Separate checks at restaurants

I can't speak for Paris, but I can tell you that I was part of a group of 6 that spent 10 days in Italy in October.

We decided the first night that since we were eating similar things, we would simply split the checks 6 ways and be done with it. We were all on our own sort of budgets, some with higher budgets then others, but this worked very well for us.

Prior to the trip, we had decided that we would all be prepared to pay cash for meals, and we would figure it out at the table prior to paying. During the first dinner in Rome, we decided that would be too much of a pain, and the splitting it 6 ways was much easier.

On average, we spent about 15-15 Euro per person for dinner and around 15 Euro each for lunch. None of us thought that splitting the check caused us to pay more that we would have had we paid individually.

Hope this helps.

No, they wouldn't be offended at all but they will say a big NO Too much work .... they usually note what you ask for by table, not by person.. And it will be bad for you if they say yes, because it is very easy to get confused..you will be safer doing the cost counts yourselves

My friend and I just split the cost. I think it's not so common in Paris (Europe too?) to ask for separate checks.

Not done!

Thank you all for the quick reply. You have been a great help. I'll take your suggestions/comments to our group.

If you're all friendly and reasonable, don't bother. I would guess that someone in your group is prepared to figure out the tab. Otherwise, just ask. They'll do it or not. Many, many more places don't mind issuing separate checks, but ask before you order. In the more casual places, especially cafes, you'll receive them anyway.

Separate checks are very common in France, particularly among young people. And they are practically a given at lunchtime among co-workers. There are probably not so common at high end restaurants, however now that all such things are prepared by cash register computer terminals, it is no trouble at all to get a separate check whenever you want one. In the old days, when things were added up manually, it might have dismayed some waiters. Not any more!

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My friend and I just split the cost. I think it's not so common in Paris (Europe too?) to ask for separate checks.
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this is simply not true. in many european countries, it is ASSUMED that charging will be done separately (e.g. germany, denmark and many others). in other countries (eg france, UK and others) it is common to ask to be charged separately.

there is also a cultural point here...in america, for example, it is often seen as petty for friends to want pay only for what they have ordered rather than just to split the bill evenly. as an extention to this idea, it is often the case to just have one pay person pay and say 'you can pay next time'. even splitting the bill evenly can be seen as paltry and distasteful in many circles.

in europe, this is not really the case. in most countries, paying for what you ordered is more expected in a group and the person who reaches for the bill and starts to split by food ordered is not seen as petty.

as for 5 people always being on separate bills, i don't know how this will work in practice in every case. however, i completely agree with kerouac and i often eat in a group in paris on business and we always pay separately. most times when we go out for dinner, we will split evenly or by food ordered (with a single bill presented by the restaurant).

if you can make it work, i think that it is a better idea to pay for what you have. splitting it evenly often leaves one or two people (at least) with the feeling that they got a 'bad deal'....not so bad for a single meal but for two weeks, the non-drinkers and chicken eaters will start to feel shorted. 5 women travelling together for 2 weeks is begging for friction anyway, so why not try to minimise problem points where possible.

I traveled in France with 5 other people last month. In order make things simple. We decided that one person would be responsible for the check each night...since most of the places we ate at were more or less in the same price range, it worked out very well. Otherwise, just ask them to split the check...if you are paying with plastic they should be able to do it, I suppose. Either they will say yes or they will refuse..does not jurt to ask.

In my experience in Europe, most restaurants have tax & service included in the price, so the waiter, with his little change purse, figures your total on a piece of paper, takes your money, gives you change, and moves on to the next person. Separate tabs shouldn't be a problem. It may be a little more challenging in restaurants that use computerized checks, but if you ask, most will accommodate you.

walkinaround, thanks for correcting me. I wasn't sure.

With my friends, it usually depends. If we all had more or less the same thing, we simply split the check, otherwise we calculate, but we never ask for separate checks. Luckily quite some of us are engineers, so some calculating isn't a big issue

We often travel with another couple and divide costs. We have a common purse and from that purse we pay all common bills such as gas, tolls and meals. When the purse gets low we each put in another 200 euros or so.

I think the easiest is for everyone to have cash with them, and put in what they owe on the check each meal.

Spliting the bill 5 ways evenly, when people have different priced food could cause hard feelings in both directions. If someone doesn't drink, I still want to feel free to have as much wine as I like without someone else having to pay for it.

