel card nearly £35 each time I go to London and that's before I include any extra travel costs and eating out. OK I know there are cheap ways of eating out. Everyone here so far has tried to help you pointing out possible pitfalls but you have chosen to ignore many of them. Just keep planning.

Haha this thread cracks me up!! An unpopular village that you plan to use public transit to do daytrips? Please do trip reports!! Can't wait to hear about your adventures!!!

oh my, i didn't click on this thread for so long but sensed something must be going on as was so popular!!!

Dobby, im confused are you touring the UK for six months from just one base?!?!

Dobby, im confused are you touring the UK for six months from just one base?!?!>>

HG - after reading this thread - YOU'RE confused?

not half as confused as the OP.

ann, do u think the OP has been put off the UK forever or is the sense that something funny going on......

(DobbyTheTurtle i am of course aware u will see this and i'm just trying to get a summary...so please don't tell me to buzz off, i'm genuinely trying to figure out whats going onto see if i can help. Would love to know about this village too??? it sounds nice although for me a 6 hour comute to london would be pushing it. You also look very much like Harry from One Direction)

I'll tell u something, I am very interested in the 1600 a month travel allowance...wow that would be very nice!

Hope you like the UK

'6 hour round trip commute' even

hmmm wish fordors had a delete comments option!!

Dobby have a great time in the Uk

This might be my favorite thread of the year so far. Certainly the rudest. Still I'd love to know which village.

Omg HG - he does look like that guy from One Direction!!!

In all seriousness the uk is awesome and I hope you get the opportunity to experience it!

I never said if I was female or male. And yes I make $1600 per month, and in pounds it will be a little over 1k so this will help me with my trip. My apartment is £390. So with my monthly payment I have a lot left over. Plus my £6k in savings, which will add up until I leave in August If I were to get a hotel I wouldn't make it for 6 months, so haha I am smart for getting a flat x

I will only go to London once a week or once every two weeks and explore.

annhig - I don't get why you think I'm confused. I know what I want to do on my trip. You're just as jealous as nytraveler if not more.

annhig - I don't get why you think I'm confused. I know what I want to do on my trip. You're just as jealous as nytraveler if not more.>>

jealous of what, exactly? any envy i might feel of an 18 year old who has an opportunity like this has been tempered by the growing realisation that sadly you may not benefit from it as much as you would be able to if you were willing to listen to advice in an open-minded fashion.

good luck to the "village" where the OP's flat is situated. i note that s/he has bottled out of telling us where it is, incase we "stalk" him/her. as if!

So what is it, really, you make $1600/ month or you get gifted that amount? Oh wait, maybe someone's investments make it for you - whatever, you have less sense of expenses than many your age, maybe because they work and pay bills.

Please do not worry that anyone here is going to stalk you, not that interested. But we are truly amused that you are plunking yourself (well, if you get past 'immigration') a 6 hour roundtrip fom London, with now unlimited transportation funds, you did say cabs didn't you?

And again, doubt if anyone is jealous. Baffled, bemused, annoyed, but it only gets more entertaining.

Hope immigration answers the phone on Tuesday.

Just an FYI-your call to UK Immigration is going to cost you big bucks as no one just answers the phone and gives answers. You have to go through a special number (read outsourced group) and they charge per minute to talk to you.

I know where I can call for free

Um - not sure how you have a $1600 per month income if you are in the UK - since you're not allowed to work there. And if yuo're in the UK you're not working in the US.

Perhaps this is just an allowance or trust fund.

And please, don't think that anyone is jealous of you. Many of us have traveled more than yuo ever will in yuor whole life. People are actually trying to be helpful - by pointing out potential problems to someone who has not traveled.

But you are so convinced you are right abuot everything that you won;t even consider comments. (Really what are you going to do spending 6 months having rented out someone's garage in a small town at the end of hell and gone with no transport?)

I know how UK Border Agency in NYC works (the only people who can issue visas for UK in US).
First, you can't get advice off telephone. They just tell you to study their website.
Secondly, about getting a visa. Yes, it's possible for a US national (though not needed under immigration rules), just to avoid or mitigate lengthy interrogation at UK border and possible refued entry. Look at the application form you need to fill in (online but it follows the printed version) at http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/applicationforms/visas/vaf1a.pdf and guidance notes at http://www.ukba.homeoffice.gov.uk/sitecontent/applicationforms/visas/vaf1-guidance.pdf
Between them they tell you everything you need to know about what kind of evidence to submit about your travel plans, funds, coming home at the end and any ties in US. You will need health coverage, and travel insurance usually covers it, but many give cover for less than 6 months. Backpacker type insurance usually offers longer cover.
Armed with a general visitor visa, you shouldn't have too much trouble at UK border, but I suggest you carry with you bank statement, details of booked accommodation, return plane ticket and an outline itinerary during your stay in UK.

Hope it helps.

I have a simplistic question. Whenever I have traveled to the UK I have not been asked to show my return ticket, evidence of funds, health insurance, or any of the other things people are advising. All I have been asked is what my reason is for being in the UK. I say "holiday" and that's that.

When you go through immigration, couldn't a person just state they will be in the UK for 2 weeks on holiday? Who would know the difference? Why call attention to yourself by stating that you will be there for 6 months? And in these days of e-tickets, who has their return ticket with them anyway?

I'm not trying to be a wise guy. I sincerely don't understand why you need to volunteer info that might call negative attention to yourself.

When you are under 30, the agents usually ask what your intentions are or how long are you going to be there.

Isn't there a 90 day limit on visits or does that apply to EU countries?

Again, when they ask, why couldn't you just say "I'm here on holiday for two weeks." That's what I've always done, now and when I was much younger.

Why would you need to volunteer info that would call attention to yourself? I've never been asked for documentation for how how long I would be in country, even when I was much younger. And I see young people breezing through immigration all the time without being thoroughly questioned.

I think if the OP just just kept her 6-month plan to herself and said she was on holiday for two weeks she'd be fine.

Ah immigration and customs these days particularly at Heathrow is getting tighter especially with the Jubilee and the Olympics coming up. You would be surprised what we as crew members are going through these days?

>>>My apartment is £390.<<<

I can't imagine what type of apartment you would get for this amount. It would have to be a dump.

>>>Isn't there a 90 day limit on visits or does that apply to EU countries?<<<

6 months for England.

skyking - My daughter has been questioned about return, etc. at check-in for flights.

Dobby doesn't say when her travel commences. It could very well be after the Olympics and Jubilee.

Dobby, don't complicate things for yourself unnecessarily. You don't need a visa so don't try to get one. Don't volunteer that you're staying 6 months. Put the address of a London hostel or hotel on your landing card.

When they ask at immigration, just tell them you're on holiday and that you will be there for 3 weeks. I bet you 10 to 1 they will simply stamp your passport and send you on your way. Just like they do for thousands of young people who visit the UK every year.

The flat and the village are very nice xx

Another hater *yawn*

skyking- Thanks for your answers. I'm not going to get a visa. I'm not a good liar though. Don't they put into the system how long you were supposed to stay?

I would love to find a nice flat in a nice village or town in the UK for 390 GBP/month. Do tell! Where is it and how did you find it?

kybourbon,
Why would your daughter be questioned at check-in? If she bought a round-trip ticket, wouldn't the airline know when she was returning? Besides, most people check in online now anyway, or do it electronically at the airport.

I'm not saying questioning can't happen. But if I was 18 and planning to stay for 6 months in the UK, I would not volunteer that information.

Dobby, I agree with flanneruk--ask this question on the Thorntree forum at Lonely Planet. Most of the people on this website are old enough to be your grandparents and then some. Thorntree attracts a much younger crowd,and you will probably find people with firsthand experience with what you're planning to do. Not a bunch of oldsters giving well-meaning, but probably too-conservative advice.

Dobby,
In answer to your question, I don't think they input your return date. But even if they do, as long as you haven't stayed longer than 6 months, it doesn't matter. You haven't broken any rules. People are allowed to change their plans.

Not wise to lie at any immigration post anywhere in the world.

thursday- after my trip is over I will give out the info I would say now but I got too many people on here that hate me. They will probably hunt me down and God only knows what they will do

Doubt anyone here hates you. At least, they didn't start out hating you. And I can't imagine any one here bothering to hunt you down.

>>>kybourbon,
Why would your daughter be questioned at check-in? If she bought a round-trip ticket, wouldn't the airline know when she was returning? Besides, most people check in online now anyway, or do it electronically at the airport.<<<

Airlines don't want to transport someone that isn't going to be allowed in the country upon landing.

>>>When they ask at immigration, just tell them you're on holiday and that you will be there for 3 weeks.<<<

I would not lie at immigration. Everything is computerized anymore. Easy to pull ticket info, etc.

Not trying to be argumentative kybourbon, but if she checked in online and printed out her boarding pass at home as most people do, the airline would not have the opportunity to question her at check-in. She would go straight to the gate.

Yes, you can pull ticket info, but immigration officers don't have airline info readily at hand. Unless you give them a reason, they are not going to get up from their desks and go start investigating your flight plans. That's my point. The system would come to a complete halt if they did that, even on a semi-regular basis.

I concede that lying is not a good thing. But in this case, I would do it. I would not volunteer that I was staying for 6 months. It opens up a whole can of worms that doesn't need to be opened. YMMV.

Oh dear. I have no printable comment, but comment I must. Because I don't want to lose sight of this rather ill mannered young person.

"Dobby, I agree with flanneruk--ask this question on the Thorntree forum at Lonely Planet. Most of the people on this website are old enough to be your grandparents and then some. Thorntree attracts a much younger crowd,and you will probably find people with firsthand experience with what you're planning to do. Not a bunch of oldsters giving well-meaning, but probably too-conservative advice."

A few of the regulars on Thorntree are MUCH more "honest" than most of the posters on here, with her attitude she'll get ripped to bits.

Sigh...I am going to be sad to see this thread end...

I can't imagine what type of apartment you would get for this amount. It would have to be a dump.

Depends where in the UK it is. Certainly nothing within commuting distance of the UK would be that cheap - even if it was a dump. But out in the provinces that would get at the very least a 1 bedroom flat, possibly 2 in some of the areas where unemployment is high. Perhaps he's found a nice flat in South Bank in Middlesbrough.

Dobby, you need to start a blog, and update it regularly during your travels. It will make fascinating reading!

This seems to be an amusing thread. It's getting a bit crowded under that rickety-rackety bridge
However, my nose detects a definite aroma of Billingsgate.
Judging from many messages on this forum, the average American parent worries itself sick when its "child", anything up to thirty years old, takes itself off to that dangerous Europe.
We've had parents coming over specially to see where little Lulu-Charlene will be staying during their year abroad at a foreign university.
I'm surprised that the OP's parents will let their ewe lamb come alone. Also, you get the impression that the entrance qualification for some American colleges is a discernible pulse. If little OP is really 18 why is s/he not in college?

While I think a lot of people here are giving some good advice I see some possible factual errors:

1.) Every time I have checked in on line for an international flight (many different airlines, airports) when you get to the gate and are waiting for the flight they call you up to the desk to check your passport - not just look at it at security or boarding. They page you to the desk and look at your documents. And no, not just me, there are always lots of people they do this to so I asked and they said its standard procedure for people who checked in on line. As someone else said, no airline wants to transport someone who is likely to be turned away upon entry.

2.) Return ticket - or onward ticket - information (therefore length of stay) is in the computer available to the immigration officers. If you said 'two weeks' and they didn't believe you they can make you show proof, and obviously if found to be lying you would be out.

3.) Calling UK immigration in the US costs something like $3 per minute and that includes time on hold.

>>I'm surprised that the OP's parents will let their ewe lamb come alone<<

Who knows, they may be encouraging their ewe lamb's sense of adventure, and only too keen to see him/her explore the wide world - as far away as possible.

As regards the location, I was thinking Middlesbrough as well. Or maybe parts of Burnley, which are equally idyllic.

Certainly will be a big difference from the usual tourist view of Britain. It might even be educational.

I think the OP will be exploringn the road to Wigan pier.

Who knows, they may be encouraging their ewe lamb's sense of adventure, and only too keen to see him/her explore the wide world - as far away as possible.>>

i was beginning to think the same, Patrick.

BTW, not only do Airlines not want to transport someone who may not have the right to enter the country, they get fined heavily if they do so, at least in the UK. something like £2000 per passenger. hence all the intrusive questions.

Skying.. just because you print out your boarding pass does not get you straight to the gate.. bypass questioning at airlines' desks, as correctly mentioned above.

It is the AIRLINE'S responsibility to make sure that each passenger is holding a valid passport/visa and has a return ticket.

I have been asked to show my residency card when leaving the USA by Delta at CVG more than once as I was not returning to the USA and was on my way BACK to Spain.

How can someone LIE about how long they will be there when they have a return ticket for 6 months later? I really don't understand where advice like this comes from.

This is now bordering on the absurdly boring re-hash of nothing new.

If she has all the bases covered as required by the UK for a six month stay, I assume she will be able to complete her dream.

skyking - Just because you haven't experienced something, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I'm relating an actual experience as are Isabel and lincasanova.

hooam- her? okay...

alan- no it's not in South Bank, never heard of the place. The flat is in a very safe small village. Almost, if not everyone, is employed and makes decent money to have a nice house. A lot of the houses can sell from up to 550k. The area is quiet, nothing like the city. x

Josser- I'm taking a year off. I will start going to uni in 2013.

isobel- I agree, I could never lie to immigration. If they reject me cause my stay is too long or whatever, then so be it. I rather get turned down for telling the truth than for lying!

I have no advice to offer but do hope that Dobby comes back and writes about her UK adventure. I would be interested not because I don't like you and want to call you out, I don't even know you, but I find this post to be amusing and entertaining. After all, maybe you are a blogger and that is how you make your money. Maybe your employer is helping out with the accommodations but not the whole bill. You never know and so many possiblities.

I do agree with skyking. Most people here are older so try posting on lonely planet. I do wish you good luck and come back and let us know how you did.

Dobby, i am 99.9999999999999% certain no one on here (or anywhere) is going to stalk you so please can tell us about this great village? maybe all the other villages of UK could learn from it, in which case we really need to know in order to get started. Go on...........

Hi Dobby

enjoy your trip - try not to alienate the locals, in the UK we are generally a sarcastic bunch and our favourite hobby is to take the mickey out of people (the more we like you, the more we do it) so don't go flying off the handle out of offence at perceived rudeness, that isn't. 'Being a good sport' and joining in is important.

On that note, if that's your real name, it might provoke a few comments/sniggers as it was the name of a character in a comedy show called Peep Show. see clips http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZUNBPlGt-k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEDZeRFCq3A

Has no one else looked at Dobby's profile, pretty sure this member of "planet Earth" is a young man, but whatever. Enjoy the village, where you know that pretty much everyone is employed. Tiny bit, teeny, of curiosity as to what will keep you entertained for 6 months there, other than spending a lot of time waiting for transportation, or sitting on said transport, but again, whatever.

Maybe he's going to Brigadoon.

Gotcha!
I have just consulted a New Englander, a Californian and two Texans and they all say that an American student would never use "uni".
I quote from the Texan "I think that if you generalize about where you're taking your higher education in this country you use the word College if even where you're going is a University. University is almost always reserved for the full name of the institution. As in, Going to University of Colorado, or even more likely UC (California being just Berkeley). Here you drop even the U or C bit unless you want to be formal and or if making something clear. Otherwise you use the standard abbreviation for that institution even if it's no longer totally correct. You go to Santa Cruz, or Santa Barbara, but UCLA or USC (no I won't do a Sue. . It's San Jose State or San Francisco State *because of course the University of San Francisco is a private school and is usually referred to as USF. My alma mater is of course just Santa Clara (or sometimes in print SCU)"
Our shelled friend is a young English bloke extracting the Michael. Nice try and fun while it lasted

Oh you are so right about the word 'uni', not used by American teens. Curious and curioser.

Have we reached the saturation point yet??? "Uni" indeed..Have attended 2 US universities and 1 Canadian one and( graduated from each) never heard "uni" except from an exchange student..You guessed it...the UK!!!

Dobby could also be Australian, uni is the common term there. We use it in this house as DH is Australian and we are lazy and it is shorter than saying university which is what Canadians typically use, not college.

Dobby, when you pass through Passport control they will scan your passport and they also take in the little piece of paper (blue or white I forget) so they will know (electronically) when you should be leaving. They need you address so they can come and get you. (well more likely write to you)

Peter_S_Aus, I haven't the patience to follow these threads but checked in here at the end today to see where the discussion had gone. Just wanted you to know that I got your reference to the Road to Wigan Pier. I just wish the OP would have that kind of learning experience. He may need to find himself Down and Out in Paris and London before he learns anything, though.

No, I am really American. I started using ''uni'' because I heard it on tv shows. x derrrrr

Ackislander, thanks for picking up the reference to what is probably the most depressing book that I have ever read. It makes Down and Out etc look like a gleeful romp by comparison.

Hope out Turtle friend does not find himself doing chalk drawings on the pavement for pennies, and moving from spike to spike.

Ah well, the confidence (some would say arrogance) of youth …

I imagine that someone will correct me if I am wrong. I believe that everyone needs a visa to enter the UK unless they are UK citizens. The visa is may be given in advance – for instance in the case of a long stay like a student or working visa.

Otherwise the visa is given on arrival, in the case of tourists, by way of a stamp in the passport.

I don’t know what the typical duration of a tourist visa is – maybe Immigration automatically allow a one month visa, or maybe a six month visa. If a six month visa is given automatically, then Turtle has no problems. If it is given for less than six months, then he/she has a problem, because either the visa must be extended, or Turtle resides in the UK without a visa. Residing in the UK without a visa is probably not a very good idea, because it is breaking the law. That may lead to deportation, which is not a good look.

Maybe Turtle can take a trip to Schengen, and then return to the UK, thereby gaining a fresh tourist visa – assuming that Immigration do not examine his/her passport to see if a previous visa has been given, and maybe breached.

Telling Immigration that you are staying for two weeks, when the intent is to stay for six months is a really bad idea.

Just my humble opinion, hopefully polite enough for turtle to not take offence. It is not intended to be rude or sassy, mate.

>no it's not in South Bank, never heard of the place.<<

But
>> The flat is in a very safe small village. Almost, if not everyone, is employed and makes decent money to have a nice house. A lot of the houses can sell from up to 550k. The area is quiet, nothing like the city.<<

Does not compute.

Dobby-derrr???

do u mean duh????

(i would say derr i have terrible spelling and am English)

I am amazed Dobby has done enough research or has connections to rent a flat in a village about 3 hours from London but does not know enough about the official requirements for entry to the UK. I hope which ever TV company makes the programme about the UKBF is filming when she arrives at which ever airport and we see the consequences of poor research. Good luck Dobby. One word of warning be somewhat careful about the slang you pick up from watching British TV it's not always clear to anyone from abroad what is meant.

>>I started using ''uni'' because I heard it on tv shows.<<

Which one - "Home and Away"?

Patrick, Patrick, nobody on "Home and Away" goes to university. You are clearly confused with that well known doco about the Australian way of life, "Neighbours".

I suspect this is probably a troll, but a very entertaining one. Keep it up, Dobby! Lots of people are enjoying this thread. For everyone else, don't take yourselves too seriously!

tipsy- Wow another jealous hater added to my list. Finding a flat, and choosing which places I wanted to visit while in the UK was a lot easier than finding out it takes a lot of work to make it actually happen. Before even making an account on this site I went to UK Border and did do research. But it doesn't hurt to ask more questions on here. I even read what stuff to bring to immigration if I choose not to get a visa. Get your facts straight before bullying others. Have a good day!

patrick- no it was Skins and The Inbetweeners

>>Patrick, Patrick, nobody on "Home and Away" goes to university.<<

Well, they do, vaguely (like they do everything else). Or sometimes in the way Australian soap characters "go to Queensland".