Another method is to establish a "kitty" and a treasurer who is willing to manage it.

The one method I would not use is expecting separate checks, at least in certain more high-end restaurants.

Cafeterias, self-serve, and fast-food places are another way to avoid the issue, since everyone pays for their own.

It's not unusual to split the bill between 2 persons, sometimes I've done among 3 people in casual restaurants that are not busy. But splitting among 5 people maybe a tad too much.
I agree with other posters who recommended a more elegant solution. Each of you taking turns, or keeping a record and settling toward the end of the trip.

Asking for separate checks is definently an american thing. Remember the wait staff are not so dependent on tips and therefore won't bow down to over-demanding tourists. It should be easy for you all to work it out. Good luck even asking someone in french to split the check.

p.s. Walkinaround is slightly wrong...it is seen as very petty and rather vulgar in almost all of europe [I grew up there] to argue over a check for what usually turns out to be pennies a difference on each persons dish. Unless there is unique circumstances such as a vegetarian when everyone else orders expensive steaks or someone who doesn't drink alchohol and the table orders expensive wine. Usually a table dining together can easily have a conversation about someone chipping in more or less than "average".

I'm with suze, I have much more drinks than some of our friends and it's not fair for them to pay for our share. Bring cash. But all of the diners should rather than one who gets to put it on his charge card for miles.
Diners, like our friends who may order like things and wine, we split it between two.
Nothing worse than a group of women who bicker over who owes what. I won't do that. There's always one who stiffs like one GTG.

Oh, Mimi, how true. I had lunch with two friends last Christmas at Chanterelle, one of the best restaurants in Manhattan. My friend, John, and I decided to order the $35 prix-fixe menu and suggested to our friend, Mary Ann, to do the same. Well, she ordered the $45 filet mignon, four glasses of $12 wine, and $15 chocolate cake for her pudding. When the bill arrived, guess what?

Mary Ann wanted to split the bill THREE WAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Oh, no, she didn't, Blanche" John exclaimed, wagging his finger like a white Ru Paul who went to Choate.

We made Mary Ann pay her fair share. But, guess what? She didn't give us any money for the tip. B****!

I don't like to ask for seperate checks either in a restaurant. But, when you go out to eat with a Mary Ann you just have to.

Asking for 5 separate checks is not really reasonable for the wait staff. If you're paying cash - simply figure it our yourselves and put it in. If credit card (and a waiter would have to be mad to deal with 5 credit cards for 1 dinner) one person pays and the others reimburse.

However, IMHO unless one of you is a complete glutton and another eats nothing but a bowl of soup - simply split it 5 ways and forget the minor details and concentrate on enjoying Paris. (By the way - if you have a glutton and a bowl of soup eater you're going to have bigger problems thatn the check - like where to eat, when to eat, how much time to spend at dinner - enjoying a nice meal or slurping and running).

We had an occasion several years ago when about 20 of us got together for dinner in a restaurant in northern Spain during a fiesta. One member of our group, a journalist with a major publication, on expenses, protested when the "host", as it where, a friend from London told everyone what their share of the bill would be. An even split. The journalist protested that he had only ordered a salad, wine and a little brandy. The response came back that he knew the rules and could have ordered anything on the menu he wanted. It was an excellent dinner for most of us, and a lesson to the rest. No separate checks when you’re out with a group of friends. Everyone shares, evenly. No time for discussions over who ordered what.

Allivian-it just depends on what type of restaurant you go to. For example, you all might want to go to Chez Leon-an excellent Belgian mussels and frites chain restaurant (very popular with Parisians-particularly the one on the Blvd. St. Germain/Mabillon metro stop). The waiter comes around with his little computer hand-held cash register, tallies each of your bills, credit card or cash, and you're done. Those restaurants that use those hand-helds, (and they are increasingly common, partic. in Paris) there won't be a problem. Also there are those cafes/brasseries where the waiter comes, tallies each of your meals separately, and then you pay him individually-but usually this is done with cash-the cash and credit card usage is more difficult at these places, and they might not do it 5 different ways. So again, it just depends where you decide to dine-many restaurants/brasseries have no problem with paying separately, others do.

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Asking for separate checks is definently an american thing.
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sorry, this is not true.

how do you explain countries like germany where the server will typically go around to each diner in a group and tell them what they owe based on what was ordered...all handled separately. this is the default behaviour. it is often assumed that it will work this way unless the group indicates that they will make a single payment. paying separate bills is not only acceptable, it is the norm in these countries!

I think in most countries of the world, the servers can tell when they are dealing with unrelated adults rather than families. In France, most waiters ask such a group if they want separate checks even before they start taking orders.

It is NOT appropriate in ANY restaurant in Europe OR anywhere else, tacky comes to mind, do your own math!

Please, don't talk about Europe. Here in Spain is not polite to the waiters asking for separate checks. Maybe you can ask, and they can do it as a favour to you...but it's not the usual thing.

Here in Ireland it's no big deal in most restaurants, and is certainly the norm at lunchtime with work colleagues. You wouldn't really ask for separate checks, you would just go up to the cash register and each pay individually. It's pretty normal. Some waiters might act as if they'd prefer you'd just hand over the cash in one lump sum, but those are generally the same waiters who seem to think that you are doing them a massive disservice by stepping foot into their establishments.

It's no biggie here.

If I'm ever in a group and notice that someone has ordered substantially less than anyone else, I usually suggest that they pay separately and we just divide up the rest of the bill between the rest of us. I think it's the height of bad manners to make someone else pay for food and drink that I've ordered. I think it's fine if you're all on a trip together and have plenty of money and order about the same, but if one person is in a different situation, why not take that into account?

I don't think it would be a massive problem, although I'm sure the restaurant would obviously prefer one bill.

Just make it clear right at the start that you want seperate bills.

This is a real bug bear of mine I hate all that squabling that happens when its bill division time.

Recently on a trip to Prague about 10 of us just put 500cK (£12) in the kitty and payed all the bills from that we had all we could eat and drink and there was change for the next day.

Not sure how much you would have to pay in France though..lol

Good luck

Muck

You know, I find this to be both an interesting and informative thread. There are clearly those Americans on this board, and some Europeans as well, that speak in terms of absolutes -that it's "tacky" to ask for separate checks, that it "is not done" in Europe-and in my 30 years of experience in this self-same Europe, I have to say that such blanket negations are simply not true-I have been paying separately when I have been with friends in Europe for as long as I have spent time there, and in as many European countries as I have spent time in.

But it may be a question of semantics-to "ask for separate CHECKS" is different than telling the server individually what you had and having that server with his multi-change purse (and who doesn't know THAT from Germany?-that has been the standard method of payment in German restaurants since as long as I can remember).

But not just Germany, the hand-held individual computers are increasingly in use across Europe-and you DO see these in London, Brussels, Paris and even in Rome, at certain busy lunch-time establishments. In Italy, I have paid separately always at any manner of restaurant I have gone to with friends in cities and small towns-it's just that they figure out what it is that we have had at the table, and we pay that way. There are of course, those servers who don't want to be bothered, but that generally is a personality-driven issue, rather than official restaurant policy.

Allivian-I do think it is a good idea just to tell the server up front that you will each be paying individually, but Parisian servers are pretty laid-back and very used to individual payment at restaurants-remember this is not some little village restaurant out in the country-this is a premier international capital-you will have NO problem here with paying separately.

"all handled separately. this is the default behaviour"

Maybe in Germany walkinaround, but certainly not throughout Europe.

If I went out with friends who made the waiter add up all separate meals, and then make separate credit card payments for all, I would not go out with them again. Doesn't matter if the waiter has a handheld computer. It's just not done.
Either you work it out by yourselves, and settle the bill cash. Or one person pays, the others pay him back later. We nearly always split the bill evenly. And if one or two people want to settle their portion of the bill by credit card, that is usually fine, but not all different bills for different people at the same table.

Tulips-yes, It IS done. At Chez Leon, as a matter of fact-I went out with two friends just this past September, two of us paid in cash, and I paid with a credit card, and the server came around with his little hand-held computer and DID NOT BLINK AN EYELASH about it. This was in Paris.

I took my mother to Chez Léon today -- but some Fodorites probably don't think that such a simple restaurant chain is worthy of their attention. Interestingly enough, it was the very first restaurant in Paris to use the hand held computers -- they are the pioneers of the whole system in France.

That's because nearly all the customers in Chez Leon are French-I never hear English in there, and I think the one at Mabillon is the best one in Paris, much better than the one in Brussels off the Grand Place.

Someone in our group has usually mastered basic math in high school so we let them do the division and pay what we are told.