Or indeed as the OP may grace our shores.

More paranoia! So everyone who doesn't instantly agree with you is jealous? I don't think so.

But anyone with this screen name is most likely a troll.

Sounds like a Harry Potter/Mean Girls Geek laid up with a broken leg and a big imagination. No, I'm not jealous and I don't hate you. There is only one time in your life (the age you are now) when the world can revolve around you (because you don't have to be responsible for anyone else). Enjoy yourself!

Hi Dobby,
(and wondering where the moderator is on this site?)

So sorry for the rudeness of some others and the silliness of strangers deciding to judge who you are, why you want to travel and your vocabulary! Your question is perfectly reasonable and one I have wrestled with myself. If you are coming as a tourist you can stay for six months no worries, no visa if you have that RT ticket and money in the bank. I have stayed on the six month visa several times when writing or traveling and was stopped only once at the Gare Du Nord UK immigration when traveling back through Paris. Although we were allowed back in that officer said we needed a visa as we had actually done two back-to-back six month stays with several weeks back home and travel outside the EU but when we checked later—we did not.

Also a word to those wondering why an 18 year old who is clearly an Anglophile wants to visit the UK before college—why not? How is that different from a Brit gap year teen visiting Australia? She'll figure it out. Also (another word!) many American parents come to "see" where their children will be staying for their semester (s) abroad not because they worry but because it presents a terrific opportunity for them to travel with a focus and it is great fun to visit their nearly grown children in their own 'foreign' setting, creating what might be the last real family adventure before they are too cool and too old. Personally I think it is a wonderful practice for Americans who might in their own never travel abroad. It opens doors, creates memories and in fact brings some apparently welcome revenue into the UK.

Dobby-you likely don't need a UK local bank account as your atm card will suffice to withdraw cash and you can use a free service like XE Trade to transfer $ to UK £ if you need to put down deposits.

Enjoy your travels.

Why is a moderator needed for this thread? None of Fodors' rule have been violated? This is a pretty tame thread and one that makes for a good read.

Peter S - no Americans don't need a visa to enter the UK. We don't need a visa for almost anyplace in europe (except Russia that I am aware of). We can stay in the UK for 6 months without a visa - and 90 days in Schengen. This is considered normal tourism. If we want to stay longer we do have to get a visa - student (with proof of enrollment in a legitimate school), work (if our emplyers send us or we have VERY special skills - as opera singer etc) or other permanent (for wealthy retired meeting a lot of requirements).

That's what so strange about this post - no visa is needed. Why this boo boo thinks having one will help if he, she or it doesn't meet requirements (ongoing ticket, proof of financial resources to support oneself and no intention to remain beyond 6 months). Immigration does look very carefully at young people who may not meet the requirements.

But I strngly suspect that this person is 1) not american and 2) not going anywhere. If he or she were actually planning a trip they wouldn't have all this time to make ridiculous posts.

A moderator is needed because the turtle is obviously a troll.

Let's return to the oiginal question:

" Should I Get A Visa?"

No

Our work here is done.

Amen to that!!!

have a great trip, Dobby! Cheers...

opus - Thanks, you and like 2 others are the only ones who actually read and answered my question.

brito- I'm not a troll. I really am starting my trip at the end of summer. I don't understand how anyone thought I was one but whatever. x

bbyyyyyyyeeee! xx

Dobby in-spite of your comment that I must hate you, I don't I am just, like many other posters, concerned that you are unaware of many of problems you may encounter. Here is one I've thought of. You come back to your apartment/flat after a long day out, it's dark and you go to put the light on, nothing happens, can you find the fuse box? Can you then change the fuse and find the correct circuit breaker? The neighbours when you knock on their doors are all either out or not answering the door. What will you do, calling an out of hours electrician is going to cost even if you have the phone number on your cell phone. Another problem, you manage to lock yourself out of your flat. Try getting a locksmith at any time of day, again these I will admit unlikely but can happen. Are you used to living on your own, in a strange environment, OK you speak English but the way life is different. I would be prepared for some costly phone bills, unless you can arrange for Skype to be installed or you have it already.

I look forward to the trip report when Dobby comes back and tells us what a clever boy he is and how we all know nothing about the UK, especially those of us who live here.

or not.

Annhig, me too. I will certainly make interesting reading to us Brits

And s/he can afford that extra pasty now, as well.

Tipsygus-I totally forgot about the wonderful electrical system in older buildings with having to "top off" continually. My son living in London constantly had his electricity go out when people were working(construction) in the area too-what a pain!

Other problems-
Hoping that he/she doesn't have their wallets taken with all of their important stuff lost?
Or bank/ATM that doesn't take your bank card or better yet eats it?
If you don't have a washer in your apartment be prepared to pay a heck of alot of money to do a load of wash-think around $6 USD at the laundromat.
The price of train tickets into London or any other place if you don't plan ahead.

Sorry Dobby but I have had so many of your types on my flights overseas through the years that know it all and then later find out you don't. People on this thread were trying to help you but instead you insulted everyone. I still think that this is a troll thread?

dutyfree- You keep assuming that I don't know all of this ahead of time. You think if I don't have a wash/dryer in my flat, (which I do) , that I will have to PAY to get them washed? Really? You think someone doesn't know basic information like that? I already looked at train ticket pirices, and I only plan on getting a 6 hour train ride once a week, or once every 2 weeks. I'm very good with keeping a close eye on my important stuff, so don't you lose sleep over it. It's know it all little comments like this, is what I don't like. You clearly didn't read the whole thread, because you would know I didn't insult everyone. I won't bother reading anything from you after this. Your opinion is not needed. Good day x

DTT, This is a very sincere question. You are basing in a small village three hours from London, so you really can't take much advantage of all the museums, shows, etc. in London or meeting other young people in London. Your plan is a six hour train ride once a week, perhaps only every two weeks. You have not indicated any plan for car rental. You indicated that people in your village are all working, so they will be busy. What are you going to do with all the time you will be spending in such a small village? If it were a beautiful setting and you were a painter or you were writing a book and needed quiet time, I could see it, but you have not mentioned either of those as interests and you are young. Do you just enjoy spending time alone in one place? Won't you get bored and kind of lonely in such an isolated situation?

Just curious, if you are moving near London, and near being 3 hours away, and you say you are only planning on that train trip once a week, or maybe every two weeks, what exactly are your plans for six months? No school, no job, no friends in this little village, I am honestly curious what you plan to do.

socaltraveler, can't believe we posted almost the same question at exactly the same time.

And we both asked so nicely too .

Maybe Dobby (and I'm fairly sure he is a young man) has sussed out the local bus schedules and will spend his time exploring the countryside, which could be almost anywhere in England. It's only a one hour train trip London to Grantham for heaven's sake!

At some point I recall he/she said the village was three hours from London. Still actually interested, thinking DTT might have some unique interests.

<<You think someone doesn't know basic information like that?>>

Well, yeah, when you say <<I found an apartment near London that I can afford>> and then it turns out the apartment is in a village 3 hours by train to London, we DO think you don't know "basic information like that."

>>>>and I'm fairly sure he is a young man<<<

I don't know any young man that would say/type:

" bbyyyyyyyeeee! xx "

That is more like a middle school girl.

-_____-

Dobby's writing certainly seems like that of a girl. Not a woman; a girl.

Dtt, I asked a sincere question as did Socaltraveler.

Is this -____- your answer to us or a response to other comments?

I'm not up on some of the lastest symbols. Sorry to have to ask you to please translate.

With responses like this, perhaps I don't need an answer to my question. Have a wonderful adventure, Dobby, whoever you are. Hope travel is a maturing experience for you.

Just to go back to the health insurance thing...although you might be totally healthy, you need to consider unanticipated problems...appendicitis? hit by a car? broken ankle? Just some food for thought.

Just realised that some of my replies have been removed.

What is wrong with pointing out that if you do get hit by a bus or catch some nasty lurgy off a toilet seat then the NHS won't cover family visiting you as you lie in a coma or for medical reparation - whether passenger or cargo

give up folks - either the OP is an obnoxious little ..... or a troll.

either way, s/he is not worth either out time or our our effort.

annhig- no one asked for your time or ''effort''. You can just not click on the thread itself and be done with it. But no, you keep coming back for more cause you can't get enough of me xx

jane- I will look into health insurance if I need it to cross the border. x

sassa- That's why I'm staying there for 6 months so I can do all those things. But I rather spend my time with the locals than hang out at typical tourist areas.

I've stayed out of this until now. You need to get health insurance whether or not UK immigration ask for it.
As others have said the NHS will treat you for free to a certain extent, but you could, even at your tender age, become seriously ill and need expensive hospital treatment. The NHS will not sponsor you (quite rightly!) for that treatment - you will be presented with a bill. Being ill in a foreign country is lonely and miserable. Good insurance will pay for a loved one to join you, and if necessary offer post hospital care.
I know at 18 you think you are immortal, but you are not, and should cater for the possibility that some accident or illness happens.

Have a good trip and enjoy your time in the UK, in whatever small village you have found. I hope you make some good friends and are enriched by your experience.
Please do come back and le us know how you are getting on.

thanks hetismij2 I found insurance that will cover me for 185 days for $46

Dobby it's not a case of getting health insurance "if you have to to cross the border" You will need it hetismij2 has explained you will get emergency treatment, and it's not my definition of emergency, or yours its the NHS authorities definition and if it's not an emergency and here I'm thinking dental treatment, you know raging toothache and as I said in an earlier post being able to fix the little things that can so easily go wrong. Would you be able to fix. a dripping tap. change a light bulb, know which bulb to buy if you had to replace it. If not how will you find someone who can, I know you ring your landlord. Who may well say find someone.
But then, at the risl of being told again "I hate you" you know all this. You will have the darker evenings to contend with and your fellow villagers will have their own leisure time activities to keep them occupied. Not all villages welcome newcomers with open arms and are ready to entertain you. I hope you are prepared to entertain yourself some evenings. But who am I to tell you all this you already know it. However having said all this I really hope you enjoy your six months in the UK and please we would a trip report, during your stay.