GoTravel, when in San Francisco a couple of weeks ago let me tell you that all you Fodorite's would have been soooo distressed at my two friends (Fodorites also) and I at the end of the Friday evenings dinner. We had all been up since before 5:00am and had been on the go the entire day. We had a lovely dinner and when the check arrived (and we did only have one bottle of lovely Italian wine) I think it took us 15 minutes to add the tip and divide the total by three, lol. We were brain dead. We needed a little second grader to figure out what we each owed, lol. Well it gave us a good giggle anyway.

Please elaborate more on Chez Léon. I'm a bit puzzled by a Google search. Some mentions seem to refer to a restaurant with French food, and some to one with North African.

Maybe it's Leon de Bruxelles?

Last September, we met up with two other couples twice for dinner. Previously, we had never considered requesting seperate checks. But, one couple (the wife) was horrid! (Wife forgot about the water she ordered in lieu of wine, added incorrectly, etc.)

In both restaurants, AFTER the bill was presented, we had no problem paying seperately, even with credit cards.

Just ask for seperate checks when you order. If this is not possible, at least in Paris tax and gratuity are included in the prices, so it's not all that difficult to figure out who owes what.

Lately, we pay with cash (our bank does not have a fee for ATM withdrawals). We do have a credit card without any "currency conversion fee/surcharge", but many places it takes a lot longer to pay and leave if you pay by credit card versus cash.

PS I would NOT recommend asking for separate checks at places that are very, very busy during your visit, or at cafes if each of you is ordering only one or two items.

Yes, it is indeed Léon de Bruxelles -- we just call it Chez Léon in Paris. Sorry. Actually, the Chez Léon Moroccan restaurant and a Léon de Bruxelles are right next door to each other on Boulevard Beaumarchais.

Yes, despite the original Brussels restaurant being called Chez Léon, the other branches are called Léon de Bruxelles. I ate at the Brussels restaurant the other day and it was awful (and overpriced).

Anyway as regards paying separately, in my experience the answer is... it depends!!

When dining out with a group (in my circle anyway) people don't ask for separate bills, unless they need to claim their expenses back, or are self employed and can charge the meal to their business account or something.

On the other hand, there's certainly never been a problem in *paying* separately, even by credit card. But it's up to the group to work out who pays what.

asking for separate checks is totally ridiculous and tacky!!

Does that mean that you prefer to invite everybody at your table? It would be so tacky to ask them for money.

If you're friends and reasonable people, I can't imagine why you'd ask for 5 separate checks. In my opinion (and depending on the venue), that's borderline rude.

Presumably you're all adults with brains ... figure it out or, here's an idea!, just divide it 5 ways.

Borderline rude? Here is a good example of borderline rude :

"Presumably you're all adults with brains ... figure it out or, here's an idea!, just divide it 5 ways."



The original poster asking the question did not even say that the people with whom she is traveling are friends. She wanted to know if it is acceptable to ask for separate checks at restaurants in Paris. And the reply is that not only is it acceptable, it is also very common.

wow Gekko, talk about rude (your reply)!! Dividing a check evenly when people have different tastes and budgets is not a good idea imo. I don't like to pay for someone's extravagance, nor do I want someone else to pay for my carafe of wine if they do not drink.

Besides several helpful solutions have already been offered here... that it IS OK in many circumstances to ask for separate bills, or that people could carry cash and chip is exactly what they owe on the bill each meal.

Sheez.

Because the tax and tip are included, it is pretty easy to determine how much each person owes in a group. Just have each person in your group remember the price when they order. Hope you have trusting friends.

Five separate bills for 5 people?!?

I can't believe anyone is advocating such crass behavior!

As janiekins said, "totally ridiculous and tacky."

Five bills for 5 people? You deserve to get horrible service and little "surprises" in your food.

Sorry, it's true.

I would have to agree; asking for 5 checks for 5 diners belongs in the "midly tacky" category.

To me, and I realize I must be in the minority here, there is also something just a little bit tacky about everyone paying for just what he or she has ordered...I prefer to split the check so that each person pays the same fraction of the bill. One person actually pays the bill and the rest give the payer their fraction of the total cost....

Do people usually divide the bill according to what they ate, or just pay a fraction of the total?

Just curious.....thanks!