Update So I finally called U.S. Embassy and they said I didn't need a visa, only a passport. So I am really excited, and haha to all my haters. I booked my flight too! BYE! <3

Excuse me - but isn;t that what everyone told you all along - and you refused to believe.

Can't believe the troll is back!

Normally I would say have a great trip, but to Mr. Haha & BYE, why are you even posting again?
Once again, missing the point.

who cares? no one here, I am pretty sure.

What a kn*b!!

Yeah, but how come so many of us swallow the bait and get hooked in?

It's not like I didn't believe you guys, I just wanted to hear it from the horse's mouth. Gosh

Is that why you made 73 posts telling us what jerks we all were? And waited all this time to ask the officials?

You really need to find something more productive to do with your time.

A horse who was available all along.

DTT: I just ran across this thread and clicked on your sign-on name.

My question has nothing to do with your upcoming trip to England.

You mentioned that your favorite destination is "Cali". Is that "Cali, Columbia" or short for "California"? If it's short for California, where did you go? And what did you like/dislike about our state?

You have an interesting way of writing and I am just curious how you found our state.

Have a safe and enjoyable trip to England!

easytraveler: Don't encourage the twerp . . .

Wow, if I didn't have anything to do with my time I would be on here all day everyday. But I'm not I'm doing something with my life, unlike you. And I didn't call anyone a jerk! I've been really nice but people want to be mean cause I'm younger than them. >.>

easy- Cali is short for California. The people there were really nice to me, and the everyone is hot I love the weather and food too.

"easy- Cali is short for California. "

No, it isn't. Both easytrveler and I actually live in California

"And I didn't call anyone a jerk! I've been really nice but people want to be mean cause I'm younger than them."

No, you said things like:

>>If you're not going to be helpful than buzz off<<

>>I will be skipping everything you say from now on since you're of no help. Goodbye<<

>>miss if you're not going to be helpful then don't comment<<

>>You're all jealous<<

>>you bullies continue to hate for no reason<<

>>Another hater *yawn*<<

>>tipsy- Wow another jealous hater added to my list<<

>>You clearly didn't read the whole thread, because you would know I didn't insult everyone. I won't bother reading anything from you after this. Your opinion is not needed. Good day<<

Not a 'jerk' in the bunch . . . But TONS of bad attitude.

Your act won't wear well in the UK. They will chew you up and spit you out - and you won't know what hit you . . .

DTT: Thanks for the straightforward answer to my question.

janisj: Peace. Peace.

et: You seem to adopt all the stray puppies on Fodors and take them under your wing. Honestly, Dobby isn't worth your time/concern.

s/he is a troll.

I think I'm going to be a bit bad here. Dobbie the Tortoise is going to perfidious Albion, and probably won't write a trip report (or if she writes, it'll be a tripe report).
But we do need a report, after so many helpful posts.

I can imagine Dobbie finding her apartment - likely to be a windowless garret - in rural England, a somewhat remote, two busses a day to the nearby market town, on Thursdays. Otherwise zip in terms of transport. The local theme song plays in the background:

I'm going into Tow Law
For what I need
Chain for the ripsaw
Killer for the weed
The dog's at the back door
Leave him be
Don't feed him Jack
And don't wait up for me

Going into Tow Law
To fuel my fire
Shells for the twelve
And razor wire
The dog's at the back door
Leave him be
Don't do Jack
And don't wait up for me

So bad so bad
So bad so bad

So bad so bad
So bad so bad.

Our favourite tortoise discovers that the legal drinking age in England is 18. Whoo Hoo. Hit that local bar. Local bar has smoke stained ceilings, open fire, bucolic gents drinking a pint of keg. She is totally ignored. It all seems like Little Britain.

Ah well.

Enjoy. And, for the record, I am not jealous.

When did I say I was a girl or guy? And no the supermarket and post office etc etc, is a 19 min walk away from my flat. Shows how much you know. If I do go out partying and drinking in bars it will be in the busy city Also my flat isn't a ''garret'', it's a roomy normal sized 1 bedroom without furniture. I will have to get my own air bed, mini fridge, mircowave, and vacuum when I move in. Boo..

To quote the original post. <<<I don't have a boyfriend or friends/family in UK. >>> So our tortoise may be gay, maybe hetero, or may be bi. Who cares - that's not the issue. But I have never become used to using "s/he" as a pronoun.

I could recommend a very good instructional book for life in rural England - "Cold Comfort Farm" by Stella Gibbons. It speaks of the joys of village life, the interesting people that one can meet, country traditions and habits. I would highly suggest that you obtain a copy -it will be a most valuable reference.

"Shows how much you know" well, I'm afraid that I don't know much about where you are spending your time in merrie England. Could be in Chipping Norton, Maidenhead, Taplow, the New Forrest or anywhere. 19 minutes form a supermarceti, maybe 19 leagues. Can't tell, because that's a secret

Click on my name some time and check out the fairly reasonable, mostly non-judgemental trip reports that I have written.

,

Fyi, from another CA resident, 'Cali' is not taken seriously, no matter how 'hot' you thought we were.

Enjoy England, stay there.

"Your act won't wear well in the UK. They will chew you up and spit you out - and you won't know what hit you . . ."

Janisj, we live in hope. If he/she is as obnoxious in verbal conversation as he/she is in the written word, he/she could end up getting a "Glasgow kiss" irrespective of where he/she is in the UK.

>>he/she could end up getting a "Glasgow kiss" irrespective of where he/she is in the UK<<

Depending on the circumstances, I think. More likely a sharp intake of breath, a severe tut and the silent treatment, until the flounce-out, when behind his/her back there may be a more or less audible "Some people!".

Though come to think of it, in quite a few small towns, any pub or club mainly for younger people might well spark the odd drink-fuelled punch-up on a weekend. But this is all assuming we're talking reality here.

janisj: et: You seem to adopt all the stray puppies on Fodors and take them under your wing. Honestly, Dobby isn't worth your time/concern.

s/he is a troll.

On adopting animals:
a) Much as I love our furry friends, I'm allergic to them

b) If I do adopt them, then they're not "strays" any more, are they?

I guess I just have a thing about what I characterize as "dragging a person over cobblestones", especially when it's a stranger and especially when it's a group attack.


As for the troll thing: there are any number of political trolls infinitely worse and having much worse "attitude" problems than the OP but who seem to be tolerated. Why is that?


As far as I'm concerned, I asked a straightforward question and got a straightforward answer, the furor over "Cali" notwithstanding. I understand that some get paroxysmal attacks of frustration whenever "Cali" or "Frisco" appear, but you must admit that there are plenty of people who use those terms, no matter how much the locals hate them. Those terms grate on my ears too.

DTT: almost all the posters who have tried to give you detailed and realistic information are either residents of England or are long-time travelers to Europe. On their behalf, I'd like to say that you should put your mind at ease regarding what they write, because they do have your best interests in mind.


And now, I'm off to see what other "stray puppies" I can adopt on Fodors.

Dobby, so I have to ask-are you and girl or a guy...as much as it doesn't really matter, i have to be honest and say it has got me curious now as to why you havn't just said which...go on tell us....

I've been really nice but people want to be mean cause I'm younger than them. >.>


no, they're being mean because you are really IRRITATING.

When you're young you can imagine that people are all 'jealous haters', but as you get older you realise that in fact people are most of the time utterly indifferent to you.

Hating just takes too much energy to waste on Internet forums.

annhig I'm only ''irritating'' cause you wish u could be me xx

Truly delusional....

Is this guy still here?

People are not jealous of you.

they are very happy they aren't you - and won;t have to suffer everything you will go through in life when you exhibit an attitude like this.

Most people here are adults and have matured beyond the point of having extremely overblown ideas of their own importance. they have real achievements - careers, family, contributions to society - they are not just "legends in their own minds".

Why in hell do I keep opening these posts? I know they are just going to piss me off --- It's like having a sore tooth you just can't stop poking with your tongue.

I’m hoping that Dobby gives the immigration officer on arrival in the UK similar lip and grief that he’s given this board. Maybe s/he will tell the officers that they are jealous or something like that.

And then have entry declined.

Dobby - legend in his own lunchtime.

Is 90 mins enough time for a connection? I spoke with my travel agent and she said I just have to board my next plane and not have to go through customs. But I'm still scared

Dobby - slow down.

what connection? where? from where to where? what airlines?

Probably the flight from Wichita to Fargo. No big deal, Anne.

peter- your ability to memorise the minutae of Dobby's trip is impressive.

if you're correct about Dobby's itinerary, then you're probably right.

Customs is for luggage. Immigration is for people.

And without knowing what flights - is your ongoing flight international or domestic. does the first flight land inthe UK or ??? Will you stay airside or actually enter a country?

And at many ariports you have to go through securty again to bord another plane.

Without details an answer would be useless.

Why in hell do I keep opening these posts? I know they are just going to piss me off ---
Why? I think they are hilarious.

My first stop is in another state, my second stop is in another country before I get to the U.K. I'm flying Delta all the way through. I should have just told my mom to get direct flight I was going to call the airport but wanted to ask here first since most of you act like you know it all.

Oye, we act like WE know it all? Naivete or chutzpah?

"I should have just told my mom to get direct flight."

Are you even old enough to play with the grownups?

Okay I will bite and ask you-you are either flying into CDG/Paris or possibly AMS/Amsterdam before you go to London? You are obviously on a codeshare flight( SKYTEAM) out of those cities because Delta does not fly inter Europe so possibly Air France or KLM?
So in answer to your question about 90 minutes-sometimes one is still waiting for a gate at CDG airport because of the traffic. If it is the airline's fault that you didn't make your connecting flight you will be placed on the next available flight to your destination which they will take care of.

If you are doing a transfer from either CDG or AMS you will not need to go through immigration or customs to transfer to the UK since the UK is not part of Schengen. So you stay in the non Schengen area and go to the gate there. You will go through security again, and they will remove from you any liquids you bought before you arrived in Europe that do not meet carry-on rules.
90 minutes will be fine if the transfer is at AMS, even though hit can take forever to taxi to the gate if you land on the Polderbaan runway.

If everything is on a single ticket the airline must put you on the first available to your destination, should you miss your connection due to your plane from the US being late. Normally flights from the US actually arrive early due to the favourable winds.

Actually, Heimdall, I did some introspection and decided I do know why these posts piss me off so much; they remind me of me.

When I was eighteen I was a know it all horses' ass. No old farts could tell me anything; I knew it all. When I think back, I must have been insufferable. Luckily for me, or more correctly luckily for my family, I joined the Marine Corps the day after graduating from high school. A couple of drill instructors soon gave me life lessons in my relative depth of knowledge compared to that of the rest of the world population.

My hope is that living on his/her own in a foreign land will result in some beneficial attitude adjustment, and that he/she rejoins this Forum as a valued member who has paid his/her dues.

lol! Nukesafe, we've all gone through that phase, but Dobby seems to be an extreme example. Marine Corps basic training would do wonders, but I doubt s/he would last the course.

Dobby's posts have been a great source of entertainment for me over the last five weeks, and I hope they keep coming.

We do NOT act like we know it all! But there are some things we do know - and that includes not having our mommy make our plane resrvations.

And which airport connection are you adking about? And WHO did you plan on calling at the airport? The control tower? The gift shop?

And you still haven;t given us any help.

If you are trying to make a connection in a small US airport that may be enough time. If you are chaning planes at O'Hare or EWR your chances of making it are not great!

The same holds true for the international connection. If it's a small airport - like Dublin - you may make it. If it's CDG I don;t give much for yuor chances.

Perhaps you shuold go and yell at you mommy for not making your trip perfect.

(Sorry - I went to europe for the first time when I was 19 - with my boyfriend - and my "mommy" didn't even know my itinerary when I left - she found out as she got the post cards. But then I was paying for the trip myself - since I was a grown-up - putting myself thorugh college on scholarships, loans and working two jobs - not a child supported by my parents.)

Dobby's posts have been a great source of entertainment for me over the last five weeks, and I hope they keep coming. >>

How i agree Heimdall. i look forward to my dose of being told that I am rude, jealous, and all the rest of it, when really, all any of us as trying to do is to HELP.

Debby said "So I finally called U.S. Embassy and they said I didn't need a visa".

If you are USA citizen and want to go to England, I suppose that you have to call Great Britain Embassy in USA for clarification, and not US Embassy in GB.

Compared to you, toots, we DO know it all.

Yes I called the U.K. Embassy in USA

My second stop is in Amsterdam and I have to check in cause I couldn't get reserved seating for that part of the flight. I have like an hour and 20 mins.

And what is wrong with having my mom pay and make arrangements for my flight?? >_>

And what is wrong with having my mom pay and make arrangements for my flight?? >>

nothing at all, dobby, except that it rather undermines the impression you have so far tried to give that you are a very mature and independent young person.

and perhaps if you have organised it yourself, you'd have thought about these connection problems before you booked.

anyway, if you go to the Schipol website, you will be able to see which gate you might arrive at, and where you might leave from. no gate is supposed to be more than 10 mins from another, so you should be ok from that point of view.

as for customs/immigration, if all you have to do is to reserve a seat, and your luggage is checked through to your eventual destination, then you won't need to collect your luggage. you may need to go through passport control but that shouldn't take too long. when we went to south africa through schipol, we only had an hour, and managed it with loads of time to spare.

This thread is better than watching EastEnders lately.

I don't line up with a love of Schipol at all, my experience has been 1. the fog seems to hang over the place so flights are delayed and 2. the queues can get very long, and 3. finally the shear size of the aircraft skirting area means you can lose 10 minutes just taxiing in from the runway. So if it is Schipol then I'd be more careful.

Still since we don't know the time or the airport it's a bit like having to guess the question as well as the answer. Even Pythagorus didn't make his pupils do this.

The airport(s) and airline(s) are top secret . . . Just like where the fantasy village/rental are. After all, we are all so jealous that if it got out, we would stalk dobby . . .

jj - you're right - I'd forgotten that! sshh - mum's the word!

but s/he does say Amsterdam, and I'm not aware of there being another airport besides Schipol in that area of Holland.

Could be Amsterdam, Pennsylvania or Amsterdam, Virginia.

http://amsterdamstoriesusa.wordpress.com/the-amsterdams-2/

After all, there are at least 10 Amsterdams in the US alone.

janisj - I wouldn't call anyone jealous if people stopped being rude to me. For example you! My flat is real, the village is real, and my whole trip is real too. And I did say I was going through Delta, so I am telling the truth. Why would I make this all up?! -_________-

Why would you have such an outrageous attitude??

Just general weirdness?? Boredom??

Or a massive sense of entitlement created by what are obviously the ultimate in helicopter parents?

Even if posters here were being rude to you, why would you assume they were jealous? Some of the posters LIVE in the UK, why would they be jealous of what sounds like a pretty boring trip?

This person aka Dobby is going to the UK for six months, and it would appear, doing some sort of "immersion" thing. In the same way as people go to Italy or France, stay in a small place and have no choice but to engage and learn the language.

Now I doubt that Dobby is going to a small village to learn English, but maybe some of the patterns of bahaviour, modes of addressing others, and the general "reserve" that one can find in England will rub off on him (or her - that is still an open question).

Maybe Dobby can discover some sort of bucolic rural England, be far from the madding crowd, maybe meet up with Tess or the Mayor of Casterbridge, have a brief fling with an older woman, Bathsheba Everdene or an older man, Seargeant Troy, perhaps, because contrary to contemporary reports, he did not drown.

Maybe help with harvesting hops in summer in Kent, drink ginger beer or ale in the shade of a hedge. Collect sheafs of wheat and make stooks, shoot a few rabbits, a little coarse fishing on the Ouse - I don't see Dobby with a Hardy rod and fly case casting for salmonoid species. Maybe bowl an over or two on the green, or volunteer to roll the pitch. It could be a very valuable experience, being part of rural England.

But I fear that Dobby will, even though he's doing carry on baggage, have a steamer trunk of attitude shipped to the UK. And he'll be as suspicious of the people tat he meets, assume that they envy him, and quickly gain the reputation of being a total prat at the Village Arms. Little Britain - "I'm the only Yank in the village".

>>Maybe Dobby can discover some sort of bucolic rural England<<

If that's the plan, then perhaps a crash course of listening to old episodes of The Archers on the BBC website might be in order.

As s/he is so unwilling to share what gender s/he is, I'm guessing s/he is a pre-op transsexual and this trip is part of living her/his life as the opposite gender prior to his/her operation.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Rural England is after all a much more tolerant place for all kinds of eccentricities than red-neck America.

If you don't have a boarding pass for the leg from Amsterdam to wherever you are flying to there are self service transfer machines at Schiphol - just follow the intstructions on teh machine and you will be issued your boarding pass. nI can't see why you won't get a seat on that leg at check-in in the US though.
You cannot reserve a seat on the plane until 24 hours before departure, but if you check in on line then or do so at your departing airport you should be given a seat and boarding pass for your onward flight.
You won't go through passport control, and will stay in the same part of the airport since you are flying on to a non Schengen country.
You will go through security at the gate. The gate number will be displayed on the screen all over the terminal.
Have a look at www.Schiphol.nl for maps of the airport and advice on transfers.

Rural England is after all a much more tolerant place for all kinds of eccentricities than red-neck America.>>

I think that Dobby might test the patience of the most tolerant community.

I think that Dobby might test the patience of the most tolerant community.>>

That was a bit tongue-in-cheek. However, in my own little village of 900 people, a little over a mile from Hebden Bridge, a teenage American transsexual, though a bit unusual, wouldn't stand out that much. Though if s/he is male-to-female some of the lesbians could be a bit hostile.

However, in my own little village of 900 people, a little over a mile from Hebden Bridge, a teenage American transsexual, though a bit unusual, wouldn't stand out that much. Though if s/he is male-to-female some of the lesbians could be a bit hostile.>>

LOL, mjdh, was your village the protoype for Little Britain's "the only gay in the village" sketch then?

i don't think that I could say the same about my cornish village - in another 30 years, maybe!

<< was your village the prototype for Little Britain's "the only gay in the village" sketch then? >>

Very possibly. The Hebden Bridge area in general is certainly very quirky. A consequence of industrial decline meaning cheap housing attracting a lot of 'alternative' arty types, then a large lesbian contingent. It's a fun place to live. I don't know any transsexuals in the area but I'm sure there are some.

Sometimes you don't get a seat for a flight when the flight is oversold so the airlines bank on no shows on the day to give you one of those seats. Since he/she is flying KLM from Amsterdam that might be one of the reasons. Probably one of the reasons why the mother figure booked it through several cities was because they waited too long and all of the nonstops to London were totally booked?

For the last time I'm not going to freaking London! ):< And I my mom didn't get direct flight cause it was the cheapest. Next time I'm going to ask my step dad for help cause he's not worried about what's ''cheaper''. And to that other person my trip is NOT boring, just because I don't tell you every freaking detail of my freaking life doesn't give you the right to be passive aggressive.

peter- I could never shoot a rabbit :/

“I could never shoot a rabbit.”

Does that reflect an inability to shoot or a disinclination to shoot? You may find that some villages in England have a strong contingent of people who participate in the so-called “blood spots”.

Blood sports, in the English vernacular, does not refer to cage fighting, Ultimate Fight Club or pugilism under the Marquis of Queensbury rules. It refers to hunting, shooting, fishing, use of ferrets and terriers for catching badgers, those sort of pursuits.

If you don’t have too much luggage, you might consider that a pair of Purdeys would form a useful part of your travelling kit. Not cheap, but so worthwhile. Ditto jodhpurs, pink jacket and a suitable hat.

And Dobby, it is my pleasure to be able introduce you to the quaint customs of rural England.

Oh one other thing. No matter which airline you fly with, there is absolutely no need to tip the pilot.