Well, in Paris, the waiter holds his little computer and asks "what did you have?" and you say "I had a kir and the herring, followed by the duck filet and I had a crème brûlée for dessert." And he says "17.80" and you give him your credit card and he prints your bill. Then he goes to the next person. It doesn't bother the waiter at all, but I guess it bothers certain insecure customers. Often it means a bigger tip, because everybody wants to give something.

I should mention that usually somebody says "put the bottle of wine on my bill."

Sure, in those instances in Paris when the waiter has the hand-held, separate bills are less likely to annoy ... but hand-helds are certainly not ubiquitous, and you won't encounter them at better restaurants.

And eks, to answer your question ... I dine out with friends at least 3 times per week here in Manhattan, and we generally just split the bill. Yes, sometimes you might overpay a bit, but comes around, goes around. Order the surf & turf next time!

We do not always simply split the bill ... sometimes a friend doesn't have wine or just orders a salad, for example, and that person (or persons) pay less.

It ain't rocket science. Like I said, any adult with a brain should be able to figure it out.

I don't think it's a matter of "tacky" to do such things, it may just be annoying if there are a lot of people. I'm always surprised at how math-challenged people are that they can't add a few numbers in the head in a couple seconds. Whenever I go out with friends, we do usually pay for what we ordered ourselves. Why wouldn't you, I don't even understand why people don't do that and just "split" the bill. I suspect it's because they aren't very good with math, as there is no real reason someone should pay for something other than they ordered. It only takes a few seconds to look at a bill and add a few numbers in your head (ie, 14 for main dish, 4 for drinks, that makes 18, and I'll add a bit for tax and tip). We do generally just split the bill if everyone had almost the same thing in costs, which happens sometimes with only a couple people. Maybe I have more reasonable friends, but the people I go out with are not cheap (eg, they don't "forget" to add a bit for tax and tip) and can do simple math quickly. Usually people have enough cash to put into the pot based on what they ordered, after glancing at the total bill, but sometimes one person has to pay by credit card and the other(s) give their cash to them.

People have such weird ideas about people paying for themselves, like you have to get out a calculator and figure it to the penny or something. People don't do that. Well, if they do, I don't know them, and in that case, I think you'd need a separate bill if it were for business expenses or something. I also don't usually eat in really expensive restaurants, so maybe that's part of the difference -- I tend to eat with friends in places that may be a total of US$15-25 a person. I frequently dine with some vegetarians, and I am not, so often their meals cost a few dollars less than mine for the main course, as meat or seafood often is more expensive. So why would I expect them to always split the check. I also want to order whatever I want without concern to the price, whereas other people are more on a budget.

This isn't just me, it's all the friends I know, and family, and I've never really associated with people who wanted to just split bills equally, so that seems weird to me.

Being mostly Wall Street finance people, I can assure you that my friends & colleagues are capable of doing the math, we just choose not to (unless it's obvious someone should pay more, or less, than others).

For example, 5 people at Mary's Fish Camp last night ... we all had apps & entrees, drank 2 bottles of wine, a couple of people also had beers. Our bill was $350 without tip. Each person paid $85. Did a couple of people pay a bit too much (like me)? Yes. But it'll all work out, and it was fast & easy and we were on our way.

A Wall Street finance person might have more tolerance for an extra $50 more here and there, compared to the average person.

<Do people usually divide the bill according to what they ate, or just pay a fraction of the total?>

Depends on who I am with. If it's a dear friend who I do things with and share money with often, maybe split it. My rich friends, simply pick up the tab for all of us. If it's a bunch of co-workers who had wildly different priced items, then I prefer to actually pay what I owe.

Gekko- You're basing your (smug) assumptions and replies on your own experience in NYC and Wall Street financial types. For all we know this could be a group of retired school teachers, who have never been to Europe, who aren't particularly fond of each other, and are on limited budgets... who knows?

I agree with you about not asking for 5 checks, that's why I think each person carrying cash, figuring roughly what they owe, and putting it on the table is the easiest and best solution.

Suze, but people generally forget to add tax etc, so when one unlucky person counts that pile of contributed cash, it's inevtiably short ... and what about the tip?

But whatever .. the OP asked a question and got a lot of answers ... if people want to be rude and/or petty, so be it ....

If the waiter appears reluctant to provide 5 separate bills, I suggest you rotate who pays the FULL bill, keep the receipts and then tot up who owes what to whom after the meal, at your leisure.

Its one thing to shout out 5 separate bills to a waiter at the end of the meal in your own language, but quite another in a foreign language. I'd certainly avoid it.