(an "In-joke" for Foders aficionados)

"For the last time I'm not going to freaking London! "

Are you sure?? How are you getting from the States to your imaginary flat in the imaginary village 3 hours from London? Jet liners don't land in many villages . . .

My village is a 30 min cab ride from the airport. HAHA!

Not sure why I bother . . . BUT you have a problem. If your 'village' is a 30 minute cab ride from the airport AND 3 hours from London . . . well that is a bit of a contradiction. Just sayin'

Available airports in England:
EMA
QCY
SQZ
ORM
NQT
WTN
ETR
BFC
QFO
LKZ
LTN
KNF
MHZ
NWI
CLF
QUY
SEN
STN
CBG
BEQ
BQH
LHR
NHT
LCY
MME
NCL
BWF
CAX
LPL
BLK
MAN
ABB
BBP
BEX
BZZ
FRK
LGW
SOU
FAB
OXF
ESH
QLA
LYX
MSE
KRH
ODH
RCS
QUG
BBS
GLO
EXT
FFD
FZO
BOH
LYE
NQY
PZE
LEQ
ISC
TSO
UPV
BRS
YEO
CVT
BHX
DSA
HUY
LBA
HRT
SZD
Not sure which are within three hours of London.

On the other hand, a 30 minute taxi ride from Stansted could get you to somewhere that isn't that easy to get to London from. I'm not up on the US air bases in that part of the world, but that might be a possible explanation for some of the apparently inexplicable inconsistencies that caused us to doubt the initial story.

Peter: But 95% of those airports . . . don't get flights from the States.

But Janis, he is flying from Amsterdam. Maybe..

Or not . . . maybe

Maybe it's the time to stop to consider this uneducated and rude young person, who does not expect answers from us, but looks for opportunities to show us his "good behavior".
Leave him alone with his secret plans and wish him success!

So why are you still posting here Dobby? Every time you come back, you're even ruder than before. Just ask your stepdad for help, perhaps he's funding the 30 minute cab rides you're ready to take to the village 3 hours from London. If you don't get lost in some airport you refuse to name.

OK, swapping my hat to that of Miss Marple, our shelled friend is going to a village in Norfolk where he should feel at home.
Norwich is about three miles from London and there are flights to Norwich Airport from Amsterdam. QED

I meant three hours from London, of course.
I still think he or she is a middle aged professor studying reactions to trolls

Is a £350pm Apartment common in Norfolk? because it barely covers a room in a shared house in a not particularly attractive area of Southampton,

234 posts on a thread opened by a poster whose profile offers "I am not a freaking troll" as a quote and starts the post with "please no sassy or rude comments".

God help, no wonder the Chinese are wiping floor with us all.

Belted. People are having fun, that's all.
Willit, we haven't heard that he has actually seen the flat.
Perhaps he is staying in one of these bijou East Anglian residences http://tinyurl.com/boo3ec6

I still think it's near Middlesbrough, with a flight from Amsterdam to Teesside Airport.

Much cheaper than East Anglia.

Though the locals have webbed feet and are possibly not as welcoming. And the smell of the ICI chemical plant takes some getting used to

Oh, I see.

I used to think that chasing the flock round the field with a big chopper was fun. Maybe I'm getting old.

>>I used to think that chasing the flock round the field with a big chopper was fun.<<

Is that a confession or a boast?

Neither really, how else would you expect me to get a nice piece of lamb shank?

To me, a chopper is a helicopter. Is that what you use, bg?

what is a min cab? Is there a clue as to origins in that "min"?

Just ask your stepdad for help, perhaps he's funding the 30 minute cab rides...

And quite possibly the entire 6 month's trip as well. If I were the stepdad I would be looking for a place s/he could stay even longer.

PatrickLondon, Dobby won't be flying in to a US air base.

Willit-are you living in Southampton as my daughter lives there

Dobby: You certainly have some of us old timers looking for our eyeglasses in order to be able to read what you have posted and our false teeth so we can gnash our teeth at your youthful ways.

Way to go!

When you get to wherever you're going, continue in the same vein! Those Brits sure have a lot of strange habits! You need to bring them into the 21st century!

Those Brits sure have a lot of strange habits! You need to bring them into the 21st century!>>

like what, et? apart from posting here of course!

Mimar

Chopper : can be an axe, or....

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chopper&page=2

I would refer you to item no 8.

God, do I love the term tummy banana.

Also dump those silly Berlitz or Baedekers, to get by today you need

http://www.urbandictionary.com/

Or

http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/

Or

Nawcom.com/swearing/lowland_scots

Alternatively

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlUUXz7ZScA&feature=youtube_gdata_player

UK airports with direct flights from Amsterdam, that aren't freakin London (in it's broadest sense) are:
INV, ABZ, EDI, GLA, NCL, MME, LBA, MAN, LPL, BHX, HUY, NWI, STN, CWL, FZO, EXT, and SOU.
I excluded the Northern Irish ones.

>like what, et? apart from posting here of course!<

For godsake Ann don't get her started.

weegie, you're right.

but I just can't resist speculating what she thinks we get up to - scold-dunking? ferret-wrestling? putting people in stocks? [now there's an idea!]

It is diabolical the way in which the UK is trying to promote LH f***ing R as some sort of "answer to everything" hub. It has just become some sort of filtering centre for the plods at Mi5 to take pictures of the world and its mother.

All our other airports operate at 50% capacity whilst Heathrow wants another 5 runways. Before long you will have to change in London to get the bus from Castle Douglas to Dumfries.

Hetis

How could we forget the LPL to AMS easyjet Ganja Express.

hetismij2: we have no idea s/he is actually flying through A'dam (even though s/he said so) . . . Its all top secret, remember.

S/he doesn't want us to know where s/he will be.

S/he doesn't want us to know where s/he will be.>>

jj - it's mutual!

, how indeed b_g. Not for much longer though.

I was looking at getting to my aunts funeral - it was more than twice the price to fly to BHX than LHR, and to do it as a day return would have cost me nearly €700. I'm having to give the funeral a miss due to other things, but that price was enough to stop me I'm afraid.

"I can't resist speculating"

Well she has plenty of subject matter for activities that the numpties down south get up to.

Morris Dancing
Bog snorkeling
libor fixing
Royal Pageants
Gurning (locals in Egremont don't have to try that hard)
Cheese rolling
Maypole dancing
4 4 2 under Hodgson

All very strange stuff.

Hetis

In the days when the pound was way overvalued, we bought an Audi from the main dealer in Amsterdam and drove it back. Paid about £10 for a one way with easyjet from "the Pool".

Sitting on the flight was like being on the set of "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels".

don't you get up to any funny stuff north of the border, b_g?

starting with those strange skirts the blokes wear, eschewing underwear in freezing temperatures, deep-frying confectionary, tossing tree-trunks, pretending there's a dinosaur in a lake, making music from blowing into a dead animal, etc. etc.

pots and kettles!

Beltedd-G (yes, I watch Countryfile too), you forgot dwyle-flonking and the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance.

>>PatrickLondon, Dobby won't be flying in to a US air base.<<

I wasn't suggesting that: but it might be that the village that's three hours from London but within a 30 minutes cab ride of a "London" airport is connected with one, so there might be some chance of verisimilitude in this scenario.

How in the world can you compare


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyheFru0wjw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

and

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrNBgkFZPOU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Pots and kettles, more like apples and oranges.

As for food

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yG0zN-LQTs&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Just look at the smile on his 2 star face.

b_g

I think you have made my point for me - thank you.

>Just look at the smile on his 2 star face.<

He looks like he's just eaten a small deep fried richard the Third.

Come in through Ireland, and you won't even need to go through immigration!

Weegie >>like what, et? apart from posting here of course!<<

For godsake Ann don't get her started.

Weegie: I was just going to say -

They drive on the wrong side of the road

They eat fish for breakfast - fish that has been dead for so long it's been so preserved that all you can taste is the preservatives but not the fish

They put some gad-orful thing called "Marmite" in everything

They drink their beer warm

They eat the strangest things like "Shepherd's Pie" which isn't really a pie, like apple pie (It's made with MEAT!!!) or something one dare not even look at called "Toad in a Hole"

Not to mention that terrible looking "clotted cream" - it looks as bad as it sounds [shudder]

They claim to speak English, but it's the strangest English you'll ever hear. They call a "baby carriage" a "pram". None of them speak proper Standard American.

(need I go on? )

>(need I go on? )<

Please do. I'm know we're all enthralled.

Is someone who doesn't love clotted cream really a human?

In the US there is no such thing - so how would Dobby/Debby know?

easy- toad in the hole is actually quite good >.>

patrick - My airport is not a London airport. I will even take pictures for when I get there, and post pictures of me in them. So all you haters, get ready and eat your words.

We all thought that Dobby / Debbie was being sent to England for gender re-assignment, given the somewhat dubious nature of his/her gender.

But now I get it.
Mom has put up the fare.
Step-dad is putting up some funds.
All to get their beloved out of their hair, and to get a dose of reality.

It looks as though the English may be on the receiving end of a little extraordinary rendition.

>>a little extraordinary rendition<<

Well, this extraordinary rendition might not be inappropriate for Dobby's travels:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw07CDid0JM

Sorry et-- but anyone who doesn't LOVE clotted cream is banished from posting. But you must be confusing it w/ something else if you think it looks weird . . .

janisj: clotted cream is that thing that you put on British bread, isn't it? Only they don't even know how to make bread. This thing they make is hard like a rock, they don't even call it bread, they call it by a strange name: a "scone". What kind of name is that?

You put a huge dollop of this clotted cream and another huge dollop of jam on the rock hard scone. and then you're supposed to eat it! [double shudder]

No, a scone is not bread, and they are not hard. The only 'hard' scone I've ever had was in San Francisco. Maybe that is where your confusion comes from. . .

More strange British habits:

In the same house, some of them live upstairs and some of them live downstairs. I suppose that's because their stairs aren't ever straight and the people who find themselves upstairs/downstairs are just too confused to try and find their way back again.

And this thing about having royalty! How ancient is that! Dobby, when you get there, you should tell them to get with the modern age and call their leader La Presidenta instead of "Queen" - that's so old-fashioned!

Talking about kings and queens, the British love to write about and make shows about one of their kings: Hank the Eighth. Apparently he had six wives and he wasn't even a Mormon!

As for the names of their kings, they are completely lacking in imagination. There's Hank the Eighth, Bill the Second, Dick the Third and Jack the Fifth - who was also Jack the First. It's usually always Hank, Bill, Dick, or Jack. No imagination.

There were so many Hanks that there was a British playwright called Bill Shake-A-Spear who kept writing plays about the various King Hanks. His wife claimed it was all much ado about nothing.

(Getting late, Betcha the Brits are all saying like their Queen Vicky "We are not amused". Good night. )

Currant scones are a southern thing.

North of the border, we have potato scones, toasted with butter. One of the reasons we are so healthy, the others being fried mars bars and Tennents Super. Be careful if you are invited for T in the park.

Wot? No Irn-Bru?

Hi ET,

I'm enjoying your posts about strange British habits! Now how about some strange American habits? I'm an American myself, so this isn't being "anti":

Setting the table with fork on the left, then using it with the right hand.

Spoiling a perfectly good drink by filling the cup with ice.

Circling the parking lot for 10 minutes to get a parking space 50 feet closer to the mall entrance...then walking half a mile or more between shops in the mall.

Anyone have some others, keeping it humorous please?

"looks like the English may be on the receiving end of an extraordinary renditon"

What like Celine Dion.

And, oh, ET, you forgot about Ted the seventh and Joe the sixth.

We are stuck with our monarchy but at least we show some imagination when it comes to voting. THREE main political parties and not a Daddy/Baby Bush amongst them.

Oh, I forgot. They also had a couple of King Chucks. There was a guy named Oliver who didn't like Chuck the First, so he got rid of him, but Oliver didn't want to be called King Olly, so he called himself the "Protector" or the "Terminator" or something like that. King Chuck's son didn't like Oliver, so he got rid of him and became King Chuck the Second.

And don't get me started on their weird sense of humor. There was a writer called Jerome K Jerome (see! Told ya they don't have any imagination where names are concerned! Who'd want to have a kid named Jerome Jerome?) who wrote about three men being in a boat. What's so funny about three people sitting in a boat? Weird, I tell ya!

{Heimdall: we share a sense of humor! I'll let you do the American spoofs}

any country that can elect GW TWICE doesn't need anyone else to tell jokes about it.

I just saw this post yesterday and have read most of the posts since then. It is very entertaining. The best part is you left poor Dobby in the dust a couple of days ago. (S)he hasn't a clue what any of you are talking about. It's like (s)he never started the post.

Sometimes threads just take on a life of their own.....

No - I think we are way beyond Dobby - probably lost in the woods. Wonder how s/he will do with people that specialize in satire (I won;t talk to anyone who is sassy to ME - stamping his/her little feet).

Wonder how s/he will do with people that specialize in satire >>

I don't know, nyt, i can imagine him/her sitting in the corner of a bar somewhere in darkest ??? whilst the chat goes on around him/her, totally oblivious to the fun that is being had at his/her expense.

DobbyTheTurtle (or if he's DobbyTheTroll) may learn something from a much earlier (and much better) series of threads about Scruffman:

The preparatory thread:
http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/scruffy-young-man-entering-the-uk.cfm

The United States adventure:
http://www.fodors.com/community/united-states/scruffy-young-man-has-left-the-building.cfm

The European adventure:
http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/the-scruffman-in-europe.cfm

The Asian adventure:
http://www.fodors.com/community/asia/the-scruffman-chronicles-the-scruffman-in-india.cfm

The return to Europe:
http://www.fodors.com/community/europe/the-scruffman-chronicles-triumphant-return-to-europe.cfm

Sorry but that didn't help me at all. I keep myself put together and I'm way better looking , and I have a return ticket with me, and I wouldn't miss my stop on a greyhound bus twice

Elbegewa, there's much more entertainment to be had from sandy456.

....any country that can elect GW TWICE doesn't need anyone else to tell jokes about it.....

I remember in 1997, when William Hague accepted election defeat. He had been working towards being Prime Minister since he was about 12 and all his dreams were shot to pieces. He could still summon up a quip, "Where is Jeb Bush when you need him?"
BTW I shall pass on a tip from a poster to another thread. It was something like, "The British use knives and forks to eat. Perhaps you might like to practise before you go"

Wanted:
“Village is search of an idiot”

Our village has lost its idiot after years of faithful service, so we are seeking candidates for the position. Desirable qualities in candidates are:
Ability to speak in riddles.
Confusion with regard to gender.
Not know what day it is.
Secrecy regarding the most basic of information
Poor spelling, indeed any level of literacy will go against the candidate
Ability to fall backwards off a five barred gate
Candidates with an inability to listen to sound advice will be favourably regarded.

peter - nytraveler is your guy...

or girl

What makes you think I'm a guy?

Don't you think women can be travelers too?

(And sorry, but we all know who should be applying for the job.)

Village idiots tend not, in popular repute, to set out to offend people - and especially not the people who try to help them.

I always imagined nytaveler to be a middle age white male. My bad

isn't there an irony there, Dobby, that you resist our attempts to work out whether you are make or female, but you leap to conclusions about others?

300th comment yay!

Only just happened across this thread so I don't know what I may have missed which has now been deleted. But I can't believe nobody has commented on the relevation some way through that this flat is unfurnished! So Dobby, you think you just need an airbed, a mini fridge, a microwave & a vacuum (cleaner, I assume)? So on the long dark winter nights (and indeed all the time you are at home in the flat), you are going to be happy sitting there on your airbed? I'm assuming you will have a computer of some sort for entertainment. But don't forget bedding (or at least a sleeping bag), towels and crockery/cutlery/pans etc (I assume you won't be living solely off takeaways eaten with your bare hands and liquids glugged from screw-cap bottles?). I don't know about where you live now, but in Britain unfurnished means nothing is provided except (usually) white goods (so you shouldn't need to buy a fridge). Have you checked where your nearest IKEA is?

No it's unfurnished I don't know how to cook, so I won't need pots or pans. I can buy paper plates, forks and spoons. And yes I know to buy bedding I don't use towels, I like to air dry by walking around naked And most of my eating will be at local eating places, not just the usual KFC or Mcdonalds . There is also a supermarket close to where I will live where I can buy food to cook in the mircowave

But I can't believe nobody has commented on the relevation some way through that this flat is unfurnished!>>

perhaps by that point we just didn't care, caroline.

post 302 [who's counting?] says it all.

it's going to be a cold and miserable 6 months in turtleland.

"it's going to be a cold and miserable 6 months in turtleland."

Especially w/ the bare floors and no window coverings.

Air dry... clearly a male.

"And most of my eating will be at local eating places, not just the usual KFC or Mcdonalds" - isn't this clown on a budget?

"And most of my eating will be at local eating places, not just the usual KFC or Mcdonalds">>

hope s/he likes doner kebabs and fish and chips, though they are hardly cheap, nowadays.

And if he's planning to air dry during an English winter I hope he either has lots of money for utilities, or really good medical insurance. Lol. (Hint: Towels will be cheaper.)

Um, tiny towns in England don;t have Mickey D;s of KFC.. But you're going to eat a lot of fish and chips or kebabs - or pub lunches (lasagna and chips, scotch eggs) or the local versions of lean cuisines. For more than 500 meals? Eating out 3 meals a day will give you time to do little else - except wander around from one eating place to another.

And if the place is unfurnished how many thousands of pounds have you allowed for appliances, bed, sofa, TV plus the things that aren't paper - like microwave, coffee pot, frying pan, etc. And I think you'll find that buying budget stoneware and utensils will cost a lot less than 6 months supply of paper plates and plastic forks.

And what about sheets and blankets? Indoor temps in England tend to be a lot cooler than in the US - even if you have modern central heating with a thermostat you can put al the way up to 70 if you want. (And how much will that heat cost?)

S/he is probably expecting forced air central heating like mommy and daddy pay for back home.

Dobby is going for the record for responses, totally disregarding the fact that this thread was hijacked into complete and total uselessness to anyone looking for travel advise, long ago. Honey, no one cares what sex you are, what your actual situation is, or whether or not you ever learn anything from your adventures. Which we all suspect exist in the recesses of your imagination.

You have nothing for any of us to be jealous about, and it wouldn't surprise me if you were in truth, an elderly fellow living with his spinster sisters and/or mother. (Couldn't be a female as you have no sense of romance).

jan - The floors are carpet, and it does come with curtains (in the living room).

thursday - Your sassy comments are not needed. And yes I finally paid for med insurance and I have thought about utilities. I will pay whatever I have to pay, thank you!

nytravler - It's not a town it's a village, there's a difference. I clearly said that I won't be going to places like Mcdonalds or KFC. I want to eat at nice restaurants like Nandos etc. And wow you totally didn't even read my posts cause I already mentioned getting an airbed, and renting other furniture. gosh

uhoh - HAHA you're funny

How nice that at your tender age you can run off to Europe, and in your words buy what you want, eat where you want, go where you want. I cannot even remember what you wanted here in the frst place. But now frankly, you are beyond tiresome. Isn't it time for the parent funded adventure to begin? Fly away.

I want to eat in nice resteraunts like Nandos.

Which exist in EVERY village.

Isn't the image of "air drying by walking around naked" in a flat in Blunders-upon-Idiocy just the most precious thing ever? In a village three hours from London, with British weather and possibly no curtains??? Who in Hell doesn't use towels, except for Amazonian natives?

If this kid were mine, there is no end to the money I'd spend to send him off to East Wanky England. And I'd move while he's gone.

If you are staying in a village - just where are all these supposed restaurants?

maybe better learn to cook (but wear an apron if you plan on doing it naked)

Everyone has their own travel style. Six months of Pot Noodle purgatory might be heaven to some.

This thread is still going??

Fodorites never cease to amaze me.