Thanks for the responses. I must say I did not have the experience in Paris of the waiter asking everyone what they ate...I guess the practice varies depending on the restaurant.

Somehow I feel like cringing when the check comes and someone at the table starts figuring down to the penny..."....let's see, I had the chicken breast for $14.50 and the endive salad for $5.00, so I owe $19.50 and you had the shoulder of lamb for $21.00 with no appetizer.....And you had two glasses of wine but I had espresso...." Actually THAT would be simple....but the situation is usually a bit more complex.....well, thanks for your responses...

Gekko, Since and your friends are in the finance business, I'm surprised they "generally forget" tax and tip.

Maybe I'm exceptionally bright, but I add enough to cover tax and tip on my portion of the bill -sheez louise.

We don't do it that way ... my experience with the "everyone throw in what you owe" is with a different crowd . . .

Isn't the amount of the tax on the restaurant bill?

Most of the time my friends and I just split the bill as we tend to order in a way that everyones share is more or less the same. Once in awhile that is not so, one of the woman had a cheese sandwich off of the child's menu..don't ask LOL and a cup of coffee, at a lunch recently so the other friend just told her what her share was inlcluding tip.

I make sure I always have a cash with me in different denominations so I can pay my share. Nothing is more irritating then someone announcing, oh my share is $45.00 and I only have three $20.00 with me, sigh.

Allivian, perhaps the best solution for the 5 of you is each day have a different woman take care of paying the bills in the restaurants for that day. The person resonsible for that day at the end of the day could figure out what the other four women owe for the restaurant bills that day. Everyone could then reimburse the responsible person at the end of the last meal perhaps back at the hotel. That is if you all feel confidant that everyone would pay their share to the responsible person each and every day. Best regards and have a wonderful time in Paris.

Personally, from a selfish reason of course I would love to be the one to put the bill on my credit card and have everyone else give me their share in cash..those frequent flyer miles you know but imagine everyone else has the same thoughts.

I am so glad that I don't have this problem with my various friends.

And when I am hosting the meal I make it clear to those I invite they are my guest so there is no question or confusion. I like to do that from time to time.

This has nothing to do with $$ but rather with relationships. Usually people who travel together should know each other well enough to do a kitty thing with an equal split unless someone is a teatotaller (with others not so). I can't imagine jepardizing a trip by even thinking about itemizing a check. I went to Europe 2 years ago with 3 other women. We are fast friends and all college roomates. One of us (a CPA) was the "banker" and we just put money in a kitty. We split everthing equally. At the end of the week the accountasnt (must be in the genes) did tally what the diffence was fron the "biggest" spender to the least. It turned out to be 2 euros! We laughed and celebrated with another bottle of wine.

Tax and service are included in the price of each item on a French menu, so at least that is one less thing to worry about. As for the tip, it is whatever you want to leave -- or not, if the service is not good.

I've been hoping that someone would ask the next question -- what about doggy bags?

Re: Doggy bags, don't forget that potions are generally smaller in Europe vs North America (as mentioned in other threads about people sharing a plate).
Also depends on what types of restaurants you're at and the crowds. I would dare ask for a doggy bag at a client dinner at Ivy though would not hesitate to ask for one at Pizza Express if one of my kids left 2/3 of the pizza.

Re doggy-bags. They're very common in Greece. If you don't finish your meal and there's a substantial amount left, it is not unreasonable to take it home. I've done the same in at least one restaurant in England.

Re splitting bills among 5 people in Europe. Sometimes good friends and I have just split the cost evenly, regardless of someone's wine intake or vegetarianism. When with people who are not friends, such as work collegeagues, we have each totted up what we had, and paid an elected "banker".

I have never asked for separate bills, or heard anyone ask for separate bills or heard of anyone who asked for separate bills over most of Europe. As someone else said, it just isn't done. It makes more work for the staff who possibly haven't got time to do your accounts for you, whether by hand-held or not.

But this is the modern world and times change. If you make 5 separate orders and specify 5 different bills before you start, then you may be in luck. Of course, your food may then come at different times!

So Allivian, are you clear on what to do now? Some say it is always done, some say it is never done. Some say it's tacky to ask for separate checks. Some say it's tacky to figure it out individually on your own. Some say they always share the check equally, some say they wouldn't dream of it.