Putting aside all the past mockery or attitude issues, and with no criticism intended: Dobby, are you absolutely certain about this flat?

There may be nuances and differences in the way words change across the Atlantic. To my British way of thinking village implies: Out of the way, small, limited facilities (A small shop if you are lucky , probably miles from a supermarket), limited transport options. Villages tend to be very expensive and don't often contain apartments.

If your apartment is part of somebody's home - possibly a separate conversion or "Granny flat" then it will be treated differently to a self contained apartment in a block. Your comment earlier about budgeting of around £2K for 6 months gives you less than £350 a month - in my part of the UK that doesn't come near the rental of a small studio flat.

On top of that you need to account for (And I am estimating) council tax (£80) Electricity /Gas including heating (£60 if you are careful with the heating) water (£30 if not metered).
Is there a laundry in this "Village"? Ready meals or Take away meals are expensive if that is what you will be living on, restaurants even more so.

Please write a trip report!!

I hope we some day find out what village it is....it must be the only village in the uk with a nandos! I have never seen a chain restaurant in a village before so it must be pretty special!

dobby, we want photos as well as a trip report!!!

are u stil planning on the 4 hour round trip into london daily!?!

on a side note i really don't get some americans' fascination with Nandos- weird as i would never picture it as somewhere to plan for a trip

(dont get me wrong, its fine- in fact i had it for lunch yesterday, but just shocked at its reach globally!!)

This thread is still going??
Fodorites never cease to amaze me.

Schadenfreude, maybe?

I wonder if the OP is headed for somewhere like Didsbury 'Village'in Manchester?

Bookmarking.
Hilarious.
Not Dobby - S/He ran out of comic inventiveness long ago. But the rest of you serial posters are very droll sometimes
PS I can't believe that up to the 200 post mark, folks were STILL posting serious advice.

NANDOS?

must be close to the best line ever.

but in a bid to be helpful, here's a link to the map:

http://nandos.co.uk/postcodesearch

care to tell us how close you are to one, Dobby? or would that be too much information?

I never said Nandos was in the village, it would take 30 mins to get there by train or cab. I'm not going to be in the village the whole time I will be traveling around.

ted - screw you

No I'm not going to be in Disbury.

willit - The shops and supermarket are close together. The supermarket is a 19 minute walk. I already thought about monthly tax and I get a discount for living alone My budget is not 2k for 6 months, it's what I paid for the apartment to cover me for 6 months. I have 7k in savings, plus I get £1k sent to me per month. I plan on renting a washing machine, microwave, mini fridge, and vaccum, which will be £500 for the full 6 months.

soical - I don't leave for another month, so why don't you go away.

I have a question/concern. What plug in should I get for my laptop. I'm so confused

Dobby - why would you think, when you are so rude, that anyone will answer your questions?

after all, you've got a whole month to find out what sort of plug you need.

Your laptop power adapter will almost certainly be 110-240V, so that is no problem.

there is am image of a standard UK plug here http://www.reuk.co.uk/Dual-Powered-Lighting-Circuit.htm

US to UK adapters are pretty cheap and easy, otherwise it is simple enough to buy a power lead with the correct plug attached. Ebay among others will have them for a couple of pounds (Actual type depends on the socket on the adapter itself - for example my work Dell has a simple 2 pin lead, my Asus a "cloverleaf" plug)

willit: Since Dobby knows everything imaginable about everything (and is making up the rest as s/he goes) I'm sure s/he could have figured that out on his/her own.

Ah, that's another thing. The UK has these funny plugs that can't be used anywhere else on the Continent.

They also measure everything in feet and inches and miles.

They weigh everything in pounds and ounces.

Did I mention they drive on the wrong side of the road?

Everything is bass-ackwards there.

Dobby: here's a picture of the plug adapter that you will need.

http://www.amazon.com/Universal-to-UK-Plug-Adapter/dp/B000G1EWZ2

Which brings us, this beautiful and bright Saturday morning to King Dick the Third, The Gentle-Hearted.

King Dick was a wonderful sailor - not surprising for someone born on an island. He had a marvellous water craft but sadly he had no sailors to man this beauty, so he set out on a Crews-Aide to find himself some bonnie sailors. He went over hill and dale and one day he met a Moor on the Moors, who told him about a king to north named "Vi" who had many wonderful sailors.

"Where might I find this King Vi?" King Dick enquired.

"Up north, very far north and in their language, the name comes first and the title comes after, so you must ask for the whereabouts of Vi-King." responded the Moor on the Moors.

"That I shall do," said King Dick and so off he went.

Ahime! (That "Alas!" in Italian opera) King Dick set off south instead of north. He wandered and wandered until he finally reached the Wholly Land. There he saw many ships, but they were ships of the desert and their sailors didn't know anything about sails.

Soooo, King Dick wandered on until another Moor - not the same one as the Moor on the Moors - told him about the land where only men dwell, there were no women there.

"It's called 'Alle-man(d)' - all men, no women - except for the mermaids who dwell in the river, they're known as the Rhinemaidens" said the Moor that wasn't on the Moors. "They have great sailors in All(e)-Man(d)".

So, off King Dick went on the road to find the river with mermaids in the land of all men.

After many weary months of travel, King Dick finally topped a hill and in the distance he spied a river.

"Aha! That must be the land of all men!" Down the hill he rushed and tumbled into a vineyard. The Little Old Winemaker came out and rescued King Dick and invited him in for a cup of wine. King Dick liked the wine, he asked for another cup - and another - and another.

"What is the name of this place?" he asked.

"The Wachau," responded the Little Old Winemaker.

"The 'what?' 'how'?

"Ja, ja," nodded the Little Old Winemaker.

"Well, I like this what-how place and I like your wines even better" and King Dick asked for another cup of wine - and another.

Meanwhile, back in Not-So-Merrie England, King Dick's brother, Little John - not the Little John who was with Robbing-the Hood - this is another Little John, the He-Who-Would-Be-King-Little John

Anyhow, Little John was giving the people of England such a bad time that King Dick's mother wrote to King Dick and told him he had to return pronto! King Dick wrote back saying "Send muchos pesos as I owe The Little Old Winemaker for all the wine I've been drinking these thirteen years!" His mother wrote back and said "Go and ask the Rhinemaidens, as they have plenty of gold!"

(to be continued - or not! Heimdall, relaly it's your turn! My yard needs tending to.)

Dobby, what is it you do to deserve the 1000 a month??

God help but it/she/he has achieved the aim.

Legendary status.

Should be running courses on fishing on the net.

Sorry, ET, I can't top that.

In about 10 minutes BBC is showing Hank IV — Part I, so I will have to sign off now.

>Should be running courses on fishing on the net.<

Definitely managed to net a good few. Pass the popcorn.

jan - I don't have all the answers, don't know where you're getting that from. If you have a better suggestion I'm all ears

Oh you little twerp, I am surprised you are still getting serious answers here.

It is not good form to say 'screw you' in a public forum. Poor manners any way you slice it.

Enjoy the entitlement, the savings,the trust fund or whatever allowance is enabllng you to have this adventure. The next month cannot come too soon IMHO. Seriously.

<<I don't have all the answers,>>

Well, we know that. You have hardly any of the answers, actually, though you sure think you do. Good luck with that.

oh, a trust fund baby. That explains a lot.

Ttt
341 and counting...

Trustafarians are a really tiresome breed. There's too many of them at Duke, down the street.

"don't know where you're getting that from"

Have you READ what you've written?

I'm not a trust fund baby, I actually saved

uhoh - are you in Durham? I'm just the other side of the Triangle.

I propose a special one off GTG in the UK, especially for our honoured guest.

Anyone up for it?

In this case is "GTG" code for "Tar & Feather"?

I'd just love!!!! to meet him/her. I foresee an interesting GTG
Just make sure it is within three hours of London

I must be really bad at budgeting my vacations. 6K only gets me and my husband 14 days in Europe. I wish I could find a way to make that stretch to six months but alas I must have a certain level of comfort and gelato several times a day. Hard to believe this post has been kicking around since May. Amusing but sad that this person thinks that spewing abuse will get them anything but abuse in return.

Oh, I dunno, crazy. Actually his attitude has gained him an amazing 350 replies. Usually you have to die to get that many responses.

And, of course, in young Dobby's mind, those replies are
attention, not abuse. We should be grateful - he's provided us all with an excuse to shed some of our angst, bully the new boy and shriek our perfection into cyber-space.

Very satisfying.

"just make it within 3 hours of London"

Doesn't matter where, I'll cycle from SW Scotland.

King Dick set off south instead of north. He wandered and wandered until he finally reached the Wholly Land. There he saw many ships, but they were ships of the desert and their sailors didn't know anything about sails.>>

like the story, ET, but the King Dick you're talking about was the first of that name, not the third.

and by repute he was lionhearted, not gentle.

I'm now thinking poor Dobby is going to be a victim of an apartment rental scam on Craigslist or Gumtree.

S/he will take a taxi from the airport to the outskirts of Burnley or Middlesbrougn (or maybe Skelmersdale) (that's if the taxi driver is willing to go there - some of these places are like a war-zone) and find that the apartment his/her mummy and step-daddy have paid for doesn't exist.

I foresee much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Oh my Lord, we've got a few cases of online Stockholm Syndrome here!

I think people have spent so much time on this thread that they are actually coming around to believe in "Dobby".

So even as they trumpet their skepticism and their frustration, they're really hoping s/he is real, gets his/her comeuppance etc etc.

Not gonna happen.

"Dobby" is a figment and "Dobby's" trip is likewise a figment.

What a waste.

"Dobby" is a figment and "Dobby's" trip is likewise a figment.>>

I think we all know that. This is now a meta-thread, which has taken on a life of its own.

And not nearly as much fun as "Tipping the Pilot"

mjdh - No. I would NEVER search for an apartment on craigslist. Never even heard of gumtree. I went to a legit house/flat website. I've actually contacted the agency on their website and spoke to them on the phone. Sarah being one of the women that work there. aha! x

ted- my trip IS real.

nytravler - why are you still here? -.-