For the most part, my friends and I figure that by the time we're dead, it will all have worked out. This comforts me; I like to see myself having someone to go out with for the rest of my life. To facilitate this, I generally pay any old way my friends want. More and more, that means sharing equally.

Speaking for Germany, it's everybody for him/herself . Ask people in eastern Europe about "paying the German way" and they'll know what you're talking about .

Did we lose our OP? We haven't heard from her since she left this question for us

This is an etiquette nightmare.
Supposing that two of the party share a course and one of them eats more than half of it, how do you divy up the bill?
Then of course, the pudding might have a cherry on top. If you share it, what percentage of the cost would the cherry represent?
Quite often when I'm out with friends one of them will give me her olives because she doesn't like them. Perhaps I should check the price of olives in the supermarket and then add about 10% for each one.

Josser,

LOL!


others,

Do FRIENDS really nitpick over this sort of thing? For goodness sake, just take turns paying the check!

There is an alternative to all this fuss. You can elect, all five, in advance, to deposit, for example $300 each, to a single credit card. Then use that one for all meals. If, at the end of the trip, the joint meals have gone over the amount, you owe the cardholder the excess divided by 5: if there is money over, split it. Neat, tidy and, frankly, if you can't agree to that plan in advance, you will probably find splitting subsequent bills at table,a relationship-wrecking nightmare.

What if somebody asks for a doggy bag and they put the food from the other people's plate into the container? Who should pay what?

(Actually, to get back to 'serious' matters, doggy bagging is absolutely not done in France, but if someone does actually dare to ask for one, the staff are so surprised that they actually do it. But it has been such a long time since the last time I was in the presence of such an event that it is probable 1) that it is more common because more people have asked over the years and 2) it is less shocking because the staff have taken vacations in North America. But the main reason that it is not done is that portions are smaller in France, and there is rarely anything left on the plate if you found the food good.)

1. Is it okay to ask for separate cheques? Would they be offended if we even asked?

A. It depends if you ask before or after attempting to leave the establishment after the meal. (In the latter case, offense is nearly always taken....)

Seriously, if you should ever find yourself in an establishment that is above discussing the terms of settlement of the bill, prior to your placing your order, leave. This includes whether cc are accepted, whether service charge is included in full or in part, whether separate cheques will be issued - and oh, how much the items you are about to order will cost.

2. Do we need to get one check and later figure out each person's cost?

A. If you are in a one-cheque scenario, then whether each person owes 1/5 of the total or a varying amount depending on each individual's expenditure is up to you and your companions to decide. Personally, I prefer to order what I want, when I want, free from any anxiety whatsoever that someone is subsidizing me. This needn't involve meticulous accounting as soon as forks are laid down, it can involve each person taking turns paying but keeping receipts and settling up later.

The only city where this is commonplace is Prague, where, of course, it is known as Seperate Czechs.

I like that summation.

Wow, clearly this is a complex quandry many places if you don't ask.

But honestly, even if I were on the moon, I just wouldn't ask the waiter or server to do 5 separate. I would possibly take the I pay tonight, you pay tomorrow night approach if the restaurants are fairly money equivalent or do the kitty thing.

It's the drinks and extras that often make one person's cost much more than the others.

Wow 78 posts. Has anyone noticed that the OP has not posted again since thanking for help on the 6th post?

You may resume chattering amoung yourselves.

MorganB

I'll have you know that posting here serves the invaluable purpose of keeping me from doing what I am supposed to be doing. For this I am grateful to the OP, present or absent or even dead.

By the way, thanks again for your wonderful sncf ticket ordering thread.

Maitaitom

Here at the Cabaret Fodors, the drummer has just followed you up with a roll....

For an interesting topic, it doesn't really matter if the OP checks back in or not.

MorganB, We are *always* chattering among ourselves. If you haven't caught on to that, you must be new around ere -lol!

Not to worry...the OP and her gang (I'm one of them) is checking in regularly on this thread to see what all you smart Fodorites think. Boy, if you want an opinion, just ask...

Travelbunny,
Great! It's genetic and I love it.
M

Yes I know we chatter Just poking fun. Now I can add my opinion:

If you want to pay 5 ways, calculate it yourselves. In France they will let you pay with 5 credit cards as long as you tell them how much to put on each.

Having a common purse and one person acting as "Banker" makes everything so much simpler. It all evens out in the end, UNLESS someone is particularly or overly parsimonious.